


Tendril

by supremeleader



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Ben Solo Needs To Be Freed, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Jedi Training, Kylo Needs Some Love, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, NSFW, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Vivid Force Visions, and he'll get it...eventually, force connection, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-03-27 15:58:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 65
Words: 102,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13884234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supremeleader/pseuds/supremeleader
Summary: "Look into the Force, what do you see?" "Hope."





	1. Feel the Force

_The Force... it surrounds us... binds us. It makes us who were are... It turns us into who we are meant to be. Luminous beings are we..._

_Not this crude matter..._

_What is it... that you see within the Force? Within the depths of the black mass of space?_

**_Hope._ **

**_Past. Present. Future._ **

**_Light. Dark._ **

**_Freedom._ **

"U can nopa escape!" The deep voice growled, feet patting against the sandy terrain, breath hitching the harder they breathed. "Get bata unko!" Pointing their hand, they panted.

Wearing a tight grin on your lips, you felt a snicker rumble in your throat. Dodging past pedestrians on the streets of Mos Eisley, you jumped crates and slid past hovercrafts. "Noleeya do dreams!" You called out, nearly ramming your shoulder into a passer-by. "Sleemo!"

Gritting their teeth, they shouted: "Schutta!"

Gasping over your shoulder, your eyebrows knitted. "Kava dare u?!" Looking over and seeing them pull out a blaster, you looked back ahead only to gulp. A dead end. Three beige walls surrounding you with no way out but up or... well, past the angry smuggler.

"Mee have u ateema." They smirked, finger on the trigger as their blaster aimed right for your heart.

Lifting your hands in defense as your mouth fell open, you took in a deep breath. "E chu ta." Seeing their eyes widen, you winked, fist closing as the blaster flew right out of their hand and into yours, pushing your free palm into the air and sending them flying back, colliding with a stone pillar. "And that is how it's done..." You breathed, sticking their blaster into your now empty holster, walking over and nudging them with your boot covered foot.

They were unconscious, just what you needed to get out of that position.

Most of the time, if not always, you never killed. Killing was the last thing on your list, you preferred whoever it may be to suffer. Death was too kind.

Taking in a deep breath, you wiped the back of your gloved covered hand over your forehead, removing the excess sweat that made the strands of your hair stick to your face. The Tatooine weather was not in your favor _—_ especially in your attire.

Black pants, beige tunic, off black boots... and the dark grey jacket you had been in. Not to mention the grey scarf and goggles that you wore because of the sandstorms.

It also didn't help that you had come from a planet that had cool weather that made your attire much more appealing...

Removing the scarf from around your neck, you slung it over you shoulder as you pushed your bangs behind your ears. You needed a breather. All that running and fighting, escaping hordes of angry bounty hunters, you pressed your hands against your knees as you shut your eyes.

Seeing water flow gracefully, bubbles sparkling as sun light beamed through the sea of tranquility, your mind fuzzed with the image painted out in your thoughts. You could almost hear it. The way the water swayed and shifted, something leaving the water momentarily, only to renter with a loud splash following.

Opening your eyes once again, your focus had been set on your breathing, only for the surrounding world to seep back into your mind, snapping you back into reality.

This wasn't new, nor was it uncommon. Recently, whenever you closed your eyes, you always pictured a vast ocean and bright skies... but never understood as to why.

You spent most of your life traveling, seeing plenty of body of waters... but none of them was like the one in you visions. Or so you called them.

Shaking the feeling off, you stood up straight and began to walk again, leaving the area and finding your way out of the rather dangerous spaceport town. You really were only there for spare parts for your ship... and possibly to get a good drink in you. But things didn't go quite your way...

Sucking in a deep breath as you rolled your shoulders, you realized the area you had been in was quiet... too quiet for your liking. Usually the passageways and so called streets were filled with people and creatures of all sorts. Even droids. But now... now it was deserted. Had you missed something?

Aiming back for the landing pad your ship had been waiting for you on, you stopped in your tracks as you felt something unusual in your chest. Something you felt when something was about to happen. Or, at least when you were anticipating something.

Eyeing your surroundings and not seeing a single thing that could threaten you, you bit your inner lip. What was it that you were feeling?

"Must be nothing..." You mumbled to yourself, walking on _._

But, then you felt it again. And it was stronger... and it was there.

Narrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you shut your eyes again, feeling the world around you. Listening to the wind blow the pebbles of sand past your feet, brushing your loose strands of hair away from your face and allowing them to flow.

Darkness surrounded you, a dark hallway, bright lights... black, red, white. It was long... but were you willing to follow? Hearing an echo hum throughout the walls besides you, you breathed at a steady pace, keeping yourself calm.

 _Who are you?_ The voice vibrated, almost inaudible. _Who are you?_ It repeated, flowing down the hall.

Just about to take a step forward, something made you open your eyes again as you instantly pulled out your blaster, aiming it at someone in the distance. Someone dressed in an off white cloak. "Who are you?" You asked, trigger ready to be pulled.

Getting no response, they only turned away and walked off.

Blinking, you searched the nearby area to see no one else insight, bringing forth confusion. Were you meant to follow? Something in you was tugging you along to do so.

Looking back ahead, you swallowed, placing your blaster back into your holster before walking ahead, aiming towards the hallway they had walked through.

Turning your head from left to right, you went right _—_ where you knew they went.

Picking up your pace, losing sight of them, they came into your view once again, walking down narrow alleys and steps, along barren streets and shoppes. Whoever they were... you had to follow.

Rushing along, beginning to pant as the heat was getting to you once again, you wiped the sweat from your face and the hair from your cheeks and forehead as it stuck. Seeing them continuously walk on with long strides, you blinked as your eyebrows furrowed. Where were they going? Who were they? And why were you following?

Trying to catch up to them, they turned a sudden corner, instantly disappearing from your sight as your lips parted. "You're not allowed over here, this is a restricted area! _"_

Turning your head as your eyes widen, a set of easily ten stormtroopers _—_ men and women cladded in white and black armor—turned to face you as they aimed their blasters.

"Show us some identity cards." Gulping, you shut your eyes for a moment, seeing the fast movement of light before you reopened them.

Extending out your hand, that same stormtrooper went flying back.

"Take her down!" One shouted as your heart raced, you pulling out your blaster but seeing it was only jammed. _What a waste, it wouldn't have killed me then._

Tossing it at one of them, you instantly ducked, swiping your hand in mid air and sending the blaster away from their reach. Lifting up your leg and sending a swift kick to their chest, they went flying back, head ramming into a crate and knocking them out cold.

Hearing a blaster being fired, you reached out your hand and watched it stop midair, your heart fluttering in your chest as you grinned, only squinting your eyes as the blaster got sent back into them, destroying the blaster itself and sending the trooper back.

Shifting your eyes from trooper to trooper, you pushed your hand through the air and sent three of them flying back, hitting the wing of the shuttle they came in.

Hearing blasters being set to fire at you, you froze in your spot as you looked over your shoulder. You knew if you made any sudden moves, you'd be long dead.

But something in you... something that called to you, spoke to you, made you clench your first. Hearing the sound of sudden gasps and grunts, everything around you instantly went slow.

Turning around and looking up at the three troops that flew into the air as your eyes widened, everything snapped back into a normal rate as they came crashing down on to the ground. Hard.

Panting as you felt your head throb, you fell to your knees. You had never used that much of your... _abilities_ before. To the point that the world was spinning, making you light headed as you felt something drip from your nose.

Wiping it away with your gloved hand, you sighed. Blood.

Overuse of your abilities, you assumed. It had never happened to you before... but neither had any of _that_.

"The Force... it flows heavily within you. Like your own blood." Snapping your head up at the voice, a figure stood before you, the burning binary suns morphing their body into black. "It's strong... beyond strong."

Standing up and taking a step back, you looked at them. You could hardly make out their face, the hood shadowed on them enough to block your view. "Who are you?" You asked, studying them, eyebrows knitted. You tried to understand them... read them. But all you sensed was curiosity. Wonder. Hope.

"I'm someone who can help you."

"Help? I don't need help. I've survived this long just fine." You nodded, but the figure didn't falter. They weren't sidetracked, not for a moment. They sensed it in you... the lack of direction. Lack of guidance.

"You have... but, it will catch up. The more you unlock within yourself. The more you discover... the more you are prone."

"Prone? To what?"

"Danger."

"Danger?" You breathed. "I'm already in danger as it is. Constantly. No matter where I go." You corrected.

"That is danger you can confront and easily defeat... this danger, not so much without the right guidance. A way to prevent it."

Taking in a deep breath, swallowing as you eyed them with furrowed eyebrows, you blinked. You were curious as to what they meant. How could they possibly know so much? How could they know of your capabilities... aside from what they had seen? And how could they know what you needed in order to survive?

"I'll ask you again: who are you?" You repeated yourself, arms now crossed. " _Who_ are you?"

"As I said before... Someone who can help you." They repeated, causing your eyes to narrow in slight annoyance.

"That doesn't matter to me when I have no clue as to who ever you are. So, tell me, who are you? What gives you the right to think you know what's best for me when I have no idea as to who you are, mysterious cloaked person?"

Watching them take a step closer as their gloves hands lifted, removing the hood, they gave you a stark look _._ A rather dramatic expression, as if it had been a big reveal. But nothing... nothing rang a bell.

"What was that supposed to do?" You questioned, eyeing their face. The greying shoulder length hair and beard... the pale blue eyes. Nothing struck you. Absolutely nothing. You didn't recognize him at all. Were you supposed to? "Was I... was I supposed to be surprised? Or something?"

Taking in a deep breath, the man stood in front of you. "I am a Force user myself."

"Force user..." You breathed as he nodded.

"You are one as well." He pointed. "Well, one who needs training. Nose bleeding isn't all that common. At least, I never went through that."

Lifting your hand up to your nose, you looked him in the eye. "Okay, that's neat, but who are you?!" You asked, becoming impatient.

Sighing, he shook his head. "Patience..." He nearly whispered, almost low enough for you not to hear. _Something you lacked when you were being trained_. A voice echoed in the open air, making your eyes wander.

"Wh-"

"You've seen an ocean in your visions. A deep blue sea. Water moving gracefully." The man spoke as your eyes widen. "You know... You've seen it... You've felt and heard it."

"How do you... How do you know?" You questioned, heart skipping a beat as you took a small step back.

"I know that ocean." He said. "I've seen it." Staring at him bewildered, he took in a small breath. "Close your eyes-"

"Why should I?"

"Just... do it, close them."

Unsure as to why you obliged, when this man could've easily made a false move, your eyes fell closed. You couldn't tell what, but there was something about the man that made you want to... trust him.

Seeing your mind run through images, watching them flutter by, the ocean and deep water passed your vision. The sounds and sight zooming by. Feeling as if you were being lifted right out of the water, a sudden island came into view. The bright sky. Clouds. The sun.

Rocks... Land... Animals... Creatures...

The man?

Forcing your eyes open as you jumped, you looked at him. "How?" You asked.

"I can show you."

Looking at him, you stayed silent, eyes searching his own. There was a small connection... you felt it. Why was he there in your vision? How was he there.

"I am Luke Skywalker."

_What is it that you feel?_

**_The Force._ **


	2. The Jedi Way

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

_There is no chaos, there is harmony._

_There is no death, there is the Force_

"The Jedi way." Luke breathed, standing before you.

_Emotion, yet peace._

_Ignorance, yet knowledge._

_Passion, yet serenity._

_Chaos, yet harmony._

_Death, yet the Force_

"What does it all mean?" You asked, sitting before Luke, in front of a tree. A tree that you felt so much... yet, nothing at all from.

"It is a code. A mantra... One once used by the Jedi long before me." Luke began. "But I... do not go by the rules. Not entirely. It's what helped lead the Jedi to its verge of extinction." He said.  "I am Jedi that was born from the mistakes the ones before me have made. _"_

"And you will be the one who will learn from the mistakes of the Jedi after me." Eyeing him, you sucked in a breath. You weren't sure what had easily captivated you and beckoned you to join the man _—_ a man only known by legends and stories, in which you hardly known—but something within you begged you to follow. The curiosity that always overcame you.

Your weakness, yet, your strength.

"A Jedi..." You softly spoke, looking down at your hands, then up to the man. "What if I'm not made for this? All my life... I've used the Force in ways to keep me safe and alive... not in ways to save the galaxy."

"Who said you will be saving the galaxy?" Luke lifted a brow as your own furrowed. You had thought that... well, at least a hint of you believed, that he took you under his wing for a reason. Why else would he? "Well... at least not yet."

"Then why else bring me with you?" You questioned.

"Because, I could feel your Force from lightyears away. I could sense it, feel it against my own. You are strong, but you don't know how truly strong you are." Luke explained. "I watched you fight the stormtroopers, I walked you right into that mess. And you unlocked and discovered things about yourself that you never would have before."

Blinking, your lips fell open. "You... set me up?"

"Not entirely... well, yes. I jammed your blaster and guided you into a trap... Not entirely a trap, but, a post. Where troopers were." Looking up at him, unamused, Luke sighed.

"How is it that they hadn't seen you?" You questioned.

"Astral projection." He simply answered as you blinked. "Something I'm sure you'll learn to use in no time. Your powers are growing at an unbeatable rate... far quicker than anyone I have ever known... and that is why I need to show you the ways of the Force." Luke explained as you slowly nodded.

You were a bit... terrified (yet amused) by the fact that you were gaining new abilities that you had never dealt with before. And the thought of gaining and unraveling more excited you. "The light side of the Force?"

"Everything." Luke said. "The light and the dark are very much black and white, but the Force is not. The light is honesty and compassion. Mercy, self-sacrifice... the Force." He stated. "On the other hand... the dark is raw emotions. Anger, hate, fear. Jealousy, aggression. Untamed power and passion."

"But then... there is the Force. The power of the cosmos. The galaxy isn't all black and white, is it?" Shaking your head, Luke continued. "It's spiritual. It binds all life forms. It is very important to the Jedi and Sith. But we are not either."

"But... I thought you were-"

"There is more to it." Luke shook his head. "The Force unifies. It's an energy... it helps bring and create life. It's anything and everything. And you must understand that everything isn't always black and white. Just like the Force."

Nodding, you watched as Luke crouched in front of you. "What is it that you feel the Force is?"

Blinking, you looked down. "The universe. Everything within it. Creatures... living and dying. The stars... the planets. The vast and infinite world around us."

Nodding his head, Luke lightly smiled before standing back up. "Good. That is our first lesson." Turning away from you, you quickly stood up.

"First lesson? What?" You asked, patting away the debris from your pants.

"You must learn about the Force in order to wield it." Luke stated. "You control the Force, it does not control you. Remember that."

"I control the Force..." You lowly muttered, nodding your head before you followed Luke.

"We will be going down a route that is neither Jedi or Sith. We will lean towards the Jedi and the light, but we will learn from their flaws. What made their downfall. What blinded them." Luke said as he walked. "You will not fall or fail. You will not bring doubt to yourself. You will learn. You will make mistakes. But, from mistakes, you become better."

"You are one with the Force. The two of you coexist in one life form, as the rest of us. But, the Force favors you... in ways not many are. You can wield it. _They_ can't."

Looking over at the tree and feeling the pull, Luke came to a stop. "It may call to you, but you may not answer. The way of Jedi, the old text, it is nothing to what we have learned. We grow from history, we learn from what was done wrong and repeat what was done right. We start our own beginnings and help continue them with the progress we've made."

"Does learning the ways of the Force include talking a lot?" You asked, Luke stopping in his tracks as his eyebrow lifted, turning to face you. "Just curious."

"No." He answered, only to cross his arms. "But learning the ways of the Force involves a lot... and you can't do much in that horrendous attire."

Lifting your eyebrows in shock, eyeing your clothing, you looked back up at him. "What do you expect from someone who jumps from  
planet to planet, making a living and trying to survive?"

"Better when she's Force sensitive."

Scoffing, you shook your head, crossing your arms. "You know, if I knew my visions included a snarky old man, I think I would've avoided them."

"You couldn't." Luke shrugged as your eyebrows narrowed.

"Why not?"

"I projected them onto you." He nonchalantly stated as if it were no big deal.

"You..." Rolling your eyes, you sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I needed you to understand, to feel the Force. To let it guide you for when the time had come for me to find you. It's been some time since I have sensed you out, but not long. Your abilities are only getting stronger and stronger the more you use them. And you need to learn control, or else your nose bleeds will lead to you taking your own life."

Feeling your shoulders drop, you breathed. "Lovely."

"But, like I said, you need better clothing. The Care Takers will handle you." Luke waved a hand.

"Care Takers?" Hearing sudden high pitched voices sound behind you, you jumped, a handful of creatures dressed in whites got a hold of you. "Wh- Are they?"

"Those are the Care Takers of Ahch-To, caring for these sacred grounds. Welcome to your Force training, we will soon begin." At that, he walked off, leaving you to be dragged away by the Care Takers who reminded you much of little old women.

Pulling you into a hut made out of stone, they peeled off your gloves, scarf, jacket and boots, making you stand in confusion as others brought around different sorts of cloth and materials. "What is happening..." You muttered, a pair of them trying to take your pants off as others stood on a stool to take your shirt off. "Hey!"

Hearing them whine and rant to you in their native tongue, you sighed. "Fine... I could use a bath..." Watchig as they filled a makeshift tub with water that bubbled up from the contact of soap, they shoved you over and into it, you shivering as your bare skin hit the freezing temperature.

Being washed from head to toe, hair being pulled away from the lazy updo it had been in, they scrubbed away. You felt like you were going to be sparkling from how much they washed you... and you couldn't understand as to why you were letting it happen.

Being pulled out and dried up, with a loose hand-sewn robe, your hair lightly dripped as they measured you. "You're going to dress me up like him, huh..." Hearing their mumbling as they shifted around, you sighed. "Go figure..."

Waiting for what felt like hours, the Care Takers pulling something together for you, they came back and handed you the clothing, chatting away and telling you to change. "Okay..."

Spilling out of the hut, you stood there for a moment, processing it all, only to let out a small breath before changing.

Pulling on the underwear they so kindly made for you, you pulled on the soft dress that hung loosely around your waist and stopped at mid thigh, the top portion looking much like Luke's own ensemble. The sleeves were long and breathable, the material being insanely comfortable and... far better than what you had before.

Eyeing the wraps, you realized it was for your hand, much like your gloves except it only covered your palms and a portion of your wrists.

Looking at the stockings, you pulled them on, seeing they went just above mid calf, all in colors of creame, white and beige. Even the boots they had made them, disregarding everything that you had worn before. You almost felt as if Luke had puked on you. The two of you looked quite similar, all you missed was the robe to put on _—_ in which they had also made you.

Standing there and eyeing yourself _,_ you felt an uneasiness... just like before on Tatooine.

Shutting your eyes, you saw it all over again. A hallway, bright lights. Black, red and white. A voice calling out. _Who are you?_ The urge to follow... the desire to answer your curiosity. But then, you felt a presence, as if someone were behind you, but before you could look, the sound of a knock snapped you right out.

"I'm coming!" Walking over and opening the door, the few Care Takers piled back in, admiring you before one moved to your hair, standing on a stool.

Letting your bangs hang loosely amongst a few twirled wispies and strands, they braided your hair into three sections before making them one whole braid.

Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you looked over and watched as they nodded, grabbing your hand and guiding you out of the hut, mentioning how they'd make more of the same outfit for you. They were proud, very proud of your outcome.

Being guided over to a cliff, where Luke looked as if he were meditating, he sensed your presence. He was floating in midair and your eyes widened.

Lowering himself, he stood and turned, bowing to thank the Care Takers before they rushed off, not giving you a chance to thank them. "So?" You spoke. "I look like you. It's odd."

"It's comfortable."

"It is..."

"Then it should be easy to get used to and maneuver in."

"Why's that?" You questioned.

"These are your robes. What one would call Jedi robes, I suppose ." Luke nodded. "Now, we can begin your training."


	3. Let It Guide You

_The sun._

_The stars._

_The moon._

_The clouds._

_The sky._

_The ocean._

_The land._

"I want you to open your mind to the world around you... to the vastness of the ocean and the height of the land. Let the Force find its way through the water and amongst the grass... Feel it in your mind, body, and soul. Let it flow through you like the air in your lungs."

Sitting before you as he kept his eyes focused on your calmed expression, Luke took in small breaths. "What is it that you see?"

Behind your eyelids, you could see the world. The water crashing against the rock, the fishes swimming against the current... the winds sending waves. "The ocean moving, filled with life... a vast range of blue."

Seeing the sun reflect off of the water. the surface sparkling like diamonds, you continued on. "The light of day..." Seeing the sky mirror the water, the faint clouds filled your view. "The clouds that blind the brightness..."

Seeing the land and the Care Takers amongst the grass swaying, vines growing on the mountainous rock, you took in small breaths. "The life that this planet allows..." Seeing the birds _—_ you had learned to be Progs _—_ fly about, some nesting while others fought for food, you spoke, "The death that helps bring life... The sacrifices that help the living."

Hearing the chirps and feeling the Force surrounding all that lived and inhabited the island and deep ocean, you smiled. "The energy that brings it all together... like the rock that we sit on now, holding us stable to the ground..."

Seeing and feeling it all, you felt at ease. Relaxed. Calm. "This is meditation. And this is harnessing the Force, feeling it, familiarizing it. Becoming one with it." Luke spoke as your eyes slowly opened, only for you to burst out into laughter. "And... apparently becoming one with the life around it."

Eyeing the Porgs that surrounded you, some on your lap, in between your crossed legs, on your knees and shoulders, you lifted your eyes up to see one looking right down at you as it sat on your head. "You connect with the life the Force gives so easily."

"I hadn't even felt them around me... or heard them."

"You were deep into the Force." Luke said. "You are delved into it... far more connected than I thought." Standing from his spot, he turned and walked away.

Standing up as the Porgs flew off, you removed the one from your head and placed it down before you followed Luke, your cloak billowing with the wind and movement of your feet. "How come I didn't float?"

"Eventually." Luke spoke. "For now, you attract Porgs."

Smiling, you looked over to see the same Porg that sat on your head, follow you. "Will we meditate every day?"

"You will meditate when you feel you need to."

"How will I know?" You questioned.

"You will... believe me." Luke nodded as you continued to follow. "We are going to test your abilities with the Force. We are going to see how powerful your mind truly is." Luke said as you nodded.

"Okay." You swallowed, only to feel your stomach drop, seeing Luke make a sudden turn, you nearly flinched as a rock came into your view... floating. "W-what!"

"Fast reflexes." He nodded. "Good."

"Y-you just tossed a rock at me!" You shouted.

"Yes, I did." He shrugged, only to do it again, using the Force to toss it at you as it stopped inches away from you. "And I will keep surprising you until you are able to stop me from even lifting it up from the ground."

"Wonderful..." You breathed, stopping yet another rock.

"I want you to move that." Luke pointed, you looking up and seeing a bolder at the edge of one of the cliffs. "I want you to push it off, but also pull it back." Stopping beside Luke, you deeply inhaled. "Much like the stormtroopers."

Blinking, you eyed the boulder, taking in a deep breath as you reached a hand out. "Reach into the Force, control it, wield it. Breathe as you do."

Nodding, your eyes narrowed as you focused all your energy into the Force. "Breathe, remember to breathe. Do not stress yourself."

Taking in steady breaths, you watched as the boulder trembled, debris falling over the cliff as you tightened your jaw. Watching it shake and hearing the grumbling sound, the boulder lifted and nearly fell over, you gasping and instantly pulling your hand back, sending the boulder to the complete opposite side, over the island and into the water. "Oops..."

"You will learn." Luke nodded, tossing a rock once again as you instantly dodged it, catching in the Force and tossing it back at him as he caught it. "See, you are learning." Dropping the rock, he continued walking.

Taking in deep breaths, feeling yourself already becoming tired with how much Force you were using, Luke stopped over an edge, you moving beside him, looking down at the water and seeing a creature swim by. "The waters are harsh here," Luke said, you eyeing it, seeing the waves crash, only for your attention to be caught by a ship... an X-Wing if you remembered your spacecrafts correctly. "An accidental slip, you fall to your death."

"I think I'm wise enough not to... fall to my death..." You nodded, sucking in your lips.

"Yes, but what if someone else were to fall? Someone you cared for... Or just anyone? What would you do?" Luke asked.

"Try and catch them." You nodded, but Luke shook his head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How would you catch them?" He questioned as you stood silent.

"Uh... I- The Force?" You answered, unsure.

"Is that so?" Asking, you nodded your head.  "I'd like to see you try."

Narrowing your eyebrows, Luke walked over to the edge, jumping. "LUKE!" You shouted, rushing over with your hand extended as if you were reaching for him. Your heart was racing faster than it had ever, your stomach upside down as your blood pumped loudly within your ears.

Looking over and seeing Luke float there, you panted, pulling your hand back and bringing him to land. "Excellent." He answered calmly as you fell back on to the grass, chest heaving and heart racing as you stared up at the clouds.

"You... You're insane. You jumped... You could've died..." You lowly spoke, your face frozen. You were terrified.

"But, I believed you could do it. I had hope." Luke said, walking away. "That's enough for now, I don't need you overdoing it."

Swallowing you sat up and stood, peeking over the edge and seeing the X-Wing before turning and looking at Luke.

"How is it that you got here?" You questioned. "I know you projected yourself to me... that's why I came here alone, and it now makes sense as to why you couldn't physically be there... _"_

"Dropped off." He lied.

"Dropped off? For how long?" You wondered.

"Sometime..."

"Luke..."

Knowing he couldn't lie to you, not when you were the only other human there and... his newfound student, he took in a deep breath. "Years."

"Years..." You blinked as he nodded.

"Yes. But that isn't important. I will show you to where you will be staying." Continuing to walk, you watched him as you stood still. Something wasn't right. Why would a man, a lone Jedi _—_ or once was one—live on an island alone like a castaway? There must've been more to it... and you were curious. As always.

Starting to walk once again, you followed Luke to the collection of stone huts, him guiding you to one. "This will be yours to stay in _,_ mine isn't too far off. I suggest you meditate a little, it'll help calm and relax you. It's always best to before and after your train."

Nodding your head, you reached for the door, but Luke blocked you. "Things will only get harder for you... I need you to keep that in mind. No matter how hard it will get, you will fight through and continue on. You are no failure. I can feel it. I can see it." Looking at him in the eye, Luke bowed his head. "We will get back into your training tomorrow morning."

Watching him move out of the way and leave, you turned. "Luke..." You called, seeing him stop. "Why is it so important to train me? Someone you hardly know?"

"Because, you are strong, and plenty can take advantage of that unless you learn properly." He answered.

"That's not all there is..."

Taking in a deep breath, he spoke, "You give me hope... at least, you keep what I have left in me, going."

Blinking and staring at him, you only lowered your head.

"I won't fail you. I promise." At that, he left, leaving you there, deep in thought.

After eventually going inside of the hut and eyeing it, something that wasn't out of the ordinary but was enough for you, you meditated a bit more. Doing the same exercise as early. Seeing the planet, the island, the ocean and the life. Seeing your environment.

But then, there was more.

The darkness, the deepest parts of the ocean.

The death, the dying grass and carcasses from washed up creatures and sick Porgs.

The emptiness... the loneliness... the hollowness of the barren parts the island held. Quiet and still. Somewhere it felt as if time stopped.

The clouds that blocked the sun, the harsh waves that nearly drowned floating Porgs, the faint cries of baby Porgs after losing themselves in the world around them...

The dark side of nature and it's beauty.

Seeing the world flicker, lightning striking and rain falling hard, you flinched as it all turned black.

Then, you saw it again... the same hall. The bright light. The three colors. Black, red and white. The voice... _Who are you?_ The underlying desire to search to cure your curiosity. The lingering presence that lurked behind you.

Forcing yourself out of it, you only fell harshly on the ground, wincing in pain as you rubbed your lower back.

You had been floating... and you couldn't event feel it... or realize.

But why was the darkness of things there when you were alone?

Why wasn't it there when you had Luke around?

Standing back up and sucking in a breath, you shook the feeling away. It wasn't all that to worry about... there is always darkness in everything. Even in the light. The world wasn't just black and white, after all.


	4. A Void of Color

_Stuck on an island..._

_Learning things you already know..._

_What good is it for you?_

Sitting in complete silence, hearing a voice echo in your head, a sudden knock had caught your attention. And, without realizing it, you aimed your blaster.

_You are meant for more..._

Blinking, you shook your head. "Y/N, I made food." Luke spoke on the other side of the steel door, making you stand up.

"Okay..." You answered, lowering the blaster and placing it on the makeshift 'bed' you had sat on.

Rubbing your face and sucking in your breath, you walked outside and hadn't realized the sun had been setting.

Not seeing Luke, you only heard fire crackling and the smoke lifting into the sky, the brightness of it guiding you as you followed its direction.

Rolling your neck and stretching out your arms, you saw Luke come into view... as well as a rock. "Is this going to be a spontaneous thing?" You asked, tossing the rock to a side.

"Yes, like I said, improving your skills. The more you train, the better and quicker you become." Luke waved a hand as he spoke. "Maybe, in time, you can grab a rock and toss it at me before I can even lift one."

Letting out a small huff of a laugh, you joined him and sat on a log, Luke handing you a stick that had a fish on it. "What is it?"

"Fish." Luke answered before biting into it, ripping it apart with its teeth as your eyebrows lifted.

"I'm well aware of fish... Never mind." You shook your head, eyeing it before biting into it. At this point you were starving and you'd eat nearly anything... Except the Porg. In which the same one was now sitting beside you, as if it recognized you.

Eating away at the fish, finishing it faster than you expected, Luke handed you a bottle. "And this is?"

"Milk from a Thala Siren, native to Ahch-To. Try it." Luke nodded, you narrowing your eyebrows before taking a sip, only to cough.

"It's-"

"Thick but nutritious. Get used to it cause it's all you can drink." He said, patting your shoulder before taking the bottle away, chugging it.

Watching him drink it casually, you hadn't realized it was green until you saw the content seep from the bottle. You were only used to blue milk...

Sitting in a comfortable silence, hearing the fire crack and the ocean water crash onto the island from bellow, you held your cloak tightly to your body with the drop in temperature. You wondered as to how long Luke truly lived on that island and why... What was it that drove him there?

It was clear that it was a lonely island, living amongst birds and creatures that you could hardly communicate with. You only wondered how things went on in his mind... Which made you curious, you've read into other people's minds but they felt it... What if there was a way to let his thoughts seep into your own?

And then you wondered... could he hear yours?

"You want to know something." Luke spoke, breaking the silence. "You're curious... Very curious..."

Looking over at him, you bit your inner cheek. "It's a bad habit..."

"Curiosity can be good, as well as bad. It depends on how you use it. You are curious in many ways. Curious about the Force... Curious about me."

"Of course... I hardly know you. I only know that you were... are a legend that many look up to. Yet, I don't understand as to how or why you are here? Alone on an island... like a hermit."

Letting out a small breath, Luke lowered the bottle. "Well, if I want there to be trust between us, I must be truthful." Nodding your head, he continued. "I put myself in exile."

"Exile?" Your eyebrows narrowed.

"Yes... I had dealt with something troubling. Something I could've prevented... stopped... if I had tried harder."

Blinking, you took in a small breath. "What happened?" You lowly spoke.

"I was a Jedi Master... I took in twelve pupils who were strong with the Force, some much more skilled... one insanely powerful." He began. "I took them under my wing, trained them, taught them the Jedi way... the lightside of the Force. I thought I was doing what was right, bringing back more light into the galaxy, increasing the numbers in Jedi once again... but I was wrong. The Jedi were never meant to come back."

Narrowing your eyebrows, your mouth fell open. "Wh-" Stopping yourself, you closed your mouth.

"The Sith are extinct... and the Jedi were meant to be, too."

"But, the Jedi-"

"In order to have one, you must have the other. A balance." Luke explained. "We don't need Jedi, we need those who understand the importance of a balance. Those who understand how much the light is needed as is the dark. A balance. To have one, you need the other... and the light is dwindling. Flickering, and that inkling of hope is fading. And we can not lose hope. Without hope, there is no light."

"And we need the light, or else, this galaxy will be in the darkness. An imbalance in the Force can bring much difficulty and pain." He continued.

"Is that why I'm here?" You asked, slowly, low.

"Yes." He truthfully answered. "You could help restore the light like I did... you can help bring forth the balance the galaxy needs. And you won't be alone."

Looking down at your hands, you then spoke again. "But why... why are you here? What brought you to Ahch-To?" You asked, lifting your head and looking him in the eyes.

"A boy... one of the students. He had an imbalance in him. A strong one. It was wavering, the light was fading. And I knew this... but I didn't try hard enough. I feared it was too late." He spoke, eyes leaving yours, turning to the fire as he sighed. "I felt as if I couldn't do anything... as if I failed him and myself for the actions I would've taken to free them. Failed either of us for not being fast enough... I failed him, myself, and the galaxy."

Shaking your head, you stood up. "But you said there's always hope, right? There's a balance to restore, and that's why I'm here, correct?"

"Yes, but, you have a while to go."

"So we train, endlessly. And then we go out there and fight."

Shaking his head with a small laugh, Luke rubbed his face. "You are too new to this. It's only been a day. You don't know what's going on out there. What they're capable of. What they can do."

Moving to sit beside him, you placed a hand on his shoulder. "I've been running all my life, from planet to planet, trying to survive. I have seen things many haven't. Death... decay... darkness. Life... hope... light. I've seen it all. Maybe not in ways you have, but I know what the galaxy is capable of. I may not know what's going on out there-" Pointing up, you continued "but I know I can do something. I have abilities that not many have... I've been blessed. It's the only reason why I've survived for so long."

Eyeing you and feeling the hope flow through you like the Force, itself, Luke took in a deep breath. "I admire the hope within you, reminds me of someone I know." He nodded. "It'll take time... it's been so long. You have so much to learn, to practice. You get too lightheaded easily, you have no control when you think you do."

"So, I will learn." You nodded your head. "I will do what it takes. I've had these abilities for as long as I can remember and I only had myself to teach me... no one else. And you found me... you can help me."

"You have much to learn." Luke said, patting your knee before standing. "For now, rest. We will start early in the morning."

Nodding your head once again, your hand instantly reached out as you watched a rock levitate from the ground. "I'm learning." You said, dropping the rock that Luke tried lifting to toss at you.

"So you are." At that, Luke left your side.

Turning your focus back to the fire, you took in a deep breath, feeling the warmth encase you. "The Force..." You mumbled before standing, aiming back to the hut you now claimed as your own.

Pushing the door open and walking in, you removed your robe and hung it, unstrapping the boots and placing them to a side before undoing your hair and lying on the cot. Staring at the ceiling, you took in a deep breath.

You were so used to running, not knowing where you belonged, jumping from planet to planet in hopes to survive.

Your abilities were your only hope, they saved you endless of times. By now, you would've been killed a good hundred times... if not, more.

But now, now Luke had found you and took you in... and you so easily accepted it.

Why?

You lacked companionship, friendship, someone to talk to... To confine in. You were so desperate, yet, you were fine. With all the running you did, you were too busy to worry about loneliness. But now, now as you lied there and the hard cot, gazing up in the darkness, consumed by the sounds of the winds and ocean... you felt it. The loneliness. It creeped.

And you knew very well Luke felt it, too.

And not yours, but his own.

"Jedi Master..." You mumbled, turning to your side. "Who turned against you and made you this way?" You spoke into the void before shutting your eyes, letting the sleep consume you whole like a blanket.

_Raw... untamed strength._

_Strong... stronger than anyone before._

_An unstoppable force..._

_You are meant for more than a lone island in the middle of nowhere..._

_Meant for power, strength... To rule._

Hearing the voice as you stood in a world void of color, you heard water dripping.

_My child... you are strong._

_Stronger than you believe._

_Stronger than he tells you..._

_You... deserve more than that island._

Hearing voices echo from behind you, the water dripping fading away as something inaudible whispered, you slowly turned.

_Let it find you..._

_Let it flow through you..._

_Look._

Turning and seeing walls of red, a black strip way lead you. A part of you didn't want to follow, wanting nothing more but to take a step back... to not move, but your curiosity... it was so strong.

_Follow it._

Feeling your heartbeat race as your eyebrows furrowed, something pulled at you, making you walk. Step by step, bringing you closer and closer. You couldn't stop.

_Let it guide you._

_Go!_

Jumping awake, you panted, eyes burning with tears. You felt lost, trapped, afraid. You couldn't do anything, you were somewhere... but nowhere.

Sitting there and hearing rain fall from outside, you swallowed.

Where were you truly meant to be?


	5. The X-Wing

Standing in the rain, hearing the pitter-patter as you overlooked the vast ocean that roared and crashed into the island, you blinked away the water from your eyes as your hood covered your hair.

Shutting your eyes and reaching into the Force, seeing the ocean and the depth of it, you extended your arm out.

You felt it. The Force flowing through you... strong as ever. Overpowering. Pulling through it, reaching and holding, you heard water flowing... falling back into the ocean.

Pulling your fist back, your eyes opened at the sight before you. The deterioration X-Wing.

Blinking, you took a few steps back as it landed on the terrain before you. "Unbelievable..." You breathed, walking closer to it, seeing fish flop out, sea plants hanging and sticking to it.

"Powerful... are you. Lifted the X-Wing on your first try... you have." Furrowing your eyebrows, you turned. A figure, glowing in blue, spoke to you. "Impressive!"

"Wh-who are you?" You questioned, watching them walk closer with a makeshift cane.

"That is of no importance... what is, is you." They poked their stick, aiming it towards you. "An imbalance in you... I feel. A strong one that is."

"H-"

"I know the Force... I am the Force."

"You're the... Force? You're pretty small to be the Force..." You lifted an eyebrow, only for them to laugh.

"Yoda, I am. Student, you are. Learner... but afraid. You fear something greater. I sense it."

"I..." Closing your mouth, you took in a deep breath. "I don't know what it is..."

"You do. You do." He nodded. "Finding your place in this, you are. Only you know... where you belong. No one else."

"But I don't..." You said, shaking your head. "All of this... is brand new to me. I feel it all. I feel everything... but nothing."

"The Force. It is everywhere. Mysterious. But, you learn... learn to understand what it wants. What you need. Where you are meant to be, the Force will lead you. In do time."

Looking down at Yoda, you swallowed. "You are lost but... find yourself, you will. Believe me. Believe in the Force. Listen. Look."

Looking over at the X-Wing, you took in a deep breath. "You know what you must do... Follow that path." Shutting your eyes and feeling the rain, hearing the ocean and the distant Porgs, you reopened them. Looking to your left, you saw Yoda had gone.

" _Much to learn about yourself and the Force, you have_." Looking up at the night sky and feeling the rain pat against your skin, you lowered your head and walked away. So much help from the frog man.

The next morning had come swiftly, dusting away the late night showers and bringing in bright rays of sunshine.  Luke had found himself standing in front of the damaged and deteriorating X-Wing. _His_ X-Wing.

You had done it. But how many tries? He couldn't help but think about his training on Dagobah... how he failed countless of times.

Luke only wondered as to how strong you truly were with the Force.

Could you manipulate others? Use mind control? Stop a battlecruiser on your own? He only imagined...

He was powerful, he knew this all very well... but how powerful were _you_?

Luke felt as if you were far stronger than he could ever be... and that's what had him worried. He had seen this before and he did not want a repeat.

Hearing footsteps and feeling the shift in the Force, Luke took in a deep breath. "How many tries?"

"One." You answered, eyeing the man who stood before the X-Wing.

"Impressive." He nodded once, eyeing the ship. "It took me multiple times to lift an X-Wing from a swamp... but to lift it from the ocean up to a cliff? Under one try? It's admirable."

Lightly smiling, you crossed one hand over the other. "May I ask as to what happened?"

"Crash landed." He simply answered. "Too late to save it."

"Oh..." You breathed as Luke turned around.

"Why did you do this? Bring it out." He questioned as you took in a deep breath.

"I wanted to give it a try... even if the ship is far gone and no longer able to repair. I had to give it a shot." You explained.

"When?"

"Last night..." You truthful answered. "Hard to sleep. You'd think a person who's always in different beds and rooms from day to day... it wouldn't be so hard." Lightly chuckling, you looked down.

"That isn't the case... now, is it?" Luke asked as he turned.

Taking in a deep breath, you looked at him. "No..."

"You deal with things... See things... Hear things you wish you hadn't. The more you train with the Force, the more prone... The more exposed you are to these sort of matters." Luke said as he walked over to you. "Eventually, you will learn to control your thoughts, too.

"What will we do today?" You curiously asked.

"We train with the Force." He answered. "You must learn control before you continue on."

Nodding your head, you followed beside Luke, only to stop in your tracks as you prevented a rock from lifting. "I'm catching on." You spoke as Luke smirked.

"Good... but what if there were multiple?" Seeing another rock fly your way, you gasped and ducked. "Don't expect there to always be just one."

"Yeah..." You breathed, standing back up straight.

Finding yourself spending the day... and the next few days, as how your first day went, a good five days had passed you by. Still seeing the same images behind your eyelids, seeing the same visions in your dreams... still hearing that voice in the void.

And it was only becoming more and more prominent as time progressed.

"What an interesting life you have, following someone around." You spoke over to the friendly Porg that followed you around, now sitting beside you on a rock as you eyed the ocean, taking a small break from training. "Is it all that fun?"

Seeing the look in their big eyes, only seeing your reflection, you felt as if you had been asking yourself that rather than the animal. "Is it..." You softly mumbled to yourself, looking down. Five days of the same routine. Something you weren't used to. Your life was very spontaneous... not uniformed.

_This isn't how it should be..._

_This isn't the proper way for you to learn..._

Blinking, you turned your attention towards the ocean, taking in a deep breath as you shut your eyes for a moment.

_"_ **_BEN!_ ** _"_

Jumping at the voice, eyes shooting open, as if they had shouted in your ear, you searched your surroundings as you instantly stood up. "Ben..." Your eyebrows narrowed, only to hear Luke call out to you. "Coming!"

Walking away from the rock, towards the sound of where Luke's voice came from, you saw him standing there with his back facing you. "Your Force training is improving swiftly. Although some flaws, you still have plenty to learn." He said as you stood there. "Like multitasking."

"Multitasking?" You questioned.

"Yes. Using a lightsaber and the Force." Turning around, now facing you, your heart skipped a beat.

"Lightsaber..." You mumbled, eyes widening at what had been in his palm. "Is that..." Eyeing the silver object, your breath hitched.

"I think it's time. We don't have much time to waste or use up in learning the basics. You're good with a blaster... what about staffs?" Luke questioned as you walked closer to him.

"Pretty good, I'll admit. I usually make anything into a weapon if I'm not trying to make who I am obvious..." You nodded.

"Then, we shall began lightsaber training." Reaching his arm out, he held the weapon in his hold before loosening up his fingers. "This will be yours to use." Eyeing the silver hilt, you swallowed. "You will put it to good use."


	6. Flash Step

Hearing a humming in your ears, a tugging at your chest, a pull within the Force, you reached your hand out and allowed it to hover over the hilt.

For a moment, you were so eager—so desperate to just grab it—but now you felt your heart racing. As if you shouldn't. As if your heart was warning you not to even if the Force wanted you to.

Watching as you hesitantly reached over, Luke sucked in a breath. "Take it."

Clutching onto it, a surge of energy shot through you. The Force. A voice echoed on your head. Then, a sudden connection.

Looking down at it, moving it around in your hold, you activated it. The hum that filled your mind and the blue beam that had your focus set on it. It was beautiful. Although the hilt was quite heavy... it was still one of a kind.

"Will it be mine?" You asked, moving it around, carefully waving and twirling it.

"If it feels right. If you feel a connection to it... if it suits you well when you battle." Luke said, watching you, unhooking his lightsaber and activating it, the sound and the green light caught your attention.

"Is that yours?" You asked as he nodded.

"Yes." At that, he lunged at you, you quickly blocking.

Swinging the lightsaber from side to side, sliding across the ground, quick to move on your feet as to not stand in one spot, you moved around the field of green against Luke.

With every attack he had, you had a counter. Of course, you weren't exactly that great, but you were doing far better than you had hoped.

Raising your lightsaber to block his own, you then lowered it to move his away. Anything to prevent it from touching you. Or even breathing on your skin or attire.

"Good! You are quick on your feet!" Luke called out, constantly moving, getting any and every opened spot of your own. "Are you ready?"

"For what?" Regretting the question, you saw the look in Luke's eyes. The determination, the passion... the goal. He was going to try anything and everything to break you.

"Agh." You grunted, teeth clenched as you tried to move as fast as you could, but your body was becoming exhausted. You were putting forth too much energy and pressure. You would soon overdo it.

"You can not give up nor give in. You can not let the enemy have the upper hand or your throat. You must be quick. Precise. Fast enough. Lightsabers are one of the greatest weapons to own... and to fight against."

Taking in heavy breaths, trying to avoid hits, you were slowly become sloppy as your arms ached. "Tired? Already? Impossible. I'm just getting started."

Gritting your teeth and groaning, you watched as his quick motions suddenly morphed into one, your heart racing loudly as the world around you blurred enough for you to focus on Luke.

Holding tightly onto the lightsaber, watching his crash against it, your foot shifted against the grass. Just about to lunge, you instantly found yourself standing behind him within seconds.

Although the two of you were too caught up in the moment, Luke couldn't help but realize what you had done. The swift movements, the quick appearance and disappearance... the reappearance... "Flash step." Luke spoke, quick to turn, pressing his lightsaber against your own. "Another ability for you..."

"Seems... so...." Shoving his lightsaber back, you huffed. "I'm coming to appreciate it." Pressing harder and harder, making him step back slowly, you swung your arm and instantly disarmed him. "Flash step..." You nodded, Luke's lightsaber now lying on the ground.

"Let's see how fast you truly are." Reaching his hand out, lightsaber flying back into it, Luke activated it before aiming for you. This time around, you were more pumped than anything no thanks to the new ability.

You definitely were going to take advantage of this one.

Moving quickly, using the environment around you as an advantage, you twirled your lightsaber in your grip, spinning yourself around and swiftly moving your arms. You were enjoying this more than you expected to. You never expected to find something better than a blaster...

"Remember... what I told you." Luke grunted as your lightsabers collided, the green and blue beams vibrating against one another. "Multitasking!"

Seeing him reach his hand out and pull back, a collection of rocks came your way, you quickly ducking and slicing through before Luke stormed towards you.

Slamming your lightsaber against his own, he sent more rocks your way, you cutting through them.

Running around, blocking each others moves, he gathered more and more rocks, aiming them your way as you deflected. But this time, this time you stopped them in mid air and aimed them back to him with a smirk.

"Nice try, kid." He smirked back. "But don't get too cocky." Feeling your grin drop as he tossed the rocks right back at you, you instantly jumped up... higher than you had ever.

Feeling your heart race, you instantly landed on one of the floating rocks, Luke's eyes widening. You were discovering more and more abilities in such a short period of time.

Watching Luke follow after you, the two of you jumped from rock to rock, nearly forcing the other to fall.

Forcing his lightsaber against your own as you stood on the edge, you looked over to see the cliff, harsh waters crashing against the rocks.

Gritting your teeth, feeling the Force move through you, you yelled as you pushed back, slicing your lightsaber and sending Luke off of the rock.

Gasping, you rushed forward, only to see he landed on his feet on the rock bellow you, catching his breath. "Hmph..." He breathed, looking up at you before he jumped back up, the two of you fighting for what felt like hours.

You weren't going to give up no matter how much your body ached.

Moving from rock to rock, you swung your lightsaber with a twirl before knocking his own right out of his hand and far from his reach. Crashing onto the rocks and bouncing off them, the metal hilt collided with the grass before you snapped your head back and aimed the tip of your lightsaber towards his neck.

"It's safe to say you win..." Luke exhaled, panting, working up a sweat that he hadn't in so long. He hasn't fought like this with anyone since-

"That was... fun." You nodded, lowering your lightsaber and deactivating it.

Turning and jumping down, easily landing on your feet, you eyed the lightsaber in your hold. There was something about it but you couldn't tell what...

"The Jedi and Sith made their own lightsabers by a special gem called Kyber Crystal." Luke explained, now behind you. "It powers the lightsaber and gives it its energy."

"Did you make your own?" You questioned as you turned to face him.

"Yes... I was lucky to. Kyber Crystals are extremely hard to find." Luke nodded, eyeing his own lightsaber. "I made mine on Tatooine. Most use the Force, but I did it by hand." He said.

"Where can you find the crystals?" You asked with curiosity. If you were to be a Force user, maybe you'd make your own lightsaber some day.

"In the deepest parts of caves... They're not everywhere, only you know where it is. It calls to you." Seeing you nod, Luke looked down at the lightsaber in your hold.

"Was that how this one came to be? Was it yours?"

"No." He shook his head as he moved over to one of the rocks that had lowered. "It belonged to someone else."

Following him, you sat beside him on the rock. "Whose?"


	7. It Was His

_That is your crystal, it called to you, it's yours to keep. It's a part of you... It's a piece of you._

_From here, you build your lightsaber._

_A weapon that'll be yours and only yours forever._

_To keep by your side._

_To keep you safe._

_To keep others safe._

_You will use it for good, in ways a Jedi is supposed to._

_Remember that._

"A young boy... by the name of Ben Solo." Luke breathed, keeping his eyes locked on the lightsaber, remembering how it was first built. "It was his."

"Ben Solo..." You softly repeated.

"He built it from scratch, found the crystal that called to him and kept this at his side. He was magnificent with it. Much like you are." Luke lightly smiled.

"It's lovely." You said, eyeing it as it sat on your lap.

"It's yours."

"Mine?" You looked up. "But what if-"

"He won't be coming back for it." Luke shook his head as you blinked.

"Why? Isn't this the weapon of a Jedi... a Force user? Shouldn't he have it?" You questioned with a tilt of your head.

"He abandoned it." He truthfully spoke. There was no need to lie or beat around the bush.

"Abandoned... How could someone abandon their own lightsaber?" You asked.

"It wasn't meant for him." He sighed.

"Oh..."

"But, it is meant for you. It suits you. It works well in your grip. Anyone can wield a lightsaber, but not everyone can use it gracefully like you have." Luke said as you slowly nodded. "It's yours now to keep. It's previous life... It's nothing but a memory to it. A faint image. You now give it life. You wield it. Guide it. Keep it close and never far."

"Can I name it?"

Instantly looking up at you with a glare, your shoulders dropped. "No, you do not name your lightsaber. It is not a pet."

"Well, I'm still naming it." You shrugged as Luke shook his head, rubbing his face.

"I have one of the most powerful Force users before me... and she is a child."

" _You were a child, once_."

"What was that?" Your eyebrows narrowed.

"Yes... but not like this."

Blinking, you looked around. "Was that... Yoda?" You questioned, Luke's head snapping up. "It doesn't sound like him..."

"How do you know about Master Yoda?" Luke questioned.

Taking in a deep breath, you rubbed the back of your neck. "He came to me... a few nights ago. The first night. When I lifted the X-Wing." You explained. "What-what is he? Why is he blue? How did he disappear? Does he have flash step?"

"No." Luke breathed. "He's a Force ghost."

"Force ghost..." You repeated, eyebrows lifting.

"A Force user has the ability to interact with the living once they pass away. It is the soul and essence of said person. They become one with the Force. Fully. They could linger amongst, not as physical being, but as a spirit. A Force spirit. They are able to interact but to a certain extent. There are plenty of Force ghosts that lurk about this island... Don't be surprise if you run into any more."

Lifting your eyebrows again, Luke stood up and walked away. "Master Yoda, as you said, is a Force ghost?"

"Yes. And a strong one. I suggest you not upset him." He warned as your lips parted, only to close.

"I wasn't planning on doing so..." Standing up and placing your lightsaber on to the belt that the Care Takers had made for you, you followed Luke.

"Training is done with for the day. You may retire for the evening. I will let you know when dinner is ready." He said as you bowed your head, walking away.

Aiming for your hut, you walked in and removed your robe, pulling the lightsaber down and placing it in front of you as you sat on the cot. "Ben Solo..." You muttered to yourself, eyeing the lightsaber. "Who were you... Why would you abandon such beauty... Where are you..."

Swallowing, you took in a deep breath and reached over to the lightsaber hilt, holding it in both hands as you shut your eyes. Reaching into the Force, somehow connecting yourself to the lightsaber, your mind was thrusted into a world of memories.

It was faint, and fuzzy, but you could see them as if you were actually in them.

"Now that you've built your own lightsaber, are you ready to use it?" Eyeing the man who spoke, you recognized it to be a young Luke.

"Yes, Master Luke." The young boy in front of him, easily seven or eight years old, nodded his head. The dark curls that sat on his head flowing with his movements. "More than ever."

"Good." Luke smiled, standing up straight from being on one knee. "You are the first one amongst everyone else to achieve it... I say that's impressive." He winked as the little boy giggled. "Let's start you off with simple training. Blocking blaster fires."

Seeing the image fade away, you opened your eyes and eyed the hilt. "A young boy?" You questioned. It was a young boy's? Or were you not seeing the whole picture?

Placing the lightsaber back down, you stood up and looked through the small hole of a window of the hut, up at the stars. "Where are you now, Ben Solo?"

Standing at the viewpoint the Finalizer had to offer, arms crossed behind himself as he took in small breaths, Kylo Ren looked out at the stars. Something he couldn't do often... but something he tried doing on occasion. It was the only thing that kept him at bay. Looking out at the open space.

It was calming, the vastness of black filled with twinkling lights... it was so simple yet so appealing. He couldn't seem to understand as to why it always attracted him.

_Where are you, Ben Solo?_

Blinking from within his helmet, the sound of a soft voice echoing in his head and in the Force, Kylo searched the stars through his visor. It felt hauntingly close... yet, so far away.

Had it been his mother?

Had it been his father?

Had it been his uncle?

It didn't seem so, it didn't feel like it. He knew their Forces. He knew who they were...

This... This felt different. Unfamiliar... Distant... _Curious_.

Letting out a small breath, he turned away from the viewpoint and aimed back to the command room, dealing with more important matters _—_ finding the map that lead to Luke Skywalker. Finding Lor San Tekka.

Lowering your eyes from the stars, you let out a small breath in defeat. You were so curious as to who this person was... Where they went and what happened to them.

With the sound of Luke's voice whenever he mentioned the boy's name, you knew he must've been important. At least, to Luke he was.

Who was Ben Solo and why did he leave his lightsaber behind? What caused him to disappear?

Had he gone into exile? Was he doing what Luke was doing?

For all you know, this Ben Solo person was a lot older than you believed him to be. Possibly a lot older than you.

Turning back to face the lightsaber, you sat beside it and huffed. "Why am I so worked up on your previous owner? I should keep in mind that you are mine now, right? Who cares about Ben Solo..." You muttered, shaking your head. "He's no one now, anyway."

Reaching over and grabbing the lightsaber, a shock was sent through you, the sound of voices screaming in terror filling within you. You could hear it like you heard the ocean roaring. They were in pain... They were hurting. They were horrified.

Quickly letting go of the lightsaber, you hadn't realized you had been panting.

"What in the galaxy..." Now standing and looking down at the lightsaber, you tried catching your breath.

Carefully reaching over, your finger tips trembled, brushing against the metal before you picked it up.

Nothing was felt that time around... or any time after.

Had it been the Force?

Was it trying to tell you something?

Who was Ben Solo, really?


	8. An Old Friend

"So this is what it feels like to sit at an awkward dinner..." You spoke up, eating your fish on a stick as you sat on a log. "Except... with Force ghosts."

"It isn't all that awkward." Luke shook his head, drinking from his bottle of green milk—something you still hadn't adapted to.

"It kind of is..."

"Hear you, we can." Yoda spoke, sitting in front of you.

"It isn't always that you get to sit around the fire with your Padawan and Master... although I do have two of each." The man beside Yoda spoke. Quite young, well maintained hair and beard. In Jedi robes. You were informed him to be a man named Obi Wan Kenobi. A Jedi Master.

"Padawan?" You questioned. "Am I considered one?" You looked over at Luke.

"Well... not entirely. You're more of just a student than anything. Padawan is a term for those training to be a Jedi." He explained. "As for myself, I am a Master."

"Of course." You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

"I like her wit." Obi Wan Kenobi spoke. "Reminds me of a certain Padawan I once knew who became a fine Force user herself. Although... a sad turn for her. But she realized just how... corrupted both sides were."

"Who, if I may ask?" You looked over at Obi Wan.

"Of course you may..." He nodded, stroking his beard. "Her name was Ahsoka Tano. One of the finest... brightest of her time. The Padawan to my own. She was a commander of the Grand Army of the Republic... as well as a Rebel Alliance spymaster when the galaxy took its dark turn."

"She fought alongside me in the Clone Wars—a story for another day—a well rounded warrior. Strong with the Force. Very strong. But... she was hardheaded. For good reasons. She saw the corruption, what was wrong with the Jedi as well as the Sith. She was frustrated with the Jedi Council after what they had done to her and she disappeared..."

"But, eventually, she was found again. She helped the Rebel Alliance, although still hidden, she had faith in restoring the galaxy." Obi Wan explained. "She saw the good in the bad and the bad in the good. She saw what was wrong from both ends. But she knew what was right. And what was right was keeping peace in the galaxy, restoring a balance.  Preventing anymore disaster."

"Yet, here we are... and history repeats itself." He breathed.

"Where is she now?" You questioned.

"I'm sure she is long gone. It's been quite some time... Or, she could still very much be around but hidden. In the time you two now live in... Force users are better off hidden. Especially those who side with the light." Obi Wan sighed. "Especially with the First Order's biggest pawn and weapon."

Looking over at Obi Wan, you noticed the look on Luke's face at that. The shift in his Force... the sudden uneasiness. "Thank you... for telling me. She seems very much admirable. I wish I could meet her." You nodded, Luke's eyes shifting over to you.

"There are plenty admirable people who stood with the Rebel Alliance. And you are sitting right next to one." Obi Wan gestured over to Luke as Luke held his head low. "One of the greatest Rebels there was..."

"Thank you..." Luke lowly spoke with a small nod. Something was of matter to him. Something was wrong. It was obvious, and he couldn't hide it. His emotions oozed off of him for you to see. And you felt it in the Force.

"Leave you two be, we will." Yoda spoke before either him and Obi Wan bowed their heads, disappearing.

"Master Luke..." You spoke. "Something's wrong... What is it?" You asked, in hopes he'd open up to you.

"Just... reminiscing." He said, although not a lie, it wasn't the whole truth.

"About your past?" Seeing him nod, you took in a small breath. "I tend to do that at times... think about my own past. A rocky one, but, I'm still here." You said. "No matter how hard it gets... I never seem to give up. I don't have it in me."

"A good quality." Luke nodded. "But a bad one, too. Sometimes you need to know when to stop..."

"Yeah... I've had decent amount of situations where... I couldn't tell when to even stop." You swallowed. "I'd say... that's the worst trait of mine... aside my curiosity."

"Your curiosity is your driving force. I can tell." Luke said. "You are very curious about me... without a doubt. That's the only thing I can sense from you so easily. Everything else... you keep hidden so well. It was a surprise that I even found you... let alone, sensed you. I'm sure it's been years since you've known about your abilities."

"Yes... I guess I'm just so cautious and careful. I never wanted to be captured or killed, its enough that it's only me in this lifetime. I have no family or friends to protect..." You sighed. "The Force was all I had..."

"The Force is surely on your side. I can tell. I've never seen it be so... kind to anyone. No one, actually. You, on the other hand. You are one of a kind... the Force favors you the most." Luke nodded.

Looking away, you eyed the fire before you. Your mind couldn't help but revert back to Ben Solo. It was a thought that was corrupting your mind. "May I ask you something?" Turning your head, Luke nodded.

"Yes, of course."

"Before you went into exile... before all of this... were you alone?"

Looking at you, into your eyes, Luke swallowed. "No."

"Oh..." You nodded your head once.

"I had my twin sister... my two greatest best friends... a pair of droids... a good ol' walking carpet..."

"Walking carpet?" You chuckled.

"Yeah, a Wookiee... big, hair guy. A great friend." He smiled. "I also had... a nephew." He hesitated, you catching this. "A nephew I held close and dear... A nephew I had put all my hopes into and believed in..." Luke continued as his voice faltered. "But, now they're all gone."

"Did they... die?" You wondered but he shook his head.

"No... but I'm sure they think I have." He sighed.

"Why don't you search for them?" You asked but he shook his head.

"I can't... I can't go back... Not after everything. I want to make things right... to help. But, from afar. That's why I have you." Luke said. "I'm too old to do things on my own, to fight hordes of enemies like I once was able to. To save the galaxy once again... I know I can help, but I can't do it all by myself. And I fear they want that. They want the old me... The man that has been lost in the deepest part of the ocean."

"Wouldn't they understand? Your family... shouldn't they know you best?"

"Yes... but, in these times... I'm afraid not." He shook his head.

"Yet... you expect a nobody to do justice? I hardly know anything that is going on... I hardly even know you, Luke."

"But, you put your trust in me. Haven't you?" Swallowing, you nodded. "You have faith and you believe. You want to do something good, you're tired of running and hiding. And this is your chance."

Eyeing him, you took in a small breath. "But... I can't possibly do it alone."

"You won't be alone. The Resistance... they will help. They need you." He said as you looked over. "The galaxy needs you."

Biting your inner cheek, you rubbed your eyes with the heels of your palms. "I may be what you need... but you are what _they_ need." Standing up, you walked away from the fire, leaving Luke to be.

_He is but using you._

_He no longer can fight his own battles._

_He is using as a pawn._

_He is deceiving you._

_If he so badly wants to save the galaxy... he should do it himself._

_You are not someone's sword._

_You are your own._

_And you will do what you know is right._

Shutting your eyes for a moment, hearing the voice, you took in a deep breath.

It was nothing... or so you liked to convince yourself that.

And you kept it at that.

Nothing.


	9. Ben Solo

_You are not alone..._

_You never were..._

_No matter how empty you feel..._

_Or how distant from the world around you seem to be..._

_You are not alone._

_There is always something there... someone there._

_Watching._

_Waiting._

_Preying._

_Using._

_Manipulating_.

Standing in the darkness, surrounded by nothing but emptiness... a void of space, you felt yourself tremble. The world around you echoed with faint cries, haunting you.

The chills ran down your spine. Your blood ran cold. It was anything but welcoming. It was terrifying.

Feeling your body shiver as you heard eerie echoes, you slowly turned around. Going against your own will. Wanting nothing more than to escape.

Red walls aligned beside you, a long, dark pathway was now beneath your feet... guiding you.

_Who are you?_

_This isn't what you were meant to be._

_Let it flow through you._

_Who are you?_

_You were meant for more..._

_Let it guide you._

_Who are you?_

_You are not meant for this wretched life._

_Let it become one with you._

**_Who are you?_ **

Hearing the voices become louder and louder, you clutched your ears as you shut your eyes, tears spilling and sliding down your cheek, into the ground beneath you with a loud _plop!,_ sending a rippling effect around you.

Everything, time and space, slowly disappeared. The red walls surrounding you turning into puffs of air as the path way now blended into the ground, black all around you, the darkness consuming you.

**_Don't let it control you_ ** _._

_Don't let it fool you._

**_Don't cave in._ **

_Don't fight against it._

**_Don't fall through._ **

_Don't hang on_.

Taking in deep breaths as your feet were becoming consumed by the black, it coming to life, absorbing you within it, you panicked. You couldn't scream, you couldn't run. You were stuck. The black was crawling up your skin, bleeding into you and becoming part of you, like an exoskeleton. Like second skin. And you were terrified.

Unable to stop it as it was just about read to swallow you whole, you shot up awake, not realizing that you now had the lightsaber in your hold. You don't remember sleeping with it...

Placing it to a side, you rubbed your face as your heart raced, only to feel the wetness in your cheeks. Looking down at your hands, expecting to see the tears, you only saw black.

Gasping, you shut your eyes, reopening them and seeing nothing.

Whatever it was... it was seeping into your reality and you were afraid that you were losing control.

Kicking your legs over the cot, you slouched as your forearms rested against your thighs, the beam of the early morning sun seeping into the hut and letting you know that your day had begun.

It had begun... and in a very dark way.

Changing into your, what you liked to call, Jedi _—_ or, at least light side—robes, you turned and eyed the lightsaber you now called yours. There was something about it... something more to it. It was waking up something inside you that you weren't sure whether or not it was good or bad.

Maybe that's why the previous owner had abandoned it... maybe it brought something terrifying with it.

"Ben Solo..." You mumbled _,_ wishing you could learn more about the person. But... how? Would Luke be willing to tell you? You had hoped in due time he would...

Extending your arm out and aiming your palm towards the hilt, you focused the Force on it as it instantly flew into your hand. With all these new abilities, you definitely wouldn't have to be on the run anymore.

Turning away and exiting the hut, this was how your mornings had begun for the next week or so. Same nightmare, same position you had woken up with the lightsaber in hand... same beam of light entering your hut. You couldn't help but wonder if it was a sign or not. Maybe the Force was trying to communicate with you.

Whether it was or wasn't, you were becoming impatient. Far past impatient. As the days had passed you by, you grew eager. Itchy... Antsy. And you couldn't tell as to why... There was a change in you and you could feel it.

"Who is Ben Solo?" You spoke assertively, seeing Luke in your line of vision. "Who is he? Who is Ben Solo and why does he seem so important to you? Who is this person and why did he disappear? Where is he? What happened? Where is Ben Solo? _"_ You questioned, aggravation getting the best of you. "Who is Ben Solo?!"

Turning to look at you, knowing very well this was bound to happen soon enough, Luke took in a deep breath.

"I have every right to know who the past owner of _this_ was," You extended out your arm, the lightsaber hilt in your hand. "Tell me, Master Luke."

"My nephew." He answered as you stared at him, eyebrows narrowing. "Ben Solo is my nephew. The son to Leia Organa and Han Solo."

Blinking, you took in deep breaths. His nephew... the one he had mentioned before... The lightsaber was his? But where was he? "Where is he?"

"He's gone." He simply answered, a flat look on his face... but a hint of grievance.

"What happened to him?" You asked, standing still in your spot.

Looking down for a moment, Luke took in a deep breath. "He was killed... A student of mine... went rogue, slaughtered them all."

"That's why you went in exile..." You breathed, jaw tightening. "I'm sorry..."

Slowly nodding his head, he looked up at the sky. "He was my only hope... but then I found you. And now I have faith..." He said. "I had beat myself up for my failure, for all the loss... they put their faith in me and I failed them. I couldn't protect them."

"But, it wasn't your fault." You shook your head.

"It was. I saw it coming... I felt it in the Force... I could've stopped it. But I couldn't. I couldn't do it. I was caught in between... doing what was right or doing what my moral compass told me to do. And that's why I'm here, on Ahch-To."

Slowly nodding your head, you looked down at the lightsaber. "I won't fail Ben Solo... If I have the honor to wield his lightsaber, I will do what is right. I will do what he was meant to do." You said with a nod. "His death wont be in vain."

Eyeing you with glossy eyes, seeing the strong hope you held within yourself, the courage... the bravery... Determination. It reminded him of himself when he was younger. To see the faith you had in your eyes, so strong... He knew what you were capable of. What your path truly lead to. And he wouldn't stop you.

"Let's continue your training."


	10. The Path

_Forgive me, I feel it again... the call from the light._

_Supreme Leader senses it._

_Show me again, the power of the darkness... and I will let nothing stand in our way._

_Show me, grandfather... and I will finish what you started._

Taking in a deep breath as your eyes opened, the sight before you was the sun rising. You had barely slept that night, days had passed since you found out about Ben Solo...

There was a change in your heart... In your mind and soul. You felt it...

And the Force was becoming stronger within you.

Sitting with your legs crossed, on top of a rock that you made float, you sucked in a small breath. All you could hear was your breathing, nothing but your breathing. The sight before you being the early morning sky... but then you felt a presence, as if someone were beside you.

Seeing a black figure, hunched to the right of you, back facing you, you swallowed. Taking in deep breaths, you slowly looked over, only to see no one was there.

Blinking, you felt a presence, you turning your head to speak over your shoulder. "Luke?" You called out, but there was no response.

"Close enough..." A voice spoke, an unfamiliar one.

Turning around, you blinked. Another Force ghost? "Are you one of Luke's ghost friends?" You asked, a small smile on their lips as they let out a chuckle.

"Force ghost, yes... Friend, no." He said as you blinked. "I'm family."

"Are you... Ben Solo?" You questioned, sitting on your knees, but the man shook his head.

"No... I'm his grandfather." He corrected as your lips parted.

"Grandfather... You're Luke's father?" Seeing him nod, your eyes trailed down, the Jedi robes that resembled Luke's... The lightsaber at his hip. "A Jedi..."

"Was... A lot happened before my time of passing." He said, walking over to you. "May I?" He gestured to the lightly floating rock, you nodding as you lowered it. Watching him take a seat beside you, you took in small breaths, hearing the wind howl and the water splashing bellow. "My son has put a lot of faith in you... I can see it... Like he did once before."

"So I've been told..."

"History repeats itself... quite often in this family and around those who get involved." The man said. "My name is Anakin. Anakin Skywalker." He introduced as you nodded. "And you have no idea as to who the Skywalker's are..."

"Hardly." You laughed. "I didn't know who Luke was... he had to tell me. Same goes for you... I'm sure you're important, too..."

Letting out a small laugh, he looked down. "So it seems... I still am, apparently."

"I want to understand it all... I want to know why I was chosen. Why it's me who is in all of this... There must be other Force users... right?"

"Yes, but you... You have something not many have. And it's not just the power or your abilities... it's what you have in here." Anakin poked at his chest where his heart would be. "It's big... and it's in the right place."

"How do I know that? All my life I've only ever thought about myself. Me and only me. My survival... My well being. I had no one else to worry about..."

"Now, things have changed..." He said, although a hint of questioning.

Blinking and looking down, taking in deep breaths, thinking about your dreams... the voices... you nodded. "Yes..."

"There's someone else..."

"I-I have these visions, these dreams. I see things I don't understand... I hear things I don't get. It's all... It's all one giant puzzle that I can't solve because none of the pieces connect."

"It's the Force..."

"I-I know... but I don't know what it's trying to tell me. I-I don't understand... I'm trying to understand... Trying to see what it means. What the Force wants to tell me... But it's becoming more and more ominous. Mysterious... Confusing. Unsettling."

"I had visions, when I was alive. Nightmares that frightened me, that lead me to where I am now. I allowed it to get the best of me. I caused the visions. I was the reason behind my nightmares." Anakin said as you looked at him.

"Are you saying I should ignore them?"

"No..." He shook his head. "Whatever you see... there's more to it. More than you see and hear. You have to look deeper, try to understand... but, also... don't lose yourself amongst it. Don't let it get the best of you. Know not to take what you see literal. It's signs... It's warnings... It's trying to tell you something. Only _you_ know what to do with it."

Swallowing, looking down at your hands, you took in a deep breath. "I just don't understand why it's happening to me..."

"The Force chose you." Anakin said. "And you have a path to follow on."

"Everyone keeps saying that, but I don't know what path I'm even on? Or supposed to choose?"

"Soon, you will know." Anakin nodded, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Believe me. When the time comes, you will know."

Looking at him, Anakin gave you a reassuring smile before disappearing, you turning back around and looking at the sunrise.

For some reason, your mind kept going back to Ben Solo... This person, this man. They were consuming your thoughts... Why, when they were claimed to have been dead? Why was your mind doing this to you?

"The Force..." You breathed, shutting your eyes, sitting back in the position you were in once before, hoping to meditate with a clear mind. To understand what the Force wanted to show you.

_Light._

_Life._

_Air._

_The ocean._

_The grass._

_Care Takers._

_Luke..._

_Yoda, Obi Wan... Anakin._

_Ben Solo..._

_Darkness._

_Death._

_Decay._

_Damage._

_Emptiness._

_Ben Solo..._

_The in between._

_The balance._

_The Force._

_Me._

Opening your eyes, you hadn't realized how much time had passed until the sun was at its peak, signaling that it was mid day. Had Luke not gone searching for you? Or had he felt it in the Force that you were meditating?

Lowering the rock and standing up, you jumped off and walked away, eyeing the lightsaber that sat at your hip. "Ben Solo..." You whispered, not understanding why he was so important.

But every time you saw darkness... every time you saw a balance... his name came to mind.

You felt as if there was more to him. As if there was something Luke wasn't telling you... You felt it deep in your chest.

Luke was lying... and you knew. You could tell. You sensed it out.

_It's lies..._

_All of it..._

_Ben Solo, he is dead._

_But not in the way Luke has told you._

_And you know it to be true. You can tell._

_Luke lies._

_He feeds you false hope._

_He is using you._

_You are meant for more._

Shutting your eyes and taking a deep breath, focusing on the wind and water, you reopened them and let out a sigh. The voice was gone.

 _"I want to find him..."_ You thought _. "Where is he... Where is Ben Solo?"_

_I can show you..._

_I can bring you to the man responsible._

_You can bring vengeance._

_Do what is right._

_Do not let Ben Solo die in vein._

_"I won't."_


	11. Out of Body

_Black hallways._

_Silver walls._

_White lights._

_A door..._

_A presence._

_It's close..._

_It's right there..._

_Behind the door, I feel it._..

Reaching your hand out, seeing it come into view, you were just about to open the door... that is until you were sent back. Flying farther away from it, through endless amounts of doors that never ceased opening. Free falling through them.

Trying to reach out, trying to somehow use the Force to stop you from falling, you suddenly landed with a thud.

Lying there, head throbbing, you sat up. _Who are you?_ A voice echoed, vibrating around you. _Who are you?_

_Who are you?_

Searching around you, seeing nothing but a pathway, a figure came into view.

_Who are you?_

"Hello?" You called out, seeing someone dressed in white, bare feet keeping them in their spot.

_Who are you?_

Swallowing, you took slow steps, their backside facing you. "Hello?" Your voice echoed, the figure looking down, your eyes following... That lightsaber in their hold... it was the same one at your hip.

Or, at least _was_ at your hip.

Gasping, you shot your head back up, the person walking away. "Wait!" You reached your hand out, but they wouldn't halt. "Wait, please!"

Seeing them grow further and further away from you, your lightsaber now in their hold, you tried running but couldn't, your movements were slow as the persons... the man's... grew faster.

**_Who are you?_ **

_That lightsaber... it belongs to me!_

**_Who are you?_ **

_He_ _w_ _as weak and foolish like his father!_

**_Who are you?_ **

_I want to be free of this pain_...

Trying to quicken up your pace, you felt yourself panic. Who was it? Who had taken your lightsaber away from you?

_I want to be free..._

_I want to be free..._

_Free..._

_Pain..._

_Will you help me?_

Hearing the voice flow in and out, echoing, becoming hallow, you reached out... but the Force wasn't in your favor. 

Seeing the figure turn a corner, you followed after, only to come to a stop as you saw snow. Nothing but snow and a never ending forest.

Standing still, eyeing the brand new atmosphere around you, you saw a dark, clouded sky. Then, your attention was caught. Shifting in the snow.

Looking back ahead, you saw someone... a little boy peeking from behind a tree, looking right at you.

Rushing over, reaching the tree, you saw no one. "Hello?" You called out again.

_It'll be okay..._

_He will protect you..._

_No one will ever hurt you, I promise._

_You are safe in his care._

_Under his watch_.

_No one will hurt you._

_No one will take you away from me_.

 _You will be fine_.

 _The bad man can't get you_.

Hearing the soft, womanly voice, you heard distant panting, turning around and seeing the same boy rush off. "Wait!" You yelled, following after, only to gasp as you saw a dark figure pop out of nowhere, right in front of you.

With a black helmet that you could easily see your reflection in, a flowing cape, and a machine that seemed to be attached to their chest, they had a lightsaber in their hold... a burning red beam lifted as their hand extended out. 

"Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends."

Stumbling back as the figure looked before you, you shut your eyes, the humming of the lightsaber growing closer and closer to you as voices filled your head.

_Power!_

_Unlimited power!_

_You don't know the power of the dark side._

_I have you now._

_Give in to your hate and anger._

_There is no escape._

Feeling tears soak the skin on your cheeks, your heart rate began to rise. The voice grew louder... aggressive, morphing away from its mechanical tone into that of a sinister one. You had never felt this afraid before.

Suddenly, you felt pressure on your cheeks, as if someone had been holding them. "Open you eyes! You're safe! Follow my voice!"

Forcing your eyes open, your own looked into a set of hazel ones, heart fluttering in your chest, but, before you could truly see who they were, you blinked and they instantly disappeared... leaving you alone in your hut.

Sitting up slowly, placing your hand on your harshly beating heart, you pushed your free hand through your hair, brushing it away from your face. These... Force dreams were becoming more and more vivid and surreal. They were also becoming very unpleasant.

Moving to sit at the edge of the cot, you looked over to where you left your lightsaber, only to see it was gone.

Gasping, you blinked and it was suddenly... back. Were you losing your mind? Or was the Force messing with you in odd ways to send a message?

Rubbing your face, you thought about the man you saw holding your lightsaber... dressed in all white, bare feet and dark hair...

Then the little boy that looked so much like them... same attire but smaller.

Had that been... "Ben Solo..." Who else would hold the lightsaber?

Taking in a deep breath, you changed into your training attire before sticking your hand out for the lightsaber to fly to you. But, before it came into contact with your palm, you allowed it to hover.  "What are you trying to tell me?"

"Hey, kid." Hearing knocking on the hut door, you looked up, the lightsaber falling into your hold and sending chills through your body. "I want to teach you something."

Placing the hilt on your belt, you walked over to the door and opened it. "Teach me something?"

"Astral projection." Luke said before turning, gesturing for you to follow behind—in which you did.

"You're going to teach me? How to astral travel?" You asked as the two of you went toward the usual spot he liked to meditate in.

"Yes." Luke said, the two of you eventually coming to a stop. "Sit." He pointed his hand as you did so. "It isn't easy to do. It takes a lot out of you, so your nose bleeds are nothing to this. It could easily take your life away if you use it too long."

"Wonderful..." You sighed.

"It's an out of body experience. There are two forms: the physical body and the astral body. The physical body is you, here, in front of me. The astral body is the one you project elsewhere." Nodding your head, Luke continued. "You can travel anywhere in the galaxy... universe, if you put your mind to it."

"How is it that you do it?" You asked.

"Close your eyes." Luke said as you did so. "Focus on the place you want to go to. Think about it. Feel the environment around you... Let it encase your soul... become one with it."

Feeling your body become relaxed, you opened your eyes, only to see the backside of Luke. Gasping and covering your mouth, Luke turned around. "And, there you go."

Eyeing him, then yourself, you swallowed. "This... This is... insane..." Walking over, you reached out, your arm going right through Luke. "So this is how you did it..."

"Be careful, if you do not stay focused, you will lose yourself. And you can't stay for too long or else it will separate you from yourself... or, you will overwork your mind and body and exhaust it to a point you can not recover."

"Okay..." You nodded, only to feel yourself waver. "Oh no..."

"Be careful, you are very new to this, it can take a toll." Luke spoke cautiously, watching you as you were losing yourself, your physical body showing signs of distress as your astral body faded in and out. "Focus, kid. Don't let this get the best of you. It's fairly simple."

"I-I'm trying..."

"Focus... get yourself together. Go back. Don't stay too long, you're very new."

"I can do this... I can do this..." You nodded, nearly forcing yourself as Luke turned to face your physical body. Seeing the blood drip from your nose, he rushed over.

"I think it's time to come back. Merge yourself. You're losing yourself." He calmly spoke, not wanting to stress you. "Come on, you can do it."

"I-I'm- Im trying!"

Looking over and seeing your astral projection fade in and out, Luke shut his eyes and held onto your hands, trying to help you. But, as soon as his hands came into contact with your own, he was sent flying back.

Forcing your eyes open with a hitch in your breath, you instantly jumped to your feet. "Master Luke?" Looking down at him, he lied there... horror in his eyes. "Master Luke?"

"We... We are done here... For the day." Scrambling to get up, Luke nearly panted, walking off but... with a hurry.

"Master Luke..." You muttered, reaching out, but he was already gone. What had happened? What had he seen that sent him rushing off like that?

_He's afraid._

_He's terrified._

_He now truly sees your potential._

_What you are capable of._

_What is in that deep and fogged up mind of yours._

_He's running away..._

_Just like he did before._


	12. And There Was Light

Hearing the faint sound of rain fill your ears, the distant lightning that sparked, causing a harsh thunder to roar making it all the harder... and darker for you.

Night had fallen and it had been hours since Luke had spoken to you. Instead of your nightly dinner with him, you got your own before retreating to your hut... as always.

Your mind was hazy and louder, you needed to clear it. To rid all the noise. It was becoming too much... how hadn't you lost your mind?

 _A balance_.

Sucking in your breath at the voice, one that sounded much like the one who had saved you earlier... you sat on your cot, legs crossed as you relaxed your muscles just enough to feel at ease.

_Trees..._

_Grass..._

_Wind..._

_Afternoon sun..._

_Clouds..._

_Nature..._

_A temple._

_Students._

_Knowledge._

_Adaptation._

_Hope._

_A lone figure._

Opening your eyes and finding yourself lying on a grassy plane, you lifted yourself up, using your hand as a visor to block out the sun. Where were you?

It was warm and breezy, not too hot and not too chilly. Just the perfect temperature.

But where was it?

It wasn't Ahch-To, or any planets you had ever been to... No, it was different. It was calming, soothing... relaxing. No hostility, not a single ounce of it.

Standing up and reaching for your cloak, you pulled it over before you eyed your surroundings. Nothing was off... nothing was sensed.

But there was life... and there was light. All around you.

"Where am I?" You whispered, hearing nothing but the wind howl.

" _The question should be, where is this place?_ " A voice faded in, sounding as if it were being echoed. " _Is it reality... or is it an alternate plane?_ "

Searching, turning around and looking for where the voice came from, you could hear your breathing as easily as the breeze. Almost as if you were pressed against your chest. "This isn't real." You shook your head.

" _Are you sure about that?_ " The voice vibrated.

"Positive..." Yet, you weren't... you were questioning it all.

" _Why is it that you've come here?_ "

"I didn't... I found myself here." You spoke into the thin air.

" _Are you sure about_ ** _that_** _?_ "

"...Yes."

" _Hmm_."

"I've never seen this place before... I don't know where this place is. Why would I be here?"

" _For answers_."

"Answers?"

" _For the endless questions you have_."

"How could this answer my questions?" You asked. "I'm talking to nothing... are you the voice of the Force?"

" _How naïve_." They chuckled as you frowned. " _Take a wild guess as to who I am_."

"I... Uh... A Force ghost?"

" _No_."

"Then, why can't I see you?" You asked.

" _Ask yourself that_." They said. " _Why_ _won't you let me in?_ "

"Let you in?" Your eyebrows narrowed. "What if you're something... someone I shouldn't let in?"

" _Isn't it a little too late for that?_ "

Scoffing, you shut your eyes. "It's too late for anything."

"No, it's not." Hearing the voice more clear, you blinked. "It never truly is too late. Even when death is involved."

Wandering your eyes, you then slowly turned. Seeing the bright sun shine down and blind you, you covered the ball of gas with your hand as your eyes squinted. Whoever they were was a tall figure and wore light colors... the sun was reflecting strongly off of them.

"You can still save me."

"Save you?" You questioned, taking a small step back to get a better look... yet, the figure was still blinded.

"Yes." Taking a step forward, blocking the sun, your heart leaped in your chest, your stomach turning in awe. "You know who I am."

Eyeing them, the white robes and pants, the bare feet... dark hair... the lightsaber in their hold. "Hey, that's mine!" You called out, looking at your hip and seeing it was missing. "How-"

"Are you sure?" They asked as you nodded.

"Yes, that's mine. It means too much to me to lose. Give it back." You stuck out your hand.

"You still don't understand, do you?" Narrowing your eyes, you slowly took steps back as they slowly took steps forward.

"I understand that you stole my lightsaber."

" _My_ lightsaber." They corrected as your eyebrows narrowed.

"Yours?" You questioned, confused, only for your eyes to widen. "Ben Solo..."

Taking one more step forward where the sun no longer blinded you, your breath got caught in your throat as you eyed them. Pale skin scattered in beauty marks and freckles, rosy lips loosely pressed together... a faint smile on them. The sharp nose... dark eyebrows... dark hair.

They had been the one in the hallway... the little boy running...

Then, you looked into their eyes... the hazel color that made your heart flutter.

They were the one who saved you from your nightmare.

"You... How?"

"I live with this lightsaber. It's a part of who I am... What I am... Who I would become..." They—Ben—said as you stood there, quietly listening. "I am one with the lightsaber, as I am with the Force."

"You... Are you dead? Is that how I see you here?" You asked. "This is my mind... none of this is real..."

"It may not be, but the signs are."

"Signs? Everyone keeps telling me that there are signs... That there's a path... That I'll eventually know my place in this galaxy! But, I don't! I don't know what I'm doing!" You exclaimed. "I'm being told one thing, or another. I'm being tugged left and right. I feel like I'm being torn apart from the inside of my head." You breathed. "I'm losing myself."

"No, you're not." He shook his head, approaching you. "I will help you."

"How? You're only in my head."

"Because... you can help me." He said as you blinked. "The Force, it's connecting you to my lightsaber, it's bringing us together. Merging our Forces." He explained. "That's why you're seeing it all... Hearing it all."

"But... how, if you're dead?" Looking him in the eyes, searching them, he only shook his head. 

"I'm not truly dead." He said as you tilted your head. "Come with me." Grabbing your hand and guiding you away, towards a temple, your lips formed into an 'o' shape at the sight. "The new generation of Jedi. Where it all began."

"New generation... Luke..."

"Yes, Master Luke." Ben breathed. "The wisest... bravest... Most powerful man of his kind."

"Yet... he's a hermit, on an island." You sighed.

"Has he told you why?"

"Yes." You nodded. "One of his students turned against them all." You answered, but Ben looked over his shoulder momentarily, as if disappointed. And you sensed this. "What?"

"He hasn't told you the whole story..."

"Whole story?" Entering the temple and walking down a hall, Ben hadn't let go of your hand. Somehow, time was still, everyone around you, frozen. Although not many people in a vast area, you could tell who they were. The dozen students.

"Yes." Ben nodded. "That student that turned... he was corrupted. Seduced. Manipulated..." He began. "He was being used... still is. Lies were being fed to him, his weaknesses used against him. His fear turned into anger and that anger turned into hate. And that was his down fall."

"He..." You muttered. "Who?"

"You will see."

Looking over and seeing the students disappear one by one as the sun had been setting, your eyebrows narrowed. "What's happening?"

"The downfall."

Exiting the temple through a side, his pace quickened as you saw bright lights emerge... A fire breaking out. "Wh-what is happening?"

"The end of the generation."

"B-but how? How-" Seeing him come to a stop, you looked over and saw a figure in the distance, on his knees... a droid right next to him. "Is that... Luke?"

"This is his failure... Or so he claims it to be." Ben said as you watched in horror, feeling the pain that Luke felt, the overbearing weight on your shoulders as you instantly fell to your own knees.

Looking down as you took in deep breaths, Ben crouched beside you. "Who... Who did this?"

"Me."


	13. Fulfill Your Destiny

Hearing the sound of fire burning instantly disappear as everything suddenly went silent, your heart skipped a beat at Ben's words.

Looking up, your eyes landed on a pair of figures—one standing and one laying down.

"Luke feared it was too late... that he hadn't tried hard enough. That the only way to stop me was to kill me..." Seeing Luke ignited his lightsaber, Ben continued on. "But, he couldn't do it. He couldn't sever the bond that was blood and family. It wasn't in him."

Watching as you slowly stood up, your eyes shifted towards the sleeping figure... then the lightsaber on the table. Yours... Ben's...

"He couldn't do it. He never did it for his father, so why should he to his own nephew? He had hope that somehow... somehow I'd be restored..." Watching the figure shift, Ben sighed, "But then I woke up."

Watching the lightsaber fly into his grip as Luke's clashed against it. " _Ben, no!_ "

Flinching as you watched Ben stick out his arm and pull back, the wall came. crumbling down on to Luke. "You... tried to kill him..."

"No... Not Ben Solo." Furrowing your brows, you looked up at him. "The entity that consumed... The darkness that blinded him and took over."

Turning your head and seeing the then Ben no longer there, you heard distant yells of pain and terror, sending shivers down your spine. "He was influenced. Lied to. Manipulated... Abused. He believed it all, he fell for it. If he did what _he_ said, he would be free of the imbalance... of the splitting in his soul. He was told that Luke was to blame for all of it... For all of his sleepless nights and aching bones."

"Little did he know... that it would only get worse."

Watching the fire erupt as you took a step back, hand still in Ben's, you gasped. "I-I don't understand... I..."

"The dark side of the Force is just as powerful as the light side. If you abuse it, manipulate it to your advantage... it has its flaws. It's disadvantages. It's side effects." Ben explained.

"Why... How are you showing me all of this?" You asked, eyes still on the fire.

"You need to know the truth. You need to see it for yourself. You need to understand."

Swallowing, your head turned to the rubble that shifted, a robotic hand sticking out before the debris was cleared from the area. "The lightsaber, your lightsaber... my lightsaber. It connects us. Ben Solo's essence is still a part of it. It's seen it all... It's been through it all. And now, you know."

Seeing Luke emerge from the rubble, you blinked away the faint tears you had. "You will carry me with you through your journey. I will be there with you along the way."

"My journey?"

"Yes. I think you know what you're meant to do..."

"But... where are you... where is _he_?" You asked, the world around you suddenly crumbling away and sending you elsewhere.

Turning you around with him, Ben pointed his finger. "There." Looking up and seeing a tall, dark figure cladded in black, looking out into the stars, you felt a sensation move about in your chest... in the Force.

You could feel them, as if you were right there with them, in the same atmosphere...

And they could feel you.

Lowering his head from the stars, feeling an unusual sensation in the Force as everything went silent, Kylo slowly turned, looked over his shoulder... and saw nothing.

"My journey..." You breathed, opening up your eyes and seeing the darkness of your hut. The thunder still roaring, the rain still pouring down... The time felt like forever in the vision... but time barely had passed in reality.

Standing up from the cot, you aimed for the door. "You know what you have to do now."

Hearing the voice, you nodded. "Yes."

"It's a bold move..."

"I know." You swallowed.

"It's just you now. No one can help you from here on. You're on your own."

Taking in a deep breath you nodded. "I understand... I know what I have to do. And I know what this path entitles."

"Before you go..." Turning around and looking at the Force ghost—at Anakin—he came to a stop before you. "Find an anchor. Something... someone that will keep you where you're meant to be. Stable. Find it and never let it go. What you're about to do... I'm afraid will take a toll on you... Just keep in mind what you're meant to do."

"Thank you." With one single nod, you pulled on your cloak, put the hood over your head, and walked out of the hut.

Seeing the lightning flash as the rain heavily patted against you, you looked off into the distance where your ship had been sat for the month you've been there.

Taking in a deep breath, you began to walk.

"Found your path, you have."

"Yoda." You spoke, continuously walking, not stopping.

"A dark one... that is."

"I know what I have to do."

"I see... I see..." Yoda hummed. "Fall deeply, you must not. A balance, you must find. This... is all an obstacle. Run around it you must not. Go forward, you will. Through it, over, under... If this is what you have chosen... you must face it."

Stopping in your tracks for a moment, Yoda continued. "The Force will always be with you... young one. But you decide its fate within you."

Letting out a small breath, you looked ahead and continued on, not looking back and disappearing down the steps of rocks.

"She knows what she is doing." Obi Wan said. "She has it in her. I see it. We must have faith in her."

"I do... you do... Anakin does... and so does-"

"Yes." Obi Wan nodded. "Very much."

Seeing your ship come into view, you aimed for the ramp, ready to hit it open, only to feel a presence. "I'm not going to stop you."

Turning and seeing Luke, you took in a deep breath. "Then why are you here?"

"I feared something like this would happen... It was bound to... I felt it in the Force when I got a hold of you. The balance in you... the light and the dark. Everything. I sensed it all."

"Is that why you distanced yourself?" You asked him, a voice echoing in your head as you stood there.

_Yes... He's fearful. Terrified._

"Yes." He admitted. "It reminded me of something..."

"Of Ben Solo." You spoke as he lifted his head.

"How-"

"I have formed a bond with the lightsaber. I've seen it all... Or, most of it. The temple... The fire... You... Ben." You said. "I'm not meant for this... for what we have going on. This training, this life. I can't just sit here and wait and wait and wait... I can't." You shook your head. "I'm sorry."

Blinking, Luke swallowed. Your barriers were up, your walls were high... he couldn't sense anything from you. Nothing. You hid it so well. You had full control of your mind... and he only feared what more you could do with it.

This... incredible and raw strength. Something much stronger than he's ever seen. Something so powerful.

Yet... he couldn't feel a thing. As if you had no Force. As if you had no soul. Like a droid.

"You're going to him. To his ship. To _them_." Luke said as you turned, hitting the ramp button. "You don't know how dangerous this is. His strength... His power."

_Don't listen to him... He's fearful you will leave him alone... Afraid you'd leave him there, to die. To rot. To suffer alone. He wants you to suffer with him._

"I know what I have to do." You spoke over your shoulder, aiming for the ramp. "The galaxy does not need me. The light... the hope... the Resistance. They don't need me. They need you. Luke Skywalker. By their side. No matter what." You said, just about ready to leave his sight. "That is your path, not mine." Looking at him, you said your last words. "This is mine."

_You know where to go... Follow the Force that now guides you... And you will find me._

Watching you disappear into your ship as the ramp closed, Luke took in a harsh breath with a swallow, eyes burning as he felt tears pool in them. Yet another one gone, slipping through his fingertips.

"Alright, Astrobleme... Lets do this." You said, patting the control panel of your ship.

_Fulfill your destiny._


	14. Supremacy

"We have a guest arriving..." Snoke said as he sat on his dark throne, bright red walls surrounding him with matching Praetorian guards. "She will be entering the Supremacy's hangar soon. See to it that you welcome her."

"Yes, Supreme Leader." Hux bowed his head.

"We have... a new addition to our ever growing army. She will fit in nicely and... discard what we don't need. Those who have failed us."

Lightly smirking, Hux knew exactly what Snoke had meant. "Of course."

"She is strong with the Force. Very strong. She will be _our_ hope. The one to crush the Resistance and bring its end. To finish off the Jedi once and for all. She is the one. The one we've all needed... all along." Snoke clenched his fist. "She will finish what _he_ could not."

"Will she..."

"Yes." Snoke immediately answered, knowing where the General was going with his words. "In due time... I will train her with the dark side of the Force. In ways she has never learned before. She will be stronger, better... more powerful. And then, she will make her strike once she fully turns."

"A wise plan, my Supreme Leader." Hux nodded, the smirk still present on his lips. Anything to rid a... pest amongst the Order. A wavering officer and... member. "I am more than thrilled to meet this woman."

Nodding his head, Snoke grinned. "As am I... As am I..."

Landing Astrobleme in the hangar of the ship you now found yourself in, you sat there for a moment and took in a deep breath, eyes shut as you reached into the Force.

Standing in the middle of... nothing, white everywhere, you watched as one by one, walls began to appear, surrounding you, growing higher and higher until you couldn't see the very top.

"You've lifted your walls... even higher than before." Hearing the voice speak, you turned. "You haven't found your anchor."

Seeing Ben standing there in the same attire you saw him in before, you nodded. "I have."

"You have?" He questioned, the sounds of the walls lifting filled either of yours—and his—ears.

"Yes." Taking a few steps forward and hearing water ripple, you came to a stop just before him, enough where you had to look up and he, down to you. "And I think you know."

Looking you in the eye, searching them, he gave you a single nod. "Do you know what you're getting yourself into?"

"Hardly." You truthfully spoke. "But I will stop at nothing."

"It's dangerous."

"I know."

"You could die."

"What is there to lose?"

At your answer, Ben stayed silent, eyeing you... studying you. Although his focus was set on your eyes, he felt as if he were looking through them, right into your soul.

Letting out a sigh, Ben swallowed. Although he wasn't entirely real, his attachment to the lightsaber was, almost as if the real Ben had left a part of him behind to live through it.

"I know where I belong." Reaching your hand out, palm open, Ben slowly moved his hand on top of yours. "And I know what I have to do." Wrapping your fingers around his palm, holding as much as you could, you bowed your head. "Thank you."

Reopening your eyes, you heard the ramp open as you stood up, hiding your lightsaber enough that your cloak covered it.

"Stay out here." An accented voice spoke before you heard feet hitting against the metallic ramp, you drawing your attention over to it as you watched them come into view. A man dressed in all black, a coat over his shoulders, red hair slicked and parted neatly... A pale face that showed clear stress and... almost sickness. They must've been someone important to look half dead.

Standing there, quietly breathing as you watched him, he lifted his head as a smile filled his lips. "You must be the guest. You've been expected." The man bowed before you. "General Hux." Reaching his hand out, you took it in your own, the coldness of their glove causing you to shiver. You could sense his intentions towards the galaxy... his soul was as cold as his gloved fingertips. "The Supreme Leader awaits your arrival."

Swallowing with a nod as your hand slipped from his own, the man turned and guided you along the way. The title Supreme Leader sounded... menacing and threatening. They must've had a lot of power on them.

They must've been the voice in your head...

Following Hux down the ramp, your eyes landed on a set of four stormtroopers, aligned... waiting. You didn't want to seem too curious, but, you were. All the black and silver... the vessels... the spacecrafts and advanced technology. It was... astounding.

Entering a hallway, you were guided along. Officers dressed much like Hux passing you by, stormtroopers as well... some with a shoulder pad that was in different colors. Red, black, white...

Then, you eyed the floor. The black tile... the silver walls... the white lights... the red. Your vision. This was what you were seeing. Your future? Had it been a sign all along?

Keeping your hands together as you walked, back straight and head held high, you could feel a few eyes on you. They couldn't understand as to why you had no restraints and why the stormtroopers were behind rather than surrounding you. Their curiosity was obvious and loud.

Most of the time, if not always, outsiders were always handcuffed... wrists bound together. Not with their arms freely moving or at their sides.

It was an odd sight but they didn't question. You must've been important if Hux had been walking you somewhere.

Turning a few corners and entering an elevator, in which the troopers had left you and Hux in, you took in a small breath as you stood in silence. "You will be a fine addition to the First Order." Hux smiled. He felt... excited. There was going to be change. Good change. And he had been waiting for this for years now.

Standing silent, keeping your eyes on the door, you nodded. You weren't nervous or shy... you barely felt anything at the moment. And Hux could hardly read you. Your emotions seemed so flat unlike someone else he knew. Which made him like you more than he already had by the Supreme Leader's words. You were... respectful. And your quietness made him _happy_.

Seeing the doors open, Hux walked before you as your heart skipped a beat. That hallway... those walls... Your vision. You easily recognized it, but never in your visions did you see a throne... or the man sitting on it.

"There she is..." The figure grinned, sitting up and waving his fingers. "Come."

Walking past Hux as he stood behind, you easily obeyed. Something Hux was impressed by. "Impressive... So young, so full of life." The man... creature? Said. Eyeing every inch of you with a smile that could easily make anyone shiver from discomfort. "Wonderful... Beautiful..."

Coming to a stop before him, he leaned forward. "The look in those bright eyes of yours... I see it... You're not afraid. You're strong. Stronger than I imagined you to be..."

Eyeing his contorted face, you nodded. You've seen plenty of bad in your lifetime, his face wasn't enough to scare you. "Come closer, my dear and fall to one knee. Kneel before me."

Blinking, you lowered your eyes and walked forward, kneeling and crossing your hands on your lifted knee. "Look at me." Looking up, he snickered. "Oh, yes... You will do. You will do just fine..."

"The Force... Mmm... It radiates off of you like a field of its own. Raw... Intense... Powerful. Your capability is far more than... anyone else." He spoke, clear excitement in his twisted facial expressions. "Yes... Your time will come when you take a path that will lead you to more power and respect. I see it already... Ahh, yes. I do. By my side, you will be unstoppable."

Keeping your eyes on him as you took in steady breaths, he stood up and walked over to you. "Stand up." He waved two fingers back, gesturing for you to do so. "The clothes of a Jedi... What a shame." He snickered. "They will mean nothing to you once I show you the right ways to use the Force. The better... stronger ways."

Coming to a stop before you as he loomed, his fingers held your chin, his long nails nearly digging into your skin. "And then, once I know you are ready... I will take you to the person responsible for your loss... You will take them down, once and for all."

Feeling his hand move your head, side to side, he then trailed his nail down your cheek and neck, over to the material of your cloak as you bit down. "Don't worry... You will be given proper attire for your training. For now, we must blend you in." He smiled as you nodded, his finger moving to rest under your chin. "Who you are now will mean nothing. You will become someone new."

"A new identity. A new name... look... person." He said. "You will be an officer, a well blended in one, the General will show you around and give you your place in all of this."

"Then, you will train with me and keep your abilities hidden from anyone. Throughout the galaxy."

"Are you ready for your future, my new apprentice?" Nodding your head, Snoke grinned. "Good... Welcome to the First Order, officer Arya Vega."


	15. Hidden

Taking in a deep breath as Snoke took a small step back for you to stand, you broke your silence. "Where is he?" You asked.

"The one held responsible?" Nodding your head, Snoke let out an exhausted sigh at the thought. At the thought of him... the one who continued to fail him, disobey him... Disappoint him. The one who could never surpass his grandfather. "Kylo Ren."

"Is that the one?" You asked, Snoke nodding.

"The one you're after, yes." Snoke said. "As of now, he is not on this ship... but, he tends to be as of late. Stay away for the time being. You do not want him sensing you out." He asserted. "Keep yourself hidden, no one must sense you. He must not figure you out."

Bowing your head, Snoke waved over to Hux. "You will know who he is through the Force. Be cautious. Be aware."

"Supreme Leader." Hux bowed.

"Show her to her quarters, from there she will find her new attires for her position in the Order. Then, you will give her a spot amongst the rest of the officers. Find her a place to blend in. I will leave the rest to me." Snoke shifted back in his seat, dismissing either of you after saying, "Do not fail me, _Arya Vega_."

"I will not, Supreme Leader." At those words, both Snoke and Hux knew where your loyalties had lied.

Exiting the throne room and guiding you along, Hux walked with his head held high and arms crossed behind his back. A calculated stride. It was clear he knew what he was doing and knew everyone respected him... At least, nearly everyone did.

He was more than happy with this new found change. You... to bring down the one thing that held the First Order back. To rid what got in the way of his future. Of what he was entitled to have. To be the next Supreme Leader.

"You will be living amongst the rest of the officers in your chambers. You will be posted near me on here. I am not normally stationed on the Supremacy but as of now I will be."

"Am I going to be your... assistant?" You asked.

"No. I will give you a task to deal with to make you blend in in your time off from training so no one questions who you are. You will be an officer posted near the command center but you will also be able to work through a datapad if need be. I will give you a spot and show you the basics. Other than that, most of your time will be with the Supreme Leader."

"As long as I'm not obvious."

"Well, with what you're wearing now, you are." Continuously walking, Hux then came to a stop. "But, you may change into what is set in your closet."

"How could you possibly think the clothing is the right size?" You questioned as Hux punched in a code to the living quarters.

"Supreme Leader handled that." Blinking at his answer with a small furrow in your eyebrows, you heard the door slide open. "Here, your data pad. I will be sending you private messages on what to do and what to deal with. You will also receive alerts and other messages when the Supreme Leaders requests your presence."

"And the code for the door?"

"All in there." Hux pointed as he moved to a side, allowing you in to your newfound... home. "I will come back in half an hour, giving you your first task. Change into your officer uniform. I will see you soon, Vega." He grinned as you gave him a single nod, taking a step back as the door closed.

Turning away, you eyed the data pad, seeing certain files and apps were restricted with special codes while others were free to explore.

Placing it down to a side, you eyed the chamber. Small and simple. A bed sat in between two night stands, a door that lead to a washroom... A table with a single chair across the bed and to the right of the bed was the closet. There was even a small fridge.

Removing your cloak, you folded it up and moved to the nightstand, opening the drawer and placing the clothing inside. Then, you removed your belt and grabbed the lightsaber. Sitting on the bed and placing the belt to a side, you removed your boots and moved to cross your legs.

Taking in a deep breath, you shut your eyes and relaxed your muscles, thinking about your environment. A lot less... open than your previous.

_A bed..._

_Four dark walls..._

_The air humming in the vents..._

_The people passing..._

_Life..._

_Stars..._

_Planets..._

_The open space..._

_The galaxy..._

_The universe..._

Feeling the time stop as the world around you went silent, you were in a room void of time and space... Black everywhere, much like what you had seen in visions before. Taking in a deep breath, you felt another presence there, with you.

Shifting your eyes around the area in your view, you turned your head and felt something in the Force... something pulling at you.

Turning slowly, your heart skipped a beat. A figure in all black... the same figure from when Ben took you to see...

Taking in a deep breath, you eyed the black cape, the dark hair... their build. They were tall and it was clear they were in shape with how broad their shoulders were.

Slowly walking over, hearing water ripple beneath you with every step you took, your arm reached out, fingers stretching. Becoming closer and closer until they were in arms reach.

Watching your shaky fingers come close to the material of the cape, they suddenly disappeared from your reach. Your breath hitching, eyes growing in size.

_Who are you?_

Lifting your head, eyeing your surroundings, you suddenly found yourself slipping back into reality... eyes opening to the sight of the closet before you.

Letting out a breath, you stood up and began to undress, wrapping your lightsaber within the mix and stuffing it into the same drawer as the cloak was in.

Turning to the closet, you slid open the door and eyed the clothing you had. A rather big closet for a small room...

Seeing there was already an outfit set, you pulled it out. A black uniform, a hat... and a blaster that was sat on a shelf. So now you were back to blasters?

Shoving the blaster into its holster, your attention then got caught. Something folded up neatly towards the back. All in black. Reaching for it, a knock caught you off guard and made you. snap your head over to the door. Later, you'd look.

"Vega, are you ready?" Hux called out.

"Yes." You spoke, closing the closet and backing up.

Removing your hair from the braid it was in, you wrapped it into a low bun before answering the door, following him out.

Taking in a deep breath as he looked himself in the mirror, eyeing the healing scar, the bandage that now coated it to help it mend together... he took in a small breath. The darkness around his eyes were now prominent. Hints of reds and blues, mixing together enough that the purple seemed black.

Kylo Ren lacked sleep.

He couldn't remember the last time he had a full night's rest, it was a faint memory to him. Especially after all that happened, with the Resistance attack and the fall of Starkiller Base... His failure was eating him alive.

Clenching his fist and hearing the leather squeak, his jaw tightened. He had the urge to punch a hole in the mirror before him... But, suddenly, something held him back. A feeling. A presence... The Force.

Taking in small breaths, Kylo eyed his mirror and saw nothing behind him. No one could have possibly gotten into his private quarters without him knowing...

But the sensation wouldn't waver... Just like all those other times before...

Shifting his eyes back to his face, eyeing his entire figure... the only plus side to him was the muscle gain. Instead of releasing his anger destroying, he released it through training. Body building. Becoming better and stronger... More powerful than he was before.

But, something was missing... Something had been holding him back. He wasn't at his full potential. No... he was still at the same level. Being seen as a child behind a mask.

Someone who could never be like his grandfather.

But then, as time progressed, he realized that was no longer what he wanted. He didn't want to be Darth Vader. Not the man who wasn't strong enough to fight against the light his son brought into him. Not the man who failed the Empire and helped bring it to its end.

No.

He was going to be himself. Kylo Ren. Someone who would achieve greater than any Sith Lord possibly had.

Because, unlike them, Kylo Ren was no Sith.

The Sith were long dead, as the Jedi should be—he believed. One without the other was pointless. There was no sense of... balance.

And he would never be a Sith Lord.

Because the Sith always failed.

He would not.

He knew what he would have to do, and it started with cutting off ties.

Letting the past die.


	16. Behind the Wall

Sitting amongst the vast amount of controls, unsure of what any of them did—Hux strongly suggesting you touch none—you sat back in your spot.

It was dead silent where you were, at least, the only sound to be heard was the control panel beeping and the Supremacy humming.

Other than that, dead silent.

You wondered why Hux had chosen this spot for you to work in out of any other... especially one so... secluded.

You were the only one there. You expected to be amongst others, to blend in. Not sit alone, around controls you did not know how to work, let alone, even fathom to explain what they were even for. Hux's orders were to simply keep an eye out and make sure nothing makes a harsh beeping sound.

A simple task, yes. Insanely boring, though.

So you sat... and you sat for what felt like hours. You couldn't understand the importance; why couldn't the Supreme Leader train you right away? Was he really all that busy?

Then you suddenly snapped out your deep thoughts and focused on the Force. A tugging sensation in your chest. The Force... it was calling out to something. Or something was calling out to you.

But, you believed it to be impossible. Your walls were high enough, no one could 'get inside' except for... well, the figurative Ben Solo.

Then you felt it again. What was it?

Shutting your eyes, wanting to channel the Force, the sound of the data pad instantly caught your attention as you looked down at it. An 'urgent' message from Hux.

 ** _The Supreme Leader urges you stay settled in your position. He is dealing with important matters and... someone is on board_**.

With a simple ' _Will do_ ' as a response, you sat the tablet down. You knew very well why that message was sent. Someone you weren't supposed to see was there.

But that didn't stop you from... _meditating_.

Entering the hangar of the Supremacy after leaving the command shuttle, Kylo made his way into the halls with long strides, his walk calculated and set. He had done this countless of times. He could do it blindfolded.

But this time, this time he wasn't going to be so... obedient.

He was no longer a puppet or some sort of lost pup who did whatever the owner pleased in order to feel useful or valuable. No. Now that his training was completed... there was no use for the leash.

Feeling the eyes on him, those of the officers who watched his stitched up cape flow behind him and the stern look that took over his expression. Furrowed eyebrows and pouted lips, they made sure to keep a nice gap between themselves and the commander.

Ever since the fall of Starkiller Base, Kylo had been too quiet for their liking. It was better when they could hear his outbursts, knowing when and where to avoid him... But now? Now he was quiet, like a deadly virus in the air. It was almost like he was the silent killer. And it terrified them

Walking deeper into the halls, not realizing how less and less he saw and felt life forms, Kylo's pace slowed down the corridor. Something was off... something was humming in his ears.

The Force... it was loud. It was staticky... It was hard to decipher what it had been trying to tell him.

Slowing his pace, Kylo's eyes scanned the area around him, nothing but long halls... no one in sight.

Then, he felt it. A tug in his chest. In his stomach. As if he had been having a rush of anxiety... But that wasn't the case.

Tightening and loosening up his fists, his shoulders tensed as he shut his eyes for a moment. Feeling the Force around him, the distant life forms and the galaxy surrounding him... he could feel himself being guided elsewhere. His mind following, passing by endless life forces until he came to a sudden stop.

He was in a dark room. No doors. No windows. No ceiling... nothing. Nothing but darkness.

Standing amongst it, he heard the faint sound of a control panel beeping. The familiar tone ringing within his ears as he turned around. And then he saw it.

A figure was sat in a chair, a set up much like how it was throughout the First Order on any of their ships. But what was the importance?

Hearing the faint ripple of water beneath his boots, Kylo took cautious steps forward. He wasn't afraid... but something like this had never happened to him before.

A sort of... vision? Connection? Or maybe he found his way into someone else's mind... somehow...

Walking towards the sitting figure, one he recognized to be in First Order officer uniform, he came to a stop as he slowed behind them. It was almost as if they couldn't even feel him. Let alone, realize someone was breathing behind them.

Reaching his gloved hand out, he rested it onto their shoulder but it fell right through, nearly making him stumble as the image before him disappeared. Like hologram. "Who are you?" He spoke, but he reopened his eyes and brushed it off. He had more important matters to deal with... like the humiliation he knew his supposed master would give him.

Jumping in your spot as you felt something on your shoulder interrupt your thoughts, you looked over and bit your bottom lip. You couldn't help but contemplate over your sight... what you had seen while meditating.

It was odd... like a ripple in time or a sort of... break within the flow of the universe.

You were stood in the black void, eyeing a dark figure... as they aimed for you... who had been sitting. It was like a lucid dream, or something to that matter, where you watched yourself—and someone else. But you, yourself before you in the chair, couldn't even feel someone behind you, there... in that alternate plane.

And you heard the voice...

_Who are you?_

Gulping, you took in a deep breath as you sat there, the sensation on your shoulder still lingering... as if someone had actually touched you... And not through a vision.

Rubbing your forehead and letting out a small yawn out of sheer boredom, you stood up. You definitely did not expect to be bored... after joining the First Order... While being a Force user.

Stretching out your limbs, letting out a small whine as you did so, the hat falling right off accidentally, you stood straight and lifted it with the Force, placing it on the chair. No one would see you so why should it matter?

Taking in a deep breath before releasing a heavy exhale, your breath hitched as the sounds around you suddenly went mute. Your focus was locked on the black, shiny wall before you. Something was there... behind it? Or was something, someone, actually there in a different plane of worlds?

Blinking and hearing your ears ring, you walked over to the wall, slowly, before you turned your head and rested your ear against it.

Aiming for where he knew to be the lift to Snoke's lair, Kylo's heart skipped a beat, slamming back into his chest and stopping his feet from moving any further.

Turning his head to the left, eyeing the silver wall, he could no longer hear the humming ship or vibrating air vents. Rather... a hollowed sound. Ghostly... It was haunting. But, it was pulling him towards the wall before him.

Unsure as to why, Kylo walked forward. Coming to a stop, nose nearly touching the silver surface... he leaned in and turned his head, resting it against the wall.

Then, he heard it... Someone's breathing. Someone's Force.

Then, you heard it. That one question. _Who are you?_

Taking in slow, deep breaths, Kylo's hand lifted up, removing his glove from his right hand before he reached over.

Sucking in a breath, you removed the glove from your left hand, both of them having gloves that came with the attire.

Slowly moving his hand to the wall, feeling a tingling sensation move up to his finger tips, the digits gently brushed against the surface.

Feeling your nails tap again the wall, you slowly rested your hand against it until your palm collided with the cold, hard, metal wall.

Pressing his palm against the wall before him, a shock shot through his body as a wave of voices flooded through his head.

Flinching in your spot as you felt something course through your veins, your breath hitched as images flashed in your mind.

Quickly taking a step back from the wall, Kylo glared.

Taking a small step back away from the wall, cautiously looking, your lips parted.

Staring at either end of the wall, Kylo turned on his heel and walked away as you turned back to your post, grabbing the data pad and sitting back down.

Whatever that was... it was unlike anything either of you felt before.


	17. Stillness

Looking at the time presented on the datapad, you stood with a sigh. Your supposed 'shift' had reached its end and it was time for dinner.

Hux had shown you around to a few necessary places to get you by before he had taken you to your post, claiming that—if you ever got lost—there was a map built into the datapad.

But your memory was decent and you now found yourself exiting the room and entering the halls.

It was dead silent, was the hallway always this way? It made no sense as to why Hux put you somewhere so empty when the Supreme Leader wanted you to blend in... Was he hiding you in plain sight?

Keeping the both hands on the datapad before you, you had eventually placed the hat you had to wear with the uniform back on. Something that you were growing to dislike.

Aiming down the walkways, taking the turns you remembered that lead to the mess hall, you could feel a round of presences nearby. The once empty halls reaching to its point of being no longer. You wondered why the area you were in was so barren when most other halls were always flowing with someone or something.

Feeling the tablet buzz, your eyebrows knitted before you lifted it up, a message:

**Your training will begin tomorrow at 0700 sharply. Meet where the map leads you to.**

Closing the message and opening up the map, you saw a blinking red dot, you opening it and seeing a small alert that read **Training, 0700**.

Taking in a deep breath, you were about to lower the tablet until you felt the world around you suddenly slow down. The people in distance echoing out as you could hear a sort of vibration... A hum, within your ears.

Feeling someone walk right past you, all in dark colors, you blinked. Standing still in your spot, you slowly looked over, but all you saw was a piece of cloth disappear from behind a wall as they turned a corner.

Gulping as you felt your left hand tingle, you shook it off before everything snapped back to normal. The distant sounds of troopers talking, officers scurrying, droids swiftly rolling past... You wondered if what had happened was all in your head or if...

Rubbing your head, blaming your hunger, you continued your walk down to where you knew you'd be able to finally eat after so long. You were so caught up in... everything to not realize that you had hardly eaten.

Stopping in his tracks as he had turned a corner, Kylo looked down at the black floor for a moment. Taking a step back and turning, he eyed either end of the hallway he had just come through, only to see a group of stormtroopers stomp by.

Sucking in a breath and pushing his hand trough his hair, he had the sudden urge to walk down where he just was. To feel... To _find_ what was calling to him. He felt the tug, the pull, the desire to waver from the path he was treading on.

But, he couldn't. So he turned around and walked down the way he was meant to go, letting out a deep exhale in hopes whatever it was that he was feeling in his chest and on his shoulders would dissipate.

Hopefully.

Entering the mess hall and seeing the mass of stormtroopers and officers, you rubbed the back of your neck. It was odd how you didn't feel out of place... It was possibly because, with all the traveling you had done in your lifetime, you really had no place to refer back to. Nothing made you feel as if you belonged or didn't belong. It all felt the same.

Grabbing a tray of food, not questioning what it was as you appreciated anything you got, you made your way to a table, empty, near a corner.

For a moment, you eyed your surroundings. How a few officers had been discussing important matters, troopers talking about something completely off the tangent of the First Order... then your head turned in front of you.

A stormtrooper, a female one that was, hair dark as night, held tightly into a low bun. Something about her aura... her Force, caught your attention.

_This isn't right._

_How are they all okay with this?_

_We've been turned into killers._

_Murderers._

_This isn't the life we're meant to have._

_I'm remembering it all slowly..._

_They failed to fully wipe me._

_Where's FN-2187?_

Leaning back slightly as you lowered your eyes from them, seeing them shift in their spot, you took in a small breath. Who was FN-2187?

Deciding not to take your sweet time eating and returning to your chambers, instead, you swiftly cleared your tray and placed it amongst the rest. It wasn't an odd sight to see an officer scarf their food down so quickly. Majority of them ate this way.

Watching the trooper place her helmet back on, standing up from her seat and emptying the tray she had, you decided to follow her out.

Keeping a safe distance and a steady pace, you held your tablet in one hand beside you.

Watching her turn a few corners, entering a deserted hall, you eyed a door that had no life forms behind it. Using the Force to open it, you quickly grabbed her and shoved her in.

Before she could grab her blaster, you forced the weapon out of her grip before you lifted your hand to her. "You will not yell."

"I will not yell."

Blinking, you took in a small breath. "You will tell me who FN-2187 is."

"FN-2187 was a friend of mine. Worked within the FN corps under sanitation. He and I were taken in to our first mission on Jakku to clear out a small village for the Commander to search for something. Since then, I don't know where he has gone. He's disappeared."

Nodding your head, you cleared your throat. "What do you want to do?"

"Defect. Go rogue. Escape. Find a way out of this life." She said with a flat expression. "Do what I believe FN-2187 did."

"What did FN-2187 do?"

"I'm not sure, but a group of us believe he did the same. That he helped the pilot escape and is now with the Resistance."

"What pilot?"

"A Resistance pilot that was held prison  under the watch of the Commander but escaped."

"The Commander..."

"Kylo Ren."

Lifting your eyes, you took in a small breath. "Where is your Commander?"

"He is on the Finalizer... But is rumored to be on this ship, now."

Nodding your head, you reached for their blaster and handed it to them before waving a hand. "You will not remember this conversation. You were in this room, trying to find a way to escape." At that, you slipped away before she noticed you were even there.

Walking down the hall and returning back to your quarters, you took in a small breath. So much that you didn't know about... So much you were unaware of. And, yet, here you were... About to be trained by the Supreme Leader himself because he wanted you to do a dirty deed for him.

For him, and you knew for a fact, the General. You could feel the bitterness drip from the red haired man like venom. He was more than glad to have you—what he imaged to be—an assassin, do what either of them couldn't do.

Sucking in a breath as you shook the thought away, thinking about the mere fact that your job was to overlook a panel and make sure nothing happened to it... for hours... made you groan.

Sure, you had no idea what the hell to do, but the least Hux could do was get someone to train you so you blended in better than just sitting there.

Huffing, you suddenly felt chills run down your spine as the world around you grew silent. No humming from the vessel. No echoing from the air. Nothing but... quietness.

Stopping in your wake, you blinked. Something was off... Someone was close. Behind you... You felt it... You felt _them_.

Taking in a small breath, you turned in your spot, slowly. Seeing the figure come into view, you recognized that backside... the dark attire and matching hair. You expected them to disappear, to slip from your grip as they always had... but then, they turned around... And you felt your breath hitch.

They were looking right at you, their dark eyes boring into your own... You knew that face. At least, from your visions. Ben Solo. Or... _Kylo Ren_.

Eyeing the towering man, you stood there still, silent... just as he had until he spoke. "Who are you?" That voice sent chills down your spine. You've heard it before... those exact three words with such a similar tone. Except now, much more clearer. "And why has the Force brought you to me?"

"Brought me to you?" You questioned, eyebrows furrowing. "I think the Force brought you to me." You corrected before he took a small step forward.

"Who are you?" He asked again, eyes not leaving your own unless to study your face. Something he seemed to have found himself doing, eyes bouncing around, always forcing them back on to your own. "I've never seen you before."

"Arya Vega." You introduced. "And you?"

"I think you know who I am." His eyebrow cocked, your face staying flat for that moment. "Or, you have heard of me."

"I like to keep my head low. Not focus on gossip or the daily updates on upper ranked officers. I come to do my job, eat, shower, sleep... Repeat." You lied, but he couldn't sense this. Not one bit of it seemed false. Your walls were high enough. "I assume you are an upper ranked officer."

"Commander."

"Commander..." You slowly nodded your head. "Commander Kylo Ren..."

"So, you do know."

"The title rings a bell. I've heard a thing or two..." You admitted.

"You've been in my head. I've felt you." He said as your eyebrows narrowed. "At least... subconsciously."

"You've been in mine, as well."

"The Force... it must be strong within you to take such control. Yet, I feel nothing from you. How?" He questioned as you lightly shrugged.

"I wish I could explain."

"The Force has brought us together for a reason."

"So it seems..." You breathed, the two of you now closer than before. "You're not really here..."

"Neither are you."

Eyeing one another, an echo of voices caught your attention as you looked over... only to look back ahead as Kylo was gone. The world snapping back to reality. Eyeing the spot he was once standing in, you sucked in a breath.

If he wasn't truly there in front of you... then where was he? And how was it that you saw him so clearly as if he were actually there?


	18. There Is Only Power

That night had gone by terribly slow, tossing and turning on your now comfortable bed. It was far better than the cot you slept on before, although nearly just as small. There was more cushion, at least.

Waking up naturally to an early time, sitting up and rubbing your face, you eyed the data pad. You had an hour before training with Snoke...

A part of you was anticipating it, although not afraid, you were cautious. You knew what you were about to step into.

Taking a few minutes to meditate, you crossed your legs and sat there, repeating what you had done the day before.

_A bed..._

_Four dark walls..._

_The air humming in the vents..._

_The people passing..._

_Life..._

_Stars..._

_Planets..._

_The open space..._

_The galaxy..._

_The universe..._

Opening your eyes and seeing the tall walls that kept you safe, constantly shifting in height, you lowered your gaze ahead of you. Someone was there.

It wasn't Ben... you hadn't seen Ben in some time and wondered as to what happened. Was it because you had stowed yours— _his_ —lightsaber away? Or was it because you had met Kylo Ren... through the Force?

Just about to walk over to whoever it was, a sudden wall appeared before you, sending you stumbling back and knocking you right out of your vision.

Swallowing as you opened your eyes, you rubbed your face. A part of you believed, or wanted to, that that had been Kylo. Although they were far off, the hair was a give away... but not the attire. It wasn't the same as before.

Standing from your bed and preparing for the day ahead of you, you showered and walked out in a robe, over to your closet. Sliding the door open and walking up to where the folded up black clothing was, you pulled it out and let it fall open.

It was far different than what you had with Luke... The top portion was long sleeved, tight at your arms as you had pulled it on. It was hugging your torso unlike what you had worn on Ahch-To. Much more constraining. It had a tight turtleneck... and the bottom part had been short and had a pair of slits for your legs to move with mesh shorts underneath. Everything was tight, showing your figure far more than the 'Jedi' robes. Although much like the dress you had... this was less breathable.

Then, there was the boots, reaching mid calf as the stocking were much like the shorts, long enough to almost be a part of them. Everything was black and blending together. Some parts being off black, nearly gray, while others were pitch black. You had gloves as well, much like the wraps you had worn before except in leather; every inch of you covered except your face. A belt and... a hooded cape that barely touched the ground.

Taking in a deep breath and eyeing yourself in the mirror of your wash room, you huffed. This was much different than what you had before... then again, you weren't one to get used to things when it was always temporary. _Always_.

"For the Force. For myself. For _him_." You said to yourself before exiting your room, making your way to where you knew Snoke had been waiting.

Walking with your back straight, head high, keeping a stoic look on your face. " _An anchor._ " Anakin's words echoed within your head. You had to remember why you were there. Why you were doing this. You had to keep a strong mind. And keep an anchor.

Entering the lift and waiting for it to bring you to Snoke, you took in a small breath. "The dark side of the Force is just as powerful as the light side. If you abuse it, manipulate it to your advantage... it has its flaws. It's disadvantages. It's side effects." Hearing Ben's words, fresh, as if he were speaking to you, you lifted your head as the doors opened.

"My new apprentice..." Snoke spoke, his eerie voice breathing against the walls as it vibrated in your ears. "I sense much greatness from within you... The Force. It's calling to me."

Walking towards the throne, you knelt before him. "The dark side. I sense the conflict within you. The flickering light. The sparks. It is dying out within you. Let the darkness consume you... Then, you will be the greatest you could ever be."

Looking up at him, taking in slow breaths, you heard the words again. _An anchor_. "Are you ready to begin your training?" Nodding your head, Snoke extended out his arm. "Then, let us begin."

Walking through the halls of the Supremacy, Kylo felt an imbalance... a change in the Force around him. It was hard to grasp, to understand... to see what it was. Slowing in his tracks, he could hear static. Something was trying to reach out to him, to communicate, but something was holding it back. Something was holding _him_ back.

Letting out a small breath and dismissing it, his thoughts reverted to the day before... his encounter through the Force. He couldn't quite understand it, how he was connected to someone he had never seen before. Someone he had never heard of.

Your face was imprinted in his mind. Your voice... yet, nothing from your Force was felt. Absolutely nothing. He couldn't understand as to how someone he couldn't sense, was able to connect... create a bond with him.

But, how? Were you Force sensitive? You must've been in order to have seen him the way you have. To have connected Forces in order to communicate. But, who were you? He didn't know you and you didn't know him. Or, so he assumed.

You had to have been strong in the Force, but, if you were... you would've been sensed long ago. And, with the attire you were in, you must've worked alongside the Order for quite some time. So how had he... How had Snoke, not sensed you?

It was starting to eat at him, he was curious. He was suspicious. Who were you? Where were you? Were you on the same ship as him? Almost all of the ships were built the exact same way so he couldn't tell...

Maybe he could reach out to you again, somehow. But, how? He wasn't even sure as to how you came to him... or how he went to you.

Then, he thought... Maybe this was his chance to pick up from his mistakes. To move on. To find... assistance elsewhere. Within you. But, first, he had to gain your trust.

"We are not the Sith." Snoke spoke as he stood before you. "We learned from their mistakes. From their failure." He waved his hand as you stayed silent, listening. "The Sith insisted the importance of... passion and the rejection of peace. That is not what we will do. Yes, your passion will guide you, but the peace of the galaxy... the peace the First Order will bring under our ruling. That will lead us to victory. Crushing the Resistance once and for all. Ending this war." He closed his fist as you kept your eyes on him.

"There is no Rule of Two. There is no Sith Code. No. There is only power... The dark side of the Force. Our victory." He continued, only to come to a stop before you as he had been pacing. "We will start with consume essence. Channeling the darkness within you. Focusing on your fear... hate... Anything and everything negative within you."

"What are you afraid of?" Snoke asked, looking you in the eye, icy blue eyes boring into your own.

"Failure." _An anchor_. "Losing sight of who I am meant to be." _An anchor_. "Death." _An anchor_.

"A failure... you will not be if you open up to me." He said, looking down at you. "You will not be a failure if you let the darkness fully consume you. Skywalker... he has fed you lies. Everything he had said. He was only using you. Wanting you to do what he couldn't do... For you to be his weapon. To take his place. To be his puppet."

_An anchor._

"You need to prove your loyalty to me. Prove to me that you will not fail me. That you will do what is right. That you will be the one to protect the name of the First Order and kill any who get in the way." Snoke pointed his boney finger at you, the gold ring catching your attention. The dark stone that sat on top of it. "I will send you on your first task. You will do me a great honor if you succeed... If you fail, there will be consequences." Shifting your eyes back to him, Snoke gave you an eerie grin. "You will tap into the dark side of the Force and use it."

_An anchor._

"Yes, Supreme Leader." You bowed your head.

"Now, reach into the deepest and darkest parts of your mind. Find those fears. What enrages you... What you hate... Let it guide you. Let it give you strength... And, from there, you will be able to defeat Kylo Ren. Once and for all."


	19. There's More To It

Rolling your shoulders, feeling your muscles ache as a weight was felt against your chest, you took in a deep breath. You were trying your best, trying to keep your walls high and your mind set on your anchor. Anything to keep you stable... but something, something was there, lingering, and you felt it. Like a shadow. Like someone's eyes on you.

Changing into your uniform, you took in a small breath, standing there for a moment as you felt the world around you grow quiet. The wind silent and the vessel no longer humming. Shutting your eyes for a moment, sounds echoed within your ears and head, faint voices calling out but unclear. The words they had been speaking were incomprehensible.

Opening your eyes and seeing a dark forrest, poorly lit, your heart fluttered.

_Peace is a lie. There is only Passion._

_Through Passion I gain Strength._

_Through Strength I gain Power._

_Through Power I gain Victory._

_Through Victory my chains are Broken._

_The Force shall free me._

Feeling yourself walk without you putting yourself to, as if someone else had been pulling you by a thread attached to your ankles, the haunting voices echoed within your head. Everywhere you looked, nothing but dark trees, the sky non existent, the world feeling cold.. Frigid air sending chills down your spine and making your blood run cold.

... _would be a good asset_...

A hallowed voice passed through your ears.

... _join us or die_...

The deeper you walked into the forrest, the more voices spoke to you. Echoed around you. Haunted you.

_The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities..._

_I can feel your anger. It gives you focus. Makes you stronger..._

_Know the power of the Dark Side..._

... _quest for greater power_...

Seeing the forrest become darker and darker, the world around you disappearing as you grew deeper into its darkest pits, your heart raced.

**_POWER!_ **

**_UNLIMITED POWER!_ **

Hearing the thunderous voice, you forced yourself away. Snapping out of it with a heavy breath, your focus returned to your bedroom, everything returning to normal. The sounds around you tuning back into your ears, the hum of the ship vibrating underneath your feet as the gentle winds lifted strands of your hair.

Putting on the hat that you had to wear with your uniform, you sucked in a breath before reaching towards the open button of your door, only for your hand to linger. Something... Someone was behind that door. You felt that same sensation like you did when you were behind the wall.

Instantly hitting the open button, you saw no one. But, you knew, you knew someone was there.

Scanning the hall, you walked right out. It was empty and quiet, not a single officer, droid or stormtrooper near. Knitting your eyebrows, you walked along, continuously looking over your shoulder. You could still feel them... You could sense them. They were close. But, where were they?

Picking up the pace, feeling the Force grow stronger, as if it had a grip on you, you looked over your shoulder once more. No one was there, but, why did it feel like it? Sucking in a breath and whipping your head forward, your eyes landed on black fabric disappearing from a corner.

Quickly following it, hearing buzzing within your ears, you nearly slid as you turned the corner. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. "What in the galaxy..." You mumbled, eyebrows furrowing as your eyes searched the area. there were no doors, just the hall itself. Just about to walk ahead, you stopped in your tracks, a voice then speaking from behind you.

"You..." Turning around, you took in a small breath.

"Me?" You questioned. "Are you trying to reach out to me?" You asked. "I keep feeling something... As if something is calling to me."

"No. But I had a feeling this was it. You were bound to appear again... Only in a matter of time. I expected it." He said... _Kylo_ said.

"Why is this happening?" You asked. "Why do I keep seeing you? You were the one behind the door... weren't you?" Your eyebrows narrowed as you leaned forward the slightest.

Staring at you for a moment, he made a sudden revelation, "And you were the one behind the wall..."

"The wall?" You questioned, only to remember what had happened not that long ago. That presence you felt behind that wall, just like you had behind the door earlier. "The wall..."

"It was you, wasn't it?" He lifted his chin, you nodding.

"And it was you behind the door..."

"Not physically." Kylo said as your eyebrows narrowed. "But, through the Force, yes."

"How is it that we're seeing each other, if you're not really there?" You lifted a brow, taking a step closer as he kept his focus locked on you.

"The Force." He simply said. "You're sensitive to it. I know that. You must be... How else can I be seeing you right now?" He said as he took a small step towards you, you craning your neck to look up. "Where are you?"

"Where are _you_?"

"You're somewhere here... Somewhere near. I can feel it... I just can't sense your life Force." Eyeing you, studying you, Kylo turned his head slightly. "Your presence feels as if it's right there, but no one is. I'm alone here... In a hall. Can you see it?"

"No." You answered. "Can you see where I am?"

"No."

Blinking, you took a small step back. "This is going to keep happening, isn't it?" Looking him in the eyes as his own bored into yours, you took in a small breath.

"So it may seem..." He softly spoke, eyes shifting around your face. "There's a reason this is happening... You'll find me. And I'll find you."

"And when that time comes, what will you do?" You asked, although you were sure you already knew the answer to that. "I'm a mere officer and you're a... Commander."

"No, there's more to it." He said, voices suddenly filling in from behind you, his words seeping into your head before you looked away, "There's more to _you_."

Seeing the hallway suddenly fill with officers and marching stormtroopers, rolling droids that zoomed past you, you blinked. Taking in a deep breath, you resumed to what you were doing, returning to your post. Kylo's words lingered in your head the rest of the day. Your encounter with him feeling fresh. Something was bringing you to him, and it wasn't your bond with the lightsaber.


	20. A Veil of Darkness

The sound of a lightsaber's buzz filled your ears. The unfamiliar hum muting out any other noises as you stood there, a burning sensation in your abdomen as the only thing in your line of vision were bright red sparks, burning from a lightsaber. A lightsaber that was pierced right through you.

Forcing yourself awake, panting, panicking, you wiped the sweat from your forehead. Taking in deep breaths, you realized the air was still and there was no sound, which only meant...

"Nightmare?" Hearing the voice, _his_ voice, you sat up and swallowed.

Kylo's back was facing you, but he had just put his shirt on, you barely seeing his back dimples as your cheeks flourished with heat. "Somewhat..." Looking at him, studying him, Kylo slowly turned and faced you.

"I sensed your distress through our... connection. Brought me to you. One second, I was pulling my pants on, the next, you're right there. Crying." He said, clipping his belt on and adjusting it before looking at you.

"H- How are... Do you see my bed?" You asked but Kylo shook his head.

"You're on my bed." He stated. "At least, to me you are. Made me wonder as to how you got there, seeing as I clearly didn't sleep with anyone last night."

Shaking your head, eyebrows narrowing, you sighed. "I'm on _my_ bed... You just can't see it..." Rubbing your eyes and removing your sheets from you, Kylo turned his attention and focused on you.

"Nightmares are common amongst the officers." He stated. "Stormtroopers suffer the most, but officers get them as well. It's usually due to the stress they have on them. The higher the title, the more frequent they become. Possibly why the General looks like pure shit."

Lifting your eyebrows, you let out a small laugh, Kylo looking at you in slight contemplation. He didn't intend to sound funny, he was being truthful, be he found it nice that you found amusement in his words. Maybe you agreed. Maybe you thought the General needed some not so well deserved 'beauty' rest. "Well, I'm sure nearly everyone here needs some sleep."

Slowly nodding his head, Kylo crossed his arms. "Like you."

"Excuse me?" He nearly snapped, arms instantly unfolding.

Standing up, you shook your head. "I'm not attacking you, Commander. I'm just... You need sleep, too. I can see it in your eyes. You're not doing so great."

"I'm doing just fine." Lie. "I don't need you to pity me."

"I'm not..." You breathed, trying to reason with him, not wanting to be on his bad side. "Look... Just, forget I said anything." Shaking your head, you looked down for a moment.

Eyeing you, Kylo bit down and looked away. You weren't being rude or throwing harsh attacks his way... You were being sincere and you were concerned, he just was always on edge and ready to fight anyone. Literally. "Most new officers tend to have nightmares more than not." He changed the subject as you looked up. "You get used to it or you grow out of it. Maybe you'll find a way to escape it."

Eyeing him, surprised that he had a change of heart, you nodded. "Yeah... Hopefully." Pushing your fingers back over your head and through your hair, you sighed. "May I ask how did you become a commander?" Looking over at you, he took in a small breath. "Did you go up the titles or..."

"No, it was given. I've had it for years now." Kylo admitted as you nodded. "It's been my title for some time now, there are other commanders, different sanctions, different areas of the Order. For pilots, for the stormtroopers... I'm not the only one. But I'm the most known." He explains.

"And, why's that?" You questioned, although very well knowing the answer, you acted oblivious. 

Scoffing, he lightly smirked, "Aside the obvious? That I'm a Force user and the-" Stopping himself, he swallowed, a long pause following. "I have... Anger issues, if you must."

"So... They know you for your anger?" You lifted an eyebrow, that, you really didn't know.

"Not many people go around carrying fiery blades that could easily cut a man in half. I, instead, destroy... control panels and whole rooms out of anger and aggression. It's the only way to let out my rage without killing people. Although, I have nearly killed... someone from my anger. Force choking." He admitted, you staying quiet. He was opening up more than you expected him too. It must've been the connection. You were sure if anyone else had asked, they would have met his fiery blade.

"May I ask... Where you are?"

"The Supremacy. Even though I'm normally on the Finalizer... Snoke wants to keep me close for reasons." Kylo easily answered, you not questioning this. You believed he had found some trust within you. A surprise, especially when he hardly knew you.

"And, where are you exactly right now? Like, I'm in my quarters..."

"I'm in mine, as well."

"Were you watching me sleep?" You suddenly ask as Kylo nearly chocked.

"No!" He shouted. "I told you- I said I found you sleeping, I felt your-"

"I know, I'm teasing you." You grinned, only to hear your data pad buzz. Turning and looking at it, you swallowed. Snoke was requesting your presence. "I have... work to get to." You spoke hesitantly and Kylo caught this.

Eyeing as you turned around, his eyes narrowed for a moment. "I'll learn more about you in time." At that, he disappeared, you letting out a small breath as you stood there before walking to your washroom to shower and change.

Throughout your shower, you couldn't help but think about your death. It was worrying you, it felt too real. Insanely real. Like a vision. And it was starting to eat away at the back of your brain as a newfound fear.

Aiming to Snoke's throne room after getting dressed, you kneeled before him before he spoke up, waving a hand and gesturing for you to stand before him.

"The Resistance... They are fleeing their base, they know we have come to them. I need you to find any survivors, find out where it is that they are headed to..." Snoke said, slow and deep voice echoing. "And then, slaughter them all. Prove your loyalty to me, the First Order... and the dark side."

"Yes, Supreme Leader." You bowed your head.

"I have... a gift for you." He stood, you watching. "I collect lightsabers from the fallen Sith, keep them as... prizes, if you must. And I think that a certain one suits you best. You will learn to adapt to it. To wield it. To thrust it with your anger, hate and fear." Reaching his hand out, you looked down. "A double edge lightsaber from one of the Sith..."

Eyeing it, seeing the long silver hilt that was scattered in red buttons, you took in a small breath. "Darth Maul's lightsaber..." His eerie voice hummed in your ears as he stood before you, a bone chilling smile on his... non-existent lips. "By far, one of my favorites... Aside a duo set. But, I want you to have it. To use it out on the field. Feel the _power_ it has."

Reaching out for it, taking in a small breath, you grabbed onto the hilt with tingling fingertips. How were you supposed to carry something that long on your hip?

Feeling the weight in your palms, you eyed the weapon, studying it. You could use one blade or both... A shame you couldn't somehow detach and reattach the hilt.

"Four of my guards will be joining you on this mission, just to make sure the deed is done... I don't need any wavering or lies. Lying does not sit well with me, young Vega." Snoke pointed a finger at you as you bowed your head, as if submitting yourself to him. Saying you wouldn't waver. That you'd do whatever it took to gain his full trust.

Waving two of his fingers for the selected guards to walk forward, they lowered their weapons and stood beside their... yours, _the_ Supreme Leader. "Take my personal shuttle." Snoke ordered as the four guards all nodded in sync. As if they all were one.

Taking the lead, the four guards cladded in red armor walked before you, you bowing your head before turning and following the guards. Eyeing the hilt that now sat in your glove covered palms, you sucked in a breath before you lifted the hood from your robe, stuffing the lightsaber into an inner pocket, amazed that it was able to fit with its length.

Once exiting the lift, you walked the halls at the center of the four. It almost looked as if you were some mysterious being, dressed in all black at the center of four red warriors. An unusual sight to see, but, you assumed—in the world you lived in—it really wasn't.

Of course, that didn't stop the eyes that scanned you for a moments worth before looking away, knowing it was none of their business.

Entering the Supremacy's hangar, you walked along before entering a shuttle. One much like a few others surrounding it. Black, long wings... except, it had hints of silver and red. You assume it was to stick out for the rest; so everyone knew who the Supreme Leader was when he'd be making a grand entrance.

The moment your feet had hit the ground of D'Qar, you didn't hesitate. An energy... a dark one, that is, took over you. Although not fully consuming you, it was taking advantage. The quicker you did this, the quicker you'd be done. And your mind liked to remind you that the Resistance was nothing to you. You weren't a part of it and they never did anything for you... so, why should you care?

 _An anchor_. The words echoed in your head as you bit down.

Force pushing and pulling, slinging bodies left and right, letting the guards finish off those who had somehow survived the harsh tug in the Force, you reached into your robe and grabbed the hilt. You'd have to use it eventually and Force pushing and pulling could only do so much. And you knew very well that these red guards were loyal to Snoke and would tell him anything.

 _Anything_.

Even if you hesitated for a moment to show aggression. So, you did what you had to do. You did what it took to gain the Supreme Leader's full trust and (possibly) respect.

The second you ignited the lightsaber, a surge of greed was felt through you. The desire for power. It was overbearing and overcoming you. The way the harsh red light reflected off of human skin before connecting with it. The way you spun it and made a fan of red hues to block blaster shots. The weapon was one of a kind and you couldn't help but... enjoy it.

An anchor.

Sucking in a harsh breath, you fought against your morale. The piece of you that knew all of it... all that you were doing, was bad. And, for what reason exactly? To blend in? To find your place? To save someone you hardly knew?

Shaking the thoughts away, you continued to fight. Harder and harder until the numbers dwindled. Until your bones ached. Until your muscles begged for you to stop.

Taking a step back, watching as the Praetorian guards slaughtered the last bit of Resistance soldiers... you swallowed. The sight before you was flooding your vision and mind, a piece of you knowing it was all so wrong. A part of you screamed out to be grounded.

But then, one of the guards approached you and gestured for you to follow, presenting you to one last soldier. The soldier you'd have to get information from.

Standing before him, eyeing their disgusted expression that was layered with distress, you spoke. "Where is the Resistance going?"

"Why should I tell you?" He snapped. It was obvious he wouldn't tell you—the enemy—so easily. You were trying to go the easy way, well, hard way for you, easy for him. But, it seemed as if you couldn't. It was obvious. You were now going to have to put your supposed dark side abilities to 'good' use.

"I was trying to go the easy route, but, I guess not." You shook your head, reaching your hand out, taking the energy from them as they fell to their knees with a grunt, the inability to move any muscle except the ones on their face taking over. "Tell me, what you know." You spoke, slow, low enough for them to hear.

"I won't... give you... anything." They grunted.

Glaring, your fingers slowly curled up as a scream rumbled within the mans throat, a harsh pressure felt in their skull as if it were being squeezed. Clenching your jaw and feeling your anger and impatience take over, you spoke again, "What are their plans? Where are they going?"

"I s-said... I won't t-tell... you! Gah!" They shouted, eyes filling with tears, their screams suddenly fading away from your ears as you looked deeply into their thoughts... into their mind, and (somehow) you found yourself right beside him.

The two of you were standing amongst the mess of Resistance members scurrying about, boarding X-Wings and Bombers, transporters as well. Lifting your head and seeing the ships all go in the same direction, you then lowered your head, your eyes landed on a woman who was dressed in a navy blue color, the man instantly approaching her. "General, you must board a transport. There is no time to stay behind!"

"Make sure everyone is off of this base." She asserted, the soldier nodding.

"Will do ma'am." With a bow of his head, you were thrusted out, your anger getting the best of you. You got nothing out of it except the fact that they were all headed in the same direction. A Flagship.

Standing there, now seeing the man at his knees before you, your nose flared as your fist instantly closed, the sound of bone crushing suddenly snapping you out of the rage that had taken over you.

Blinking, feeling the heat in your veins and body suddenly evaporate, you blinked at the sight before you. The crushed skull. The dead man. "We're done here."


	21. Manipulation

"Wonderful! Absolutely... wonderful." Snoke clapped, stepping off of his throne and aiming for you as you stood there, the guards now back to their places. "I knew you had it in you all along. Of course you do! You just needed that... Push..." Snoke's voice lowered as his hand reached out, his claw of a nail reaching out and dragging along your cheek. If you weren't solid like a stone with the lack of emotion you were trying to carry, you would've shivered. Gagged, if that. The feeling was anything but lovely. It was uncomfortable but you kept your stoic face. Even with the close proximity.

"I have never been more proud. Hux... He tries his best but, not enough. Then, there's Kylo Ren." He nearly snarled. "You are far better than him, my child." He grinned as you looked him in his not-so-thrilling crystal blue eyes. "He is a failure. A disappointment. He thought that killing the Jedi for me was enough to prove his loyalty to his master and the darkness!" Snoke snickered, something in you snapping at his words. Words that you'd have to ponder over later.

"You... on the other hand. I feel that full connection to the darkness. No wavering light. You have nothing... Nothing to protect. Nothing for you. No one there to pull you back. You are no one." Standing there, taking in small breaths, you lowly swallowed. "Unlike him... he has that wretched family of his who are so tied to the light and their false and misdirected hope." He seethed, clenching his fist.

"You... You will succeed and be the greatest. Away with the Skywalker bloodline, they are nothing." Snoke shook his head, looking you in the eye as you felt a small shiver run up your back. Then, he caressed your face and you could almost feel your lip want to twitch up in disgust. Was he like this towards Kylo in his early days of training? You had hoped not. "Your duty may be fulfilled sooner than you think." He laughed, breath hitting your skin as you lowered your eyes for a moment. "You will kill Kylo Ren in the days to come."

Taking a step back, he turned and aimed back to his throne, sitting and dismissing you. "You are free to return to your chambers, Vega." Bowing your head, you turned and walked away. The second you entered the lift and the second the doors shut, you took in a shaky breath.

 _He thought that killing the Jedi for me was enough to prove his loyalty to his master and the darkness!_ Hearing the words vibrate within your head, you shut your eyes for a moment as you looked down, thinking about Ben. Where was he? Why wasn't he within your sanctuary that was the high walls in your mind?

Rubbing your forehead as your eyes opened, the lift opened and you aimed towards your chambers. You needed a shower. A long one.

Walking through the quiet halls, you rolled your neck and shoulders, rubbing your back as your mind went blank. Something it never did.

Then, it all came crashing in. Your actions, what you had done earlier. Killing... Slaughtering... Murdering everyone in your sight including that man you forced your way into their head. You could hear it, their groans and screams of pain... The mans head crushing. Over and over... and over again.

Covering your ears as you gritted your teeth, you took in deep breaths, panting. Your sweat was resurfacing, forming on your forehead, beading up as you clenched your eyes shut. But, that made it worse. You could see it as if it were there. As if it were happening all over again.

Shoving yourself into your living quarters, you stripped off your clothes, the heat becoming overbearing as you rushed over to your washroom. Your breathing was becoming faster, your chest heaving. The cracking sound becoming louder and louder in your head.

_Crack!_

_Crack!_

_Crack!_

Forcing the water on with... the Force, you instantly stepped into the shower and allowed the cold water to soak you up, free you from your burning body. You stood there for nearly forty minutes. The sounds lessening out, your haunting memories slowly fading away.

But, still, you felt that weight on your chest. And it was heavy.

You were deep in your head, within your secure walls... Walls that continued to shift.

Standing there, hair dripping as you held the tie of the robe you now wore in your mind, you took in a small breath. "Hold tight onto your anchor, you can't let the darkness consume you."

Quickly turning around, your breath hitched. "Ben?"

"Keep a strong grip on the light and never let it go. Don't fail it like I had." Eyeing him, you so badly wanted to reach out, but he disappeared in an instant. And then, so did you.

Opening up your eyes, taking in a deep breath, you rested your hand against the cold shower wall before turning off the water. Pushing back the curtain and walking out, you dried yourself up enough before wrapping your towel around your body, wet hair dripping as you got a hold of it and grabbed the end of your towel to get the excess water out.

Exiting your washroom, you instantly gasped, "Kylo?!" Seeing the backside of the man in all black, he turned around, eyes landing on you as his head instantly lowered, the sight of you making him gulp. Deeply inhaling, Kylo turned his head to a side and looked elsewhere.

"I have... no control over this. You should know this by now." Lifting his chin and now looking up at the ceiling—the ceiling where he was—Kylo's eyes trailed over to you for a moment, only to snap them back up as you blushed.

"Yeah... I know. But-" Cutting yourself off, you sighed. "Look, this is going to keep happening for who knows how long so I think we should take advantage of it."

"Take advantage?" Kylo asked with knitted eyebrows, looking over at you, only to freeze up as his eyes landed on your chest. Blinking and tightening his jaw, he was about to look away but you crossed your arms.

"Yes. I mean, we should get to know each other. You know?" You shrugged, Kylo forcing his eyes up.

"Get to know each other?" He lifted an eyebrow as you nodded. "Okay, fine. What is it that you do?"

"Man controls. Make sure they're working... Nothing fun." You answered, truthfully. Wasn't like he asked why you were on the Supremacy. All he knew was that you were an officer and... well, a Force sensitive with the newfound connection.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty four."

Nodding his head, he crossed his arms. "Where are you from?"

"Corellia." At your answer, Kylo's eyebrows lightly narrowed. Corellia... He couldn't help but think about-

"Are you a good pilot?"

 _Yes_. "I don't know, I've never flown." You shrugged. "Why? Is it because Corellians are usually good pilots?" You arched an eyebrow as he eyed you, as if you caught him.

"Possibly..."

"What about you?" You nudged your head.

"What about me?" He questioned, almost in a defensive manner.

"Well, what's your age? Where are you from? Are _you_ a good pilot?" You smirked as Kylo narrowed his eyebrows. At first, with the look on your face, you thought you'd have to guilt trip him but then he spoke.

"Twenty nine. Chandrila. Yes."

"You're not one to... converse, huh?" You placed your hands on your hips, tilting your head.

"Fine, ask me something else if you're so desperate to know about me."

"Desperate?" You snickered, then took a step forward. "Alright, what can Commander Ren do? What makes him so special?"  You looked him in the eyes, as if he were physically there, the man looking right down at you.

"I can easily destroy any panel with my lightsaber whenever anyone upsets or questions me." He spoke in a dangerously low voice.

"Is that a threat?" You took a step closer. If you two were physically in front of each other, you'd almost feel his breathing against your face.

"Now that I know you work at a panel, I'll be extra cautious." Kylo smirked for a moments worth, "I still have a lot to learn about you." Nodding your head, he spoke once more before turning away and leaving your sight. "Sleep well, officer."

Eventually finding yourself fast asleep in bed, hair still damp, you clutched onto the sheets as you lightly whimpered in your sleep.

"No! Keep your focus on the darkness! You are not a true Skywalker if you can't do something so simple!" Snoke's voice boomed as he stood before... Kylo. A younger Kylo, easily five years or so ago. "You will _never_ be like Darth Vader!" Watching electricity shoot from Snoke's fingertips, Kylo was sent to his knees, grunting in pain.

Wanting to rush over, the world around you suddenly changed. Hearing grunting coming from behind you, you turned. Kylo was being outnumbered, fighting as hard as he could, sweat dripping from his nose and trickling down his shoulders.

"You are not fighting hard enough!" Snoke yelled. "You are not trying hard enough!" Waving his hand as the men Kylo had been fighting backed away, Snoke stormed up to him. "You are nothing but a failure, you will never succeed. You will never rule the galaxy if you keep fighting the way you do!"

"I am trying my best!" Suddenly, the sound of a smack made you flinch. Snoke's hand coming into contact with Kylo's cheek, his nails breaking the skin and causing blood to drip down his face.

" _You_ are not trying hard enough!" Snoke seethed, the look in Kylo's eyes making your eyes flinch from the tears that filled them. "You disgust me."

"I promise... I will try harder..." Kylo panted, Snoke's hand now gripping tightly onto the young mans top.

"Try? No. You will _do_."

Forcing yourself awake, you felt your chest tighten as your cheeks fell cold from the tears that stained them. The pain in Kylo's eyes, the look of defeat... the suffering. The injuries. The abuse.

The manipulation.

It made you feel disgusted, even in your own skin, to see... to watch such thing happen. And you knew it was real. You couldn't possibly dream something so... vivid and cruel.

And then you wondered, how often had this happened?

Seeing what time it was, you decided to just start your day. Although you felt slower than usual and had a lack of motivation, you tried your best. _Tried_.

Something didn't feel right, something pressed against you... an outer force. But, you couldn't tell what.

Now sitting at your post, leaning back in your chair as you eyed the panel, you instantly sat up as you heard a strange sound. As if an echo in the wind.

Slowly turning in your spot, your heart skipped a beat. It was silent, but you could easily tell what was happening. Kylo was being yelled at, ridiculed... and then, hit.

Flinching every time Snoke's hand came into contact with Kylo's skin or when shock was sent throughout his body, your breathing quickened

Shutting your eyes hard enough, you reopened them and now saw Kylo hunched forward, slowly removing his shirt, hissing in pain. Marks scattered his body. Black and blues, scars... the aftermath of the electricity that was bolted through his veins.

Seeing him reach for his shower, he only fell to his knees, hands clutched to his sides as he grunted. Then, little by little, tears slipped and splashed onto the ground. He was shaking, his eyes were shut tightly and his jaw was clenched harshly. Your heart snapped. You wanted to pull him out of there, away from his misery... but, you knew it was too late.

It was in the past.

Sitting in a private sector of the infirmary, a droid worked away at the bandage on Kylo's scar. The silence being filled with nothing but the hum of the floating droid as his eyes wondered.

His mind wondered.

It wondered to you. To what you had said. You so easily answered his questions... and he had to you.

There was definitely more to you that he was curious about. And there was definitely more to the bond.


	22. Closer

"I saw it... I saw it all. The abuse. The pain... The misery. It was _awful_." You said as you sat there, legs crossed, amongst the shifting white walls of your mind. "Ben... He's so mentally scarred. Mentally and physically."

"There's still time to save him." Ben said, sitting before you. "To save me."

"He just won't let me in."

"That's as far as you know." Looking him in the eyes, your eyebrows scrunched up. "How else were you able to have these visions? Those dreams?"

Thinking about it, you looked down. "There's an opening... There must be..." You realized. "I must've done something to get into his mind, to see his memories, without realizing it."

"You can get closer to him. Gain his trust. Reach out to him." Nodding your head, you opened your eyes from your meditation. Sitting at your post, you let out a small breath and reached through the Force, in hopes that it'd work.

"Kylo..." You breathed.

Standing in the shower and feeling the hot water steam off of his body as he pushed his hair back and away from his eyes, wiping his face, Kylo looked up at the ceiling as his hands came to a stop. A pull in the Force... A tug.

It was... you?

Shutting the water, exiting the shower and drying himself up, Kylo wrapped a towel around his waist.

Sitting there, biting on your thumb nail, you then heard a voice... Kylo's voice. "You called?"

"Yes, I-" Turning and cutting yourself off, you gulped. The water dripping from his chest so... gracefully. So graceful that if you stared long enough, you'd start imagining a waterfall. "If I had known it was a bad timing..."

"Well, we did... connect yesterday and you were in your towel. It was bound that it would happen to me, as well." Kylo said as you shifted your eyes up to meet his, the water dripping from the ends of his hair, some sticking to his forehead before he pushed it back. "Why did you... _call_?"

"Uh, well... I wanted to try it out?" You shrugged, but Kylo knew that was a lie.

"No... That's not why." He narrowed his eyes for a moment, aiming towards you, small steps at a time. "There's a reason..."

Looking up at him and swallowing, hating how close he got to you but also very much enjoying it—although you'd never admit—you took a small step back. "Okay, fine. I wanted us to get... closer."

"Closer?" Kylo's eyebrows knitted, amazed by your statement. Why would you want to get close to him? Someone you haven't physically met yet. Someone you still hardly knew?

"Yes. Closer." You nodded, Kylo crossed his arms as you looked at them, eyes lingering longer than they should at his flexed muscles.

"Closer, huh..." He lifted his chin. "Tell me more about yourself, Vega." Kylo lifted an eyebrow as you sucked in a small breath.

"I guess that's... fair enough." Pushing some loose strands of hair behind your ear, you breathed, "Where do I start?"

"The beginning. As far as you can remember."

"What, do you want to know my whole life story?" Your eyebrows knitted as Kylo shrugged.

"Just about."

"Will you tell me yours?"

"Not a chance."

Scoffing, you rolled your eyes. "Fine, I'm only sharing since I insisted this because I actually want to know the person I'm connected to by an outside force."

Watching you cross your arms, Kylo shook his head. "Relax, I'll tell you about myself... Eventually."

Looking up at him, you only took in a small breath before you started. "Well... Like I said, I was born on Corellia. Had a set of parents who, you know, thought would last a while but things don't always flow nicely in life. They passed away as I was at a young age, easily three... And then I was taken in to this couple. Who, I would never consider in a million years, to be my parents." You opened up, Kylo standing quietly, listening.

"My supposed 'parents' weren't all that lovely. Definitely not someone I'd leave my kids with if I ever had any..." You chuckled, ironically. "They were a terrible example of what I'm supposed to idolize or want to be when I _grow_ _up_." You sighed.

"They were neglectful more often than not. Plenty of times I found myself lost in shoppes or roads, in the middle of forests... I was only a toddler when it first happened. Easily five years old. They left me behind at a busy road filled with vendors and I had never been so scared in my life."

Staying silent, allowing you to speak, Kylo kept his focus on you. The way you fiddled your thumbs, how you lacked eye contact... How you were fighting your emotions.

"But, hey! I was a kid, I didn't know I was adopted by the galaxy's most neglectful, abusive, and manipulative parents!" You shook your head as you swallowed. At the words 'abuse', Kylo's eyebrows narrowed. A familiarity he knew all too well.

"What did they do?" He asked, taking a small step forward.

"It's what they didn't do..." You ran your fingers down your arm as you spoke. "They knew I was small enough to fit in places. Easy to miss if I were to pass by carts or speeders. They made me steal for them. Corellia was known for its trading... And they were poor smugglers who could hardly get money. So, they adopted a child in order to get what they needed."

"They made me do things my body couldn't physically take. I was too young, my bones weren't all that strong, my muscles were thin. But that wasn't logic to them. They saw it as weakness. They yelled at me, made me cry, guilt tripped me... Anything so I could do the dirty work because why would someone cut a child's hand off? Or arrest them?" You shook your head, not realizing how deep you were diving into your past. Something Kylo did not expect.

"The older I got, the more and more they used me. They made me work long hours. They made me trade things they claimed they couldn't have. They even still had me stealing. Up till the age of fourteen, when I decided it was enough. That my bones couldn't take it. That I couldn't take it."

Not realizing that his fists had been balling up, nails digging into his skin, Kylo bit down.

A sense of... protectiveness washed over him. As if he could scout out those two lousy so called parents and slaughter them. Promise you that you'd never have to see them again. That they could and would never hurt you ever again.

It reminded him of himself. What he had gone through. What he had been through. What he was still suffering through.

"It was destined to happen, for me to run away and never look back. I've traveled far and wide and I have never returned to Corellia. Not once. I refuse. It's a hell hole."

What you hadn't realized is that, the more you confessed, the more you allowed Kylo in. Nearly breaking into your defensive walls.

"I ran and I kept running. And running. Until I found a place here." You breathed. "I hardly know anything. I don't even know what I'm doing, really. But, I'm glad to have found some place to be. Even if it's temporary. Anything is better than being tugged by the strings those beasts had me tied to, attached by their fingers."

Taking in a deep breath as he eyed you, Kylo spoke up after his long silence. A silence he respectfully took to give you his full attention when he realized how bad you really had it.

"Most of the men that work here hardly know what they're doing." Kylo admitted as you lightly smiled. "Most of the time they're scurrying around because they're unsure of what to even do. Same goes for the General. He's always on the verge of a mental breakdown. But, who isn't in this organization?" He said as you looked at him.

"The First Order is desperate for replacements, possibly why they don't seem to care who they pick as the low level officers, as long as they can use their hands."

"Why's that?" You curiously asked.

"Starkiller Base. The main base the First Order once had before it was destroyed by the Resistance. A super charged weapon of a planet. Much like the Death Star." He explained, but you gave him a look as if you didn't understand. "Both powerful weapons that could destroy planets."

"Oh..." Your eyes widened for a moment.

"Don't worry about not knowing what to do. You've been doing fine and hardly anyone will notice if you'd screw up." Kylo truthfully spoke. "And it's better this way. Away from those... monsters who called themselves your parents."

Lightly smiling you nodded. "So... does this make us friends now? I share my deepest darkest secrets?"

Feeling his heart skip a beat, Kylo sucked in a small breath as a faint grin grazed his lips. "I'll think about it."


	23. Dark Energy

Black filled your line of vision, all around you, like visions before. The water beneath you, just an inch high, rippling around your feet. Sucking in a small breath, you felt a harsh energy around you. The darkness feeling as if you had nowhere to go.

Taking in heavy breaths, knowing very well there was no chance of you getting out, you began to panic.

Suddenly, around your feet, vines began to encase your ankles. Feeling the movement, you looked down, causing your breathing to quicken even more as your heart raced. But, the faster your heart was beating, the quicker the vines consumed you.

Feeling them wrap and tighten around your neck, they were just about ready to blind you, but a sudden knock pulled you right out of your darkening mind.

"Vega, the Supreme Leader requests your audience." The voice on the other side of your door—Hux, you presumed—said. "He would like for you to join him on a mission. Meet him at the hangar."

Taking in a deep breath as you say there, trying to catch your breath, you nodded. "Okay." Rubbing your face and feeling how shaky you were, you sighed.

Eventually, after showering and changing into your not so comforting dark side attire, you found yourself on the same vessel you had taken to D'Qar.

"You lack much knowledge about the world around you and its history." Snoke said as he sat before you, two Praetorian guards at his side. "I am going to take you to a very important place in dark side history. A lovely place called, Mustafar." He grinned, a small laugh rumbling in his chest.

Looking over his seat and seeing a glowing red planet, you took in a small breath as you swallowed. "Mustafar..." You mumbled.

"An outer rim planet that held one of the greatest Sith Lords of all time. As well as volcanoes and lava rivers and lava eels." Snoke waved a hand as the ship entered the planet's atmosphere. "But, none of that is important. What is important are the destinations I will be showing you. Maybe then you will learn about your destined route and the side of the Force you belong to."

Looking at him, you gave him a single nod before he stood. "Deep beneath its surface is energy so pure you could hardly resist. So strong and powerful. So... dark." He grinned as you took in a small breath. A sight that you were growing to loathe. "Let me show you around." Waving his hand as the shuttle landed, you turned and followed him down the ramp, the guards following after.

Walking along, feeling the heat suddenly warm you up to a point you had to remove your robe and leave it behind, your eyes scanned the planet around you, only for you to blink. Just before you, you saw two people... One who looked very much like Anakin and the other looking like... Obi Wan?

Squinting your eyes, you watched as the two fought, only for their images to disappear in plain sight.

Blinking, you took in a small breath and picked up your pace. Snoke hadn't noticed this, but you were hoping the guards hadn't either.

"Our first stop... The remnants of a Sith Temple." Snoke said, taking in a deep breath. "You could feel the darkness just float about. You can almost... taste it." He leaned towards you as your jaw tightened for a moment; too close for your comfort. "It has been in ruins for ages, but the Sith Lord Darth Sidious knew of it very well." Standing up straight, he continued to walk.

Eyeing the rubble around you, nothing but rocks and what almost looked like debris, you took in a small breath. The darkness was strong, it was wrapping around you and thrusting your mind into places you tried to avoid.

You were thinking about your death, the lightsaber that pierced right through you.

Then, you thought about the vines. You could almost feel them wrapping around you as if it were actually happening then and there.

Hearing the faint voices that hollowed and echoed within your ears, you snapped out of it as on of the Praetorian guards appeared before you.

Turning away and following Snoke, you swallowed any apprehension.

_An anchor._

Walking into the depths of Mustafar, somewhere underneath it's terrain, Snoke had taken you into a sort of cave that sat on a river of lava. A Sith Cave as he had called it the second you approached it.

And the second you approached it, you felt that dark energy. The heaviness in your chest. It was... calling to you.

Losing yourself, somehow separating from Snoke and the pair of guards, you now found yourself in front of a table made out of rock that seemed to have been made naturally. All around you, on the walls to the left and right of you, were writings. Writings you couldn't understand.

Feeling the darkness surround you, hugging you tight and weighing you down, you began to panic. It was strong. Stronger than anything you've ever felt before.

Taking in deep breaths as you heard the voices in your head from the forrest, the feeling of the darkness nearly suffocating you, you slowly backed up. The cave paintings began to glow as you eyed them, only to turn and fall back at the sight before you.

A man... a creature, dressed in black and grey with its fists clenched, a mask encasing their head and face and a machine attached to their chest. The same... _thing_ from before in the forest. The one that stalked towards you. "You don't know the _power_ of the dark side."

"Vega?" Shooting your head over in the direction of the voice, the figure before you was now gone.

Instantly standing up and rushing out of the area you were in, you kept in mind your anchor. Something to cleanse you from all the darkness that you now felt, that was weighing you down and making you feel as if you were no longer able to even breathe.

"There you are..." Snoke said as you reappeared before him. "I have one more place to show you. It is build atop of this cave." Turning away, you followed, gulping down the fear you had felt from what you had just seen.

"I am sure you have noticed my ring." Lifting his hand, you eyed the triangular stone that sat on the golden band. "I made it myself." He snickered. "It is a black obsidian stone that I uncovered in the catacombs of mines underneath this very castle." Snoke explained as you eyed the dull castle. Dark walls, lack of light and... windows. "This very castle..." Snoke repeated.

"Whose castle is it?" You questioned, breaking your silence, only to hear a laugh echo from the walls, an eerie laugh that left Snoke's wretched mouth.

"Ah, why, a very important Sith Lord." Snoke lifted a finger before coming to a stop. "Darth Vader, himself." Opening his arms and presenting something, you stopped beside him and followed where his eyes had been looking.

Then, your heart stopped. The image, the mosaic of some sort... it was that creature. That being you saw earlier in the cave... and the same one you saw in your vision. He was portrayed right before your eyes.

"Darth Vader was a very powerful man of the Galactic Empire. Apprentice to Darth Sidious. A very powerful duo..." Snoke breathed, only to tighten his fists. "Too bad Vader's offsprings were nothing but atrocities. Including his grandson." He snarled as your shoulders dropped.

Grandson...

Ben Solo... Kylo Ren...

Did this mean that Anakin was Darth Vader?

"I should have known not to have chosen a damned Skywalker when there was a high chance of failure." Snoke shook his head.

"Why is that?" You curiously asked, staring at the image in front of you. Thinking about it... Thinking about _Anakin_.

"Because, as great as Darth Vader was, he allowed the light to weaken him. To turn him. To kill his very own master. All because his son was able to bring him back." Snoke spoke in disgust. "The imbalance in my apprentice, I should have known killing his father was not enough."

Feeling your eyes widen, you turned your head and looked at Snoke. "But you. You have no one. You are no one. Nothing will hold you back. I should have found you, first." Snoke grinned. "But, you were closed off from the Force for so long... It was time that you had awakened. The true heir to the dark side. Arya Vega." He breathed, slowly turning to face you.

"You, my dear child, will bring justice to this galaxy and cleanse it from the scum that now fills it."


	24. Hole in the Wall

_Sith Lord Darth Vader._

_...light to weaken him._

_...kill his own master._

_My apprentice..._

_...the imbalance in him_.

_You are the true heir to the dark side._

Shutting your eyes tightly, you reopened them as you tried silencing your mind. Trying to put your thoughts elsewhere. But, your mind was hovering. It was caught up in all that you had seen... All that you had felt.

Mustafar was now on your list of planets to never visit again. It was nothing but a gas planet filled with darkness and... anxiety. Much like how you felt now.

Nearly rushing yourself to get to your quarters, the only place you felt partially safe in, you stripped from your clothing and took a second shower, scrubbing the heat that remained from the lava planet, off of you. You practically forced yourself to shower in cold water, in hopes that it'd help.

Stepping out, drying yourself and changing into your nightwear, you walked over to your bed and took in a deep breath. You needed to meditate. To reach out to Ben. You needed to know more.

Sitting with your legs crossed, you took in a deep breath and closed your eyes, reaching in your mind... and trying to reach out to Ben.

"Ben?" You called out, but, there was no response. "Ben? Where are you?" Eyeing your ever changing white walls, your eyes landed on one. One that had a small hole in it.

Narrowing your eyebrows, you slowly approached it, not having the greatest feeling about it. There was no good in having holes in the walls that kept you safe.

Coming to a stop before it, leaning forward, you inhaled deeply before looking through. Seeing nothing but a vast, dark forest, your eyebrows knitted once again as your heart skipped a beat. The feeling you got from it, the sense of hesitation, made you step back and force yourself out of your mediation.

It was clear to you that reaching out to Ben wasn't an option. You could only rely on sleep now. Sleep was your second option... Although you were sure that wasn't going to go well for you either.

Which, you were right. You tossed and turned every few minutes, not finding a comfortable position, and when you thought you did... you were only teased by the sleep that had hardly held onto you.

Lying on your side and staring at a wall, you huffed. You knew it had been hours of you like this, moving around, the darkness of your mind not letting you rest. Neither was your own thoughts. Everything kept reverting back to Mustafar and that cave.

Sucking in a breath, you turned on your back and felt everything around you fall still and mute. You knew what it was.

"So now you're in _my_ bed?" You spoke, looking over to seeing Kylo lie beside you.

"You're in _mine_." He corrected, but you rolled your eyes. " _Again_."

"Fine, we're in each others beds." You sighed. "Why?"

Lying on his back, he stared at his ceiling. He lied there in silence, as if trying to ask himself the same question. He couldn't seem to understand what brought you two together at such random moments. "I don't know." He truthfully answered. "I'm still trying to figure you, and all of this, out."

"Maybe that's why..." You breathed, shifting your focus from him, to your ceiling. "You curiosity is drawing us together."

"I'm sure you're curious, _too_. This isn't something one sided, that's a fact." Kylo said with a small huff. "Do you think of me all day?" He suddenly asked and you couldn't help but feel flustered—both in a good _and_ bad way.

"Do _you_ think of _me_ all day?" You mocked, Kylo only let out a grumbled snicker.

"Possibly." At his answer, you felt a small smile tug at your lips, but you looked away before he could see it. "Will I ever meet you... physically?"

Taking in a deep breath, you swallowed. "I'm not sure... I don't know..." You sighed. A small silence grew between the two of you, Kylo lying there and thinking about it and when he'd ever meet you, how that would go.

Now that you lied beside him, you thought: would he actually feel something from you? Would he be able to some how sense your Force? Now that you had a small opening in your mind, he had the chance to make some sort of bond... but, could he?

"Why are you awake?" You broke the silence.

"Nightmares." He admitted, you nodded.

"Me too." You said. Then, at the common dilemma, you pushed your worries to a side. "Maybe we should meet."

Blinking, Kylo's eyebrows narrowed. "Are you sure? You don't seem so fond of the idea." He said, looking over at you.

"Well..." You breathed, turning your head to look at him. "It isn't a good idea when I still don't know your true intentions." You smirked, Kylo glared.

"I don't know yours, either." With the look on his face, you were sure he'd be crossing his arms right now if he were standing.

Grinning, you winked. "We'll meet someday. I'm sure of it."

Quietly breathing, taking in a strong inhale, Kylo nodded. "Get some rest, it's too late in the night for you to be awake." He said, looking you in the eye. "Nothing will harm you here, not even your adoptive parents." He assured, but you wish he saw the whole picture... Maybe then, he'd say differently.

Giving him a half hearted smile, you nodded. "I'd say the same thing to you, but... I don't know your fears, Kylo Ren." Eyeing him, you gave him your last words before you disappeared from his sight. "Goodnight."


	25. Nothing But A Failure

"It seems as if Force training is the least of your worries." Snoke spoke as he sat before you on his dark throne, eyeing you as you sat on one knee, gesturing with two fingers for you to stand up. "But, with a lightsaber... A double edged lightsaber, I can only imagine what strength you'd unlock." Lifting his chin, he studied you. "A regular lightsaber is too easy for you, that is why I gave you that one."

Following where his hand pointed, you eyed the lightsaber hilt that lied on the ground just before you. "It was brought to my attention you didn't use enough of it during your mission to D'Qar... That is why they will be battling against you. Eight against one. I want to see just how... talented you are with a lightsaber." Snoke waved his hand as all eight guards stepped closer towards you as he sat back.

"And, don't worry. Their weapons can withstand a lightsaber. This... This won't be easy." He snickered as you swallowed, nodding your head once before picking up the lightsaber you now claimed yours.

Watching as the eight guards now circled you, you took in a deep breath, trying to focus on each and every one of their Forces in order to see any incoming movements. Hearing the shifting of one of their feet, you instantly ignited the double edged lightsaber, twisting in your spot and blocking their move.

And, from there, it was on.

One by one, they attacked you with swift movements, quickly building up the sweat on your body as you soon found yourself panting. Gritting your teeth and moving your arms—and the entirety of your body—you blocked and blocked and blocked. Your breathing echoed within your ears, the sound of your blood pumping and your heart racing deafened you.

Twirling your lightsaber, jabbing one of the guards with one end, and then another guard with the other end, you were suddenly caught as one of the guards got hold of the center of the hilt, pulling you to them. "Agh!" You grunted as they snatched the lightsaber right from your grip.

"Don't think for a second you can use the Force." Snoke called out. "You can only use your body! Use it, channel your anger. Channel that fear within you! Turn it into hate! Use that hate to drive you into defeating them!" Watching the guards circle you, you instantly ducked as one of them swung their weapon at you. Then, you caught hold of their staff and snatched it from their hold, protecting yourself from the others.

"Yes... Yes! Feel the frustration! The fury!" Snoke clenched his fist as he watched you eagerly, seeing the way you moved your body. How you kicked, how you swiped your legged, how you used their weapons against them.

You were becoming cocky, too cocky, your aggression was driving you on the verge of going on a rampage. As you continued to fight, grunting and yelling, you mustered all the force and strength you had to attack. But, as you thought you had one of them, another came right for you and sliced the skin of your upper arm open as you hissed.

"Foolish! You must not leave yourself open! You must not keep your focus on one person!" Snoke shouted as he stood. "Your fear is to die, isn't it?! Will you die now?!"

Panting as your sweat trickled down your forehead, you clenched your eyes shut for a moment as you took a step back, your blood dripping onto the ground before you. "Do not disappoint me, Vega! I have brought you here... To become something! To be someone! To do what you believe is right! And you are only failing yourself!"

Feeling your heartbeat quicken, you reached out for your lightsaber and instantly ignited it, your aching body begging you to stop as you continued to get hit. More bruises appeared on your body, more scars littered your skin. "YOU WILL DIE!" Snoke yelled. "YOU WILL BECOME A FAILURE! YOU WILL DIE BEING THE NO ONE YOU ARE!"

Seeing red as Snoke was opening up parts of your mind that had never been opened before, you bit back the tears that formed in your eyes as the guards all ganged up on you, you continuously pushing to fight them but your muscles were begging for you to stop. This was nothing like training with Luke.

"FINISH HER!" Snoke shouted as he pointed a finger, but just as one of the guards came storming for you, you reached your hand out towards them and instantly twisted and closed your fist, watching the guard suddenly collapse to the ground.

Hearing clapping as the remaining seven guards took their steps back, Snoke walked forward and over to you, hovering beside you as you stared at the now deceased Praetorian guard. The way they lied there, their head twisted in an unnatural way. You felt your disgust crawl up on you, the chills running down your spine at the sight before you. You allowed your anger and rage to blind you... Just like on D'Qar, except, this time... You killed with no mercy. You killed for the sole purpose of killing and it made your skin crawl.

Turning your head to look up at Snoke and seeing that bone chilling grin, he spoke. "It's time."

You were losing all sense of control. You were losing that balance within you.

Being dismissed as you reached for your lightsaber, you then found yourself walking to the lift, holding back the tears that were now fighting to emerge. You couldn't hold it in any longer. The pain, the suffering, it was becoming too much. It was overbearing.

Exiting the lift and nearly rushing to your chambers, you instantly fell to your knees as you walked in, your shoulder shaking as tears crashed onto the ground beneath you.

Holding your face as you bawled, crying out in pain, the weight on your chest made it hard for you to breath. You had so many more fears than you had ever before. It was too much to bear, it was eating you alive.

"Ben... Where are you..." You panted. "Ben! Please!" You whimpered, shaking your head as you felt yourself crumbling apart.

Feeling your body shake as your lips trembled, you shut your eyes and tried reaching into your mind, in hopes you'd find Ben. In hopes he'd help you. That he'd guide you.

But the moment you entered your mind and saw the shifting high walls, you saw no one. You heard no one. Nothing but the walls rumbling.

Taking in a shaky breath, terrified of what would happen, of the fact that you were in too deep or that you'd never see him again, you left your mind. You knew you had to fight through it, for as long as you could, for as long as the light was there. And you knew what you had to do now.

"Kylo Ren..." Snoke said, leaning forward and watching his apprentice enter his throne room. "Kneel before me and place your lightsaber before you."

Coming to a stop before Snoke, Kylo did as told. Falling to one knee, unclipping his lightsaber and placing it on the ground in front of him.

"I was informed that you... You failed to kill your mother." Snoke said as Kylo had his eyes low, only to see his lightsaber fly from its spot, into Snoke's grip. "Some... TIE Fighter pilot had to do it. A disappointment you have become." Snoke snarled, placing Kylo's lightsaber beside him.

"You... You are a failure. You are failing your own men... You are failing me and you are failing yourself!" Snoke's voice raised as Kylo swallowed. "And this is the last time you fail me."

"I always knew you could never be as great as Darth Vader... or even your uncle, Luke Skywalker. You are just a weak, foolish boy who lacks guidance and confidence. A boy who is too attached. Who can not let go. A fool. A disgrace! A disappointment!" Snoke shouted as he stood from his seat.

"I have no use in you any longer. I have lost my patience with you. You are nothing but a child who will always fail. A child who could not save the First Order... or himself."

"You will fail everyone. You will bring everything to ruins. You, Kylo Ren, are nothing! Absolutely NOTHING!"

Just about ready to stand up and lunge, Snoke shot his hand out as bolts of electricity shot from his fingertips and through Kylo's body, sending him flying back as he hissed.

"You fool... You have reached your end. Your failure will be no longer. I have found a replacement. The one to do what you could never. The one without attachments. The one who will never fail me. Or the Order. Or themselves." Extending out his arm and presenting, Kylo took in deep breaths before looking over his shoulder and seeing the lift doors open.


	26. Get Your Vengeance

Exiting the lift and seeing Snoke present his hand as Kylo turned, the two of you made eye contact. Although from afar, you could see the confusion in his eyes... But, other than that, there was pain. Pain you weren't sure of what the source had been.

"Ah, yes, Arya Vega... Child of darkness. The one who will never fail me. I see it in her eyes... I see it in her soul. She will never bring disgrace or shame to the First Order name." Snoke grinned as you kept your eyes locked with Kylo's.

Walking away from his throne, Snoke eyed you and raised his hand again. "She, will be your end, my dear Kylo Ren." Snoke said, now standing beside Kylo as he looked down at him, Kylo forcing himself to his feet as he took in deep breaths. "I feel no need to waste my energy on murder. Torture is satisfying enough." Snoke admitted as your jaw tightened, igniting your lightsaber as Kylo's eyes didn't waver.

"You see, Vega, here... She thought her reason being here was to train enough to be ready to defeat Kylo Ren. To do Ben Solo justice..." He snickered, shaking his head as your stomach turned. "That, he would not die in vain. She will bring vengeance. Kill the one who killed him." Snoke continued.

"And that... is you, Kylo Ren. You are the one she wants to kill. And with such desperation brought such darkness within her. Something I had to harvest... Something that had to be manifested and be brought to the surface."

Keeping your eyes on Kylo as he kept his on yours, you felt tears wanting to prick your eyes. "I sensed such greatness within her. But, she was lost... Just like you were. She was lost without guidance, thinking she had found it. But she found it in the wrong place. I saw it in myself to guide her the right way. To bring her to where she belonged. Within the darkness."

"She is so powerful... So strong. Something greater than any man before me... Something better than you, Ren." Snoke snickered. "She... is the _true_ heir to the darkness."

Turning his focus over to you, Snoke clenched his fist as his voice boomed, "You know what you must do, child. Do what you came here for, get your vengeance!" Reaching your hand out, Snoke suddenly flew into the air and hung there, your fingers curling as he choked.

Flinching in their spots, the Praetorian guards caught Kylo's attention as he then looked over at Snoke, then over to you where your eyes were now on Snoke—you were Force choking the man. Pulling your arm down, Snoke's body slammed to the ground as the Praetorian guards went straight for the kill, ready to run towards you until you pushed your hand through the air and sent them flying back.

Not wasting anytime, Kylo reached his hand out and caught his lightsaber as it flew into his hand, igniting and decapitating Snoke without second guessing his moves, doing what he should've done a long time ago.

Watching as the guards stood right back up, igniting their weapons and getting in a fighting stance, you and Kylo found yourselves now standing at the center, you igniting your lightsaber once again and fought beside Kylo.

Lifting your lightsaber as it collided with one of their weapons, you kicked the guard in the chest and spun the saber, knocking the weapon right out of their grip before slicing them. Deactivating one end of the lightsaber, you instantly turned and aimed it towards another guard, activating it and watching it pierce right through their head.

Taking in a deep breath, still recovering from earlier, you extended your arm out and pulled one of the guards towards you, you slamming your foot into their back, sending them flat on the ground as you stabbed the lightsaber right through them. Lifting your head and watching Kylo handle his end, fighting off one of the lasts, your attention snapped to the last guard aiming for him.

Sticking your hand out and reaching into the Force, you instantly froze them in their spot as Kylo spun around, swiping his lightsaber through the air and splitting them in half.

Standing there, taking in deep breaths as a sense of relief washed over you, your panting—as well as Kylo's—filled the air amongst the disaster now surrounding you from the destroyed throne room. It felt like a weight was lifted from your chest, but you knew that wasn't it. There was far more still to come, just waiting for you.

Deactivating your lightsaber as Kylo had done the same, the two of you made eye contact, but before he could say anything, you ran right off. It wasn't like you couldn't confront him, you knew eventually you had to... But someone had to deal with a soon to be angered General Hux.

Taking the lift down and keeping your disheveled state and panting self going, you ran right into the man you needed to see. "General Hux!" You called out, breathless as he turned around.

"Vega?" He lifted a brow, seeing how disgruntled you now seemed. "Did-"

"The Praetorian guards..." You breathed. "They turned against Snoke."

"What?!" He snarled, eyes narrowing.

"I-I was brought in to kill Kylo, to do as the Supreme Leader ordered... But the guards had something else in mind-"

"What. Do. You. Mean?!" Hux seethed, rage burning in his eyes.

"They killed him. They killed Snoke... And they had to be stopped." You lied. "Kylo and I... we had to kill them all."

Snarling, Hux clenched his fists as he bit down harshly. "The Supreme Leader... is dead?"

"Yes..." You nodded. "And there is... A new one."

"A new one?" Hux tilted his head the slightest, for a sheer moment, he felt his lips twitch into a smirk. It was his time to take charge. Although too soon and unexpected, he knew his time had come. "Well, I-"

"Kylo Ren." You said. Although, that wasn't the truth, you were sure that now—the one who killed the previous—took the throne. The only way to free himself from his demons.

"K-" Cutting himself off, a growl rumbled in Hux's throat. But, without a single word, Hux turned on his heel and stormed off, leaving you smirking.

Smirking until it dropped at the thought of Kylo. You knew he'd be beyond curious, confused, and... enraged. He must've been. You lied.

Sucking in a breath, you aimed for your living quarters. You needed to meditate, to reach out to Ben. To tell him...

Entering your chambers, you stood there and shut your eyes for a moment. So much had happened in so little time that you hadn't processed that... you weren't sure where to go now. Snoke was gone, but now Kylo was the Supreme Leader... and you feared that'd only make him dive deeper into the darkness within him.

Opening up your eyes once again, you let out a small breath, only to feel a sudden stillness in the Force. Furrowing your eyebrows, you slowly turned and felt your heart skip a beat.

Snoke, he was standing there right before you.

Shutting your eyes again, you reopened them and realized he was gone. Sighing, you moved to your bed and sat on it, meditating.  "Ben..." You breathed.

Standing amongst your walls, you suddenly felt chills. Something didn't feel right. Something was off. "Ben?" You called out, but, instead you felt a dark vibe.

Turning to see the hole in your wall, now bigger than before, your breath hitched.

"You believed you could rid me that easily?" Hearing the bone chilling voice, your heart skipped a beat. "That you could escape my grasp? I fear you are so... very wrong. The darkness within you keeps me alive. In your mind and in your soul..."

Turning slowly, eyes now burning with fear, you nearly flinched at the sight of Snoke... in your head, within your walls.

"Foolish one. You can't get rid of me. I am everywhere you are. Watching... Waiting. This is only the beginning."


	27. I Can Help You

Forcing yourself out of your head, taking in a deep breath as you rubbed your face, you tried convincing yourself it was just a hallucination... You were hearing things. Nothing more than that. You were still worked up about the whole situation and your mind was playing tricks on you.

Nodding your head, going with that as you let out a heavy exhale, you felt a tug in the Force. It was Kylo. You knew...

"What is the truth and why were you hiding it?" Lifting your head and seeing Kylo stand before you, although not physically, you swallowed your apprehension. "Who are you really?" He spoke, tightening his jaw.

Sucking in a breath, you straightened your back. "I rather we speak face to face."

"So do I." At that, you heard your door open, your head snapping over as Kylo stood at the doorway

Standing from your spot, you eyed him. You were caught off guard, unsure as to how he even found you. Had he known all along?

"I found you through the Force." He said, his voice ringing in your ears. His real voice. At least, from a physical form now. Not a... projection. "Your walls are falling apart. They were once so high that I couldn't even sense if you were telling the truth or not whenever we spoke. But, now... Now, they're breaking. And a hole is being made within them." Kylo pointed out. "Why is that... Why were they so high?"

Looking down for a moment, your shoulders dropped. "I had to keep Snoke out some way. I had to keep everyone out. You couldn't find the truth and he... He couldn't turn me. That's the only reason why the darkness hasn't consumed me. Snoke couldn't know I wasn't going to actually join him. He was manipulating me as I manipulated him." You truthfully answered, eyes low as Kylo kept his on you, looking down at your face. "I had to lie to you..."

"For how long?" Kylo asked, voice lower than you expected it to be. You thought he'd be raging at this point.

"Not too long... Not enough where I could forget how many days." You said. "Or, weeks."

"What happened?" He cut to the chase, not wanting to curve around or wait any longer. He had to know everything.

Taking in a deep breath, you lifted your head and looked him in the eyes. "Snoke had been reaching out to me for a while... Speaking to me, telling me things. I-I don't know, but I just knew that I'd have to take things he said with a grain of salt. Of course I did, I didn't know this man or this haunting voice." You stuttered. "He contacted me multiple times and then, finally, I answered his call. I searched for him. I found him. But I had no intentions on turning. Or... finding a spot with him in the universe. I'm still unsure as to where I even stand..."

Looking you in the eye, searching them, he knew you were telling the truth. You felt no need to lie to him. Not when you two were finally face to face. But, he sensed you were holding back. "That's not all... There's more. I know it."

Swallowing as you shifted your eyes away, holding back, afraid to tell him the whole story... The entirety of how you came to that very point, he took a step closer, close enough where you could feel his breathing against you. Close enough where the door of your quarters shut and no longer left the two of you exposed.

"Don't make me use the Force on you to pull it out." He nearly growled as you gulped, not wanting that either. After gaining his respect... or, at least you had believed you did, you didn't want that to be severed. "Did you lie about everything you told me?" Kylo raised his voice. "Did you lie to me about being abused?!" Shaking your head, biting your bottom lip as your eyes instantly pooled with tears, you looked down, ashamed. For some reason, you felt so vulnerable around Kylo... That you couldn't hold your emotions back from him. That you couldn't hide your feelings like you so easily had with nearly everyone else.

"No..." Your voice cracked, the heat that moved up to Kylo's face suddenly dispersing, leaving him standing there with a hint of regret.

A small step was taken back from him as he continued to eye you. "Then, what are you hiding?"

"I was always on the run, like I had told you." You began, lifting your eyes to meet his once again. "For years, I was on my own. Traveling from planet to planet, trying to find a place I could live on. But, I never could. Nowhere seemed safe for me. Nowhere seemed right." You sighed. "So, I took jobs, I did what I knew how to do best. I smuggled, I stole, I did whatever I could to keep myself alive for as long as I could. And... in order to do that, an outside force was necessary. The Force."

"I didn't know it was the Force. I didn't. I just thought they were some strange abilities I acquired through time... As if something out there was watching over me and helping me survive. Helping me live. As if it felt bad for the life I had." You said, taking in a deep breath. "But, whatever they may be... or whoever gave them to me, I was thankful. They helped me more than anything else. I could've died countless of times without them."

"But then, as I found myself in yet another sticky situation in which I could've died in, I escaped. And, when I had... Someone found me." Looking him in the eyes, as if your own could tell him just where your story was going, Kylo blinked. A part of him felt as if he did, but he couldn't grasp onto what. "A man I had no idea of who they were until, well, they told me." You lifted the corner of your lips, a faint grin that lasted mere seconds. "Luke Skywalker."

Swallowing, Kylo took in a quiet, deep breath. He should have seen that coming. He should have known it was his uncle. How that man was trying so hard... How he was so desperate.

"I had been having these odd visions... Every time I needed to have a safe place to escape to, I used my mind. And, in my mind, I saw this island. This vast ocean... Little did I know I was destined to cross paths with Luke Skywalker." You lightly chuckled. "Well, he projected them onto me... He sensed me out in the Force. The only one who had. Not Snoke... Not you. Luke did. And he searched for me. And then he found me."

"I couldn't seem to understand the visions until I met him. It made sense... but then I was confronted by—I met—Force ghosts and they, too, helped me. Somewhat." You slightly shrugged. "He trained me... Taught me. Told me the Jedi ways weren't needed any longer. Only certain aspects. So he trained me in a way he thought best..."

"And then he gave me a lightsaber. One I so easily connected to... One that connected me to its owner." Taking in a deep breath, you softly spoke, "Ben Solo." Seeing his eyebrows knit, you turned around, Kylo watching as you went to grab something from your nightstand. Walking back to him, you extended out your hand and opened your palm, Kylo looking down at it and leaning away. "It all started by this."

"H-" Cutting himself off, he swallowed, you looking up and biting your inner lip.

"I saw it all... It showed me. Your turn. The massacre." You explained. "Meeting Luke opened up something within me that invited so many Forces... So many that I, I could never tell what it is that I wanted. I never knew where I belonged. Before this, I had nothing, I was just another person in this galaxy trying to survive, except with abilities. Now, I'm someone who has so many paths... but I still don't know which to take."

"Snoke and Luke, they both misguided you." Kylo finally spoke, breaking his silence. "They've never been in a position where they're caught in between, where they're drawn to both. They never knew what it was like to feel lost and confused. Afraid." He said. "But I... I know exactly what it's like. I know how it feels."

Looking you deeply in the eyes, feeling your Force intertwine with his, your mind opening up to him and thoughts nearly moving freely, he sensed your imbalance, the way the dark and light flickered within you, fighting.

"I can help you."


	28. I Am Everywhere

_I can help you._

Kylo's words hummed within your thoughts, as if hearing them for the first time. Over and over again. Fresh in your memory. The moment he offered you help, you were still. You were hesitant. But, you wanted to take his hand. Metaphorically.

He was right in every way. In the sense that he was possibly the only one who knew how you felt. Snoke never could have shared that pain and struggle with you. No, he definitely wouldn't. Especially when his main goal in his crooked lifetime—aside from being the biggest menace the galaxy had seen—was to turn you into a monster. Convert you into a demon that... you feared he was slowly succeeding in.

Then, there was Luke. You hardly knew the man. Only what he had told you, and that wasn't enough. How could he know what you were going through? From day one you could tell he was training you for you to do his deed. For you to take his place within the Resistance when, in reality, you knew that he knew the only one the Resistance needed was Luke Skywalker. Not some woman who had a (what seemed to be) identity crisis, going by a false name and not having to hear her real name in... Well, you couldn't seem to remember. You were lucky to even remember your real name. Something you had yet to inform Kylo about.

But, it wasn't like he was going by his given name, either... So you were in the safe zone. Somewhat.

On the other hand, out of the three—Luke, Snoke, and Kylo—you seemed to know Kylo more than anyone else. And he was the last person you had met. The person you had only met physically within hours.

And, somehow, you found yourself trusting him... more than yourself.

Now finding yourself standing before Kylo, in the room he now claimed to be his throne, Hux rushed in. The slightest of disheveled, lacking his breath. "Supreme Leader, the Resistance have made it to Crait. I have sent Fighters and Walkers down there." He informed, you having turned to look at the General. "I suggest we take part and take revenge on our fallen Base."

Eyeing Hux, who had a faint smirk on his lips at the thought of getting vengeance for his beloved Starkiller Base, you turned and eyed Kylo. With the slight bow of his head, signaling just what you were going to tag along in, the two of you now found yourselves alongside Hux, boarding the Command Shuttle and aiming for the salt planet that was Crait. A new planet for you to add on your ever-growing list of 'visits'.

Standing in the shuttle, in the midst of officers, General Hux... and the new Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, you swallowed as you looked out the windows before you. They were trying everything to get the metallic door down. Firing, threatening, attacking those soldiers who thought it was best to defend their grounds. You watched it all in your spot above the battlefield. This had been your first true battle that you'd ever experience. Even though you technically weren't taking any part.

Amongst the battle, an unfamiliar—yet very familiar ship to Kylo—had appeared and deterred the Fighters, something the new Supreme Leader wasn't so fond of. Yelling at the top of his longs for someone to " _blow that piece of junk out of the sky!_ " which only made you question as to why he seemed to hate it so much. But, that question could wait for later because, moments after, once the ground was cleared from the battlefield and Kylo demanded the Walkers and the shuttle to come to a halt, your heart skipped a beat.

You couldn't believe your own two eyes at what you had been seeing bellow. You recognized that face... but not the attire nor the hair... Something wasn't right and you couldn't feel them. How had Luke Skywalker gotten there? How had he known? He must've had a connection with someone within the Resistance to feel the distress.

Squinting your eyes and looking closer, you only blinked. Something was out of place. Something didn't add up at the sight before you. You couldn't sense his Force. It was nonexistent... But, that didn't seem to matter to Kylo.

Or, at least he chose not to acknowledge it when he snarled.

This clearly aggravated him. The sight before him. His once Master. His uncle. All of his pent up rage allowed him to act first, making any and every gun fire right at the man. Something that made you hiccup at the sight.

But it also made you _hiccup_ when Luke had stood there, perfectly fine, brushing off dust from his shoulder. As if nothing had happened. As if mere blaster fire was not going to be his undoing.

"Lower the shuttle." Kylo demanded as they soon had.

"Let me go with you." You instantly spoke, turning from your spot and rushing to his side. Something was itching at your skin, a scratch you couldn't leave alone. You had to see this for yourself. 

Following him shortly after, Kylo clenching his fists as his cape billowed behind him. Then, the two of you came to a stop as you eyed Luke. Now up close, but not as personal, you realized  something. Something that Kylo had not with his blind rage.

Shrugging off his cape and igniting his lightsaber with a dramatic stomp, Kylo spoke as Luke stood there with... a different lightsaber. Not the one you had seen him carrying around. Something that made your speculation even greater. "You don't know how to give up do you? Was running off, hiding, not enough for you, old man?!" Kylo snarled.

"I have nothing to hide from anymore. I have nothing to lose." Luke said, his eyes shifting to you, then back to Kylo. "I've come to realize what I have to do."

"And what is that? Come to apologize? Try and save me? Han tried, the scavenger failed. Now, you've come to take a chance? You always lose, Skywalker." Kylo gritted his teeth.

"I won't be the one to save you, Ben." Luke shook his head. "But, you're wrong when you say I always lose. I don't. Especially when there's always hope. And I can see the hope as clear as day. As the sun shinning down on us. I believe in the sun."

"You know nothing." Kylo growled, ready to lunge, but before he could, you grabbed his arm and held him in place, his head snapping over to you in disbelief. Shaking your head, looking him in the eye, you turned your head back ahead.

"This isn't really him." You lowly spoke as Kylo's eyes narrowed, turning his head and seeing your proof appear before him. In this case, _disappear_ before him.

Breathing heavily through his nose, Kylo deactivated his lightsaber and clipped it on his belt, reaching out for his cape and placing it back on. "We will infiltrate the base ourselves." He said in a low voice, trying to contain himself from the explosion within him that was soon to erupt... If it hadn't been for Luke disappearing. He was beyond prepared for a battle between him and his uncle.

Now marching into the base, a number of stormtroopers following as did the General, Kylo took a different route as you had.

You, unlike the rest, weren't searching for any remaining Resistance soldiers or officers. Rather, your curiosity was guiding you. A place like Crait wasn't all that interesting, but, the Rebellion did take an interest in making their bases in caves...

Walking far off from the rest, in a cave you found yourself aimlessly walking into that seemed longer than it actually appeared to be, you heard a twisted laugh echo. Taking in a deep breath as all distant sounds suddenly came to a stop—or, muted—you turned and felt your heart drop.

"You so desperately believe you can rid me from you?" Snoke said, standing before you... And not like a Force ghost. He almost seemed solid. "You can not. You never will be able to. I have latched onto you, my dear child. I am a part of you. We are one. I am everywhere... In your head... In your thoughts... Behind you when you think no one is."

Blinking and taking a small step back as your eyes suddenly teared up, you gulped. "Oh, is little miss stoic afraid? Is her fear getting the best of her?"

"You're not real..." You nearly whimpered, jaw now shaking. 

"Are you sure about that? Or, are you trying to convince yourself?" Snoke asked, taking small steps forward as you took a few back.

"You're not here..." You muttered, lips trembling.

"I so very am..." He breathed as your eyebrows scrunched, shaking your head in disbelief.

"I'm hallucinating. My fear is driving me to see things. This isn't truly happening. It's all in my head..." You said, taking another step back.

"I am just as real as you are, Arya Vega... And there is no way of ridding me. No matter how... hard... you try." He grinned, the vile sight making you clench your fists as your jaw tightened. "That anger... That hate. The violence within your mind. I see it. I feel it. I am it. You will not last long within the light. You ruined me by turning your back, now, I will ruin your life until you are no longer able to recognize that face in the mirror. Until you kill everyone. Until you kill _yourself_."

Hearing the cave rumble violently, you shut your eyes harshly, only to open them and see Snoke was no longer there. Nothing but faint debris falling before you as you let out a shaky breath, a tear slipping down your cheek and onto the ground beneath your feet.

Exiting the cave swiftly, searching for Kylo—and away to escape the sudden loneliness that drove you mad—you came to a stop as your eyes landed on the all black figure standing in a control room. Sensing something within the Force.

His mother.

As did you. But, not his mother, rather, the light within him.


	29. You Have Me Now

The light. It was glowing within Kylo. You could almost see that faint flicker begging to turn into a flame.

You were unsure of what had triggered it, you knew he struggled beforehand, but never did you expect it to be this bright... Or, at least the light was begging to be more.

Feeling the vibrations of the shuttle beneath your feet snap you out of your seconds long gaze, you snapped back to reality and made your way down the ramp, just shortly after Kylo—who had taken the lead.

"That was a waste of time." Kylo spoke, loud enough for the General—in which Hux was mere feet away from you—could hear. "We've got nothing out of that. No ones head. Not even Skywalkers." Kylo snarled.

"Yes, but, Supreme Leader... sir, we did drop the numbers of Resistance members." Hux informed. "It has dwindled. The number they now have is mediocre. They are insanely vulnerable."

"They are nowhere in sight." Kylo hissed over his shoulder as Hux swallowed.

"I am well aware of that, but with there-"

"General, I want you to return to your post on the Finalizer. You are relieved from the Supremacy." Kylo interrupted, you standing silently the entire time as Hux's gasp filled your ears. " _Now_." He demanded as Hux swallowed yet again.

"A-as you wish... Supreme Leader." Looking over your shoulder and watching Hux rush off, you let out a small sigh.

Turning your attention back to Kylo as you let out a breath through your nose, you looked up at him as he slightly turned to face you. "What..."

"I just... You seem as if you've been doing this for ages now." You pointed out as Kylo looked you in the eye. The proximity between the two of you being very small. And Hux couldn't help but notice this as he looked over. The way you two stood so closely... Eye to eye.

He couldn't help but snarl. It was enough that Snoke was gone. He didn't need Kylo Ren—his arch nemesis—to have the girl. The one who was supposed to kill him. The one who would eventually take his place and ease the stress for Hux.

The one he would try so very hard to impress and gain their interest just because he had been lacking in that area for a very long time.

Possibly why he felt jealous at that moment. Seeing you look up at Kylo and say something he couldn't quite put together.

But, whatever that had been going on between you and _Ren_ , he'd brush over his shoulder. It wouldn't be anything serious. It isn't like you knew Kylo Ren well enough... right?

"Come with me." Kylo said, you doing so without questioning. Now that Snoke was gone and there was a hint of a small—minuscule—break from the war, you so easily followed Kylo. Joined him. You wanted to become closer. To gain his trust even more... To find out what or _who_ was triggering the spark within himself.

Following him down the halls, trying to match his stride, you sighed. You knew he was a big man and that his legs were a lot longer than your own, but he could've relaxed on the walking just for you. Every one step he took, was nearly four for you. Or so you exaggerated, you didn't really count, but he was one to take _very_ big steps.

"Where are we going?" You asked, growing impatient and desperate to know. Especially when he was walking in silence.

Yet, he didn't give you an answer. He stayed quiet, the sound of his boots hitting the floor being the only sound you heard. You wondered what it was that he had to show you or where it was that he was taking you.

But, the second you entered a deserted hall that had doors that were far distant from one another, you had a feeling this was something more private than expected. Possibly why your face was heating up. Was he really-

"This is my chambers." Kylo said, your attention snapping over to him. "Where you found me most of the time."

"Where I found you?" You lifted a brow, cautiously walking in and eyeing the place. Far bigger than your box sized quarters. "I think you mean where you brought me..."

Hearing a small scoff from him followed by a faint snicker, Kylo remover his cape and lightsaber, sitting them to a side before he gestured for you to take a seat.

Placing the double edged lightsaber just beside your lap, Kylo reached his palm out, the same lightsaber flowing right into it as you watched. "Snoke gave you this."

"Yes." You nodded. "A little too long for my liking... But, it gets the best out of me. Never thought something as... intense as that would be interesting to wield." You admitted as you watched Kylo, who took a step back and ignited the lightsaber, the blades sitting horizontal before you before he twirled it in his grip.

"I can only imagine how it is to wield such beauty in battle." Kylo said, eyeing—studying—the weapon.

"I can say the same about yours." You nodded, eyes shifting to where his lightsaber now sat. "Did you make it yourself?" You asked, wanting to reach out for it but not wanting to take it without asking... even if he had done that to you. But, it wasn't like the lightsaber was truly yours. None of your lightsabers were.

"Yes." He answered, deactivating the double edged lightsaber before handing it back to you, you looking back ahead and getting a hold of it. "Not the greatest design, but, it gets the job done." Reaching his hand out for his lightsaber, he then presented it before you.

Placing 'your' own down, you grabbed his and ignited it. The crackling filling your ears as it hummed, sparks flying. "Why does it fizzle?"

"The crystal within it is cracked." He said, your eyes meeting his for a moment before looking down. "Kyber crystals aren't meant to be red. If you focus enough dark energy onto them, they become red. Something the Sith would do that I carried on." Nodding your head, you stood up and waved it around, spinning the hilt in your grip.

"It's quite heavy." You admitted. "Not as heavy as... the other." Your voice hushed, knowing that speaking about Ben Solo or anything tied to him wasn't the greatest thing to do.

"I'm well aware." Kylo said. "That's why I said it's not the greatest design."

"I kind of like it." You admitted, eyeing the blade and its fiery rage. Much like its Master. "Suits you best." Looking back over at him, he lowered his eyes for a moment. "It's unique. Like lightsabers should be, I suppose. I've only seen a handful." Deactivating the lightsaber and walking over to Kylo, reaching your hand out where the lightsaber hilt came into view, he took it. "I don't know much about the Jedi or Sith. Or what you consider yourself. Or what Master Luke is. Or even Snoke... But, I do know that the Force is a very complex thing. Beyond what I imagined."

"Through time you learn why it is the way it is." He breathed before sitting down, you doing the same. "I'm still learning."

"Kylo... Can I be truthful to you?" You asked the second a silence had washed over the two of you, Kylo lifting his head and looking you in the eyes, almost signaling his answer. "Our connection opened up something within us... Within you. And I saw things I know I shouldn't have. But I did."

Narrowing his eyebrows, Kylo searched your expression. "I did not come here thinking I'd help assassinate the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Or who I learned to be Snoke. I came here for different reasons. But then... I saw something within you, something I saw within me, and I knew I had to do something."

"One night, after we had our... Force call, I had these nightmares. Nightmares that I knew were memories." You admitted, looking down at your hands before looking back up. "Your abuse. Snoke harming you."

Tightening his jaw, Kylo took in a sharp breath. He should've known that some of _his_ walls came tumbling down as well, allowing _you_ in to see his past. "Is that why you told me about your past?"

Taking in a small breath, you nodded. "We're a lot more alike than I thought we would be. Seeing that proved it. That's why I had to help you." You said. "Snoke wanted me to kill you... To take your place. He, of course, tried manipulating me into being the one who'd take on a whole new personality and stance... and become the new Commander. But I-I knew to be cautious. To anchor myself to the light within me so I wouldn't go berserk. Even though... it's happened a few times."

"It's-It's a disaster all together. The things I went through. I never knew exactly what I was going to do and for how long. Or how far I'd go. But then, I saw those images. I saw the pain, and I knew I had to help you. And that's why I did what I did." You sighed. "I may not agree with some things, but who am I to speak? I hardly know anything about this war or the First Order... or the Resistance. At this point, I just know I'm doing what I've always done. Survive."

Watching as your eyes lowered, Kylo took in a small breath. "You're not in it alone any longer. You have me." He said, your eyes lifting and looking at him. There was no malice. No harm behind his words. No lies. Just, the truth and his support. "I know you're still finding your place. Eventually, you'll find it."

Slowly nodding, you swallowed. "If this is bringing us closer, I'd like to know more about you. You know a lot about me..." You spoke. "Tell me something I don't know about Kylo Ren."

And, with a hesitant breath, Kylo soon found himself opening up to you. Reminiscing... or, recollecting. Memories of his past as a Padawan learner and Jedi. He never wanted to enter that doorway, opening up those memories. But, for some reason, he couldn't stay away when it came to you.

In exchange, you told him about your adventures. The good ones. You did have some fun moments in your life as a supposed smuggler on the run. You had met people, you had learned and seen interesting things. And Kylo couldn't help but find amusement in your story telling.

Which eventually brought the two of you where you were now. Kylo had asked you to join him for dinner, that way to continue your conversing and... expressing your similarities. The two of you got carried away for a moment, talking about either of your abilities and what you could do—Kylo saying he'd like to see you use them one day, saying that what he saw back in the throne room was far impressive.

With the look on his face, with it just being the two of you... someone much like him, you could tell he was feeling something he normally wouldn't feel. Something he hadn't felt in so long. Happiness.

"You no longer have to act like an officer." Kylo said. "You are free to do whatever you please."

Lightly smiling, you took in a small breath. "Thank you... But I'd like to keep myself busy in some way."

"If you chose to continue with your boring task, by all means. Just know you don't have to." He spoke, taking a sip from the glass he had in his grip. Looking you in the eyes, then eyeing your face, he could sense that hint of fear lingering behind you like a shadow.

You were afraid, something you always felt so deeply but kept hidden. And it was bringing you pain. You were lost. "Everything will be fine, from here on."

Sighing, you shook your head. "I'm not so sure... I still feel as lost as ever. Not knowing what I want. I feel as if I'm not in control of my path, that others wield and guide it. And, and I've come to realize that it's all a big blur. I try and convince myself that I know, that minor things well help lead me... But, I soon come to realize I don't know." Taking in a deep breath, you eyed your glass of wine. "I'm so used to running. And then I got used to being guided. Now... I'm back to having nothing..."

Leaning forward, Kylo spoke. "You have me now."


	30. Join Me

Walking closely beside Kylo, steady breathing as silence filled the air between the two of you, either of you cane to a stop at the door of your personal quarters. "Thank you for dinner." You nodded with a small smile.

Looking down at you, into your eyes and searching them, he gave you a small bow of his head. "Sleep well."

Nodding, you tiptoed enough to kiss his cheek before entering your humble abode. Or, well, not so much of an abode. Just a bedroom.

Watching the door shut, Kylo stood there for a moment longer, the feeling of your lips lingering and leaving a tingling sensation behind. Something he was so unaccustomed to. Affection. And in the simplest of ways.

Undressing yourself, taking a shower before exiting and changing into your nightwear, you sucked in a small breath in content. A gentle smile grazed your lips. You were happy. For once. You couldn't remember the last time you felt this way. Although a very long and eventful day... Kylo ended it on a wonderful note.

Kylo... You never expected yourself to grow so close to him. To feel this attachment you now felt. To find yourself wanting his presence the most out of anyone else. For some reason... You felt secure around him.

Turning to crawl onto your bed, your heart skipped a beat at the sight before you. Snoke standing in the corner of your room.

Shutting your eyes, tight enough in hopes it was your imagination, you thought about your anchor. "You're not real..." You mumbled, slowly opening your eyes and seeing Snoke was no longer there.

Gulping, you pushed your hair behind your ears with shaky fingers as you cautiously moved to your bed. You had to remind yourself that he was dead. That he could no longer do you—or Kylo—any harm.

Bundling yourself up, wrapped in your sheets, you felt the softness of your bed consume your exhausted body. Your head resting against the fluffy pillow and instantly sending you off into the world your mind created for your nightly (mental) rendezvous.

But, what you had found yourself in was anything but that. You were in that forest once again. Surrounded by the unknown. The fear that haunted you. The darkness that lurked. The towering trees that enclosed you.

It was suffocating. You felt trapped, and the fear of the unknown had crept up your spine.

Just about ready to turn and break into a sprint, to be anywhere but there, you were trapped. Your feet were tied to the ground. Vines had bound you into the forest where your greatest fear lingered in the darkness before you. Snoke and the blade that would bring your death sentence.

"You thought you could escape? No one escapes their destiny... Not even you, child of darkness. The one the Force seems to favor, when, in reality... it does not when it cant save you from your fate. The fate that lies in this monstrous blade." Aiming the lightsaber towards you as your heart began to race, pounding in your ears as you tried and tried to free yourself, tugging, Snoke lifted the blade. "You thought you could rid me. That I'd be gone forever. That you'd be free."

"I fear your worst fears have come to life. I will haunt you every second of every minute of every hour. I will be there watching. Waiting. I will count down the moments you greet death. I will always be there like the darkness that is consuming your heart and soul. I will taunt you until you go insane and realize you have no hope. Until you cave in and let the darkness settle and consume you whole."

"Enough damage has been put through Ren, but, you? You have just seen the beginning. The corruption has just started. And, soon, you will die."

Watching Snoke strike, slamming the lightsaber down, towards you, an ear piercing yell left your throat. It echoed through the forest as you felt the tears that stung within your eyes slip. You were done for.

But, before you could feel the deadly impact, a hand pulled you back.

Waking up in a panic, tears blurring your vision, for a moment, you believed to have seen Ben Solo standing right before you... but then you blinked, tears clearing from your vision, and there before you was Kylo.

How had he gotten into your room? Or was he just a Force projection?

Staring at him as tears slipped your fluttering eyes, he eyed your face. The fear in your eyes, the trembling of your body, the way your bottom lip quivered. It's upsetting and unsettling. He had left you on a good note, he could only imagine what it was the startled you so badly.

"H- How..." Slowly sitting up as your body shook, you gulped. "Are you really... here?" You questioned and Kylo nodded.

"I sensed your distress." He said, eyeing you. "Your Force... it was budding against mine. Crashing. I could feel your fear and hear the sound of your screams..."

"I'm sorry..." You lowered your head, but Kylo lifted your chin for your eyes to meet his. It was then that you realized he had no gloves on. Just his bare finger coming into contact with the bottom of your chin. Skin to skin. Something you had never felt from him except when your lips met his cheek not too long before.

"You're fine." He assured, lifting his hand enough to rest against your jaw, wiping your tears as they slipped. "Come, join me." Lowering his hand from your face, you took in a shaky breath as you looked down, taking his hand in yours as you stood from your bed, Kylo handing you your robe before the two of you left your quarters.

In all honesty, you didn't want to be in there. Not after what you had seen earlier... and not after that nightmare.

Entering his living quarters, you not realizing it had been the middle of the night, Kylo guided you to his bed—where you removed your robe and lied it to a side—before you joined him.

You didn't seem to question why you were so casually joining him in bed, and you didn't want to. You felt secure this way. Safe, in Kylo's bed as you lied just beside him. Far better than sleeping alone.

In a bed as large as his, you still found yourself close to him, feeling his warmth. Kylo could feel you trembling beside him, you staring at the ceiling, tears ceasing but you were now shivering. Turning to face you, Kylo reached his hand out and rested it on the cheek opposite to the one closest to him. Leaning in, he kissed your temple as you slowly shut your eyes to the feeling, your breathing relaxing as he then pulled you closer.

Turning just enough to face him, you nearly buried yourself into his chest as you closed your eyes, wanting to feel him against you, to remind yourself that you were okay. That you were safe.

And safe was what you felt. In his arms as he held you close to him. As if nothing, not even your darkest fears, could take you from his safe hold.


	31. Mint

The scent of mint had filled your nose, the calming feel it left behind that eased your muscles and never ending thoughts sent you into a world of paradise. Or, at least, a better world than the one you lived in.

It was calm and refreshing. Soft breezes, trees that rustled with their leaves brushing against one another. The distant sound of an oceans wave brushing up onto the shore lines. The bright sun had lot of the vast world around. It was beautiful and unlike anything you had ever seen before.

The more you breathed in, the more of the menthol you could smell. It eased you and your mind. And had you at bay. As if you were floating in that very beach before you.

Letting yourself fall back on the pillowy sand, you shut your eyes as you let the world around you consume you. The smell of mint not leaving your senses once. Something smelt like it, but you couldn't tell what.

Then, you opened your eyes. You were lying on your side and someone was lying beside you. Except, in the opposite direction. Their head was beside yours.

His head.

Kylo's head. You knew it to be him, that side profile was distance. His sharp curves and features... that dark hair.

His hair... It was by your nose, the source of the mint that filled the air, all coming back to his dark locks. You could so easily smell it from where you were beside him.

Lifting your hand and brushing your fingers through his smooth hair as he lied there, almost as if he were sleeping, you smiled. Bringing his hair to his nose, you stifled a laugh. Minty fresh. You wondered what shampoo he used. Whatever it was, you wanted to try it.

Scooting closer to him, enough where your nose brushed against his cheek, you sucked in a small breath and leaned closer, kissing his temple. "Thank you..." You breathed, continuously combing your fingers through his hair. Somehow that added to your tranquility of the unknown land you were in.

Sucking in a deep breath, Kylo opened his eyes as the warmth against him felt far different from the emptiness he was used to waking up to everyday.

It was you. You lying curled up against him, like a child. Or, a teddy bear. You had your arms folded against him, as if he was your personal heater. In which he was.

Kylo couldn't help but lay in that moment for as long as he could. The sight before him made his heart ache. The longing he had, the desire... the want. He no longer felt alone. That void was becoming filled and you were that plug.

You were so gentle before him, seeming so innocent. Almost like how you were before he became the Supreme Leader. Nothing but a young woman who had no idea what she was getting herself into. And you still were that way... But now you had Kylo and he had you.

Eyeing every aspect of your resting face, the gentle complexion, the soft expression... He was mesmerized. You were at ease, unlike how he had found you that night. Not a single tear, not a single furrow in your brows, and not a single disturbance in the Force. Just you, relaxed and resting beside him.

Leaning back enough, seeing your hair fall to your face, he gently brushed it away, pushing it behind your ear. Then, he went to caress your face. Aiming for your cheek. But, the second his fingertips brushed against the smooth skin, his breath hitched. His heart skipped a beat and his chest caved.

It was darkness. Pure, dark energy that he could feel run through your. Flow through your Force as it found its way around you. It was unsettling and it was... terrifying.

Kylo would've though that that was something he desired, someone to join him in the darkness, but when he felt it within you it felt... wrong. It's cold and pure evil. It's almost what he felt from Snoke each and every time he approached him. The coldness... The emptiness.

Swallowing, Kylo leaned forward and pressed a long kiss to your forehead. He knew this path, he had seen it before... he lived it and was currently still dealing with it. He knew the toll it took. The disadvantages. The night terrors... The pain. He couldn't possibly let you suffer as well, could he? You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve any of it. This was Snoke's doings. He knew that for a fact.

"Nothing will dare harm you. Not anymore." He lowly spoke before you shifted in your spot, consciousness filling your body as your eyes peeled open. The sight before you making you blush.

Just about ready to shy away, Kylo stopped you. Getting a hold of your chin, gently, he lifted your head. "It's okay... I just want to look at you."

Blinking, you gave him a single nod as you swallowed. You had never been this close to anyone before. Not ever. Never had you been this... intimate, if that's what if was. It was so close and personal, yet, you weren't uncomfortable. It felt comfortable, even if you were shy.

Looking deeply into your eyes as he brushed your hair behind your ear, he took in a small breath. Kylo could see the light sparking within them... but then he saw the darkness that haunted you. Both battling to take control.

And, for some reason... Kylo wanted to protect the light within you. Enough for the darkness not to have its way with you and turn you into some raging beat like he was.

In someways... he saw his younger self within you. The imbalance, the fear, the lack of guidance. Loneliness. After the way you so easily opened up to him. How you trusted him with something as delicate as your past... He wanted to protect you from the terrors the galaxy had to hold. And he'd do anything to keep you safe.

"Would you like to spar with me?" Kylo asked, breaking the silence but not the gaze. "I'd like to test your skills... see what you can do."

"Okay." You nodded with a faint grin.

"It'll be a lightsaber duel. I want to see how talented you really are." Kylo said, brushing some of your hair behind your ear as you gave him a smile. You did enjoy wielding a lightsaber.

Soon after you agreed, Kylo had let you retrieve training wear, although he was willing to lend you some, you were sure the definitely would not fit.

Eventually, after preparing yourself, you found yourself in an open room with him. Fighting. Battling it out. And it seemed as if both of you had finally found your ultimate match—each other.

You were neck at neck, blocking and hitting. Kylo had gotten you plenty of times and you had gotten Kylo back just as bad. There was no holding back, you told him to fight freely. You could handle it either way.

And, you did. You held your ground well with every turn or twirl of your lightsaber and body. You both were practically dancing with one another in the way you fought.

But, your were careful. You didn't want to kill each other, either. Although nearly burning one another.

Grinning as you pressed your lightsaber against Kylo's, he hissed as he pressed back. Constantly pushing against one another.

You were enjoying it until you heard that haunting voice in your head. "You know you can so easily kill him. With one swift swipe, he'd be dead. You'd kill Kylo Ren and defeat him. That throne could be yours to take."

Trying to shake the thought away as you continued to fight, it only grew more aggressive. "He is the one who killed Ben Solo. He is the one who would soon kill you. Kill him before he kills you!"

Losing your control, you felt the sudden urge creep through your soul, the darkness blinding you with a murderous rage as you snapped. Going in for the kill.

Gritting your teeth and clutching your lightsaber with an even tighter grip, you slammed it against Kylo's and caught him off guard as he stumbled. Seeing the fire in your eyes, the way he could hardly recognize them, you aimed right for his heart but Kylo was quick to swing his lightsaber and disable you.

Snapping out of it as the lightsaber slipped your grip, your heart sank as your eyes widened. "I-" Looking at the lightsaber hilt that was now on the ground, then at Kylo, you lifted your hands as you slowly backed up. "I'm sorry... I-" Turning around and rushing out of the room, you panicked.


	32. I Promise

_The stars..._

_The galaxy..._

_The universe..._

Taking in steady breaths as you say on the ground, trying to calm your racing heart and panicking mind, you stood amongst your walls now. They were crumbling, shorter than before and the hole was bigger. You had to fix it. Bring them back up. Cover the hole... but, no matter how hard you tried... the more they caved.

Searching through the Force and allowing it to guide him, Kylo's quick pace slowed down as he found you sitting before a view point. At least you were okay and not off getting yourself into danger. Rather, you were meditating.

Feeling a presence... Kylo's presence, you slowly opened your eyes and looked over with a faint frown. "I'm sorry-"

Lifting his hand and shaking his head, he walked over, beside you and took a seat. Letting the silence consume either of you as Kylo gazed out at the stars, you followed his lead and did the same. You wondered if he did this often... especially the first time Ben had ever shown you Kylo... he was doing just that.

Watching as the stars twinkled, some brighter than others, you took in a small breath, wondering why it was that Kylo was trying so hard for you. Being someone you were sure he normally wasn't.

Was it because he, too, was lonely? Or because he saw himself in you and wanted to save someone... like you did?

"Please, join me for dinner again." Kylo said rather than asked, cutting the silence that spread between the two of you.

Taking in a small breath, you looked over at him, seeing he kept his focus ahead... expression soft yet fixed. He truly was gazing. "Okay..." You nodded, studying his side profile before you forced your eyes away from him. Ripping your stare from his face.

After a few more minutes, or so, Kylo had stood up and lent you his hand before guiding you away. Still, in silence.

He brought you to the same spot he had brought you to eat in before. The lone dinner for two. Intimate and private. Something you considered to be... sweet. You liked being one on one with him. You were becoming more and more attached to this man by the passing seconds that you felt absolutely terrible that you had almost killed him.

Something that left a bad taste in your mouth, but not the dinner nor the wine you now had in your system. That kept you satisfied.

"Stay with me." Kylo spoke, standing before you as you were about ready to leave for you chambers. "Stay..."

Feeling your heart leap, you slowly nodded with a gently grin. "But, I should get a few things from my place..." You pointed as Kylo nodded, gesturing for you to do so as he patiently waited.

Aiming for your private quarters with a hint of a hurry, and a slight of excitement, you nearly tripped when you entered your place as you gathered your things. You couldn't believe he wanted you stay with him. To live with him. You couldn't say no, not when sleeping in his hold and on his bed made you feel so... tranquil.

After a good ten minutes, you eventually came back with your Ahch-To attire in hand and nothing else. "What is this?" Kylo asked as you sat it down. "Is this all?"

"It's the only thing I truly own. Everything else was uniform..." You nodded, before looking for a place to keep it safe, picking up the set again—that had Ben's lightsaber stuffed within it—in a drawer closest to the side of the bed you had slept on. "I actually miss wearing it... It was so comfortable and breathable. Nothing like what Snoke made me wear... That was unpleasant. Too tight and way too short."

Eyeing you as you stood there, crossing your hands behind you, he spoke up, "You will never have to wear it again. If you'd like, I could get something tailored that is quite similar to what you have there." He nudged his head as your eyes lit up.

"Oh, can you? That'd be wonderful." You nodded with a smile as Kylo nodded back, you reaching into the drawer and carefully pulling out the lightsaber and lying it down before grabbing the attire. Walking over to him, you handed it to him. "Thank you."

"I'll be back with something for you." He said as you thanked him again, Kylo turning and leaving you be at his quarters.

Turning away from the door, you let out a small breath, deciding to take a shower. You knew you really had nothing else to where so you snooped through Kylo's closet, only to stop as your eyes landed on an outfit that was put on a mannequin.

Tilting your head, you walked over to it. It was quite similar to what he wore now except the top portion was much longer and split into four. And, instead of a cape, there was a hooded cowl. You wondered why he changed... this outfit didn't seem all that bad. Then again, it didn't seem like the outfit a Leader would wear...

Turning your eyes away, they then landed on helmets. A row of at least three helmets that were sat, collecting dost on a shelf just above one of the racks of clothing. This must've been what he had worn before, with the attire just beneath.

Letting out a small breath, you turned back to the clothing, everything being all black... multiple versions of what he had been wearing now. Then, training attire... and lots of pajama pants. Did he not own a single shirt? His training attire was solely tank-tops and pants.

Sighing, you grabbed one of the tank tops from its hangar and walked out, over to the washroom. His was far more larger than your own, including his shower. You couldn't possibly see a man his size shower in the shower you had.

Washing yourself from head to toe, using the shampoo you knew Kylo must've used with the strong scent of mint lingering, you exited the shower and dried up. Trying to get enough of the water out of your hair, you changed.

Walking out of the washroom, your eyes landed on a small bookshelf, something you hadn't noticed earlier. Aiming for it, there had been dozens of manuals and First Order handbooks. Then, your eyes landed on a book that stood out the most out of all of them.

You knew you shouldn't have grabbed it, but you were curious and you had to at least see what it was. Maybe not it's contents, but the cover.

Turning the leather bound in your hold, your eyebrows narrowed. Papers were sticking out of the pages and when you had moved it, a few slid out. "Shoot..." Crouching down and just about to gather them, your eyebrows narrowed. They were letters...

Sitting on your knees, you lied the book down and collected the papers before eyeing them. Black ink on parchment paper... all addressed to the same person. His mother.

Sucking in a small breath, your eyes scanned them, long letters all signed off with Ben. Biting on your bottom lip and eyeing some of the content, you couldn't help but feel your heart break. Every single letter got worse and worse with it's context. Ben reaching out to his mother, telling her how much worse his mind was getting. How he was lost. How he didn't know what to do...

How he was terrified.

Wiping a few tears that had dropped down your cheeks, before they could fall on to the paper, you stood up and was just about to put the book and papers back... that is until your eyes landed on something on the ground.

Settling the book down to a side after putting the letters back in, you crouched down and picked up a small image. That same little boy in your visions... young Ben standing next to a woman older than him. His mother.

Looking at the bottom, on the boarder of the miniature painting, it read _Ben and mom_. Turning it around, there was writing in script. Bubbly yet neat cursive writing. Something his mother must've written.

_To my little angel,_

_Keep this close to your heart for as long as you need it to be. A reminder that I will always love you until the end of time. No matter how far apart we are, or how distant we may seem, know that you will always be in my heart as I am in yours._

_With all the love in the universe, mom._

Taking in a small breath as you smile, you turned it back around and eyed the image. His mother was beautiful. Long hair tied into a braided updo, a big grin on her lips matching Ben as she held him close to her. The happiness in her eyes, it clearly had reached to her heart. You could only imagine how she felt now.

"Leia..." You remembered, what Luke had told you. You wondered if she was still alive... She must've been if Kylo had been thinking about her that moment in Crait.

Moving over to Kylo's pillow, you slid the image underneath before you sat there with a smile. You still had hope.

Feeling the world grow still around, as it always had whenever Kylo tried reaching out to you, your eyebrows furrowed. It wasn't him. You knew when it was him. What you felt now was dark and... threatening.

"He is the reason why Ben Solo is gone. Why Ben Solo died." Hearing the cruel voice, your jaw tightened. "Kylo Ren must be killed."

"No." You snapped, looking up and seeing Snoke. "Kylo Ren did not kill Ben Solo. You did." You pointed with tear stained eyes.

"Is that so? Am I the one who almost killed Luke? Or the one who slaughtered the Padawans? Or the one who killed Han Solo?" Snoke tilted his head as your fists tightened.

"You manipulated him! You lied! You used him!" You shouted, bottom lip quivering as your chest heaved. "You are the reason he is in the position he is in now!"

"Isn't it too late for that revelation?" Snoke took a step closer as you stood your ground.

"No. There's still hope. There's still light. His mother. His uncle. Myself." You said. "Ben Solo isn't dead and you aren't real." Shutting your eyes and reopening them, everything snapped back to normal.

Taking in a shaky breath, you wiped away your tears as you shivered. It didn't help that that encounter sent chills down your already trembling body from the lack of heat.

Swallowing, you looked over at the book filled with letters, reminding yourself that there was still a chance. And that you still had your anchor.

"I will bring him home." You muttered to yourself, looking away and moving onto the bed, pulling out the image and lying on your side of the bed. "I promise you, Leia." Placing the image back, you let out a small breath, feeling the sleep overcome you. "I promise..."

Holding onto a box stacked with clothing for you, your original set on top, Kylo used the Force to open his quarters door before walking in. Settling the box to a side, his eyes landed on you. Fast asleep on top of his sheets in... one of shirts.

Lowering his eyes, Kylo took in a small breath. Undressing himself, down to his underwear, he pulled on a pair of pajama pants before joining you in bed, lying on his side and eyeing you for a moment. So peaceful yet... he knew your mind wasn't. "You won't tread down the same path I'm on. I will make sure of it."


	33. With You

That night, you could hardly remember if you had any dreams. Or, if you had dreamt at all. It was nothing but darkness that entire time until you had woken up the next morning with a weight on your waist and something hard pressed against your back.

Opening your eyes as you let out a yawn, rubbing away the sleep from your face, the sound of breathing was heard. The light air hitting your neck causing you to look over and see Kylo had been sleeping right against you... holding you like a child would their favorite toy.

Smiling, you carefully turned to face him, holding his arm so it wouldn't shift and slide off. Eyeing his resting face, unable to fight a grin, you studied him. Up close, for the very first time.

He was beautiful, far handsome than you had believed. Although, he looked like he very much needed sleep when he was awake... seeing him rest made something warm spread throughout your chest from your heart.

One thing that had you mesmerized were all the freckles and moles on his face that decorated his skin like the stars did with the night sky. It was like looking up close at a painting that you could actually touch... You wanted nothing more than to make constellations out of his beauty marks. He was just so... breathtaking.

And then, your mind went elsewhere. He hadn't bothered to wake you up that previous night to tell you he was back or to scold you for wearing his shirt... Rather, he joined you in resting. And held you close. You wondered if he had done that on purpose or if it had happened in his sleep.

Which made you think... Had this been a small piece of Ben Solo reaching out? The way Kylo had cared for you?

Leaning over and pressing a soft, and lasting, kiss to his forehead, you carefully removed his arm from you before sitting up. A warm grin on your face as your heart fluttered. It was clear to you that something was building. Something within your heart was growing.

Just about ready to stand up, your jaw tightened as your eyes landed on the lone figure standing there, in the distance. "You think you're in love... How pathetic of you. Falling for the man who is meant to kill you? You very well know that this won't go well. That you will have to kill him before he kills you."

Watching as Snoke approached you, your heart began to race. "Don't think for a lousy second you can change Kylo Ren. That you can make his heart long for you. His fate is sealed, and so is yours. You will meet the end of his blade if you do not kill him first."

"You're not real..." You spoke up, lip trembling. "You're not real..."

"You can keep telling yourself that... But the more you do, the more you realize I am." He grinned as you slowly backed up on the bed. "I am very real. I live within your head. That darkness in your soul? It allows me to live. To haunt you. To torment you. To make you suffer for your wrong doings."

"You will kill Kylo Ren and you will never bring Ben Solo back. And with all that darkness, that hatred... that rage within you! You will bring death at your door! You will be your own undoing! You will die from insanity and I will have fulfilled my goal in getting my revenge on you-"

Gasping as you bumped right into Kylo, Kylo instantly woke up at the feeling of your distress, and your body colliding with his.

Instantly sitting up and hearing you pant, he wrapped his arms around you and brought you to him. "Are you okay?" He asked as you vibrates against him, eyes wide as your ears rung. 

"M- Mhm..." You lied with a nod, a tear slipping down your cheek and hitting Kylo's arm. "It- I was think about a nightmare..." You lied yet again. "And I was daydreaming about it."

Lightly furrowing his eyebrows, reading you well enough to know that wasn't the whole truth, he decided not to push. At least, not now.

Sitting in a small silence as he rubbed your arms, allowing you to press up against him, calming your racing heart, he came up with an idea. 

"I would like to take you away somewhere." Kylo spoke up, you turning enough to look up at him.

"Where?" You asked, Kylo reaching over and wiping away the tear stain from your cheek.

"It's a planet I'm quite fond of... I'm sure you'd love it." He said, looking you in the eyes. "Believe me."

Blinking, you nodded. "Okay."

After eventually getting out of the bed, showering and changing, Kylo had given you your new set of clothes. Much like your old ones, except, they were an off black, almost grey. The sleeves weren't as loose and the wraps were just for your palms. The stockings weren't up past your knees, rather, a little under, just above your boots. And, with an undershirt, it's neckline seemed higher.

But, still, it was nice. And far better than what Snoke had given you. This made you feel comfortable and breathable. Nothing too tight or too revealing. Just about the right amount of skin shown.

Now finding yourself standing just beside Kylo, waiting for the ramp to lower, your lips parted as gasp left them. The bright sun nearly blinding you but the world around you instantly winning your heart.

Gazing with wide eyes, Kylo only reached out for your hand as you looked at him with a wide smile, taking it. "Kylo... This is beautiful..."

"This is Naboo." He said as your eyebrows lifted. You've heard of t a few times but never had you been there. "This is my grandmothers home planet." Kylo informed, guiding you along as you followed closely. You were beyond eager and, well, excited, to see it all.

"It's gorgeous... Wow." You breathed, eyeing the nature surrounding you.

"It is." Kylo nodded in agreement, taking you somewhere as you eyed the scenery before and around you.

"Your grandmother... She's a lucky woman to be from here." You said.

"She was the queen once. And, a senator representing it." He informed as your eyebrows lifted. "A very powerful and knowledgeable woman. Many admire her... I like to say I do, in a sense."

Looking over at Kylo, you smiled. "I can only imagine what she had done. To be a queen... even a senator, that's- that's a lot. But, I'm sure she was wonderful."

"She was... At least, from the stories I've heard." Kylo nodded, slowing his place as you approached a rather beautiful designed building of some sort. The architecture was grand and just as stunning as the planet.

"Have you ever met her?" You curiously asked as Kylo's hand slipped from your own to open a pair of doors.

"Sadly... No. She passed away way before I could have." He said as you let out a small 'oh'. "That's why I come here. Although, not often enough..."

Turning your attention away from him, your eyes landed on a tomb, then a bright mosaic that had light shining through the glass. It was all so beautiful. She must've been a well loved woman.

Stepping into the room, your heart fluttered as your chest filled. A sense of familiarity had hit you.

Then the light... Hope... Stability and strength. It was all strong and somehow drew you closer to the mosaic. His grandmother. Kylo—Ben's—grandmother. Then, your mind went to Anakin. This was his wife. A Jedi married to a once queen and senator.

A Jedi who turned into a menace... You could only imagine how that story truly meant. You wish you had known more about him. About them... The Skywalker's.

Watching you gaze up at the mosaic, Kylo swallowed. He could feel the light flow around the room like the air itself. It was strong and impossible to ignore... Possibly why he rarely visited the place.

But, you... You had to feel it. You had to be around it. To be reminded of what your soul needed in it. To keep that balance.

"Come, I'd like to show you a few places." Kylo spoke up, you turning and giving him a nod before taking his hand once again.

Taking you to see a few sights, enough for you to enjoy the planet but not enough for people to realize who he was, you wore a big smile on your face. Your heart was so light in your chest and you felt so... happy.

Something about the place... Something about the way it made you fell. The way the wind had blown. The way the sun had shined. How the environment brought you ease. How it was so lovely and peaceful and how it... felt like home.

A planet that you had never been to, felt as if you had lived there your whole life. And this was the first time you had ever been to it.

For the first time, in so many years, you had found a planet that actually felt right for you. That felt welcoming and calming. As if Naboo was where you should've gone to in the first place...

Maybe then, your life would've been different. Maybe you wouldn't have known about your abilities or have met Luke. Maybe you wouldn't have visions or an imbalance.

Maybe then... you would've been a whole different person.

But, standing where you were, on a hill and overlooking a nearby waterfall beside Kylo, you realized, you would've never met him. And, although in terrible circumstances that your paths crossed, you wouldn't have wanted that—to not have known him. Because, for some reason beyond your beliefs, it felt right knowing him. As if destined to be acquainted or... something more.

Taking in a deep breath, feeling the late afternoon breeze brush against your skin and cause your cloak to float in the wind—as did Kylo's cape—you smiled. "Thank you for this..." You spoke up. "This... You didn't have to do this."

Turning his head and looking down at you, eyeing the way you gazed at the waterfall, Kylo took in a small breath. "You needed to see that not all things in the galaxy are ugly... And you needed some away time. Even if it was temporary." He said as your smile grew. "Maybe Naboo can be the place you call home..."

Lifting your head as you blinked, you looked him in the eyes. "Like... live in?"

Nodding his head, Kylo breathed, "If that is what you choose. I wouldn't stop you... You deserve to be anywhere but in the middle of a war."

Watching his eyes falter, looking away from you, you took a step closer. "Naboo is absolutely beautiful... And I wish I could live here and call it my home forever, but... I think- I think I've already found somewhere safe enough."

Turning his head and gazing into your eyes, your hand got a hold of his arm as you tip toed. Sucking in a breath, your lips pressed against his as your eyes had shut, Kylo's heart bursting as it suddenly plummeted to the pit of his stomach.

The feeling of your lips against his making his world almost seem dizzy before he shut his eyes, hearing to kissing you back, but doing so anyways.  The desire to feel someone else. To rid his loneliness.

"With you."


	34. I'll Protect You

_With you._

Your words had vibrated against the walls within his mind. It was so foreign, to have someone rely on him. For someone to find him as their safe haven when he was nothing but.

In his time with the Order he's been anything but safe. He was a walking catastrophe, destroying anything in his path. Choking, hurting, killing... Nothing was safe about Kylo Ren.

But you begged to differ.

He was anything but dangerous towards you. And a part of you was starting to believe that Ben Solo was returning. That that was the reason why he was no longer in your head. Even if it was a slow process... You know he was in there somewhere.

And maybe, just maybe, you'd be the only one to see it.

Returning to the Supremacy in a comfortable silence, Kylo kept you closer to him than he had before. Actually, he stood closer to you, he walked closer to you. Almost like a shadow. Although he wasn't physically touching you, his Force was.

After you had kissed, amazed that you mustered enough courage to do something as tricky as that—which, to your amazement, turned out better than expected. Kylo took you to have dinner somewhere secluded where it felt as if it was only the two of you.

But now, back on the Supremacy, the reality of the war and darkness came smacking back and you took in a small breath. You wished the two of you could stay on Naboo forever... Forget about the Supremacy or the title of Supreme Leader. Forget about the First Order and the war. Just... to live freely, for once.

"I never thanked you for all of this." You said, placing the clothes Kylo had given you into the nightstand drawer. A few pajama sets and the same outfit you had been in now, in multiple versions. As well as your original Ahch-To outfit lying underneath... close to the lightsaber.

As for the lightsaber Snoke had given you—Darth Maul's—Kylo had taken it from when you ran off and hid. He felt as if the more you wielded that one, the worse it'd get for you.

"No need to thank me." He spoke, removing his cape as you gathered your nightwear to change. "First Order uniform doesn't suit you."

Looking over at him, you couldn't help bu laugh, giving him a small "Thanks" before going into his wash room to change into the two piece set. It was black silk, long sleeve buttoned up top and shorts. You wondered if he had chosen it or someone gave him the first set they found.

Folding up the attire you had previously been wearing, you walked out of the washroom, only to see the backside of Kylo as he had just finished pulling his sleeping pants on. Blushing, you looked away and placed your clothes to a side. You definitely weren't used to the sight of a shirtless man... Especially a man as toned as him where almost every muscle was outlined.

Turning and seeing you pull your side of the sheets away, Kylo walked over to his side and had done the same, the two of you lying there, staring up at the ceiling in silence. You could hear your heart racing within your ears as Kylo could feel his own blood pumping.

He could feel the heat on his face, the way his fingers twitched and the sensation of your lips on his returning. The desire to bring you to him, to feel your lips once more, burned at his skin.

And you felt the same.

But, you were afraid. What if he didn't want to be more than what you assumed to be friends? What if he only kissed back out of instinct? Or the lack of touch he received for so long? What if he was just being nice, even though that very much wasn't like him?

Sucking in a breath, trying not to overthink the situation as you knew your head was playing games with you, you decided to make a move.

And, as you did, so did he.

The two of you reached out for each other as either of you turned, bringing the other close as your lips crashed against one another's.

Moving your lips against his in a hungry manner, sloppy movements that Kylo reciprocated, he pulled you on top of him as his fingers dug into your hair, grabbing fistfuls. Breathing heavily against one another, tongue breaking the barrier of his lips as it met his, your heart was racing faster than before.

Holding onto his cheeks, getting as much out of him as either of you could, until your lips were completely numb, all sense of time was lost.

Pushing you down underneath him as he could hear nothing but his heart and the sound of his breathing mixed with your own, he gave you one last strong kiss before biting on your bottom lip, your breath hitching before he lifted his lips away as they hovered against your own.

Your lips were tingling, throbbing. You weren't sure how long it was that you were in that moment, but, it didn't feel long enough. You wanted more, to feel his lips against yours until you could practically no longer breathe. You were desperate for this sort of attention and affection... But, you were also exhausted.

Panting against one another, you opened your eyes and looked into his own, although in the darkness, they seemed brighter than they ever were before.

Lifting yourself up enough, you gave him one last kiss before resting yourself, a faint smile on Kylo's lips before he lied down beside you. Turning to face him, you wrapped your arm around him before resting your head on his chest, hearing his heart thud against his chest. You couldn't help but smile. So he had felt something for you...

That next morning had come and Kylo decided to take you to the throne room, the red walls no longer apparent, rather, the view of the opened space. The stars shinning brightly. It was far better and less restricting than what was there before.

Walking closer to the windows, gazing out with a smile, you've realized this had been one of your favorite things to do. Something so simple yet so calming.

"The vast darkness is a lovely sight, isn't it?" Snoke's voice rang in your head as your eyes widened. "It's endless capability. You will soon realize." Feeling your hands tremble, he continued. "You are a fool for believing you can better either of your lives. To save him and take him with you. No matter where you go... I will always be watching."

Feeling your breathing quicken as you felt vulnerable, your gaze was no longer out in the stars. It felt as if you weren't even in the spot you were in, rather, lost in your head. _You're not real_. You thought, trying to free yourself, but his grip was strong. He was latched and you were panicking. _You're not real_.

Hearing you pant, Kylo turned to look at you. Seeing as how you were shaking and your breathing filling the room, he walked over to you and carefully lied a hand on your shoulder. "Is everything alright?" But, before you could even process what you had done, Kylo was sent flying back, slamming against a wall.

Gasping and snapping out of your trance, you rushed over. "I- I'm so sorry!" You shook your head, tears pooling up within yours. "I'm so sorry! I- I didn't mean to!" Crouching beside him, you helped him up. "I'm... I'm sorry... I don't have control..." You cried.

Eyeing you with a concerned expression, seeing the way you kept your eyes low and tears slipping down your cheeks, he lifted your chin. "What is it?" He asked, calmly, although, deep down he was beyond concerned. He felt that change within you, in that moment, you were beyond powerful. As if something had taken you over.

"I..." Shaking your head as you shut your eyes, trembling in fear, you whimpered. You couldn't hide it any longer. It was getting out of control and it was starting to slip from your reach. "I'm... Ive been seeing Snoke..." You confessed. "He's- He's in my head and in my visions and appears everywhere." You stuttered.

Looking you deeply in the eyes, Kylo's jaw tightened. You weren't truly free, Snoke was haunting you in a way Kylo had never heard of. As if Snoke's spirit now lived within you.

"I'm afraid... That I will lose all control..." You whispered, but Kylo got a hold of your face, wiping your tears.

"Snoke will never get to you. He won't turn you. He won't get what he wants like he did with me." Swallowing, you looked Kylo in the eyes as tears continued to slip. "I will make sure of that. Snoke can't have you. No matter how hard he tries... I'll protect you."

Shutting your eyes, more and more tears fell as you fell against him, crying out of fear. Kylo could sense your emotions, the constant fear. It was something so familiar to him. Something he had felt once... before he turned. And he was afraid it was becoming too late.

But that didn't mean he was going to stop trying to save _you_.


	35. Love

A few days had passed since the revelation and the moment Kylo kept his promise. And, he did as he said. He protected you. Although not physically, his presence was enough to keep you from those dark moments.

Kylo tried keeping you as close to him as possible, but seeing as he was now the new Supreme Leader, it wasn't all that easy. So, when it came down to him being busy, he made sure that you at least felt his presence nearby as a reminder that you were not alone.

But, when he was around, you made the best out of it. You tried opening up more and more to him, although there wasn't much left to give. As for Kylo, he tried not being so reserved. You had poured your heart and soul out to him numerous times and it was starting to make him feel guilty.

"I've never had someone else in my life care for me..." You spoke, sitting on Kylo's bed, just diagonal to him as he sat with his back against the headboard. "It's always been just me... I'm not used to having company. But, it feels nice..." You nodded, fiddling with the bed sheets in your hand.

It had been a late night for the two of you, you couldn't quite sleep and neither could he, spending hours just talking. Voices low and soft with the occasional silence. It was comforting. It felt nice. And it wasn't forced. "Me too." He admitted, you looking up and giving him a small smile. "Although I did have some moments when I was training to be a Jedi... it never was something serious."

Slowly nodding your head, you took in a small breath. "You've had past lovers..."

Looking over at you, he blinked. "I wouldn't call them lovers... I never really felt love for any of them." He said, watching as you kept your focus low. "None of them gave me a reason to."

Nodding your head, you pushed some hair behind your ear, "I've never been in love. I mean, I've liked people but they were never meant for anything more. Not with the life I lived. I liked to believe I didn't have that privilege of being in love when I wasn't stable enough." Narrowing his eyebrows, Kylo's head slightly tilted. "But... I don't think I'll ever be stable. I think what I have now is the most... stable I could possibly be."

"You don't know that." Kylo said, your eyes trailing up to meet his. "You're still young."

"Yes, but... who would love a girl who has a demon haunting her?" You awkwardly chuckled, shaking your head and looking down.

Kylo, in that very moment, couldn't help but feel upset. It wasn't like you asked for this life or followed through for the sake of power or to rule the galaxy. Or to even prove to others your worth. You were there because you had no idea what path you were even on and false guidance lead you that way.

He saw how broken you were, but how much you tried to fix yourself. He saw how scared you were, but how your tried your best to seem fine and fight through it. He saw how much you tried gripping into the light even though the darkness was tugging it away.

He saw you for you. The whole picture and not just the beauty or the innocence. He saw someone who didn't need anyone but wanted them anyways.

He saw himself in you. A less sloppy version with more potential and hope. Someone who still had a chance of staying... _good_.

He saw something so bright within you that called to him; a voice so loud that he wanted nothing more than to answer it. That care, the affection... the faint adoration. He felt it and you weren't even trying to hide it because you've gone forever without it. And you wanted someone to reciprocate it.

And he wanted to give that you. Because, in the still lit parts of his heart, he felt something just as strong for you.

"I just... I hope to have that..." Taking in a deep breath, your stomach turned. "With you."

Feeling his heart slam against his chest and coming to a complete stop as his eyes grew in size, he stared at you. Did you... love him?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that." You shook your head, not bothering to look at him, the silence suffocating you. "I'm sorry." Turning away and getting under the sheets, you lied with your back facing him, a racing heart and a burning face, embarrassed that you'd say something so easily. "Goodnight."

Eyeing you as his eyebrows scrunched up, heart fluttering in his chest, Kylo shut his eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath. He didn't mean to stay silent, or to make you feel embarrassed—especially with how hostile you now felt—he was just... afraid. He had found himself doing and feeling things he had never before. And he knew very well, the light within him was only becoming stronger.

Lying down as he turned on his side, facing you, Kylo reached under his pillow, only to feel something. Pulling whatever it was that had been placed there, he brought it in front of him and only felt his heart snap.

The image of him when he was younger... with his mother.

Tightening his grip around it as he looked over at you, his eyes began to fill with tears. Tears he hadn't felt since he had killed his father.

Biting down, he shifted his eyes back to the image, seeing the happiness in her face. The wide grin and bright eyes. Something he so deeply wanted to see again. Something he knew he could never tear away from himself no matter how hard he tried. One of the pieces that held the light within him. What kept it flickering.

His mother... and her presence that he knew he still felt. Somewhere, out in the galaxy.

Clenching his jaw shut, biting back the urge to cry, knowing very well that he kept the image hidden for so long was for that exact reason... he shut his eyes and turned the image away from him. He tried so hard not to tremble, to wake you if you had truly fallen asleep of for you to feel his distress... but his heart was aching.

He knew that, no matter how hard he tried, he still very much loved his mother. And that he could never stop loving her.

And just as he felt that love for his mother... he was feeling a whole new type of love for you.

That's when he knew, he couldn't let you slip from his grip, no matter how fearful he was. He couldn't lose you. Not when you were the last chance the Force has given him to having something anchor him.

Placing the image back under his pillow, feeling a few tears slip as he sniffled, Kylo wiped them before he scooted closer to you, reaching out to you and pulling you to his chest as he left a long kiss on the back of your head as your eyes slowly opened. The feeling of his racing heart vibrated against your back as your own ached. You had hoped that he'd make a move... That he'd do something.

And he had.

Turning yourself to him, you wrapped you arm around him as you nuzzled your face into his neck and took in his scent. Not wanting to let go of him. Ever.

That next morning had come and Kylo found it difficult to separate from you. You had still been asleep against him and he had to try to not wake you when he pulled himself from you. He knew he couldn't take a day off to just stay in bed with you, not with his newfound title. But, he promised himself that he'd return to you as soon as he could. Because he knew, you were the one thing that'd keep him stable... as he was to you.

Eventually waking up to that emptiness, you had taken your time that morning, knowing you didn't have much to do. You contemplated whether or not to return to your post, but you decided not to. You were fine in Kylo's room.

You had busied yourself reading nearly every single book on his bookshelf, almost falling asleep each time with how boring they were. They definitely weren't for pleasure. If anything, they were for torture.

A few times you had left the room to eat and explore a bit, being cautious enough for no one to question you. But, to your surprise, they hadn't. They were all busy in their own world.

Returning to Kylo's—and now your—chambers, you decided to change into your nightwear as the evening had approached. You were thankful that the only presence you had been feeling was Kylo's and not Snoke's. You hadn't felt him for days.

Eyeing his room and searching for any source of entertainment, your eyes landed on a sort of holopad. Turning it around in your hands as you moved to sit on Kylo's side of the bed, you pressed a button, only to see the galaxy appear before you as your eyes widened, lips parted.

Pushing a few buttons, moving from system to system, you pointed out the ones you had been to. Which were plenty.

After hours of being absent, Kylo had returned, only to see you holding the galaxy in your hands. You looked so mesmerized... so amazed. The smile on your face, the excitement in your eyes. How the blue beam of the hologram reflected off of your skin.

Too lost in your own world, you hadn't realized someone else was in the room until you snapped out of it, seeing Kylo. "You seem to enjoy that." He said, walking over to you and pressing a kiss against your forehead as you nodded.

"It's so neat... I was pointing out the planet's I've been to. I'd say easily ten... Maybe more. I'm sure more." You chuckled as Kylo smiled, a genuine one. "I also read all those books from your bookshelf." You pointed without looking away from the holo pad, Kylo nodding as he undressed himself. Removing his cape, his hilt and belt, as well as his boots.

"Really? I wouldn't suggest anyone read those..."

"Oh, no, they're terrible reads." You shook your head. "But, it was something..." Telling him what you remembered from each, he lifted his eyebrows in amazement.

"Impressive. Not even I remember half of them." He lowly chuckled as you shrugged.

Shutting off the holopad and placing iron his nightstand, you propped one of your knees up before resting your chin on it, watching him undress. Your cheeks were heating up at the sight, but you couldn't look away. This had been the first time you had actually seen him take apart his attire, stripping down to his pants as your heart skipped a beat.

Feeling your eyes on him, Kylo looked over at you as you blushed, trying so hard to look elsewhere but not being able to. Your eyes trailed the hard lines of his muscles on his torso, so defined... He looked as if he had been sculpted by the Force, itself.

Biting your inner lip, you hadn't realized that Kylo had kept his gaze locked on you the entire time, your eyes trailing back up and meeting his. The sudden desire within them reflecting your own.

You knew he wanted something... and you felt it, too.


	36. Vessel

The hunger in your eyes had matched Kylo's. He could feel the desperateness within you, how your heart was racing, how your fingers twitched to just grab and pull him to you. And it was making his skin hot.

Saving you the trouble of waiting any longer, Kylo stalked towards you as your heart beat quickened. Even faster than it already was. The look on his face, the way he stared right at you, almost into your soul... You felt yourself throbbing, your skin burning as your breathing hitched.

Coming to a stop before you as you looked up at him, the innocence in your eyes making his chest tighten, Kylo reached out and cupped your cheeks. Leaning forward, Kylo pressed a gentle kiss against your lips. Soft and swift. Enough to make your heart thud.

Then, he kissed your chin, then cheeks, and suddenly he was at your neck.

Biting your bottom lip as your heart ached within your chest, beating faster than it had ever, you closed your eyes as Kylo left wet kisses down your neck. The feeling of his tongue brushing against your skin before he nipped and sucked at it to leave red blotches made your body tremble.

The more he marked your skin, the less you were able to breathe. It was so hard for you to keep focus when his mouth was doing that.

Your hands had found themselves deep into his hair, tugging at the soft locks. You couldn't help but let a few moans slip from your lightly parted lips. How could you not? No one else has done this to you before.

Grabbing his hands and guiding them to your bare thighs, desperate to feel him against you, you brought his face back to yours as you kissed him. This time, you made sure he stayed longer. And that it was anything but gentle.

It was like that night when either of you exhausted each other out from making out. Kylo was gripping your thighs as you held the back of his neck, aching to explore his mouth, wanting to feel every inch of him. To meld your bodies together.

Trailing his gloved hands up to your waist, pushing you further into the bed as he kissed you hard, sucking and biting your bottom lip, you moaned. Ripping himself from you, he used his teeth to pull off his gloves, tossing them to a side. He wanted to feel your skin with his own, not the leather layer he had on.

Placing his hands under your shirt, feeling the soft skin against his digits, he nearly shivered. Skin to skin contact. He so miserably lacked that.

Kissing against your jaw line, roughly as your head was slightly pushed to a side, your hands reached out to his bare torso, running your fingers along the hard muscles that had you quivering. Your lips parted as your breathing hitched, the feeling of his skin against your palm making your body hot.

Trailing your eyes down his chest and stomach, seeing the faint trail of hair that lead to the hem of his pants, your shaky hands reached over and unbuttoned them as Kylo continued to kiss your jaw and neck away.

Unzipping the pants and tugging them down, his hands instantly left your waist so he could pull his pants right off.

Grabbing onto the back of his head and pulling him closer to you, Kylo nearly climbed on top of you as your lips connected once again. Teeth nearly crashing and tongues colliding in a sort of exploration through the others mouth.

Panting as your chest heaved, Kylo went to unbutton the pajama top you were in, starting from the top as his kissing wavered.

Kissing your chin and underneath it, down your neck and to your exposed collar bone, Kylo reached the last button before he pulled the shirt open, leaning back enough to eye you as his breathing quickened.

Feeling the movement of his lips stop, your eyes fluttered open to see him in a trance, staring at your body. Taking in a deep breath, your cheeks burned at the sight of him gazing at your chest.

Holding your waist, Kylo lowered himself once again. Kissing your chest and down the valley between your breasts. All the way to your stomach and where the elastic band of your shorts stopped him.

Kissing your hips, Kylo ran his hands down your body as you let out a small whimper, his fingers brushing against your breasts as you squirmed. The feeling so foreign to you. Especially when his hands returned back to the pair and began to knead at them, making your insides burn as your knees wanted to press together while your back arched.

Kissing one of your breasts, kylo licked and bit at the skin, irritating it before it turned red. The feeling of his mouth making you groan, wanting to feel even more, as much as he possibly could. You were so needy, so deprived. Anything to satisfy your cravings.

Moving his lips down, a gasp left your lips as your eyes widened, feeling them against your most sensitive area as your chest heaved faster than before.

Running his fingers down your sides, he hooked them around the waistband of your shorts and lowered them, pulling them right off of you and dropping them over the edge of the bed. "K-Kylo..." You squirmed in your spot, feeling the heat in between your thighs intensify as you eagerly lied there. "Pl- Please..." You begged, eyes squeezing shut again.

"As you wish." Eyeing the grey underwear you had been wearing, seeing the obvious wet spot, Kylo sucked in a sharp breath before pulling them right off of your hips. Then, he removed his own.

Bringing you to the center of the bed, you removed the remaining of your top off of you as Kylo looked down at you, either of you looking deeply into each other's eyes as you were now propped on your elbows. "Are you sure about this?" He asked as you nodded.

"Yes... Please." You breathed, Kylo leaning in and kissing your lips as he got a hold of your thighs, you falling back as he slotted himself against you, his tip teasing you as you let out a small cry into the kiss.

Wrapping your legs around him, he positioned himself as his head now hung beside your own, your eyes staying shut as your lips parted, hands clutching his back as he entered you. Slowly, he spread you apart like a blooming flower, your lower abdomen tensing up as your mouth fell open. A loud moan escaping as you held tightly onto him.

Lowly growling beside your ear at how your walls constricted around him, Kylo gave himself a moment as he rested his forehead against your shoulder. He had to remember this was your first time. That you were new. That he couldn't just slam right into you or go straight for the thrusting at an uncontrollable rate.

Feeling you shift underneath him as your lips pressed against his shoulder, he lightly pulled his hips back before pressing them against you, the first buck making you gasp as your nails dug into his skin.

Then, slowly, Kylo began to thrust. His hips meeting yours slowly at first until he picked up the pace, your heart aching as your eyes clenched shut. You could feel tears forming at the euphoria of it. The sensation that ran through your body like your pumping veins. You couldn't help but bite his shoulder as his hips rocked against you.

Feeling a tear hit his cheek, he lifted his head and kissed your own, bringing a hand up to your face and wiping them away. "It's okay." He muttered against your skin, you slowly nodding as your breath hitched, lips unable to stay closed.

Feeling something burn within you, your hand moved up to Kylo's neck as the other went into his hair, keeping him close to you.

Grunting into your skin, letting out small groans and growls, Kylo's breathing staggered at the feeling of you tightening against him. How your thighs pressed against his waist as your walls clenched. Whatever it was, you couldn't take it. It was making your breathing become louder and faster. "Kylo... K- Kylo..." You moaned, eyes shut as you felt his hand brush away your tears, his lips gently pressing against your cheek.

"It's okay, sweetheart." He breathed against your cheek as your heart fluttered. "Don't fight it."

Feeling something burst within you, you felt yourself spill against him as your hands nearly fell from him, your body relaxing as you let out a heavy breath.

Giving his last thrusts as your hand moved to grab his chin, you brought his lips to yours in a lazy kiss as Kylo soon came. Resting his forehead against your own, eyes shut as he tried steadying his breathing, listening to your own, as he pulled out, falling beside you but bringing you on top of him, bringing the sheets over either of you.

You were so exhausted yet so satisfied that you rested easily, knocking out moments after it all, leaving one last lousy kiss to Kylo's chin before you fell asleep.

"So vulnerable..." A voice spoke within your head. Snoke's voice. "You allowed him to have you at your weakest. To have your body. And now, your walls have crumbled. They are no longer existent. And you can't do anything about it."

Standing amongst the crumbling mess, the white walls all turning to dust as darkness surrounded you. That dreaded forest. You panicked.

Clutching the sheet to your chest, you tried and tried to pick up the walls around you, but nothing seemed to work. You were weaker than ever and you were failing to stay anchored. "No!" You yelled out, only to hear Snoke's haunting laugh.

"Oh, my dear child, there is nothing left for you to do! You allowed yourself to become vulnerable, to let the darkness find you and now... Now, I have you." Seeing Snoke approach you, you tried to run but couldn't. You were stuck. You were glued to the ground.

Getting a hold of your chin, Snoke leaned forward and looked you in the eye as you trembled, his hand only wrapping around your throat as you gasped. "The darkness has won. And you are no longer in control. Your body is mine now. You are now a vessel to the dark side."

Gasping for air as Kylo choked out, he felt your hands gripping around his neck, tightly. Trying to claw away at your hands, he realized you were too strong... That something else was in control of you and you were no longer there.

"P- Please!" He choked out, looking you in the eyes as you straddled him, no longer recognizing what he was looking at. Those weren't your eyes. They were filled with pure evil and he could hardly sense you in there. "St- Stop! St-op!"

Trapped in your own head as Snoke's grip tightened even more around you, your tears spilled down your cheeks as you tried to rid him from you. But, no matter how hard you tried, his grip only grew stronger.

"Please! Arya!" Kylo called out, tears streaming down his cheeks, but you wouldn't. You _couldn't_. "Y/N!" He shouted.

Snapping out of it, the sound of your real name hitting you to the very core as your heart thudded against your chest, you pushed yourself away from Kylo. He was gasping, coughing, trying to breathe.

And you felt disgusted in yourself.

Jumping off of the bed and holding the sheets against you, seeing Kylo roll over, coughing, you dropped the blanket and grabbed your original robes before rushing out of the room. Far away from him as possible.


	37. Darkness Versus Light

Taking in heavy breaths as he finally felt the air fill his lungs, Kylo's head snapped over to the door as he heard it shut. "Y/N?" His scratchy voice called out. "Y/N?!"

Panicking, nearly falling off of the bed, Kylo quickly pulled his clothes on, grabbing his lightsaber and rushing out of the living quarters. His heart was racing within his chest and he was beginning to fear that he had lost you for good.

"No..." He spoke in hush tone, not feeling your presence anywhere, not seeing you at either end of the hallway. "No!"

Trying to reach out into the Force, looking for you... Searching... He found nothing. You blocked him off. "Y/N!" He cried out, rushing his pace, in hopes to find you.

Your mind felt like it had a dark storm cloud hovering it. Nothing but the darkness filling the void your white walls once protected you from. You were weak and you couldn't gain the power to overthrow Snoke. You couldn't, not when he had taken full control. Not when he had surpassed manipulation and was now physically guiding you.

You were blinded and it was now Snoke looking through your eyes, using your knowledge for his own good and doing what neither of his apprentices could do.

Landing your spacecraft on Ahch-To, you felt as if you had been shackled to the ground, forced to watch your own self do things you had no control over.

Sensing a presence that he hadn't felt in a long time, Luke lifted his head as he sucked in a breath. "What is it, Master Skywalker?" Rey asked but he only narrowed his eyebrows, lifting a hand.

Slowly walking away and towards the direction the life Force was felt, Luke's breath hitched. "Y/N?" He softly spoke, you—or, at least your vessel—had come into view. An ounce of happiness was felt to see you... but then he sensed something was off. Something was wrong. That fire within your eyes, that hostility in your Force... This wasn't you.

Watching you ignite the blue lightsaber—Ben's—Luke's eyes widened. "No!" He shouted, instantly reaching for his and igniting it, blocking your blows.

You were far more stronger than before. Far more aggressive. You lacked strategy, you just attacked and attacked with your all and stopped at nothing. Nothing Luke could do was stopping you. You were unstoppable. "It's time for the Light to end. The Jedi are no more, and neither should you be."

Hearing your words, Luke knew very well that wasn't you. You would never say or do such thing. He could sense something about you... Something within you that was very dark. Something monstrous. Something of pure evil. _Snoke_.

From afar, Rey heard the sound of lightsabers clashing and the faint voices. Rushing over, her eyes widened, only for her eyebrows to furrow. Just about ready to ignite the lightsaber she had taken as her own, ready to separate and stop you, you only reached your hand out and Force pushed her as she yelled, crashing harshly into a rock.

"You think... You can manipulate others into doing your work?!" You said.

"This isn't like you! You know this!" Luke said. "Don't let him do this to you! Remember what you were destined to do!"

"This is me! I have finally found my way in this galaxy!" You shot back, Luke trying his best to reason with you but nothing seemed to get into your head.

"No, this isn't! You were supposed to save Ben! Protect that light within Kylo! To bring him home!" Luke fought back, pressing his lightsaber against yours.

"There is no saving. Ben Solo is gone and soon will Kylo Ren be, too. It's only myself I have to save. From the light." You spoke with flames in your eyes. "Soon, the spark that lights up a portion of the galaxy will burn out and the darkness will take all. And I will reign... and rule the galaxy."

"No..." Luke shook his head. "This isn't you! You never wanted any of that! This is Snoke! He's manipulated you! He's turned you into his puppet! Snap out of it!" Luke shouted, knowing very well what he was sensing from within you.

In the depths of the vast galaxy, Kylo had tried everything in his power to reach out to you. To search. But he couldn't find anything... Nothing.

So he searched through the darkness. He looked for Snoke. And, somehow, he was able to find his way. Somewhere in an unknown region of the galaxy.

Finding himself on a blue planet with vast oceans, Kylo was quick to land his Silencer near a ship he knew to be yours. On a lone island.

Racing to find you, sensing three heavy presences in the Force... Two he recognized and one that made his heart race, Kylo quickened his pace. He could hear the distant shouting. The lightsabers humming. The sense of darkness versus light. He couldn't let you do this. He couldn't let the darkness win.

"Y/N!" Kylo shouted from afar, seeing you now in his line of vision. But, you didn't budge. No, you were too focused on Luke. On killing him. And Luke was trying everything to stop you without harming you. "Y/N!"

Waking up with a blurry vision, Rey sat up and grabbed her lightsaber, seeing Luke was losing his strength and stamina. "No-" She gasped, but before she could make her way back over, she was choking on her own breath.

Reaching your hand out and holding both in the air, Force choking them, Kylo's heart plummeted. It was too late. There was no light left within you. Nothing.

The darkness... Snoke had fully taken over.

Gritting his teeth and feeling the tears prick his eyes, Kylo ignited his lightsaber and broke into a sprint.

Hearing the crackling sound, you threw back Rey and Luke, turning yourself as you saw someone—Kylo—surging towards you.

Watching in horror as Luke tried catching his breath, his heart came to a stop and, suddenly, everything went silent.

The two of you stood there, looking into each others eyes—yours slowly filling with regret as Kylo's filled with sorrow. The slow tears dripping down his cheek before both lightsabers deactivated and fell from either of your grips.

"No..." Luke breathed out, the beams of light no longer penetrating either body, both life forms falling onto the ground. "NO!" He shouted, forcing himself up with a grunt. "It wasn't supposed to be this way!"


	38. No One Really is Gone

A faint gasp left the parted lips of Leia, her focus instantly turning away from what she had been doing as she felt as if something was torn away from her. Just like when she lost Han.

Looking off into the distance, as if searching for whatever it was she had lost, Leia's eyes suddenly welled up with tears. She knew what it was. Who it was. "Ben..." She whispered, voice faltering.

Feeling her legs tremble as she tried stabilizing herself on the panel she had been standing by, she only fell to her knees as she clutched her chest. The pain in her heart, it was far worse than what she had felt for Han.

"Leia?" Poe called out at the sight of her collapsing, rushing to her side and kneeling before her. "Leia, is everything alright?" He frantically asked as she stared off, eyebrows scrunched up as tears began to slip, one by one.

"It's time..." She muttered, looking Poe in the eyes as his eyebrows narrowed in confusion.

Getting a hold of her hand and helping her to her feet, Poe rested his free hand on her back. "Leia, what is it? What happened?" He asked, only to see the tears become more apparent. Looking at his surroundings at those looking at either of them, he quickly pulled her away to somewhere more private.

That's when she let it out. All the pent up pain and sadness. All the heartbreak she had felt all those years. The loss and fear. The fading hope. Ben was gone, and this time, for good. "I've lost Ben..." She cried. "I've lost him... For good." Shaking her head, feeling her body tremble, Poe pulled her to his chest. He knew exactly what she meant.

Rushing over to where the two bodies now lied, Luke fell to his knees beside Kylo—Ben... his _nephew_. "No... no. This was not how it was supposed to go." Luke shook his head, panicking. The two of you were meant to live, to find your freedom. To be away from the cruel grip the darkness had.

The two of you weren't supposed to die on him... or anyone. You were supposed to bring Ben home. The last hope. The one who could give him that last push into realizing where he had belonged.

Safe with his family.

Not out in the vastness that was death.

Eyeing the two of you, Luke forced either of you on to your backs, the incisions the lightsabers made making him cringe. Blinking as tears had filled his eyes, Luke shook his head. He couldn't let this go, not so easily. He had to do something. Try something.

"Master Skywalker..." Rey spoke up, standing from her spot after gaining her breath. But Luke didn't answer. He was focusing all his energy on either of you. All his Force on to the two of you. "Luke..."

Gritting his teeth as he reached out into the Force, exerting every ounce of energy within him, he took in deep breaths. Sweat trickling down his forehead as his tears slipped down his cheek.

Realizing just what he had been doing, the Force that was fading away from him, Rey reached out. "Master Skywalker, you are hurting yourself!" She shouted but he snapped his head in her direction with a shout.

"This is the _least_ I could do!" The tears in his eyes caused Rey to swallow as she took a small step back, watching as he turned his head back down. He was transmitting every bit of his energy into either of you and it was becoming too painful for Rey to watch. "Please... Please come back."

Watching with fear in her eyes, Rey's eyebrows furrowed at the sight, the way Luke begged and cried out. "Master Skywalker..." She gently spoke, voice shaking at the fear of losing him. Just about to walk towards him once again, three lone figures appeared. All glowing in blue.

"Has come... his time has." The shortest one had spoken, Rey faintly remembering him to be Yoda.

"There has to be another way..." She shook her head. "He's killing himself!"

"A life for a life. Force resurrection is a rare ability... And Luke is doing what he knows is right." The second Force ghost—Obi Wan—said as Rey shook her head again.

"I- I can't let him-"

"Luke saved me... and he will save them." Anakin said. "He's putting them before himself."

"Master Skywalker... Please..." Rey begged, feeling his life Force slowly slipping away.

Taking in heavy breaths, fighting through the ache of his body and against the desire to stop, Luke felt Kylo's—Ben's—Force slipping back. A faint grin on his lips as he felt his nephew come back to him. "I'm bringing you home..." Luke whispered.

Seeing the wound heal, Kylo woke in confusion, flinching in his spot as he yelled out, "Y/N!" Heavily breathing as he sat up, Kylo looked down at his stomach, then the hilt of his lightsaber, only to see Luke right beside him.

Realizing what he had been doing, Kylo latched onto Luke's shoulders. "S- Stop! Stop, you're killing yourself!" He shouted, getting a hold of his uncles arms and pushing them down as Luke tried forcing him away. "Luke, stop!"

"I don't care." Luke shook his head. "I need to do what's right. I've saved others from the corruption before... I won't fail to do it again."

"Luke... Please..." Kylo begged, his tears resurfacing at the sight of his uncle, at the feel of his Force fading away. "Please, stop. She's gone..."

Falling weak and holding himself up, Rey only rushed over and got a hold of Luke. "Master Skywalker..." She breathed, eyeing him, only to feel a tear slip.

Turning his attention over to you, he sucked in a breath. "I'm sorry... I failed her..." He spoke in a hoarse voice. Reaching his hand out, Kylo only grabbed onto it.

"N-no, you didn't. You didn't fail anyone. You never did." Kylo shook his head.

Looking up to his nephews eyes, no longer seeing the corrupted pair, but the ones he once remembered from when he was a little boy, Luke pulled him down and whispered in his ear. "Please return to your mother... She's paining and... she still loves you."

Swallowing as Kylo's eyebrows vibrated with how tight they were scrunched up, his grip on Luke's hand tightened. Leia was still alive. She was breathing. She was out there somewhere...

Nodding his head as he looked down at Luke, tear stained skin reflecting off of the binary sunset, Luke smiled and spoke once more. "Tell her, I was right... No one really is gone." At that, he disappeared from Rey's grip, leaving his robe behind.


	39. Free

Staring at the empty robe, blinking away tears, Rey's lips began to tremble as her grip shook on the material. Yet another person she held close to her, gone. She had only known Luke for a short period of time but she felt such a strong connection towards him—much like how she did with Han.

Turning his attention away from the robe, Kylo looked over at you, his shaky hand and knees bringing him to you as he crawled. Your still body lying on the ground as the gaping whole within you haunted him. "I've failed you..." Kylo lowly spoke in a shaky tone, reaching out to you and bringing you onto his lap. "I promised to protect you... But I couldn't. I couldn't save you on time. I couldn't... I couldn't prevent you from following the same path I went on." His voice cracked, vision blurred.

He knew you were gone, and he knew he was the reason behind it, but he saw no other way around. He saw no other way of saving you, only acting on what he believed to be the only way to save you. And he regretted it.

Kylo believed he could've done more, that he could've prevented it in some way... but he knew, deep down, you were gone. Snoke had you attached to his strings and took control. Like a puppet. Something he once was.

Bringing you closer to him as his grip began to shake, holding tight enough to feel you against him, he pressed his lips against the top of your head. Trying to catch his breath as he tried holding in the tears, tears that—no matter how hard he tried—slipped. Slowly until they began to stream. "Please, come back... I'm sorry. I was afraid! I thought Snoke had you and that there was no way to save you... That the only way to free you was to- to-" Unable to finish the sentence, he began to vibrate violently. The reality of him coming back to life rather than you.

It should have been you. You should have been the one to come back instead of him. You had so much more to live for. It wasn't your fault, the life you were living, you deserved so much better... And now it was all gone. Your chance to find your way, the right path... It was taken away from you because of him... Because of Snoke.

Lifting her eyes from the robe, Rey listened in on Kylo's words, she watched the way he shook in his spot. On his knees and holding you tightly. His begging words and the way he cried out against your hair. She never thought she'd ever see this side from him.

But then, she froze in her spot after the last three words that slipped his tongue. The three words she was sure he couldn't possibly express. Not for anyone. Not from a monster like him. But when they left his mouth, they were so pure... So truthful. Straight from his heart... And that darkness that once consumed was hardly sensed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I-" Sucking in a shaky breath, he lifted you closer, his hand deep in your hair as your cheek pressed against his. Eyes clenched shut as his arm wrapped around your waist, keeping you in place. "Please, come back to me!" He shouted, aggravated in the fact that he couldn't hear you breath or that your heart wasn't pounding against him. Aggravated in the fact that he failed you when you had put your trust in him.

Standing up from her spot as she held tightly onto Luke's robe, she walked over to Kylo. "Kylo... You should take her into one of the huts." She lightly spoke, Kylo rocking with you in his grip. "It's getting dark out."

Swallowing, he slowly nodded before lifting you in his arms, tears still slipping as he followed Rey.

Leading him to one of the huts, one he hadn't known was the one you stayed in, he quietly walked in as Rey let him be. She had to reach out to the Resistance, to tell them... To let Leia know.

Rushing over to the Falcon, entering the ramp and over to the canopy, she tried getting a sort of signal. A connection for anyone to hear her. "Yes... Yes, it's Rey." She spoke as they had answered her. "The Millennium Falcon... Ahch-To... Please tell General Organa that he's almost home." Nodding her head, she swallowed. "Yes, thank you." At that, she leaned away and sucked in a deep breath.

Rubbing her face, thinking about the fact that Leia must've felt Luke's death, Rey sighed. Leaning against the seat she was sitting on, looking out the window and seeing the moon shine bright in the night sky, she looked down at her lap, Luke's robe now folded up as she brushed her fingers against it. She only wished there was another way... To still have him there with her.

Sitting on his knees beside the cot he had rested you on, Kylo held one of your hands in his own, pressing a kiss against the back of it as he kept his eyes on you. He couldn't possibly sleep, no matter how many hours would pass or how exhausted he had become. He wanted you back, there, breathing. He wanted you to hold his hand back, to tell him everything was okay, that you were alive.

Kylo wanted to look into your eyes and confess, not saying it to your unconscious body. Not saying it to nothing... Not saying it without getting a response back. He wanted you to know. He wanted you to feel loved, even if he—himself—had never given love. He would've tried for you, tried his best to make it known, to make you feel it. To let you know that no one would ever hurt you again, that you would be forever safe with him...

But, even then... he couldn't keep that promise.

"Please come back to me..." Kylo begged, hoping... praying to the stars, wishing the Force would be by his side for once. To bring you back to him, to bring you back to the galaxy... That you'd get to live to see another day. He just wanted you alive. To get your second chance, free from the pain and worry and suffering. "Please, Y/N..." His voice shook, cracking and coming out as a soft plea. "I'm begging..."

Hours had passed him by, the early hours of the morning haunting him. His eyes were falling heavy and his muscles were aching, begging him to rest. But, he couldn't. He couldn't, not when he was stubborn enough to believe that—if he begged enough—you'd come back

Letting his head hang as he stared at the ground, eyes burning from the never ending tears as his chest ached, his eyebrows suddenly narrowed. Something... Something in the Force was felt. Something weak, but something was there.

Lifting his head and looking at you, his heart raced. He was hoping the Force wasn't taunting him or that he was going crazy enough to sense things that weren't truly there.

But then, he felt your fingers twitch against his grip as his breath hitch. His eyes widened as they stayed locked on your chest, in hopes he'd see it rise. Then, it fell to your stomach... The injury no longer there. "Y/N..." He breathed, standing up and looking down at you. "Y/N?" Feeling your Force slowly seep back, brushing against his own, his breath got caught.

He could feel it, feel it like he could feel all the other life Forces on the island... on the planet. Feeling his heart race, he could sense the calmness from you... The light... The lack of corruption.

Lifting you up and resting your head on his lap as he waited, watching your chest slowly rise, Kylo watched intently. "Come back to me... Come back to me..." He spoke in a hushed voice, brushing his shaky fingers against your face. "Please-"

Gasping as your eyes shot open, fear coursing through your veins of the unknown as panic consumed you, you sat up and felt your chest heave, only for a pair of arms to pull you tightly into them. Taking in deep breaths as you were pressed against who ever it was, you looked over and saw a head of dark hair... Then, you sensed them. "Kylo..." You nearly whispered, feeling him brush his fingers through your hair as he buried his face into your shoulder. Crying. Whimpering.

Confusion had overcome you as you felt his grip tighten around you. But then, you remembered. The lack of control, the way your life flashed before you within that moment you felt yourself burden with regret... The hint of sorrow that you saw in Kylo's eyes when you felt the burning blade pierce through you. You were dead, you died. How were you there? Or, had this been the afterlife.

With the lack of darkness that had its hand around your throat, and the lack of walls that you needed to keep you safe, you took in a shaky breath. You must've been dead, amongst the stars with Kylo. But then your eyes wandered the stone walls... the cot you had been sitting on. The hut. Ahch-To. "Y/N..." Kylo breathed against you.

Kylo was alive... You were alive.

Swallowing, you wrapped your arms around him and held him close. Burying your hands into his hair as your eyes weld up with tears, you couldn't help but breathe him in. Pressing a kiss against his temple and resting your face against his. His crying echoed within the hut as you held him as close to you as possible. "It's okay... It's okay." You mumbled against his cheek as you lifted his head.

"I'm sorry..." Kylo said, looking you in the eyes.  "I was afraid... I thought there was-"

"Shh..." You hushed, wiping his tears away, kissing his cheeks. "You did what you had to do. That was the only way of freeing me."

"But I-"

"Kylo." Looking him in the eyes, you shook your head. "It's okay... We're here now. I'm free..." You said, Kylo holding tightly onto your wrists as he nodded.

Moving his hands to hold your face, he looked deeply into your eyes, searching them. They were far brighter than the moment he first 'met' you through the Force connection. There was so much brightness within them that it made his heart flutter. "You're free..." He breathed, only to pull you into a strong kiss, lips crashing against your as his tears go caught in the mix. "You're free."

"Mhm..." You hummed against his lips, kissing him back. "Snoke is gone... I no longer hear him... I don't feel the darkness." Nodding his head, Kylo rested his forehead against yours, breathing you in, hold your face and looking you in the eye before closing his own pair. "We're free." Bringing him back into a tight hug, holding each other for as long as you could, you leaned away. "Where's Luke? I need to... I need to apologize."

Leaning back, Kylo looked at you before swallowing. "Luke... Luke is the reason why we're alive."

"Huh?" You tilted your head.

"Force resurrection... He brought us two back, in the extent of taking his own." Narrowing your eyebrows, Kylo took in a small breath as you stayed silent, eyeing him. "He wasn't upset... He was proud of you. You sacrificed yourself... You did something so selfless, at the sake of your own life. The light within you... Risking it all. You fulfilled your destiny." Slowly nodding and feeling the tears brim your eyes, Kylo brushed his thumb against your cheeks, swiping those that had slipped, away.

"He's gone..."

"No one really is gone." Kylo said, pushing some of your hair behind your ears, kissing your forehead. "He's still with us... Out there somewhere."

"What do we do now?" You asked him, searching his eyes.

"I have one thing in mind." He nodded, standing up and reaching for your hand before exiting the hut, searching and finding Rey.

Turning from her spot as she had been heading back to the Falcon, Rey looked over. "You're... Alive..."

Nodding, you slid from Kylo's grip and walked over to her. "I'm sorry-"

"It's okay." She shook her head. "It's okay." Looking you in the eyes, she gave you a faint smile. "I'm Rey..." She reached her hand out, you smiling back and shaking her hand.

"Y/N." You introduced but she let out a small laugh.

"I know who you are... I've heard a few stories from Master Skywalker." Rey nodded as you wore a faint blush.

Walking over to your side after watching the interaction, Kylo spoke up, directing his words towards Rey. "I need a favor..."


	40. Thank You

The faint sounds of Porgs chirping and shrieking filled the moving breeze that swiftly flowed against yours, Kylo's, and Rey's hairs. The distant roar of the ocean water crashing against the island walls echoing and the faint sounds of the Care Taker's speaking, was heard.

To your surprise, after that terror that had occurred hours ago, there was no hostility felt within the three of you. Kylo stood close to you, enough to feel your arm against his—a reminder to him, to let him know that you were there. Alive. Breathing... _Real_.

Taking in a deep breath as you kept your eyes on Rey as hers moved between you and Kylo, then to the pair of suns that had risen, she slowly nodded. "What is it?" She asked, looking back over at Kylo. Someone she still believed could change, and with what she felt around him—and the words she heard him say to you—she knew there still was hope.

"I need... I want us to go to the new Resistance base." Kylo spoke, reaching a hand to rest on your shoulder, the one furthest from him.

Blinking, Rey's eyebrows lightly narrowed. Hesitant for a moment, she let out a small sigh. "Do I have your word that you will not try anything? That you would not exploit the new base to anyone?" Rey asked, arms now crossing as Kylo nodded.

"Yes." He answered, you looking up at him for a moment with a faint smile. He was going to do something he should've done a long time ago. You could feel it. "I just... There's something I have to do."

Searching his eyes with a small squint of her own, sensing no malice behind his words, Rey nodded. "Okay."

Sucking in a breath, Kylo let out a faint "Thank you" as Rey turned and walked away, the two of you following.

Walking down the manmade steps and following behind Rey, you looked over your shoulder to see the X-Wing you lifted in the far distance. With a faint smile and a stinging sensation in your eyes, you looked back ahead—Kylo noticing this.

Tuning his head to see where you had been looking, he hadn't noticed it till then. Swallowing, easily recognizing... Sensing whose it belonged to, he turned his attention back down to you. Your eyes were low and your eyebrows were slightly knitted.

Removing his hand from your shoulder, he took yours in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze, you quickly looking up at him and seeing the look in his eyes. As if he were saying it was all going to be alright.

"You did that, didn't you?" Kylo asked, but in a sense, stated. By the beat up look of it, at least what he could see from afar, it must've been underwater. For quite some time.

"Yeah..." You lowly answered, Rey looking over for a moment to see the two of you, only to look back ahead, wondering what Luke would've thought if he had seen this. "It was... A long night. Nightmares had consumed me and I needed to do something. So, I lifted an X-Wing out of the water." You breathed as Kylo smiled.

"Impressive."

"That's what your uncle said." You chuckled. "And Yoda."

Instantly furrowing his eyebrows, Kylo's head tilted. "Yoda?"

"Force ghosts haunt this island." You jokingly teased, although a tear had slipped your eye, you instantly wiped it away and smiled. "I'm sure Luke will soon join in on the fun."

Nodding his head slowly, Kylo spoke, "You've gotta tell me more about that one day..."

"Definitely." You smiled up at him before the two of you looked ahead, Kylo coming to a stop at the prized vessel. The "piece of junk" as nearly everyone called it... as he did not too long ago.

"What is it?" You asked as Kylo's hand had tugged you back, unintentionally.

"I..." Taking in a deep breath, Kylo swallowed. "That's my father's ship."

Looking ahead, you then turned your head back to look at him. "That piece of junk?" You asked. "Is that why you-"

"It was blinded rage." He admitted. "Come on." Fighting against his emotions, Kylo walked ahead, over to where Rey had lowered the ramp and boarded it.

Walking closely beside Kylo, your eyes wandered the ship as you followed up the ramp, walking over to where you saw a round table and seating around it. "You two can sit there if you want... Or feel free to wander." Rey spoke, directing the last words towards Kylo. As if insisting he relish in the possible memories he had on that ship.

"Thank you." You spoke up, seeing her disappear behind a wall.

Pulling you with him, the two of you sat down as Kylo let go of your hand, placing it on your knee. "This is a game." He said, pushing a few buttons on the table as you watched.

"Oh, what game?" You curiously asked.

"Dejarik. Pretty fun. Can get competitive." He nodded, seeing the holograms appear, seeming as if it was starting from the middle of a previous match. Almost as if no one had played with it in ages. "I've never really played it... But we can learn..." Kylo said, looking over at you with a wink as you chuckled.

"Sure..."

Spending a good fifteen minutes learning and playing the game, defeating Kylo multiple times as you clapped, he only shut it off out of aggravation. "You cheated. You cheated, that's for sure."

"No way!" You exclaimed. "You're just a sore loser!"

Grinning, Kylo only rolled his eyes. "I'm just a competitive man." Shaking his head, you reached out and grabbed his chin.

"Whatever you say, love." Winking, you patted his cheek before turning and resting against him. "So... this is your dad's ship, huh?"

"Yeah, the Millennium Falcon. I have plenty of stories with it... one you wouldn't be too fond of." He said, wrapping an arm around your waist as your eyebrows narrowed.

"And that is?" Sitting up and looking at him, he pushed his hand through his hair.

"I, uh..."

"Kylo... Did you have your first time... in here?" You asked, stifling a laugh.

"Possibly-"

"Wow!" You laughed. "I never thought you'd be the kind. Thought your first time was something like in your hut at the temple or... I don't know, just not here." Shrugging, Kylo's eyebrows narrowed.

"Are you trying to offend me? I'll have you know she was some pilot's daughter and she was dying to see the inside of the Falcon and I said okay."

"That's it?" You lifted a brow.

"Yes. Well, she kissed me as a thank you and then it lead to more-"

"So, you two weren't even... a thing?" Your eyebrows lifted.

"No way, she only used me for the fact that my dad was Han Solo." He scoffed as you grinned.

"It's okay, I hardly know anything about your parents so I love you for you." You nodded, patting his chest, looking away and completely missing the harsh blush that had crept on Kylo's face at your unintentional confession.

"Y/N..." He softly spoke your name, you looking back over at him and seeing his blush.

"Yeah? What? I'm not lying or anything." You shook your head but Kylo just stared at you... _gazed_ at you.

Swallowing, he reached his free hand and placed it on the back of your head, his other arm still around your waist as he brought you close to him. Feeling his lips press against yours, catching you off guard, you kissed him back.

Separating himself and resting his cheek against yours, he only brought you into his lap as both arms now encased your waist. "Kylo?" You spoke, feeling him tremble against you. "Hey, what happened? What is it?" You softly asked, feeling him burry his face into your neck, faint words muttered against your neck. "Hmm? What is it? I can't hear you?" Running your fingers down his back as your other brushed through his hair, Kylo kissed your shoulder.

"I-" Hearing his words muffle, your eyes narrowed for a moment, trying to hear what he was saying, but you could hardly listen.

"Kylo, my stars, what is it? Is it the ship? Is it me?" Tightening his grip he breathed in before moving his lips away from your shoulder.

"I'm in love... with you." He breathed as your breath hitched, heart skipping a beat. "I've fallen... I fell in love with you... in that moment we lied in bed together and you said you've never been in love. That... when you believed no one would love someone who had a demon living within them, I wanted to say I do... Because, just like you, I had demons living within me. And I knew what it felt like. And I knew you didn't deserve any of it... That I felt as if I was the only one who understood you because I... I saw myself within you." He breathed.

"And... and all those times we spoke, and when you helped me with Snoke. When you helped me... knowing the fact that, even though you had no idea as to who Ben Solo was, you did whatever it took to save... me. Even if that meant risking the light within you."

Sitting in silence as you listened to his voice falter, you bit your bottom lip and sucked in a small breath. "Through you, seeing your struggles and troubles, I learned from my mistakes. What wrong I've done. Seeing what I had been through, through someone else..." Stopping in his track, Kylo took in a deep breath, you feeling his tears hit your shoulder, seeping through your clothing. "Thank you..."

Shutting your eyes and breathing in, you found yourself within your mind. No walls, no forest, just... open greenery. A bright sky and afternoon sun beaming down. "I knew you had it in you."

Turning in your spot, you saw Ben standing there with a whole hearted smile. "Ben..." Taking slow steps towards him, your eyes wandered him, his lightsaber at his hip.

"I'm sorry it had to go such way... But I'm glad you've made it through." He nodded as you smiled.

"I had my anchor... Although it slipped from my grip momentarily, I was able to gain it once again." You said as Ben took a step closer to you. "You... Kylo... Ben Solo."

"Same person." He winked as you let out a small chuckle. "You helped bring him back. He may still be a bit rigid... but, he's there. I'm there."

"It wasn't just me." You shook your head. "Luke... and Leia. They helped in their own ways. I was just the extra push."

Smiling, Ben looked down at you. "The push he needed." He said.

"Thank you, Ben. For guiding me... Helping."

"You did it all on your own, kiddo." He winked, placing a hand on your shoulder. "But, I don't think you should spend your time in here when you've got something to hold onto in reality."

"Kylo..." You breathed, thinking about his words, only to feel Ben hugging you.

"Thank you..." He faintly spoke, your arms wrapping around him as your eyes closed, opening them to see you were back on the Falcon.

Lifting Kylo's face from your shoulder, wiping the few tears he tried so hard to hold in, you gave him a smile that made his heart ache. A sincere, genuine smile. "Thank _you_." Lowering your hands to the back of his neck, you kissed his cheek before you kissed his lips.

Holding you tightly against him, he kissed you back before you leaned away and looked him in the eyes. Gazing into them, seeing the true hazel color they held rather than the near-black they seemed to have before. You saw the light, the hope, the faint glow in them that let you know there was a change.

Kissing his forehead, you then rested your head on his shoulder, Kylo holding you close to him as he shut his eyes, thinking about what would've happened if your paths never crossed... Yet, thanking the stars above that they had.

Landing on the new base and exiting the canopy, Rey walked out and saw the two of you cuddled up together, a smile on her lips. She had overheard parts of the conversation and couldn't help but think about Luke and Leia... To think about Han.  How they all would've been so happy, how Leia would be happy the moment she sees him, and the girl that gave him the push.


	41. May the Force be With You

"We've landed." Rey spoke up as she held a pair of lightsabers in her grip, placing it on the table as the two of you woke up from a small nap, Kylo needing it the most.

Pressing the ramp button and walking down, Rey was greeted by Poe with a bright smile. "Rey." He bowed his head as she smiled back. "Is everything alright?" He asked, sensing something was... off.

"I need to speak to Leia... I've brought something. Uh, someone." Rey swallowed with a nod as Poe's eyebrows lightly knitted.

"If it's anything of the matter, I'm the new General now." He stated as her eyebrows lifted.

"Really? That's amazing!" She grinned.

"Yeah, Leia-" Cutting himself off as he saw Kylo walking down the ramp along side some woman, he took a protective stance.

Looking over, Rey let out a small breath before holding Poe's shoulder. "It's okay. I need to take them to Leia."

"Alright." He breathed, making strong eye-contact with Kylo as Kylo stared back, you interlocking your fingers with his. Turning away, Poe lead the way as you two followed, only to see Rey falter from the path as someone caught her attention.

"Rey!" Looking over and seeing a man rush up to Rey, engulfing her in a hug, you smiled.

"Finn..." She breathed, shutting her eyes into the hug, holding him tightly. Feeling Kylo tug you along, you looked away and followed.

"A little warning in advance, I am the new General, and I am well aware that you have become the Supreme Leader." Poe spoke, although his focus still ahead. "You'll be dealing with me."

"I have... something else in mind." Kylo said, taking in a deep breath as you then looked up at him, wondering what that was.

Approaching a door that slid open, Poe stepped away and allowed you two in, Kylo stopping in his tracks at the backside of the figure. The familiar sense and the change in his emotion... this must've been his mother. Leia.

Standing there and slowly turning in her spot, afraid that what she felt in the Force was too good to be true, not when she believed she had lost everyone, a gasp left Leia's lips as her eyes landed on Kylo. Ben... Her _son_.

Her son who had been alive. Breathing. Standing there before her... and with his hand in someone else's.

Feeling tears slip from her eyes, she smiled, rushing forward without a care and embracing him tightly. With the tightest grip she could muster.

"Ben..." She whimpered, you slipping your grip from Kylo's so he could hold her back.  "You're... You're alive. You're here... You're home." Sucking in a breath, she looked up at him, the eyes she hadn't seen in so long. The same eyes she dreamt about for so long and missed. The eyes of her one and only child. "I thought I lost you."

Shaking his head, Kylo swallowed. "I have you and Luke to thank... and-"

"Her..." Leia finished for him, looking over at you with a sweet smile.

"Yes..." Kylo softly smiled. "Luke told me... to tell you that no one is really gone."

Letting out a small laugh, she nodded. "Of course he did..." Only to deeply inhale. "What happened?"

"He-" Biting his inner lip, Kylo looked over at you as you gave him a small nod. "He brought Y/N and I back to life... I had defeated Snoke and he haunted her through the Force. Manipulated her and controlled her..." Kylo said as Leia's eyes widened. "And she was... She was gone. The darkness had her. And I feared there was no other way to save her. She—Snoke—went to kill Luke, and... I went after her and we both met the ends of either lightsaber."

Blinking, Leia took in a small breath, turning her attention over to you as you stood there, quietly. "I'm sorry." Leia spoke, but you shook your head.

"Mom..." At the sound of that, Leia's attention snapped over to her son. "Luke found her, he helped train her... and, one thing lead to another, she was trying to... save me. We had this sort of... connection through the Force. If it wasn't for her... Who knows what would've happened." Kylo sighed, Leia looking back at you as you lowered your gaze.

Feeling a smile tug at her lips, Leia sensed how selfless you were. The greatness within you. The light. The hope. She admired it. "I nearly lost all my hope on Crait... But Luke helped restore it. He was right." Lifting your attention as Leia smiled, she turned to Kylo. "You're home."

"I... I have a proposition." He spoke. "I'm the Supreme Leader now, but, I have an idea. To join Forces." Kylo said as your eyes widened.

Sighing, Leia crossed her arms. "I'm no longer 'in charge', I'd have to speak to Poe." She said as Kylo nodded. "But... I think it could work. For now, let me give you two a room, I'm sure you need some rest and relaxation." Leia smile, placing a hand on Kylo's arm.

"Thank you." Kylo nodded, reaching his hand out for you to take.

"So, who's this lovely lady I have to thank?" Leia mumbled over to Kylo as he grinned.

"This is Y/N." He introduced as you lightly blushed.

"Hmm..." Leia hummed, lifting an eyebrow as she looked up at her son. "You're in love." Blinking at his mother's words, the heat that elevated to his face, she only grinned. "It's okay, you both are. I'm very happy." Patting his back, she nodded. "But, you will have to tell me more about her eventually if you do get married one day."

"Mom." He cleared his throat, you acting oblivious to the matter, letting the two have a moment.

"Anyway, here you two go. I'll come back in an hour. For now, shower, rest... Whatever you need." Giving Kylo's free hand a squeeze, she smiled at you before walking away.

"She's a lovely woman." You spoke up, watching her leave as Kylo had done the same.

"Yeah..." Turning to face the door and opening it, he pulled you in.

Just about to eye the room, Kylo instantly engulfed you in a hug, lifting you and causing a small grunt to leave your lips as your arms hung over his own.

"You don't understand how fearful I was the moment you left the room. When I couldn't find you in the halls. When I couldn't sense you in the Force..." Kylo said, taking in a deep breath. "I feared I lost you for good. When I found you with my uncle... I knew there was only one way to stop you." Tightening his grip, he continued, "I'm sorry."

Shaking your head as you wrapped your arms over his shoulders, "It's what you had to do. It was fate... I saw it in my dreams. I just never thought it'd be because of that..." Feeling his eyes widen, Kylo gulped. "But our destiny was in Luke's hands. He saved us. We have him to thank."

Nodding his head, Kylo lowered you, pressing a long kiss against your forehead. "The fear of me living rather than you ate me alive. You deserved it more than I did. A fresh start-"

"Hey," Grabbing his hand, you gave him a smile, "we _both_ did." Looking into his eyes as he gazed into your own, a gentle smile growing on his lips, you looked over at the washroom before speaking again. "And I think we both deserve a shower." You chuckled as Kylo let out a small laugh.

"Yeah." Pulling you with him, over to the washroom, the two of you undressed each other. "You know, I like this look on you. Makes me wish you were with me when I was training to be a Jedi."

Blushing at his words as he took off the hand wraps, you shook your head. "At least you have me now."

Removing the last bit of your clothing, as his own, he pulled you into the shower. "Very true."

Spending a good half hour or so in the shower, cleaning up and having small talk here and there, Kylo offering to wash your hair as you gladly accepted, you were just about to exit the shower until you turned to face him.

Brushing the strands of hair that suck to his face over his head and behind his ears, you ran your finger tips down his scar before you spoke. "Even though the path I treaded on was one of the toughest... I'm glad I did." You nodded. "For once, I felt as if I was doing something right. Not running... Not hiding. But fighting. Trying. Helping." You said while keeping your eyes on his scar. "And I met you... I'll be honest, I never thought I'd get anything out of you in the terms of a relationship. I thought, if anything, we'd be acquaintances..." You truthfully spoke as Kylo smiled, your eyes moving to his pink lips.

"But we connected... in ways I've never connected with anyone before. And we saw eye to eye. And... I saw more within you than what you put out."

"And then I saw those letters... and the image." You inhaled. "I'm sorry I looked through it... But, it gave me hope."

"That's why you put it under my pillow..." He stated rather than asked.

"Yes... I'm sorry that I made you cry." Lowering your eyes to the bottom of the shower, Kylo blinked before his breath got caught.

"You... heard me?" He thought he was quiet enough.

"No, I sensed your emotions. It wasn't my intentions to sadden you. But, you needed the reminder." You said. "When we were on Crait, in that base, I sensed what you had been sensing. Your mother." Looking up at him, feeling the shower water pat against your face, Kylo looked you in the eyes.

"We truly are connected, huh." He smirked as you smiled, shaking your head and resting your forehead against his chest.

"I love you." You softly spoke, Kylo's heart skipping a beat as he looked down at you.

Rubbing his hands up and down your arms, he then moved them up to you face, cupping your cheeks and looking you in the eyes. Seeing the brightness within them, the soft gaze you held, he leaned forward and kissed you before muttering against your lips. "I love you."

Bringing you back to his chest as he held you, the two of you stayed there a bit longer before getting out. Eventually drying up and changing, the two of you lied on the single bed for a while, holding each other close. Resting against Kylo's chest and listening to his heartbeat as he ran his fingers through your hair, kissing the top of your head.

Hearing a soft knock on the door, breaking the calming silence that lingered around the two of you, you sat up with a sigh, slipping from Kylo's arms. Reaching out to you, Kylo sat up and got a hold of your cheek, turning your head to kiss you.

"Ben, Y/N?" Hearing Leia speak out, you kissed Kylo back before pushing away with a grin, standing up and walking over, opening the door. "Poe would like to speak to either of you."

"Okay." You nodded, Kylo walking over and grabbing your hand as either of you followed Leia.

Poe, to either yours and Kylo's surprise, had agreed to the treaty. But, of course, had a few rules—which Kylo said he'd comply with. "It'll be a slow change, but I promise to make it happen." Kylo said as you two stood hand in hand. "Even if that means ridding a few... officers."

"I have a few tricks up my sleeves." Leia winked. "But, I know you can do this. I have hope." She smiled as Kylo nodded.

"Thank you. Both of you." Kylo said to Leia and Poe. "It's going to be... a process. A long transition-"

"I believe in you." Leia said, resting a hand on her son's arm. "No matter how long it takes, you'll make things right." She smiled, moving her hand up to his cheek and looking him in the eyes. "After all, you were my only hope." Swallowing, Kylo nodded. "I suggest you get going, the sooner the better." She teased.

"I was able to get you two an unmarked vessel to return to the Supremacy. You can make contact with us through it." Poe said. "And don't screw this up, I won't be afraid to bring down the Supremacy like I did the Dreadnaught."

"Wouldn't doubt it." Kylo sighed. "Thank you." Seeing Poe bow his head, he turned and walked away. "I-"

"Save it." Leia lifted a hand. "At least I know you're okay and you won't do anything stupid. Y/N here will smack some sense into you." She winked at you as you smiled. "I'll see you again soon, I know it." Leia nodded at either of you before pulling Kylo into a hug, whispering into his ear. "Keep her close and don't let go. She's your anchor, as you are to her."

Hugging her back, Kylo then leaned away before nodding, taking your hand again. Walking away with Kylo to the ship Poe had given either of you, you looked over your shoulder as Leia watched the two of you. Seeing a smile grown on her lips, you smiled back before she waved, the shine in her eyes letting you know she had been tearing up.

Waving back at her, you turned your focus back ahead. "You better visit your mother often. You're lucky to have someone like her in your life. She cares a whole lot about you."

"I will. _We_ will." He nodded. "We are in this together. You're stuck with me now." Turning to look down at you, you rolled your eyes. "And, possibly, forever."

"Forever sounds nice." You nodded with a smile, letting go of his hand and wrapping your arm around his waist as his moved over your shoulders.

Watching as you and Kylo walked up the ramp, seeing the two of you turn and wave before the ramp closed, waving back with a smile and watery eyes, Leia sucked in a breath. Hoping that things would only go up from there.

"I've never been more proud of the two of you." Hearing the familiar voice, you and Kylo turned from the canopy, just about ready to take the seats of the vessel. "Through darkness, you found light within one another. And I'm glad I kept that spark going."

"Luke..." Your breath hitched, eyes wide. "I'm-"

Lifting a hand, he shook his head. "All is well. You were right, the Resistance... the light, they needed me." Nodding, you sucked in a breath.

"Thank you." Kylo spoke.

Bowing, Luke smiled. "Your journeys aren't over with. Destiny has more left for the two of you. It's you two now, bring the balance back." Wrapping your arm around Kylo's and holding his upper arm, the two of you nodded. "May the Force be with you, always."


	42. A Place to Get Away

Taking the co-pilot seat, manning the panel as you moved from buttons to switches, Kylo watched you intently. So you knew how to fly. He should've seen this coming, with you being a Force user and from Corellia. He found it to be impressive.

"You can pilot?" Kylo asked, breaking the silence between the two of you as you nodded.

"Yeah, that ship that I took to Ahch-To was mine. Astrobleme." You admitted, turning your head to look at Kylo.

"Astrobleme?" He asked as you let out a faint chuckle. 

"She has a name. Uh, it... My ship does. What person doesn't name their ship?" You shrugged as he lightly smiled, thinking about the Millennium Falcon—and a few others that came to mind. "Sadly... She's back on Ahch-To."

Seeing the frown on your lips, Kylo leaned over and kissed your temple before manning the ship on his end. "We'll get her back."

Smiling to yourself, you looked at him momentarily before looking ahead, out the window. The stars now came into your view as you took in a small breath. There was nothing like open space. Something about the isolation... yet, the vastness of it, all entranced you. Much like the freckles on Kylo's skin.

"You know, I have my own ship... the Silencer." He said. "Although it's back on Ahch-To... We could get them back. I'd love to see you pilot the TIE..."

Looking back over at Kylo, you grinned. "Really?"

"Mhm."

"We should get them now... Leave this one behind..." You suggested, hesitantly, Kylo then looking over at you.

"Yeah." He nodded. Although a sudden decision, you were surprised Kylo went with it.

The two of you jumped to light-speed and swiftly made your way back to Ahch-To and the island you were once on. Once you saw it come into view, you couldn't help but think about the first time you had went to it and found Luke. The real Luke. Not his projection.

Landing the ship where the Falcon once was, you lowered the ramp and walked out, standing there for a moment and eyeing what you could see before Kylo had placed a hand on your lower back and guided you with him.

Finding your ship first, Kylo watched you open the ramp up and took a step back to let it lower. "I'll see you back on the Supremacy." He said to you from behind, you looking over and nodding.

Looking over at the ramp, you then turned to face him, rushing up to him and pulling him down into a quick kiss. Kissing you back, you were just about to separate, but Kylo got a hold of you and kept you close for a moment longer.

Moving his lips to your cheek, you wrapped your arms around him and held him to you. "I love you." You whispered, Kylo shutting his eyes momentarily before kissing your temple.

"I love you, too." He breathed, letting go of you as you smiled up at him, then turning and walking up the ramp. "Hey."

Turning and looking at him, you responded. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Shaking your head, you smiled. "Always." At that, you left from his sight, Kylo soon making his way to his TIE as the two of you eventually returned to the Supremacy.

Snarling as he walked down the halls with the taste of sheer disappointment on his tongue, Hux clenched his fists. He had found out that the Supreme Leader had left suddenly without a word. He was also told that you had left just before him.

Something was up and he wasn't liking it one bit. He knew there was more to it. To the fact that Kylo was still alive and you were now working alongside him.

And he knew there was something going on between the two of you, he just couldn't tell what.

Coming to a stop at the hangar, seeing Kylo's TIE land, Hux's eyes narrowed. Seeing a figure walk up to him, Hux leaned and saw it was you, walking exceedingly close to one another, dressed in odd clothing and saying something he couldn't comprehend. Although the two of you were smart enough not to do anything more than walk and talk, Hux could see the faint tension there, especially with how close your arms were, nearly brushing

Deciding to follow as quietly as he could, he watched as either of you walked down the halls, all the way to where the living quarters were—to Kylo's chambers.

"How is this going to work?" You asked Kylo, who now looked over at you.

"How is what going to work?" His eyebrows narrowed but you tilted your head and gave him a look. "The treaty."

"Yeah..." You nodded.

"Well, it's going to take some time... It'll be a hard transition. Plenty of officers will be against it. Hux would, definitely." Hearing his name, Hux leaned closer to the door as he had moved to it.

"We can do it." You nodded with a smile. "This'll make things right once and for all, bring true peace and balance."

Glaring, Hux's nose scrunched up. What were either of you talking about? "The Resistance need us. Their numbers are too small. And who knows who else is out there supporting them, it seems as if they didn't get help."

"That's why we'll join forces."

Feeling his eyes widen, Hux instantly took a step back in disgust. Join forces? With the Resistance? He knew there was no good in having someone as _weak_ as Kylo to rule the First Order. He feared something as _terrible_ as this would happen.

And he couldn't let Kylo go on with it.

Looking down at you as he nodded, Kylo rested his hand against your cheek, leaning in and kissing your forehead. "Do you still think we're connected?" You asked as he looked you in the eyes. "You know, the Force calls and all."

"I don't know." He said, truthfully. "After our... deaths. I'm not sure."

"Maybe we are..." You softly spoke. "There were ways I was able to reach out to Ben... You, your Force that lived through your lightsaber." You said, moving your hand onto his wrist as your other rested against his chest.

"How?" Kylo asked.

"Mediation. I can show you how? Maybe that way we can see if we're still connected." You said as Kylo nodded. Dropping your hand and grabbing his, you pulled him over to his couch. "Come on, it's easy."

Sitting beside one another, you crossed your legs as Kylo had done the same. "Think about the world around you, your surroundings. Inner and outer. Space... The vessel... The life forms. All of it." You softly spoke as you shut your eyes, Kylo looking over at you before doing the same. "Then, you'll find me."

Taking in a deep breath, Kylo opened his eyes to see a vastness of green. Grass all around him, hills and a distant waterfall. Naboo. He easily recognized Lake Country. The place he had taken you. The place you two first kissed.

Feeling a presence beside him, Kylo turned his head. "Naboo?"

"Mhm." You nodded with a smile. "I've grown to love this planet... It's become my happy place." You admitted. "I don't know why... but I feel a connection to it. A strong one."

Eyeing you, a faint smile was on Kylo's lips before he looked back ahead as you had been already. "It's your happy place." He stated rather than questioned.

"It's become it. I no longer have to hide behind walls. This is my inner peace." You admitted, reaching for his hand and holding it tightly "And, if you ever need to find a place to get away to, you're more than welcome here." You smiled up at him, tiptoeing and kissing his cheek.

"Thank you." He breathed, shutting his eyes before opening them again to see he was in his quarters once again, your hand now in his like in the vision.

Hearing a faint yawn, you opened your eyes and looked over at Kylo, seeing how tired he was. His eyes hardly staying open as the bags underneath were more prominent. "Let's go to bed." You nudged your head, pulling him from the sofa as you helped him undress to his underwear, you doing the same before you joined him under the sheets.

Rolling onto you and resting against your chest as he listened to your heartbeat, you smiled. Burying your fingers into his hair and brushing your fingertips against his scalp, Kylo found himself instantly falling asleep against you as the sound of his soft breathing filled your ears, you soon falling asleep after him.

Finding himself standing in a hallway, lights flickering, sparks flying and debris falling, the sound of yelling soon filled his ears. "Kylo! Kylo, please!" Seeing you yell, inside of an escape pod, his heart ached. "Kylo! Kylo, don't do this! Kylo!"

Snapping awake in a sweat, he lifted himself up and looked down at you, fast asleep with steady breaths. Letting out a sign in relief, he pressed a kiss against your cheek before he lied on his side, carefully turning you so your back pressed against his chest.

Leaving a long kiss against the back of your head, he breathed you in before burying his face into your shoulder. "You'll forever be safe with me."


	43. The Match

Waking up to the lack of pressure against your chest, your eyes fluttered open as you let out a small yawn. Kylo was no longer lying against your chest and you were no longer lying on your back—rather, your back was against Kylo's chest.

Seeing his arm wrapped around you as you felt his head pressed against your shoulder, you reached for his hand and brought his knuckles to your lips as you kissed them. Interlocking your fingers with his, you smiled.

Your heart felt so full. To lie so close to Kylo, tightly pressed together as if the bed weren't big enough, your happiness had found a source. And it was sharing moments like these with Kylo. With someone who meant everything to you. The one person you only ever needed. Unlike before when all you had was yourself.

Feeling slight shifting and the gentle touch of Kylo's lips against your bare shoulder, peppering your skin with soft kisses, he slightly sat up and kissed your cheek. Letting go of his hand and turning on your back to look at him, you sweetly smiled before bringing him down into a kiss, Kylo lazily kissing back before he nuzzled his face into your neck.

"Good morning..." He mumbled into your skin as you chuckled.

"Morning, love." Pressing a kiss against the side of his head, your hand ran through his hair, feeling the softness of them run so easily. The smooth texture brushing against your palm as the curled ends flattened for a moment, only to bounce back into its waves.

"Let's stay here for a bit." Kylo said, turning his head enough to speak freely, kissing your neck with his full lips rather than pecking. "I want to enjoy this."

"Okay." You softly answered, smiling.

A faint silence fell in between the two of you as Kylo continued kissing your skin, slowly but longingly. Tired kisses, but they were enough to get your heart going. "Tell me... What did you do with Luke?" He asked, you sucking in a small breath at the thought of Luke.

"Well... What didn't I do? We trained a lot, ate together... We spoke. He taught me many things... He's the reason why I'm here." You breathed. "He's the one who found me and took me under his wing."

"Sometimes I wonder... If he hadn't found me, would Snoke have found me eventually? Would you?" You asked, not expecting an answer. "I'm glad he did, through him I found the lightsaber, and through it I found a balance. Without that balance, I would've fallen long ago. I wouldn't have fought to protect that bit of Ben. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you."

Slowly stopping his kisses, Kylo lifted his head and saw tears in your eyes. You had shut them tightly as a few had slipped, you hadn't really thought about it until then—the many times you tried killing Kylo because you lost control... The fact that you had choked him without realizing it and how you had... actually killed him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart..." He whispered, wiping your tears as you whimpered. Kylo knew exactly why you had been crying. To him, you were now an open book of emotions. "I didn't mean to-"

Shaking your head, eyes still closed, you reached out for him and buried yourself against him as he fell to his side. "I'm sorry for all those times... Those times I tried killing you. I- I never-"

"Shhh, it wasn't you." Holding the back of your head in one hand as he rubbed circles against your back with his other, you trembled against him. "It wasn't you. You weren't in control. You were being manipulated... Used..." He nearly whispered, only to think about himself.

He thought back to those nights as a kid where he woke up in tears, or in a deep sweat, nightmares where he slaughtered his family. Haunting images of him doing things he had no control of. And every time he woke up afraid, terrified out of his young and innocent mind, his mother always came to the rescue. Holding him in her arms. Soothing him. Telling him no one in the world could ever hurt him.

And that made him feel safe. For a time being, until he couldn't fight against it any longer, until he lost all control—like you had.

Thats why he was so quick to protect you, to keep you close. To hold you in his arms and make you feel safe in them. Because he wanted you to be alright, to be out of harm's way.

He just wished he had known sooner that Snoke had been using you for far longer than Kylo had known.

"There was a point when I was a child... I was still in my single digits, and I was haunted by Snoke in my nightmares. I'd wake up... so afraid, fearful that I had lost everything and that no one was there when I found myself in that dark room. My bedroom. But then my mother came in, and that light she brought into that room, and my dark thoughts, always saved me from the fear I felt." Kylo spoke up. "The sight of her; the feeling of her warm embrace. The words she'd whisper to me as she held me in her arms. I felt so safe there, with someone who loved me, with the one person who would do anything to protect me from all that is evil."

"She couldn't protect me forever, not when I was away at the temple, and I knew she regretted sending me away, blaming herself for my turn... But, if it wasn't for her, and her heart... Snoke would've had me long before I was in my twenties." Kylo breathed. "My mother was my anchor... She kept me grounded, she kept that light burning within me. Even after all those years of disappearing and becoming who I was before."

Feeling yourself calm down, listening to his words, you sucked in a breath and slowly opened your eyes, the last few tears slipping. "But now I have you, and you remind me that I have those in my life who care for me. Even if they're just figures I can't truly grasp. I have Luke and my mother... and I have you. The match that made those sparks of light into flames."

"And never forget that." Kissing your temple, Kylo got a hold of your face and kissed you, you kissing back as you placed your hands on his before grabbing on.

"I love you so much..." You mumbled against his lips before he separated, kissing your forehead.

"I love you, sweetheart." Pulling you to his chest as the two of you lied there for a while longer, Kylo eventually took you to a private breakfast for just the two of you, in his quarters as you sat on his lap while he sat on his couch, eating away.

It was a comfortable silence, Kylo had an arm around your waist as you rested against him. On occasion, he'd kiss the top or side of your head as you did the same with his neck and jaw. Sometimes, the two of you shared your food and fed it to the other with small laughs at how childish it seemed. But, neither of you seemed to care. You felt so comfortable.

"I think we should train a little... Without lightsabers, just our bodies. Bare hands. No Force." Kylo suggested as you nodded.

"Okay, yeah." You said, kissing his cheek before you stood up from him. "Let's do it. Let's see who's more skilled." You teased, and—before you knew it—either of you were training in the throne room, the vast stars being your audience.

The two of you were all over the place, grunting and sweating, small laughs leaving here and there with the positions either of you found yourselves in. Kylo had to admit, he was very much impressed with your fighting skills. All that lone traveling paid off when you had to teach your own self, self defense.

It was more enjoyable than anything else, the way Kylo's eyes would widen each time you had a counter attack. Or how he'd groan in defeat whenever you'd slam him against a wall or the ground whenever he thought he had the upper hand.

With the harsh sound of Kylo's back hitting the ground as you fell on top of him, pinning him down with your thighs and bare hands, Kylo sighed as he shut his eyes, you looking down at him. "I think it's fair to say... I won this match. And all the others."

"Yeah, yeah..." Kylo breathed. "You're like a damn monkey-lizard." He shook his head as you grinned. "All over the place... Agile... Small."

Rolling your eyes, you let go of him, kissing his cheek before lying beside him. "My first spar with Luke was fun."

"How so?" Kylo breathed.

"He was a hell of a fight. Especially for an old man." You chuckled. "He fought so well, the way he wielded his lightsaber. How he used the Force. We even fought on levitating rocks!" You grinned, Kylo lifting himself on his elbows and looking over at you.

"Seriously?" He asked as you nodded. "Son of a bitch. That old man _hated_ when I would levitate rocks to fight on. He didn't like the fact that I would have the higher ground." Kylo shook his head with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh, how was Padawan Ben Solo? He must've been a skillful young one, hmm?" You asked with a wiggle of your eyebrows.

"Padawan Ben Solo was very... ruthless. He fought beyond his limitations to the point he hurt himself quite often." Kylo stated as you frowned. "I pushed myself too hard a lot. But, I will admit, when I first started... it was the _world_ to me."

Smiling you rolled to your side as you rested your head in the palm of your hand. "I can imagine..."

Looking over at you, doing the same as you and lying on his side, his hand reached out, pushing some of your lose hair behind your ear. "I can show you."

"Show me? How?" You questioned.

"It's simple." Resting his fingertips against your temple, he shut his eyes as you had done the same, instant images and memories appearing before you. A young Ben Solo finding his crystal, crafting his lightsaber, using it for training. The wide grin on his lips. The excitement all over his face. The way he fought, how he was always so close to his uncle... The visits from his mother.

Dropping his hand, the two of you opened your eyes. "Ben Solo was quite the fireball."

"He was excited to become a Jedi like his uncle." He nodded with a small laugh. "He liked to believe that... If he trained long and hard enough, he'd be able to defeat the voice."

Looking him in the eyes, you reached over and swiped your finger under his chin with a genuine smile. "You did."

Sucking in a breath as he looked down, Kylo nodded. "I did."

Pacing back and forth in a meeting room, fists opening and closing as the heat burned within his face and caused his head to throb, Hux slammed his fists on the table surface. "We need to do something soon before it becomes to late." He spoke over to the small group of officers he had rallied up. "Ren will not get away with this. The Supreme Leader did not die in vain for the First Order to fail miserably and join Forces with the enemy."

"We must kill him." An officer spoke.

"No, he's too powerful and strong. A Force user like him? We don't stand a chance." Another officer spoke.

"You're right." Hux nodded. "That is why we will plot a scheme. We must bring down the First Order. Bring those with us and create our own militia. Take down the Resistance... And rule what is rightfully ours." Hux nodded. "Down with Supreme Leader Ren. If he thinks he can get away with what he has done and what he will soon do, he is mistaken. We will attack him at his weakest point..." Grinning, Hux stood and leaned forward. "And I know exactly what that is."


	44. BB-9E

A few weeks had passed since either of you [you and Kylo] had returned to the Supremacy. Although you tried enjoying the calm before the storm, Kylo had to begin plotting the big transition for the Order.

It was complicated and he had spent hours on end cooped up trying to figure out a well devised plan that'd help make the process become smooth. Although he knew very well it was going to be quite the rocky ride. But, with you by his side and supporting his every step, helping him out and giving him encouragement, he had the extra push he needed.

Giving Kylo some breathing room, knowing very well he was becoming frustrated and too enthralled in his work to even pay you any mind—or pay attention to your well devised suggestions to take a break—you wandered the halls of the Supremacy.

You really didn't have a title, you actually never did, but you were technically the Supreme Leaders "number two." You were always around him, and if you weren't, you were doing something for him. Officers had assumed Kylo had found you and decided to give you the position. As if you were an officer from some other First Order vessel. Which, you were fine with, you blended in and didn't want to gain too much attention.

That is, of course, until somehow word would slip that you were Kylo's lover. But the two of you were very cautious about the fact. That was very personal to either of you.

Aimlessly walking down a hall, unsure as to where it was you were even going, you stopped in your tracks as you saw a black, round droid at the end of the hall going in your direction. Gasping as your eyes widened, you smiled. You had never seen a droid like it, not in the time you've been on the Supremacy. It was the cutest thing over. "Oh, stars! You're so cute!" You exclaimed, looking down at it as it slowed down.

Staring up at you with apprehension, it started beeping like crazy, as if insulted. Claiming it was "not cute" and that it was "nowhere near cute." But, you begged to differ. Even if the droid was a bit on the aggressive side... It still was a sight to see.

"I'm Y/N." You introduced, not going by your First Order name seeing as it was a droid and no one really knew who you were. Plus, who would the droid tell that you were under a false identity? The man with the highest title in the First Order already knew the truth, anyway.

Staring up at you, cautiously and skeptically, the droid hesitated for a moment before beeping in response. To your surprise, after a long pause, it had introduced itself to you. "BB-9E? Hmm... That's a long name. What if I called you Beebee?" Hearing it instantly go off, you laughed. "It's that or baby. You choose." Almost as if it sighed, the droid went with the former.

Smiling as you crouched down before the droid, you couldn't help but think about Kylo. The droid resembled him in many ways and it almost made you laugh. Just as snappy and defensive, just as dark and... just as cute. In different aspects, of course.

To your amazement, after some time, the droid slowly opened up. It had a soft spot for you, you could tell that. The way it chirped and beeped at you in response, happily rather than bitterly like before, you couldn't help but grin the entire time. You were making a friend out of a droid. Something you never thought you'd do.

"Why don't you join me?" You asked as you stood back up but it shook its head, reverting back to its original attitude. "Come on, join me." You nudged your head. "You're a droid, I'm sure you're not all that busy." Hearing it beep defensively, you chuckled. " _Please_?" Lowering it's head in defeat, you smiled. "Thank you."

Leading the way as the droid rolled beside you, although slowly at first, it caught up and took your side. You couldn't help but enjoy the fact that you got a little angry and brooding droid to be nice to you and accompany you. Much like your story with Kylo.

"Kylo!" You exclaimed, seeing the man appear just as you thought of him. Approaching him with a big grin, you presented BB-9E. "Look! I found this cute little guy. BB-9E but I call 'em Beebee."

"Bee... bee?" Kylo questioned as he stood before you, shifting his eyes down to the droid as the droid took a defensive _roll_ over to you, causing Kylo to smirk. "Seems as if the droid is protective."

"Oh, Beebee is just like you!" You chuckled. "Very snappy and hostile, but when you get to them, you see their soft side and that they're actually sweet." Smiling with a nod, Kylo glared at the droid.

"You are comparing me... to a droid?" Kylo asked, almost as if he were offended.

Hearing the droid go off, you bit your tongue, trying not to laugh. "See, just as snappy. Beebee is so much like you!"

"It's not!" Kylo exclaimed, snapping his head over to look at you as you smirked.

"It is." You winked. "You two would get along so well, maybe Beebee could be your personal droid?"

Instantly rolling back and shaking its head, beeping away, you sighed. "Oh, come on, as much as I'd love for you to be my personal droid, I don't really need one." Hearing it instantly beep back, begging, you laughed as Kylo snarled.

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Kylo sighed. "I would like for us to talk in private. That's the reason why I was out here. Looking for you." Kylo said over to you as you then turned your attention from the round droid, up to your boyfriend.

"Okay." You nodded, Kylo turning and walking off as you nudged your head for the droid to follow.

Realizing you were going back to his chambers, Kylo went over to the small bookshelf as you sat on the couch, BB-9E sitting just beside your legs, eyeing the room. "I know you've seen this... but I never really explained it to you." Kylo said under his breath, taking a seat beside you and opening the familiar book on either yours and his lap.

"The letters..." You breathed, eyeing them as Kylo swallowed.

"I'm sure you've realized they were for my mother." He said. "I never had the... courage to send them. I don't know why, I was just so apprehensive. I wanted to, to communicate with her, to let her know I was okay and that I was doing well. But it just became so hard for me to send... And I regretted it." Kylo confessed, eyeing the letters as you moved your hand onto his back and rubbed it.

"It's okay... What matters know is that you've reconnected with her. And she knows that you still hold her close." You said, kissing his shoulder.

Nodding his head, he eyed the letters with a small smile. "You may not know this... but, Ben Solo was very much into calligraphy."

Lifting your eyebrows, you laughed. "Oh, really?"

"Mhm... He enjoyed it. Kept him calm." Kylo admitted as you smiled, resting your chin on his shoulder, eyeing the letters.

"That's good." You nodded. "I made dolls for orphaned kids." You said, thinking back to your times while you were on your own. "It was a little hobby of mine, making them out of any material I could find. Wire, metal, yarn... Anything. And they always loved them."

Looking over at you, Kylo wore a small smile. "It kept me relaxed. It was fun and soothing. It also made me happy knowing I was bringing forth happiness from those children."

Wrapping his arm around your waist after shutting the book and placing it to a side, Kylo brought you on to his lap and kissed your temple. "You have a big heart on you." He said, moving his free hand to get a hold of your chin, looking you in the eyes. "One I'll forever protect."


	45. TIE Silencer

More days had passed you by, and the more days that had passed, the more stressed Kylo had become. His aggravation and hardheaded-self made him work up until the early hours of the morning. Sometimes, you'd wake up to him at his small desk or you'd even wake up him missing from the bed after going to sleep with you.

He was impatient at getting things done, he wanted the turn to happen, to already have the First Order and Resistance merge. To end the war. To be at ease for once... Or, at least try to be.

But, he couldn't. It was far more difficult than he thought it'd be. Especially with officers like Hux who were fully devoted to the dark side.

Now that you were a sort of aide to Kylo, he kept you busy with small tasks around the Supremacy so you wouldn't bore yourself; and—to your luck—BB-9E became your companion. The droid nearly followed you everywhere and was constantly by your side.

"How is it that you've gotten that droid to be kind to you?" One of the curious officers had asked you, a few stormtroopers standing by, waiting for a response.

"It's just luck." With a shrug and a small smile, you left the small group wondering. That droid was one of the toughest and stingy ones and hardly anyone ever got it to be the least bit of kind. But you did... Somehow.

And you couldn't help but think about Kylo. How you were one of the very few to get on his good side. To get such a coarse man to be so gentle and sweet to you.

After a long and productive day, you returned back to your shared quarters with a sigh, more than happy to be back. But then you saw Kylo, hunched in his seat, tugging at his hair. Looking over at BB-9E as it looked back up at you, you then walked over to Kylo and gently removed his hands from his hair as you hugged him from the side. Leaving soft kisses on his temple, cheek, and neck, you held him close.

"Why don't we take a break, okay?" You lowly spoke as he slowly moved his arms around your waist, turning in his spot and sitting you on him.

"I need to get this done..." He mumbled into your chest as he buried his face into it.

"I know, my stars, but you're going to fry your brain. You need a breather." Brushing your fingers through his hair, you leaned back and held his chin so he could look at you. "I've got an idea."

Seeing that mischievous grin on your lips, Kylo's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"Would you like to go on a joy ride?" You asked as Kylo stared at you, only to shake his head, lowering his eyes.

"If I stop now, then I'll never finish-"

"You did want me to fly your TIE Silencer." You arched an eyebrow as Kylo lifted his gaze. "It'll be fun." You smiled, Kylo sighing and slowly nodding.

Kissing his nose, you then stood up and grabbed Kylo's hand, pulling him with you. "Come on, Beebee." You nudged your head but Kylo pulled you back.

"We are not taking the droid with us. There is-"

"Too late!" Exiting the room as BB-9E followed, you let go of Kylo's hand and eagerly walked over to the hangar, excited. In all honesty, you really enjoyed piloting, especially ever since a run in you had a while back that helped you get your prized vessel—Astrobleme.

Seeing the starfighter come into view as the three of you boarded, you sat on top of Kylo as BB-9E was to a side. After buckling the two of you in, Kylo showed you the basics before you flew out of the hangar.

At first, you were steadily flying in the open space, casually moving around so you weren't in a straight line. But then an idea come to mind and you couldn't help but smirk. Pushing the toggles forward and then turning them, the starfighter flipped. "Y/N!" Kylo shouted as BB-9E instantly beeped frantically, but ignoring their calls, you continued flipping and spinning the TIE Silencer while laughing.

Kylo's heart was racing faster than ever and the droid was holding onto anything so it wouldn't fly around. "AHAHA!" You laughed, truly enjoying the experience while your passengers were dying.

Doing tricks galore, you finally brought the ship back to the hangar. A disheveled BB-9E nearly crashed into anything and everything around it as the droid got out of the TIE. Then, after removing yourself from Kylo, you walked out perfectly fine with a wide grin on your lips.

Crouching and checking on the droid and seeing it was okay, just dizzy, you patted its head before standing back up. Looking over and seeing Kylo glued to his seat, you rolled your eyes and reached for his hands. "Come on, big guy, don't be so dramatic. I'm sure you do tricks, too."

"Y- Yes... But not like that." He stuttered, eyes wide as he nearly stumbled out.

"Oh, relax. You're fine." Patting his back and helping him keep his balance, the two of you walked out of the hangar.

Bringing Kylo back to his quarters, as BB-9E followed, the droids attention got caught. It felt a presence nearby watching, an unfamiliar one. Scanning the area and catching glimpse of something, it rolled away, neither you nor Kylo realized this.


	46. The Greatest Feeling

Quietly entering the room with wide eyes, fingers still shaking, Kylo took in a deep breath. He should've expected that from you. For you to pull something like that where you'd take advantage. Although he was still stunned by the fact, at least you had... fun.

Entering his chambers, slowly behind him, you looked around your feet and realized BB-9E was nowhere in sight. Usually, the droid stayed with the two of you and powered down every night.

Shrugging it off, you looked over at Kylo to see him taking a seat on the couch, eyes locked on to the ground. Sighing, you walked over. "Kylo..."

"Hmm..."

"Stop being so dramatic." You chuckled. "You wanted me to pilot it!"

Rubbing his face, he looked up at you. "I did not expect... any of that."

Letting out a small laugh, you leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Would you like to share a bath to calm your nerves?" You offered, winking at him as he let out a small breath and nodded. "Okay I'll go set it up." Ruffling his hair, you walked away as he leaned back in his seat, staring up at the ceiling.

"I actually want to do that again..." He muttered to himself before shutting his eyes, shaking his head.  Although it was terrifying, he had to admit... it was fun and he did enjoy seeing you laugh and have a good time. Even if he felt as if he were about have a heart attack.

Hearing the light footsteps, Kylo lifted his head and saw you, wrapped in just your towel, reaching for him. "Come on, nervous wreck." You teased as he extended out his arm for you to grab his hand. Pulling him up to his feet, you tugged him with you to the bathroom.

Shoving off the cape and tugging off his gloves as he stood there, you removed his belt and left his side to place it down on his desk before coming back to see him taking off his top, then boots. Going for his pants and taking them off, he stripped down until he was bare, you grabbing his hand and pulling him to the tub as he reached for you.

Wrapping his fingers around the towel that covered you, he pulled it off and dropped it before the two of entered the tub. Sitting down and sinking into the water as much as he could, you sat in between his legs and faced him.

"See... this is nice." You said with a soft smile, messing with the suds and bubbles in the water as Kylo watched you.

"Mhm." He nodded, reaching for your hands and pulling you to him. Puckering his lips as you chuckled, you leaned in and kissed him. Kylo kept you there as his hands moved to your face, lips gently moving against yours as your heart fluttered. Pressing your hands against his chest, Kylo moved his lips to your cheek and neck as your eyes stayed closed, a smile on your lips.

"Mmm... You're supposed to be the one relaxing..." You breathed, but Kylo shook his head.

"This relaxes me." He admitted, grabbing your hands and kissing your knuckles. "Very much."

"Let me wash your hair." You said, slipping your hands from his as he nodded, sinking deeper into the water to wet his hair before emerging once again, you grabbing the shampoo and conditioner.

Spreading it onto your palms and massaging it into his scalp and hair, Kylo felt himself drifting in and out of sleep. Feeling his head wobble, you laughed. "Hey, I need you to stay awake." Opening his eyes, he gazed at you. Turning on the faucet and rinsing out the shampoo, you then worked the conditioner into his hair.

"Make sure to put a lot." He said as you sniggered, doing so, knowing Kylo's hair was soft for a reason.

Watching you as you kept your focus on his hair, fingers running through it, tips massaging his scalp as a faint smile grew on his lips, Kylo took in a breath. It was quiet, the only sounds were the slight shifting of the water, and his own breathing. He couldn't help but keep his eyes on you, the way your complexion was soft, how you'd bite your bottom lip. You looked precious. And his heart had never felt this full before.

It was still new to him, although it wasn't entirely new his relationship with you, he still was foreign to all the feelings. How his heart would race when he'd look you in the eyes. How his breath would get caught when either of you kissed. How his whole being just felt so warm simply being around you.

You, the once unknown officer who randomly appeared before him through the Force.

The woman who was meant to assassinate him but truly was there to bring back Ben Solo.

The one person who risked it all, the light within them, the balance that kept them sane... all to save him.

When, in the end, you weren't just saving him. He was saving you.

"What?" You broke the silence, eyes shifting between Kylo's own and his hair. "What?" You asked again with a small laugh, seeing how he was gazing at you, as if he were holding back. Almost like on the Falcon. "Kylo?" Your voice softened, lowering your hands into the water as you eyed him. "What is it?"

"Nothing..." He softly spoke, leaning forward and holding you into a tight embrace. "I'm just... I'm happy." He admitted as you smiled. "To be here... with you." Kylo breathed, kissing your shoulder before leaning back and kissing you.

Kissing back, you nuzzled your nose against his cheek before the scent of his minty hair caught your attention. "We should wash the conditioner off..."

Opening his eyes, Kylo sighed. "Yeah."

After rinsing out his hair and after the two of you got carried away with smearing the suds against each other, Kylo getting it on your face as you dunked his head in the water, you now sat with your legs on either side of his waist, over his thighs. "So, how was it having sex in your fathers vessel for the first time?" You teased, twirling some of his hair around your finger as he groaned.

"Ugh... I had hoped you had forgotten..." Kylo sighed but you shook your head. "I enjoyed it, solely because it felt good... But then I realized it wasn't all that great." He confessed. "It was my first time and all, but it wasn't the greatest. I've done it a number of times after... And they were better but..." Simply shrugging, he trailed his finger down your spine.

"But?" You questioned.

"But, I enjoyed it the most with you." Kylo admitted as you blushed.

"I bet it's because we're both Force users and are connected." You teased, leaning forward and leaving a few kisses against his cheeks and chin as he rolled his eyes.

"How did you feel? Since it was your first time." Kylo asked, looking you in the eyes as you smiled, cheeks reddened from being flustered.

"It was one of the best feelings ever..." You breathed. "Well, aside from running away from 'home' and getting Astrobleme." You chuckled, looking down. "But, it wasn't _the_ greatest feeling." Instantly frowning, Kylo's shoulders slumped. He wasn't that bad, was he? "Being with you is."

Feeling the heat move up to his cheeks, Kylo got a hold of the back of your neck and pulled you into a strong kiss, causing you to laugh into it. Wrapping your arms over his shoulders as he pulled you as close as he could, gliding his tongue against your bottom lip before parting them. Moving his tongue against yours as an involuntarily moan left you, Kylo's hands moved to your hips and leaned into you, chest against chest. Moving your hands into his hair and tugging, hearing Kylo groan, he sucked on your bottom lip before leaving one last kiss.

"We should go- We should go to bed." You spoke, breathlessly as you leaned away from him, Kylo nodding, watching you stand up and get out of the tub before drying.

Wrapping yourself with your towel, handing Kylo his as you opened the drain for the tub, you turned and saw Kylo wrap the towel around his waist. Walking up to him, you left a kiss against his back as you grabbed his left hand with your left one, wrapping your other arm around his waist. "We should go to bed." Kylo mocked you as you rolled your eyes, moving to be wrapped under his left arm as the two of you walked out of the washroom.

"We should change." You said, kissing his hand before letting go of him, but, Kylo thought otherwise and pulled you to him. "Unless... you want to sleep in towels?" Your eyebrows narrowed but he brought you into a deep kiss. And you didn't think twice about kissing him back.

Holding the back of your head with one hand, and a fistful of your towel with the other, you got a hold of his towel and pulled him over to the bed. Sitting up and pulling off his towel, tossing it to a side, he sat you on top of him as your heart fluttered within your chest.

Running your fingers through his hair as you breathlessly kissed one another, Kylo's hands trailed up your thighs, pushing up the towel as his hands held your hips. Grabbing the towel and ripping it off of you, throwing it over the bed, your breathing quickened.

Leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and onto your chest, your eyes fluttered closed as his fingers dug into your skin. "Ky-Kylo..." You panted, Kylo leaning back to look at you as you looked him in the eyes. Then, in a matter of moments, your excitement got the best of you and Kylo noticed this with the way your hands wandered his body.

Moving his hands to your hips, lifting and slowly lowering you onto him, your heartbeat increasing at the stretch. Biting your bottom lip as your hands clutched his shoulders, head lowering as your lips parted. Feeling your chest heave as Kylo's had done the same, you gulped before moving your hips slowly, Kylo groaning as his hands tightened at your hips.

Kissing his neck and jawline, you breathed against his cheek as your lips were pressed against the edge of his own, parted as your breathing quickened.

Biting down, Kylo got a hold of your face and pulled you into a rough kiss as your pace quickened, hips circling as his lips moved sloppily against yours.

"Y/N..." Kylo breathed, wet kisses being shared as he moaned against you.

"Mmm..." You hummed into the kiss, hands gliding against his arms and feelings the hard muscles, moaning at the feeling.

Moving and lifting his hips to meet your own, kissing the edge of your lips as he tried catching his breath, your hands fell to his torso, feeling his chest and abs. "Stars..." Kylo grumbled, the feeling of your hands and hips, and the feel of it all, made his breathing grow faster and faster.

Picking up your pace as you felt your insides twist and burn, Kylo couldn't stop lifting his hips against yours as his head fell back. Kissing down his neck, your fingers went into his hair and lifted his head, foreheads meeting.

Breathing against one another, panting and squeezing your eyes shut as you bit your bottom lip, Kylo's hands held your jaw as his fingers curled onto the back of your neck. Tugging his hair, you came. Kylo followed shortly after, leaning in and kissing you before you lifted yourself from him and pushed him down with you.

Slipping away from the kiss and rolling onto your back, either of you lied there, trying to catch your breaths. Wearing a goofy grin as your face was flushed with heat, you turned to lie partially on Kylo as he wrapped his arm around you, you teasing "I definitely love you."


	47. Captive

"Kylo! Kylo, don't this! _Kylo_!" Forcing himself awake, sucking in a deep breath, Kylo looked over his shoulder to see you had been holding him from behind, face nearly buried into his hair.

Carefully removing your arms from him as he turned to face you, his fingers gently moved down your cheek before holding your chin. Eyeing you and swallowing he thought about his dream. He had hoped it wasn't a Force vision. That it was nothing but a nightmare that taunted him.

Leaning forward and kissing your forehead as you lied there, fast asleep, a loud beeping noise came from outside the door of his quarters. Then, he heard a bang. Narrowing his eyebrows and standing up, pulling on pants, Kylo waved his hand and opened the door to see BB-9E instantly roll in. "Want to be a bit more quiet, Y/N is asleep." Kylo glared, but the droid didn't care, it instantly went off. "What?!" Kylo nearly shouted, only to look over at you and see you shift.

Gesturing for the droid to follow him outside, it did so. "You captured a spy?" Hearing beeping, Kylo's jaw tightened. "Take me to them."

Rolling off as Kylo followed, the droid lead him to a supply closet, one that he could hear mumbling and grunting coming from the other side of the door. Opening, the droid walked in and hissed at the captive, Kylo following and seeing a man all tied up in wires.

Narrowing his eyes as he studied the man, someone who wasn't too old but he could see the aging on their face. Their eyebrows were scrunched up and they were struggling to free themselves. And it was clear there was some sort of hate coming from their end.

Not recognizing who they were, but sensing ill intensions, Kylo reached his hand out as his finger tips hovered over their forehead. Hearing groaning and muffled screaming coming from the man before him, Kylo searched through their mind.

Then, you appeared. You walking down the halls, doing minor assignments, wandering about. Even going to the throne. Then, one second to the next, he saw you standing before the black droid, for the first time.

" _I'm Y/N_."

" _BB-9E? Hmm... That's a long name. What if I called you Beebee?_ "

" _It's that or baby. You choose_."

A flurry of images followed after, the man watching you eat, work, even speak to Kylo. Others had you entering Kylo's quarters alone or with Kylo. Then, there was the two of you holding hands, and then when you were at the hangar, returning from the joy ride.

" _Come on, big guy, don't be so dramatic. I'm sure you do tricks, too_."

" _Y- Yes... But not like that_."

" _Oh, relax. You're fine_."

Seeing the memory fade into another, as the man was standing behind the door and listening in on the two of you, right before BB-9E had captured him, Kylo pulled back in disgust.

"You've been spying on her?!" Kylo snarled, not realizing till then that the man was wearing a First Order uniform. Grabbing a fistful and bringing him to his feet, pulling the wire from his mouth. "Why?! Who sent you?!" Kylo shouted in his face, fury in his eyes. The anger and disgust coursed through his veins, making him uncomfortable in his own skin.

Closing his free hand as his fist clenched, the man choked on his words. "G- General Hux... General Hux sent me!" The man coughed out as Kylo's nostrils flared.

"Why?!" Kylo growled.

Coughing and trying to catch his breath, the man stuttered "O- Out of pure j- jealousy and hate! Envy! He- He wants to be the Supreme Leader! Not y- you! And he is f- fascinated in the woman!"

Tossing the man back and reaching his hand out, Kylo searched through his mind again, skin burning as his face felt as if it were about to explode with the pure rage flowing through him.

"Thank you for meeting with me today." Hux bowed. "I have a task for you that I think you could so easily handle."

"What is it, General?"

"The Supreme Leader has this... girl who is constantly around him, a supposed assistant. I need you to spy on her every move. See what she is really up to. And then, come back to me."

"Of course, sir."

"Good." Hux smirked. "Do not get caught. It's best you keep a close eye but be careful. They both are Force users."

"Yes, sir."

Panting in his spot as Kylo pushed himself out, he clenched and unclenched his fists, eyes locked on to the man. He wanted nothing more than to tear his head off and find Hux to do the same, to rid the two of them. But, he knew he couldn't, he knew he had to be better than that.

Instead, he Forced the man up to his feet and tugged him outside, finding a pair of stormtroopers—who exchanged odd glances at the sight of a shirtless and barefoot Supreme Leader—before walking over. "This man is a spy and needs to be kept locked up. See to it that he doesn't escape." Kylo demanded as the troopers nodded, reaching for the tied up man and pulling him away.

"You will not get away with this!" The man shouted. "Hux will prevail and you will fall! Like she will!"

Tightening his jaw and fighting the urge to snap his neck through the Force, Kylo looked away as the three turned a corner. Seeing BB-9E roll up to him, Kylo took in a deep breath. "Thank you..." Hearing a beep in response, Kylo slowly nodded. "Yes... Anything for Y/N."

Turning and aiming for his quarters as the droid followed, Kylo pushed his fingers through his hair as he took in a shaky breath. The last thing he needed at the moment was his own General turning against him. But, he couldn't say he didn't see this coming. It was bound to happen.

Returning to his chambers and seeing you lying there, cuddling his pillow, Kylo let out a sigh in relief before turning to BB-9E. "You can power off in here." He said to the droid before shutting the door behind him, then, walking over to your side of the bed and kissing your temple, leaving a long one.

Rounding the bed and aiming for his side, dropping his pants and getting under the sheets, he carefully removed the pillow from your hold and brought you to his chest. His heart was racing and his eyes were burning with the fear of what was to come and the worry of your well being.

But, for now, he held you close and safe in his arms. You were far more important than anything or anyone else.


	48. Cleansing

Feeling the warmth that radiated onto your body no longer there, you extended your arm out and felt nothing, closed eyes only opening as you instantly frowned. Kylo wasn't in bed and nowhere in sight as you turned onto your back and eyed your surroundings. Letting out a small groan, you turned onto your stomach and buried your face into Kylo's pillow, taking in his scent. Usually, he was there when you'd wake up... He probably was going straight into his never ending planning.

Standing at the command center, seeing the Finalizer was off track and wasn't in its position on the radar, Kylo's jaw tightened. He knew Hux was plotting something and he knew it was nowhere near good. Turning away with a huff, Kylo returned back to his quarters, seeing you in the midst of your morning routine.

Letting out a small breath, he walked over to you as he got a hold of your upper arms. "Good morning." You said to him, looking through the mirror, Kylo resting his forehead on your shoulder after kissing your cheek. "You already stressed?" You asked, turning to face him as you held his face.

"No... Sort of. I have to go to the Finalizer and check on a few things." Kylo said as you nodded. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay." You smiled. "I'll keep an eye out on things, BB-9E will help." You winked at Kylo as you pointed over to the droid.

"Thank you." Kylo nodded, kissing your cheek again before walking away, you catching his wrist and tugged him back. Looking down at you, trying not to make it obvious that he was anxious, you pulled him down, into a gentle kiss before letting him go.

Giving him a small smile, he took in a small breath before leaving your sight, you sighing and feeling a weight on your chest. Something was up and Kylo wasn't telling you...

"Things are going according to plan." Hux said as he stood on the bridge of the Finalizer, alongside a pair of officers. "Kylo fell right into my trap... And now, he will die with the Finalizer and the Order." Hux grinned, standing with a straight back, proud of himself.

Rushing onto the bridge, an officer sucked in their breath as they approached Hux. "Excuse me, General. The Supreme Leader... He is headed for the Finalizer." They informed as Hux gave a single nod.

"Perfect, everything is going as planned." Turning on his heel before leaving the bridge, he spoke over his shoulder. "Prepare the ship, when I give the green light, you know what to do."

"But, sir, that will-"

"I know what I am saying." Hux snapped before walking off, leaving the three officers standing there, exchanging looks.

Approaching the Finalizer and landing his TIE Silencer in the hangar, Kylo was quick to get off and rush into the halls. Frantically searching as officers watched him storm by.

"The Supreme Leader is here." Another officer approached the three on the bridge.

"Let the General know." One of the previous officers spoke. "Reach out to his coms."

"Yes, sir." With a bow, the officer rushed off.

Aiming for the command center of the Finalizer, Kylo stopped within his tracks as an officer frantically rushed out. keeping his eyes on them and sensing his distress, he followed after, quietly. "General Hux, the Supreme Leader has arrived on the Finalizer." The officer spoke as Kylo listened in from afar.

"Perfect. Make sure he does not leave. He will die on that ship, just like the rest of them. Prepare for light-speed." Hux ordered as the officer lowered the com link with a shaky breath, Kylo's eyes widening.

Letting out a sigh as you walked into the throne room, eyeing it, seeing the changes it had taken since Kylo took the title of Supreme Leader, you walked over to the throne and brushed your fingertips along the armrest. "To run an entire organization... I could never." You chuckled as BB-9E beeped in response. "You? Help me run it? Yeah right, I rather be a no one than a Supreme Leader." You shook your head as the droid tilted its head. "Don't give me that look! I mean, it's nice being the Supreme Leader's girlfriend and all... But, I rather just have a simple life." You shrugged. "Something I've never had... Away from it all."

Walking away from the throne and over to the windows that presented the vastness of open space, the stars shinning brightly before you as you sucked in a breath, you thought about Kylo. How far he had come. All those sleepless nights he had stressing over the change. Spending hours trying to come up with a plan to bring balance and to end the war.

You were proud of him, for all that he was doing and not giving up.

Rolling up to you, BB-9E followed where your eyes were looking. "Kylo will get through this... I know he will. He will do what's right for the galaxy... and for himself." You nodded. "He'll bring peace, once and for all." You softly smiled.

Hearing a scoff from behind you, you turned, seeing Hux standing there, grip tight on his blaster. "You are so foolish. All of the decisions you have made. Turning against the Supreme Leader, killing him. Siding with Ren. Falling for him. Letting your foolish and false love blind you." Hux seethed as your jaw tightened. "I wasn't dumb. You think I'd fall for such a false story? You and Ren trying to seem like some sort of heroes? Protecting the Supreme Leader's name? I am no fool, Y/N." Hux snarled, using your real name as your heart skipped a beat.

You knew what he was doing. He was trying anything to upset you, to get the ugly out of you. "You are just as weak as Ren. You let false hope blind you to turn. You allowed such a stupid relationship that'll never last get in your way, you whore!" He shouted as BB-9E rolled in aggravation in it's spot, wanting to zap Hux but you took a small step in front of it.

"You're just being bitter." You calmly spoke.

"Bitter?" Hux snickered. "That's not even half of what I am." He said. "The galaxy needs a cleansing. It needs to be reborn. I will bring forth balance. The _right_ balance." Hux grinned. "And you will either join me, or you will die."

"I will never join a snake like you." You glared. "You conniving, evil, little man."

"Then I guess I shall begin the purge." Hux said as your eyebrows narrowed, lifting his free hand and speaking into a comlink. "Execute."

Gasping at his words, Hux pulled the trigger of his blaster but you were quick to freeze the shot in the air, gritting your teeth as you ran right for him, only to feel the ship violently tremble. "What have you done?!" You shouted, hearing the alarms go off.

Quickly rushing to the hangar just before the ship had made its jump to light-speed, Kylo couldn't see his TIE Silencer anywhere in sight. Gritting his teeth and boarding a random TIE Fighter, throwing the person who had been inside, right out, Kylo was quick to leave the Finalizer and get far away from at as possible.

Eyeing the direction the ship was pointed in, seeing it was aimed right for the Supremacy, Kylo's heart stopped in his chest as he thought of you.

Then, in a matter of seconds, the vessel made its jump and tore right into the Supremacy. "NO!"


	49. Escape Pod

Seeing Hux about to pull the trigger once again, you smacked the blaster right out of his hand before throwing your fist.

Feeling the contact against his nose, he stumbled back before standing straight and charging for you.

The ceiling was falling apart and the ship continued to shake violently. The ground beneath you vibrating as the sirens rang in your ears. Hux threw punches your way as you ducked, swiping your leg and tackling him. Slamming your fist against his face and seeing the blood surface from his broken nose and busted lip, your eyes burning. "You- You asshole!" You shouted as Hux grinned, your heart racing. You knew you shouldn't have acted on your anger but you couldn't let him kill you.

Catching your fist and flipping you over, Hux's hands latched onto your neck and tightened his grip. "None of this would've happened if you had chosen me over him." He gritted his teeth as you gasped for air, tears slipping as you clawed at his hands.

"You're... a psycho!" You cried out, pieces of debris falling as fires erupted. "I would've... never chosen you!" Lifting your knee as you slammed your forearm against his inner elbow, you threw your fist against his cheek and sent him back as you forced yourself up.

Landing the starfighter in the hangar of the Supremacy, after moments before watching the Finalizer slice right through all the First Order vessels, Kylo frantically rushed out of the TIE, seeing the chaos around him. The disaster, all the panicking officers and rushing stormtroopers.

Trying to catch your breath as Hux aimed right for you, catching you off guard as you grunted, his fist broke the skin of your cheek. You were trying so hard not to rely on the Force, afraid you'd lose any control and that you'd do something far more drastic than you had to.

Stumbling around, sending kicks and blocking his punches, either of you were panting and bleeding; you hunched forward as you wheezed, Hux knocking the wind right out of you.

Reaching for his blaster, Hux instantly shot at you, you not moving in time and feeling the burning sensation in your thigh. "AGH!" You hissed, forcing yourself up and swatting your hand as the blaster flew out of his grip.

"You can't kill me. You are trying so hard... not to use the Force. Trying so hard not to use the ways of the dark side." Hux grinned, blood covering his teeth as chills ran down your spine.

Forcing yourself to walk, you pulled him towards you through the force and punched him, causing him to stumble back as he laughed. "You maniac..." You breathed.

"You are trying so hard not to kill me... So very hard." Wiping the blood from his lip, hunched over as a few strands of his hair fell over his forehead, you clutched your leg, panting.

Trying to keep yourself up, you only fell to your knees. "I will kill you! And I will kill him! And then I will kill the remaining of the Resistance and your little hope will be nonexistent!" Hux spat, walking over to a pile of debris, ripping a piece right off as it pierced through his glove and skin, causing blood to trickle.

Trying to force yourself up, you gritted your teeth. Both you and Hux were a bloody mess, the world around you falling apart as you heard BB-9E frantically beeping from afar.

Lifting your head, a harsh yell instantly left your lips as your eyes had shut, a piece of metal being stabbed into your shoulder.

Seeing Hux stumble back with a wicked grin, you ripped the metal right out and forced yourself to your feet, hitting it across his head as it instantly slipped from your grip, you falling back as Hux had from the sudden impact.

Feeling his heart race within his chest, the loud ring of the alarms echoing within his head, Kylo felt your distress. Your agony being felt through the Force as he quickened his pace, shoving past those running in the opposite direction of him as he panicked. "Y/N!" He shouted. "Y/N?!"

Lying on the ground, trying to catch your breath as hot tears spilled down your cheek, thigh and shoulder burning with pain, you rolled onto your side. You couldn't die there, not on the ship, and definitely not when you didn't know if Kylo was okay.

Rolling onto his stomach and pressing his palms against the vibrating ground, Hux pushed himself up onto his knees, crawling over to where his blaster had landed.

Grunting as you lifted yourself on to your elbow, sitting up and clutching your shoulder, your breathing grew heavier. Getting onto your knees, hissing at the pain, you looked over to see Hux grabbing his blaster once again. Frantically searching your waist for your lightsaber, you were just about to reach for it, only to see something in your peripheral view.

Turning your head, your breath hitched, Hux's blaster being swung back before it smacked against your cheek as you winced, clutching your face and looking up to see he was aiming the blaster in between your eyes. "I will not die like the rest of them." He said, blood smeared against his face and neck, your jaw clenching as your eyebrows furrowed.

Looking him in the eyes, breathing heavily through your nose, you spoke, "The light may be flickering, but it will never die. And neither will I." Seeing his hand vibrate as it involuntarily turned, the blaster aiming right for his stomach, your eyes flinched as the blaster fired, the man falling back.

Hearing the sound of something breaking through the fallen debris, you looked over to see the incisions of a lightsaber burn through the material. "Kylo..." You breathed, seeing him emerge and instantly rush up to you, he fell to his knees, eyeing the wounds, the blood trickling down your face and shoulder, the bruises, the blaster shot on your thigh.

"I'm getting you out of here." Kylo nodded, only to hear grunting, looking to the right of him and seeing Hux. Just about to stand up and ignite his lightsaber to decapitate the man, you shook your head and kept him with you.

Looking back over at you, Kylo's jaw tightened. "He will die slowly... and with the ship..." You breathed, Kylo nodding, clipping his lightsaber to his belt before picking you up in his arms. Grunting, your eyes squeezed shut as your chest heaved. "Where- Where is Beebee?"

Looking around the area, Kylo then spotted the droid free itself from fallen debris before rushing over to the two of you. "The droid is right behind me." He said.

"You will not get away with this! The Supreme Leader will not die in vain!" Looking over and seeing Hux holding himself up with his arms, he snarled. "You two will-" Hearing the creaking of the metal above, it instantly came crashing down and slammed against him.

Looking away, Kylo rushed out. He was on a thin line, he had to get you somewhere safe, away from the ship before it all caved in. BB-9E quickly followed as Kylo tried avoiding fires and falling metal, holding you close to him. "You'll get out of here. I promise." He breathed.

" _We_ will." You corrected, feeling the sweat trickle down your forehead as you looked up at him.

Looking down at you as he swallowed, Kylo quickened his pace, finding a nearby escape pod, the only remaining one. Settling you down, he opened it up before grabbing you, putting you. "Kylo... Kylo, come on..."

"I can't. I won't fit." He shook his head, your heart skipping a beat as you shook your head.

"N- No! There's... There's room, please!" You begged, the tears stinging your eyes. "Please, Kylo."

"It's okay, it's okay." He nodded, caressing your face. "You'll be safe. I promised you that and I am keeping my promise."

"Kylo, please!" You cried out, reaching for him but he pushed your hands down.

Leaning over and kissing you, he tasted your tears within the kiss as he then spoke. "I love you with all of the stars in the universe, Y/N. And I will do anything to keep you alive and safe." Leaving one last kiss, letting go of your hands before he shut the door, you shook your head.

Seeing the sparks of fire fly and hearing the ship rumble, feeling it underneath his feet, his heart raced. "You won't die again. I won't let it happen."

"Kylo! Kylo, please!" Seeing you yell, inside of the escape pod, his heart ached. "Kylo! Kylo, don't do this! Kylo!" You cried out, only to see tears slip from his eyes as he balled his fist, hitting the eject button. "NO!" Seeing the ship grow smaller and smaller within the distance, your heart snapped as your tears fell freely, fists banging against the window. "KYLO!"


	50. His Legacy

"KYLO!" You shouted as you forced yourself awake, confusion taking over you as bright lights blinded you. Lifting your hand and blocking the light, you sat up, only to feel dizzy.

Shutting your eyes and rubbing them, your heart thudded against your chest. Reopening your eyes and searching the room, your eyebrows knitted. It clearly wasn't the escape pod... and you clearly were no longer on the Supremacy.

Seeing the monitors surrounding you, you haphazardly removed anything and everything that was attached to you before you sat on the corner of the bed, trying to stand up, only to feel your legs wobble.

Grunting, you held onto the bed and felt your legs tingle. Looking over to the large, open window before you, you carefully walked over. Step by step, you leaned your palms against the opening and looked out. The bright sun beaming down and the gentle breeze patting against your skin. The sight before you was beautiful. A vast lake and all the greenery. You couldn't help but wonder if you had died—and this time, not had been revived.

Then, it hit you. The escape pod, your last sight being of Kylo and BB-9E. Feeling your heart snap, shattering into pieces, you shook your head. "Kylo? Kylo?!" You called out, but there was no response. "KYLO!" You shouted, eyes brimming with tears, only to see the door open. "K-"

"Y/N..." Seeing the older woman stand at the door way, you shook your head.

"Where's Kylo?" Your voice nearly cracked as Leia walked over to you, gently placing a hand on your arm. "Where is he?" Staring at her as the silence was eating you alive, she looked down.

"I don't know..." She admitted. "Y/N... you were in an escape pod and you crashed-"

"Where am I?" You nearly panicked.

"Naboo..." Leia answered as your shoulders dropped. "You were in a coma..."

Looking at her with watery eyes, you gulped. "For how... long?"

"A little over two weeks-"

"T- Two weeks?! But-"

"Y/N, please..." Leia breathed. "I was informed on what happened... Naboo isn't far off from Crait and D'Qar... As well as where the First Order ships were positioned. You were lucky enough to have been taken in by Naboo's gravitational pull." Leia said. "You were found and, by sheer coincidence, not that far off from Theed."

Eyeing her as a few tears slipped, you bit down. "Why are you here?"

"I live here now." She confessed. "From time to time I do visit the new Resistance base... but, I'm no longer a General and I've been doing it for so long... it was time I hand it over. Plus... I don't think I've ever taken a break in my life. It's hard to when I care so much for this galaxy." Leia said. "But, Poe insisted... and, I knew I had to. Plus, this is my mother's home world and many of the people know who I am. They welcomed me with open arms... It was time I moved on."

Slowly nodding your head, you turned and looked back out at the windows. You were on Naboo. The planet you grew to love. The planet you started your relationship with Kylo... The planet you imagined living on with him, within your fantasies and never telling him. Because it was just that, a fantasy.

Then, your mind settled on Kylo. And you could only think about was Kylo. All that he had sacrificed for you. All that he had gone through in his life. He didn't deserve to go, not now, and definitely not ever. Not with the ship and not with the First Order.

"Kylo..." Your voice cracked as you softly spoke, falling to your knees as you buried your face into your palms, tears streaming uncontrollably as you broke down.

Rushing over to your side, Leia went to her knees and held you in her arms. "I'm sorry, Y/N." She gently whispered, holding you against her, caressing your back and resting her chin on top of your head. She knew what you were feeling. She had felt so many losses in her lifetime it was only a wonder as to how she was still kicking and breathing. She was sure her heart couldn't take yet another death. Yet another loss in her family. "You're safe."

"N- No! No, Kylo was supposed to be here! By my side!" You yelled in anger as you shook from your wailing. "He was supposed to be with me, holding me in his arms, telling me it was all okay! That I was with him and that I was safe!" Shaking your head, you cried. "I- I want him! I want him here with me! I- I love him so much! So m- much!" You ached, your trembling body and breaking heart causing you to pant.

"He was supposed to be alive... He was supposed to live on with me. We were supposed to have a future together... Just us, free from it all..." You whimpered as Leia bit her tongue, eyes filling with her tears. "He wasn't supposed to die with the rest of them..." Your voice cracked. "I love him... I love him more than every single star in the universe loves the night sky. I lo- love him... And I've never loved before. And n- now... he's gone."

Sitting in silence as she tightened her grip, feeling your pain radiate onto her, she frowned. "It hurts so much... He's all I had... He's my everything..."

Feeling a few of her own tears slip, Leia sucked in a breath. Sitting there for what felt like hours, Leia eventually brought you to your feet and guided you out of the room.

Sniffling here and there as you held tightly onto Leia's hand as she guided you to a room, she entered as you followed, sitting you down on the bed. "I won't leave your side, I promise you. I will be with you for as long as you need me. To be that shoulder to cry on, or if you just need company. You're not alone in this, okay?" Leia spoke up, gently holding your chin, a few of her tears slipping. "We'll get through this together, I promise you. It's going to hurt you, but that's how grieving is. Just know... that Ben... Kylo loved you so much, that he put you before himself. That you meant so much more to save than to let die. Okay?"

Sniffling, you nodded. You knew how much she was paining. After all, that was her son... and the last of her bloodline. "Shower up, change, take your time. As long as you need, okay? You're safe here and I will always be there, by your side." She nodded, kissing your forehead.

Watching her walk away as your hand slid from hers, you swallowed before eyeing the large room, seeing the clothes set up for you. "Ben told me how much you love Naboo." Leia said before she had exited the room. "This is your home as much as it is mine." Seeing the sweet smile on her lips, you sucked in a breath, seeing the door close.

Nearly dragging yourself to stand up and grab the clothes, showering longer than you should have as you mostly just let the water run over you, you eventually had gotten out. Looking into the mirror and seeing the healed up wounds that were now faint scars, you grabbed a towel to dry yourself off before changing.

The material of the clothing ran smoothly against your skin and fingertips. A beige gown that hung loosely, long sleeves that allowed your arms to breathe, your hair hanging freely for once.

Walking barefoot over to the balcony, you eyed your surroundings as you took in a deep breath, you tried so hard not to think about Kylo, but it felt like your heart was ripped right out of your chest and torn into pieces. You just wanted to see him, at least once more. To feel his warmth. To hear his voice. To taste his lips and to look into his soft eyes that held the universe within them.

"Y/N?" Hearing someone call from behind, you looked over and saw Leia. "You look beautiful." She smiled as you smiled back, thanking her. "As you were being treated... I was informed on something."

Tilting your head, your eyebrows furrowed. "W- What is it?" You asked.

"They did all sorts of tests on you, checking on your vitals and what not... and they find out something." Leia said before sucking in a breath. "You... You're pregnant."

Feeling your lips fall from the faint smile, your breath hitched as your eyebrows scrunched up. "P- Pregnant?" Your voice came out as a faint whisper as Leia nodded.

"Yes." She nodded. "They ran tests and made sure a few times that the readings were correct... As you were showering they told me that you were, in deed, positive." Leia informed as you stood frozen. "I promise you, Y/N, that I will be there along the way if you choose to keep the child. I'll be there to help you and to assist you through the process."

Seeing her nod, you swallowed, heart racing once again at the thought of being pregnant. Of carrying a child... Kylo's child. The last possible thing... memory... _piece_ of him.

"It's all up to you on what you choose to do." Leia said.

Slowly nodding, you looked Leia in the eyes. "They're all I have left of Kylo... The last connection..." You said. "I couldn't lose that." You sighed. "His legacy."


	51. The Alley

Nearly nine months had passed since you had found yourself on Naboo, surprised with the news that you'd be a mother. And those months were hard on you. The first few weeks were hard, especially when you had constantly cried yourself to sleep and woke up crying. Leia had to come in and hold you in her arms, reminding you that you'd get the through it.

Although it was tough on you, the months feeling longer than they actually were, Leia kept you busy. If it wasn't doing things around the palace, it was visiting towns or cities, even going on little rendezvous around major points of the planet. Sometimes, you'd even visit the Resistance base.

At least once a month you visited the lake country, overlooking the waterfalls and using that as time to "speak" to Kylo. As if, where ever he was amongst the stars, could hear you. You'd tell him what you did and what new things you had seen, and always ending it with a _I wish you were here_.

Today, Leia had thought it'd be nice to have a small picnic by the lake. She had put together a cute little set up for the two of you to enjoy the scenery and the morning sun. "So, have you thought of any names?" Leia asked as you sat there, eyeing the mountains.

"No... Although I have been given so many lovely ones. It's hard to choose. The people here are so kind and giving." You said with a small smile. "I just don't know what I want..."

"That's okay, some people pick names the same day." Leia chuckled. "I know I did. And, funny thing is, I chose a name of someone who was dear to me. So, it didn't take long." Leia shrugged with a wave of her hand as you laughed.

"Hmm, maybe that'll happen to me." You nodded, only to hear the grass rustle as if someone had been walking on it.

"Oh, Rey!" Leia called out, just about to stand up but Rey waved a hand.

"All is well, you can stay sitting." She smiled, greeting the two of you. "Oh, look at you! It's been a while..." Rey gawked at your belly. "I'm so busy training all these Padawans that I keep missing your visits..." She lightly pouted as you chuckled.

"It's okay, it's good to see you." You smiled, reaching over to hug her.

"How many months? You must be ready to pop..." Rey said, eyes lingering on your belly before shifting them up to meet yours.

"Just about nine months! So, yes... I'm ready to _pop_." You nodded with a grin.

"Nine months? Wow... I don't know how you do it..."

"Neither do I, especially with twins-"

"Twins?!" Rey shrieked as you nodded. "Oh, stars! Your poor back!"

"Yeah, but, it's okay. I get good massages and the bed is very comfy." You laughed as Leia smiled. "But, enough about my pregnancy... How's everything?"

"Oh, well... A lot is happening. Training, finding more and more Force users. Finn is helping me out." Rey nodded. "Scouting and giving them the boost they need. Guiding them."

"Luke would be proud." Leia smiled as you agreed.

"Yeah... And Rose is helping out Poe. The Resistance is growing in numbers, so that's great! A lot of the First Order survivors converted... The galaxy is pretty calm. But, hey, it's always good to be prepared." Rey shrugged as you nodded.

"Wonderful, I'm proud of you all." Leia smiled as she rested a hand on Rey's shoulder.

"Thank you." Rey grinned. "Luke visits from time to time, fascinates the kids. As well as Anakin. Which is nice, I get to teach them about Force ghosts."

Listening in on Rey's words, your mind only moved elsewhere. Force ghosts... If Kylo was dead, shouldn't you have seen him at least once as a Force ghost? Lingering by your side? You were positive that he had the capability of doing so. Especially if his grandfather and uncle could.

Zoning out of the conversation, you stood up. "Oh, Y/N, is everything alright?" Leia asked but you simply nodded with a dismissive wave of your hand.

"Yes, I just realized I wanted to go to the palace plaza today to look around and see what goods I can get." You kindly smiled. "If you'll excuse me."

"Oh, we can join you?" Rey asked but you shook your head.

"It's okay, you two catch up, I'll be back." You nodded before walking away, the two watching you with slight slumps in their shoulders.

Walking around the avenue, seeing all sorts of vendors, fruit stands almost everywhere you looked, you decided to stop at a few to buy some fresh fruits for yourself. Amongst a few other things.

From time to time you did this, and you enjoyed it. It was nice seeing the life around you, all the people and creatures who coexisted in harmony. It was a beautiful sight and you were glad to have finally found a planet that suited you best. That almost felt like home.

 _Almost_.

You had come to realize that your home was anywhere with Kylo, being beside him, in his arms or feeling his presence. That's where you had belonged.

But, now that he was gone, you settled for Naboo. Naboo was welcoming and you felt stable living in it. You were just happy to have found the planet that made you feel like you belonged.

Calmly walking around, taking your time as you held a basket that was nearly filled with items, you turned away from one of the vendors and was ready to move on to the next one. But then you stopped in your tracks, and suddenly everything around you fell quiet. As if the living creatures around you were nothing but blurs.

Feeling your heart sink at the sight before you, your grip began to shake as the basket slipped from your hold. From afar, a man who looked very much like Kylo stood there. Staring right at you. Blinking a few times as your stomach turned, the figure had turned and walked off.

Reaching for your basket and trying to squeeze through the crowd, following after the person who was walking off, you saw them take a sudden turn.

Slipping through and escaping the horde of people, you turned the corner and found yourself in an alley with a dead end. Feeling your eyes burn with tears as your lips trembled, you couldn't help but sob as your face pressed into your palms, muffling your cries. You were alone, and Kylo wasn't truly there.


	52. Out There Somewhere

"She couldn't be far." Leia said as she searched the crowds alongside Rey, hoping to find you. "She has to be somewhere here."

Scanning the area and the vendors in her sight, Rey took in a small breath. It had been hours since you left their sigh, and Leia knew it didn't take you that long to be out on the avenue. Usually, you were too tired to be there any longer than an hour, exhausted from the constant crowds and walking. Especially with your aching back.

Walking along the streets, Rey did a double take as she looked into an alley. "Leia!" Rey called out as Leia snapped her head over, seeing you sitting on a crate, crying to yourself.

"Oh, Y/N..." Leia frowned, walking over to you. Sitting beside you and pulling you into her arms, you recognized that embrace.

"I- I thought I saw him... I thought I saw him in the crowd... And I followed. I followed and then... He was gone." You stuttered. "I'm seeing things."

Crouching before you as she held your hand, Rey spoke up. "Was it his Force ghost?"

Shaking your head, you looked at her. "N- No... He wasn't glowing... He wasn't blue... And he wasn't transparent..."

Blinking, Rey swallowed as Leia frowned. "Come on, let's get back to the palace." Helping you stand up, Rey went for your basket as Leia kept an arm wrapped around you.

Walking back into the avenue, around the groups of people, Leia's eyes snapped over to a vendor, swallowing as she looked at the backside of someone. Almost looking much like her son...

Seeing them turn their face, her breath hitched at the sight of their side profile. Blinking and looking down, she then looked back over and saw no one. Dismissing it, she continued walking beside you, all the way to the palace and bringing you in.

"Let's get ready for dinner, okay? Rey's going to join us." Leia said over to you as Rey handed you your basket.

"Okay..." You nodded, going to put your goods away as Rey and Leia watched you.

Looking down at your belly, gently holding it, you sucked in a small breath before changing into something more simple.

Bringing you with them to the dining room, sharing dinner with Rey and having small talk here and there, Rey had thanked the two of you for the dinner and spending the day with her before leaving, mentioning how she had to get back to her Padawans.

Walking alongside Leia, back to your room, she rubbed your arm. "You get some rest, okay? I'm sure you're due very soon." She smiled as you let out a faint chuckle.

"Yeah, I need beauty rest." You sighed, leaning over and hugging her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, angel." Leia wholeheartedly smiled at you as you slipped from her embrace, entering your room.

Walking over to your dresser and pulling out the smooth, silk nightgown, you undressed and changed into it before slipping your feet into slippers and aiming for the balcony of your room.

Opening the doors and walking out, seeing the moons shine brightly, you sucked in a breath. You decided to meditate—something you hadn't done in very long. Maybe then, you'd see Kylo.

Sitting on one of the balcony chairs, you took in a deep breath before focusing on the nature around you, the life Forms in the planet, palace, and... within your belly.

Opening your eyes and seeing the distant waterfalls, you couldn't help but smile. Lake Country. Your safe haven.

Sucking in a fresh breath of air as you shut your eyes, they opened again, only to sense someone besides you. Looking over, your heart fluttered. Kylo stood there... Dressed much like how he did as Ben. The white tunic and pants... bare feet. A faint smile on his lips.

Smiling as you eyed him, you felt his hand reach for yours, fingers intertwining, tightly. Bringing them to his lips, he kissed your knuckles as you blushed. At the sweet sight, your eyes watered up, knowing very well none of it was real... "I love you." You breathed before you pulled yourself out of the meditation, almost still feeling his hand in yours.

Standing up from your seat, entering your room and shutting the balcony doors with a swift wave of your hand, you went to grab a robe before exiting your personal quarters. For some reason, you had to go to Lake Country. No matter what time it was. Either way, you had the Force with you.

And, you still had Ben's lightsaber. Although kept locked away in a safe place, it still was a protector.

Standing amongst the grass, eyeing the starry sky and thinking about the freckles that scattered Kylo's skin, a faint smile grew on your lips. All those constellations that marked his skin and made him the galaxy in your eyes, you never thought that he'd actually become one with the universe.

Lowering your head and eyeing the waterfall, you walked towards it, as close as you could get, enough to feel the gentle winds and the light droplets of water on your skin. Shutting your eyes and listening to the waterfall, feeling yourself relax as your nerves calmed down from the earlier events, you sucked in a small breath... only to feel a presence.

Kylo's presence.

Quickly opening your eyes and looking around you, you frowned as you saw nothing. No one. Not a single soul... Or even a Force ghost.

"Kylo..." You whispered, in hopes that he was out there... _Somewhere_ out there. Reaching into the Force with hope, you looked up at the stars once more. "You're out there, somewhere..."

Sucking in a breath, you looked down at your belly and placed your hands on it, feeling the pair of life forms within it. At least you had them, you had two stars growing within you that you knew would be small reminders of their father. Possible miniature versions of him.

That thought kept you stable. At least a piece of him still lingered, was still there, within you and was a part of you.

At least you had that.

At least you had _them_.

Your binary stars.


	53. Together

Ready to return to the palace, wanting nothing more for the day to end and just sleep as much as you could, you instead found yourself going elsewhere. Although it was dark out and not many people were around, you didn't seem to think much of it. If someone were to try something on you, thinking you were vulnerable since you were pregnant, you'd make them regret it

But, the Force was with you and nothing bad came your way. Instead, you were approaching Padmé's mausoleum. For reasons unbeknownst to you.

Sucking in your lips you, you walked over to the entrance and stood there for a moment, almost hesitant. Something had been pulling you to it and you weren't sure as to what. Then, after biting your inner lip, you walked inside, only to see someone kneeling before the mosaic.

Eyeing them, the way their hair was tied back in a low, small bun, disheveled clothing and a broad build, you were about to back up and leave, but they looked over their shoulder. Almost as if they sensed you. Even if you were exceedingly quiet.

Feeling your heart skip a beat as you recognized that side profile, specifically the nose, you shook your head and shut your eyes. You were afraid that you had been hallucinating, that your mind was playing tricks on you after so long of holding it all together.

But, as you stood there with eyes sealed shut, you opened them to see the person now standing before you... Looking at you, and your heart exploded. It had to have been impossible, you must've been imagining it... Maybe even dreaming, although you couldn't remember falling asleep. It couldn't have been real. It had been too long. Nine months...

Maybe you were meditating? But, even then, it all felt too real. As if there was no way out of it.

Swallowing as you looked at his face, the facial hair that had grown, the bags under his eyes... The redness surrounding his eyelids. The way his eyebrows scrunched up, eyes glistening in the darkness with tears, your heart sank. With the lack of black he had been wearing, you could see his figure. Still as towering and broad as ever.

Slowly lowering your eyes, stopping them at the hilt of his lightsaber, sitting at his hip, you shook your head. You had to have been hallucinating. He couldn't be real. He wasn't real. That wasn't him before you, nothing but a figment of your imagination.

But then you heard a familiar beep come from behind you and a faint gasp left your lips as you turned and saw that black, round droid you had grown to love. Quickly looking back over to the man, he instantly rushed up to you and encased you in his arms, bending forward and burying his face into your neck as you stood there with a racing heart.

Feeling your lips part as you stood in pure shock, you felt his grip tighten, as if he were afraid you'd slip away. As if _you_ weren't real.

But you were and wouldn't disappear, this time he'd get to hold you and keep you there forever, and never lose you again. And you'd never lose him.

Shutting your mouth and reaching for his face, lifting it from your neck and eyeing his watery eyes, your thumbs brushed against his cheek, wiping his tears. Feeling his skin against your palms. Knowing he was real. Standing, hunched before you as he kept his eyes locked on to your own as tears fell, waiting forever for this moment.

"Kylo..." You breathed, breaking the silence as you let out an involuntary whimper before smiling. "Kylo!" Pulling him into a strong kiss, trying so hard to contain your happiness and the wide grin that took over your lips, you felt his lips move against yours just as passionately before you pushed back. "You're alive. You're alive!" You chuckled as he smiled, you moving your hands down his neck and shoulders, against his arms and into his hands, feeling them in your own. "You're alive..." You breathed, looking down as your tears slipped, bottom lip trembling as Kylo gazed down at you.

"I'm alive." He assured as you smiled, looking up at him. "I told you, I'd always protect you." Looking him in the eyes, you studied every inch of his face, eyeing his freckles and moles, more than glad that your universe was back in your hands.

"Was... Was that you in the avenue?" You asked. "Earlier?"

"Yes..." He slowly nodded as your heart skipped a beat. "I... I wasn't sure if... you were you. Not with your... belly." Kylo said, looking down at your stomach, your eyes following. "I was afraid you moved on."

"No... Never." You shook your head. "They're yours."

"They?" He asked as his head snapped up, you nodding with a smile.

"Yes... They." Seeing the look in his eyes, one you had never seen before, you chuckled. "Twin boys."

Growing wide eyed as his heart beat quickened, he gasped as more tears fell from his eyes. "Tw- Twin boys?" He whispered, looking back down as his shaky hands reached for your belly.

"Yes." You smiled, tears forming in your eyes once again as Kylo fell to his knees, pressing his forehead against your stomach and feeling the pair of life Forces. Your babies... His twin boys. His and your _sons_. "Our little babies..."

Leaving a long kiss against your stomach as he had sucked in a breath, he looked up at you with such bright eyes as your hands reached into his hair, running through the strands. "Ours..." He breathed as you nodded, only to hear beeping.

Looking over and seeing BB-9E roll over, you carefully moved to your knees. "Did you save my buddy?" You asked Kylo as you eyed the droid, holding its head.

"I had to... I couldn't leave the little guy behind. Although the biggest pain in my ass, _Beebee_ kept me company." Kylo admitted as you smiled at him, leaning over and kissing his cheek with a small _thank you_ before looking back at the droid.

Hugging the droid as much as you could as it let out the cutest of sounds, you gave it a kiss on top of its head. "I'm so glad to have you two back." You said, reaching for Kylo's hand. "My family."

At the sound of that, Kylo's heart swelled up, tightening his hold around your hand.

Leaning over, you moved your free hand onto his cheek as you sat up and kissed his other cheek. "All of us, together."


	54. Lazy Afternoon

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub with your feet inside the water as Kylo sat within it, eyes fluttering close as you helped wash him up, you smiled. You had wondered how it was that he escaped, but at the moment, you were more than happy to see that he was alive. Breathing before you.

You wanted nothing more than to hold him close and never let go, to make sure that this time you'd never lose him again. You needed him to stay, beside you, and to share your future together, in peace for once in both of your lifetimes.

Leaning forward and kissing the tip of his nose after rinsing out all the conditioner in his hair, pushing the wet strands away from his face, you gazed at him as he kept his eyes shut. Your love for him was eternal and nothing in the galaxy would ever change that. Not when he loved you the same.

Gently brushing the tips of your fingers against his cheek bones, you bit down on your bottom lip as you smiled, happy tears filling your eyes. Those nine months were worth the pain if this meant he'd be with you forever.

Opening his eyes and seeing you gaze at him, Kylo grabbed your hands and lowered them, sitting up and leaning towards you as he kissed your cheek before wrapping his arms around your waist. "I'm here and I'm real."

Smiling and nodding, you kissed the top of his head as you took in a shaky breath, the aroma of his freshly clean hair and body filling your nose as you shut your eyes. "Let's get to bed." You softly spoke, letting go of him as his arms slid from you.

Standing up and grabbing a towel for him to dry in, you exited the washroom and pulled back the sheets from your made bed. "I don't have any clothes..." Kylo said as you chuckled.

"That's okay, you've slept naked a ton of times before." You shrugged, eyes shifting over to BB-9E, already powered down and in a corner, causing a gentle smile to grow on your lips.

Feeling Kylo's arms wrap around your waist as he left soft kisses against your neck and exposed shoulder, your breath staggered for a moment. "You don't know... how much I longed to do this... all those months." He confessed as you then turned in your spot, reaching for his face and pulling him into a kiss.

"Me too..." You muttered against his lips, moving yours against his own passionately, but not as hungrily. You wanted to take it all in, to remember the feel of it, to let it last.

Leaving a small peck against his bottom lip, you grabbed his hand and guided him to the bed as he dropped his towel, the two of you cuddling up under the sheets as Kylo was pressed against your back, holding you as close to him as possible. Holding the hand that had been around your waist and protruding belly, your other rested under your pillow, feeling Kylo's hand there as it lied underneath yours, precious sleep taking over the two of you.

The next morning had come and Leia had decided to bring you some tea to help wake you up for the day. She nearly did this every morning and you appreciated it, plus, seeing her warm smile always made your day better.

But, of course, Leia did not expect to walk into your room and see someone else in your bed... Let alone, her _son_.

Dropping the glass of tea as the crashing sound caused BB-9E to snap 'awake', the droid instantly rolled over to her and went off in its protective manner, Leia looking over in confusion at it before realizing she had also woken you up.

Sitting up and seeing BB-9E beep it's life away, you spoke up. "It's okay, Beebee!" You called out. "That's Leia, Kylo's mother."

Shifting her eyes between the droid and you, seeing the wholehearted smile on your lips, Leia's eyes then moved over to Kylo who had slowly sat up, disheveled hair covering his eyes before he pushed it back to see who it had been. "Ben..." She whispered, eyes wide as her heart skipped a beat. "How?"

Reaching for his hand and holding it with both, you smiled. "I found him at Padmé's mausoleum..." You said as Leia blinked, staring at her son.

"I thought... I saw you yesterday... but- but I wasn't sure..." Leia swallowed as Kylo took in a deep breath. "You're alive..." Smiling and looking at him, clutching her chest, he nodded. And, in a matter of seconds, she rushed over and engulfed him in a hug.

"I... don't have clothes on." Kylo awkwardly stated as Leia shook her head.

"I was the one who cleaned your behind for ages. I could care less." She breathed. "I'm just happy to see you're home." Kissing his cheek before holding his face, she looked deeply into her sons eyes, smiling. So much light within them... So many features like Han. "You're home..." She repeated, heart fluttering within her chest as he nodded.

Smiling at the sight as you rested your hand on his bare back, Leia instantly peppered his face with kisses as he groaned, cheeks burning red as you watched with a faint chuckle leaving your lips. " _Mother_..." He warned but she ignored, the lipstick she had been wearing now smudged all over his cheeks and forehead, even the bridge of his nose.

"Hush, this is making up for all those years I couldn't do it." She said, leaving one last kiss on his temple. "I'm so happy... So happy... You have no idea." She teared up, only to look over at you. "And you have such a beautiful woman by your side who loves you so much... And she's going to be the mother of your children." Leia teared up, leaning over and kissing your forehead. "Oh, this is wonderful..."

"Mhm." You smiled with a nod as Leia had then pulled both you and Kylo into her arms.

"I'm going to plan the day out." She breathed before leaning back. "First, you need some clothes." Leia pointed to Kylo. "I'll be right back!" She rushed, you looking over and seeing BB-9E had cleaned up the spilled tea and broken glass.

Feeling the bed shift, you looked over to see Kylo leaning over, kissing your cheek before resting his forehead against it, you wrapping an arm around him as your free hand went to grab his right hand, bringing it to your lips and kissing the back of it. "Your mother is so wonderful." You said. "So sweet and kind... She was with me throughout the entire pregnancy, not once leaving my side."

Bringing your hand to his lips, he kissed it. "I'm lucky to have her, hmm?"

"Yeah." You smiled. "I wonder if my mother would've been that way..."

"I'm sure." He nodded. "And I know you'll be that way for the twins." Lifting his head and looking at you, you grinned at the sight of all the lipstick stains, scattered across his face.

"They'll have a wonderful life, we'll make sure of it." You nodded as you moved his hand onto your belly, both of you holding on as you leaned in and kissed him.

"Here we go, I got some outfits for you. I'll have to get more later and maybe get the tailors to make some." Leia said as she walked in, you looking over as Kylo then rested his head on your shoulder, kissing it before looking over at his mother who had been smiling.

"Thank you." He smiled back.

"I'll leave you two be, I want us to have breakfast together so be ready in half an hour!" She exclaimed, settling the close to a side before leaving the room.

"Come on." You nudged him as you then stood up from the bed, Kylo stretching and following your lead, you looking over as he went to grab his clothes. Rushing to his side, you wrapped your arms around him and kissed his shoulder blade before shoving him into the washroom. "Beebee doesn't need to see your bare ass."

"Right, let's not traumatize the droid." Kylo teased as you shook your head, the two of you sharing a shower and getting ready for the day.

"It's been quite the hassle." You said as you now found yourself having breakfast with Kylo and Leia, out on the terrace. "My back aches here and there and I pee a whole lot." You chuckled. "I'm just glad I'm due in any given day now."

Looking over at you as you sipped away at your juice, Kylo reached for your hand. "I wish I was there through it." He sighed but you shook your head, giving him a smile.

"It's okay, you're here now. You'll be there beside me to watch over and care for them." You nodded. "You'll be a great dad." Leaning over and kissing his cheek, Leia looked down for a moment as she grinned. The sight made her heart sink. The pure happiness between the two of you, the light that encased either of you like the fresh air.

"Have you thought of names for them?" He asked as you shook your head.

"No... They're just my binary stars." You laughed as he smiled.

"I think I have an idea for one of them... Repetitive but, it's well deserving." He said as you looked at him with a small tilt in your head.

"What is it?" You asked.

"Luke." He smiled as you beamed, Leia lifting her head. "And maybe we can name the other with his own name. Not... someone else's." He chuckled as you nodded, moving your hand to rest on his cheek.

"That's perfect... Leia, what do you think?" You asked, looking over at her.

"Absolutely lovely." She nodded. "I think you two should spend some time together, maybe show Ben to some places? Or visit Lake Country." She winked, knowing very well about the story of your first shared kiss with him, you telling her a few months back.

"Oh, yes!" You nodded, looking over at Kylo with an excited expression.

"Yeah, that'd be nice." He agreed as you then stood up.

"Thank you for breakfast." You said to Leia, kissing her temple as Kylo stood up as well, you grabbing your hooded robe as he walked to his mother and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you." He nearly whispered as she smiled, wrapping her arms around him for a moment before letting go.

"Go take your little lady to explore." She chuckled, smacking his butt as he shook his head, walking over to you and grabbing your hand. Watching either of you walk away, she gazed, heart warming at the sight.

"You're a wonderful mother." Hearing the familiar voice, Leia smiled, feeling a presence beside her, a hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you, _Anakin_."

Walking closely to Kylo as you had taken off your shoes to feel the grass against your feet, a small gasp left your lips. "What is it?" Looking over at you and following the direction your eyes were in, you instantly tugged him with you before he could react.

"A picnic? Oh, Leia must've planned this!" You shrieked, moving over to the set up as you had let go of Kylo's hand, pushing your hair behind your ears as you covered your mouth. "We've never had a picnic..." You said, looking over at Kylo.

"Pretty cheesy if you ask me-" Seeing the look on your face, he cleared his throat. "But, it's nice!" He nodded as you chuckled, pulling him down with you as the two of you sat.

"She actually packed little games for us..." You said, eyeing the basket she had set up, fruits and some drinks. "This is so nice..."

"I feel like we are preteens who were set up on a date by our parents." Kylo scoffed as you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, a preteen who is pregnant with twins." You shook your head, but Kylo pulled you to him and sat you in between his legs.

"Hey, you are a very mature preteen." Kylo teased as you let out a laugh, resting against him as he held your hands in his, the two of you enjoying the nature.

It was silent but relaxing, either of you sharing small talk here and there but enjoying each others company. Kylo would leave small kisses here and there as you'd burry yourself into his chest.

Now lying on the blanket, eyeing the clouds above you and pointing them out, saying what they looked like, your head rested against Kylo's shoulder. "That one... looks like Beebee." You said at a cloud that looked like an '8'.

"Sometimes I wonder if you love that droid more than me-"

"Shhh." You hushed, turning your head to kiss his jaw. "I love both of you."

Feeling a smile grow on his lips, Kylo turned on his side and got a hold of your chin, peppering your face with gentle kisses as you grinned. Humming against your skin, mumbling sweet nothings against your face, you let out small laughs as the tips of his hair brushed against you.

"Kylo..." You breathed as he kissed your neck, burying his face into your shoulder as he held you. "I'm so happy... So happy to have you here..."

Nodding his head and kissing your shoulder, he rested his hand against your right cheek as he kissed your left one. "I love you... so much." He muttered against your cheek as you smiled, only to wince.

"Oooh..." You flinched as Kylo instantly sat up, looking down at you.

"What is it? What happened?" His eyebrows instantly knitted as he helped you sit up.

"I... I think I'm having contractions?"


	55. A New Life

"C- Contractions?" Kylo stuttered, sitting on his knees before you with a racing heart. "Are... Are you going to... Are you about to..."

"Kylo, it's contractions, my water hasn't broken." You shook your head, waving a dismissive hand. "We should be fine, we should be fine..." You then nodded. "Let's, let's continue this! Our little lazy afternoon, a sweet-" Cutting yourself off, Kylo's eyes widened.

"What- What is it? What is it?!" Kylo panicked, instantly standing up. "Y/N, honey, you're freaking me the hell out..."

Shaking your head, you tried standing up as Kylo instantly reached for your hand to help you. "It's- It's okay, I just..." Standing up and feeling the wetness, you sucked in a breath. "Oh, no..."

"Y/N, that's it, we're going back." Kylo said, instantly picking you up in his arms.

"Kylo, it's just contractions, they're not close together! And- and my water broke-"

"It did?!" He exclaimed, nearly breaking into a sprint as you held tightly onto his shoulder. "Oh, stars, you are going to give birth..."

"K- Kylo, I need you to relax. My stars, take in deep breaths... It's all going to be-"

"Your water _broke_! You have _contractions_!" He exclaimed as you shook your head.

Rushing back to the palace as fast as he could get you there, running into Leia as she was quick to guide Kylo to the room you were planning to give birth in.

"Okay, sweetie, you can do this." Leia assured as you were now sat on the bed, the contractions becoming closer and longer as Kylo stood by your side, holding your hand. "Ben and I will be here, beside you, the entire time." She nodded as you nodded back, panting and sweating.

The birthing lasted far longer than you expected, Kylo had been antsy and came in and out of the room as Leia watched him constantly move back and forth. You, on the other hand, kept calling him back into the room. It wasn't like he didn't have the stomach or that he was weirded out, it was the fact that he had never dealt with anything like it before and it was making him more anxious than you possibly were.

But then, of course, Leia snapped and warned him saying "if you leave this room one more time I will make sure to keep you locked out and you won't meet your babies until tomorrow" and, of course, Kylo decided to keep himself glued beside you.

"See... Aren't you glad you didn't walk out?" Leia nudged her son as she stood beside him, eyeing the baby in his hold as he nodded, you chuckling.

"My hand is killing me-" Feeling his mother smack him up the head, Kylo groaned.

"You're too dramatic." Leia shook her head.

Smiling at the two of them, you then looked down at the twin in your arm. Your baby, your son. Brushing the back of your finger against his cheek, hearing the faint noises he made as he slightly squirmed in your arms, you leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead.

"So, have you decided names?" Leia asked, you looking up at her and nodding.

"Luke and Liam." You said, the one in your arms being named Liam as the one in Kylo's being named Luke. "Solo."

Lifting his head, Kylo looked over at you as you gave him a sweet smile. "Solo?" He questioned as you nodded.

"Yeah. I think it's... better that way. Everyone calls you Ben except for me and I think that needs to change." You chuckled. "Ben Solo, the father of Luke and Liam Solo." You grinned as he nodded in agreement, Leia smiling as she leaned forward and kissed her sons head.

"I'll let you _Solo's_ be for a bit. Then, I'm going to have some time with my grandsons." She winked, walking over to you and carefully hugging you, whispering "I told you you could do it" before walking away.

Turning your focus over to Kylo— _Ben_ —you smiled. "Solo's, hmm?" You winked as he let out a small laugh. "Has a nice ring, makes us truly feel like a family."

"I agree." He nodded, standing up and sitting on the bed with you rather than the seat next to you.

"Look it here..." Hearing a familiar voice, you looked up, Luke's Force ghost standing before you, besides Anakin. "I'm honored to have your son be named after me." Luke bowed his head.

"Unbelievable, I should've been the one." Anakin scoffed as you sighed, resting your head on Ben's shoulder. "I'm the one Ben was obsessed over."

"Alright, alright..." You waved a hand. "If we get a pet we'll name it after you."

"A pet?!" Anakin shook his head. "What, that droid of yours?" He pointed, BB-9E now standing at your bed side as it had rolled in the moment Leia had left.

Beeping in disbelief, you chuckled. "Hey, Beebee doesn't appreciate your attitude."

"Hmph." Anakin huffed with a cross of his arms.

"Well, at least we're proud of the two of you." Luke nodded with a smile.

"Thank you, Luke." Ben said, the two disappearing as Rey walked in.

"Hey." She greeted with a warm smile, carrying a pair of small, stuffed toys. "Oh, look at them! How precious!" Rey clapped, walking over and laying the pair of toys by the twins.

"Hi, Rey." You greeted.

"I have a guest who hasn't seen Ben in a very long time." She said, walking back over to the door and opening it.

"Who?" Ben asked, only to see a familiar face.

"Lando?" He sat up straight as your eyes shifted between Ben and the man.

"Hello, Ben. How ya doin?." Lando grinned, walking over as Ben stood up. "It's good to see you, kid." Patting Ben's arm, he then looked at the baby in his arm. "So now you've got kids of your own, huh?" Lando asked with a smile as Ben nodded.

"Yeah... This is Luke and that's Liam." He pointed, Lando looking over, then seeing you.

"And who is this pretty little lady?" Lando's eyebrow lifted as you chuckled, reaching his hand out as you held out yours, Lando kissing your knuckles as Ben rolled his eyes. A typical Lando move.

"The _mother_ of my children." Ben said. "My _girlfriend_." He emphasized, sound of it causing you to blush.

"Girlfriend, huh? You're a lucky guy, Ben." Lando winked at you as you chuckled, Ben sighing, lifting his son and resting him against his shoulder before moving to the other side of the bed.

"Why don't we let Y/N get some rest." Ben said, placing baby Luke in his cradle before leaving a gentle kiss against his forehead. "She needs to nap."

"I do?" You laughed as you eyed Ben with narrowed eyebrows. Seeing him nod as he walked over to you and reached for Liam, placing the baby in his crib, you shook your head. "Thank you, love." You said as he kissed Liam, walking back to you and giving your lips a quick kiss before walking over to Lando.

"It was lovely to meet you, Ben's girlfriend." Lando teased as Ben nearly shoved the man out with him.

"Likewise, Lando." You smiled, the door then closing.

"Kicking me out? What are you worried about?" Lando asked.

"Nothing, gambler." Ben shook his head as Lando laughed, the two walking over to where Leia was, standing amongst Chewie, Rey, Finn and Poe.

"Congrats, Ben." Poe patted his arm as Ben bowed his head.

"Thank you." He smiled. "Never thought this would happen to me..."

"Never day never." Leia spoke up as Ben nodded. "Well, now that you are a father, I think it's time you marry her." she teased.

"I agree." Ben nodded nonchalantly as Leia's eyes widened.

" _Really_?!" Leia gasped in disbelief as the others stared at Ben.

"Yeah... I mean... We've been through a lot together. We have babies... And I really do love her." He confessed as Leia smiled, eyes watering up—she was trying to take a break from all the emotions, especially the fact that she held back tears when she first met her grandchildren.

"I say, go for it." Poe nodded as he crossed his arms. "She is the reason why we're not killing each other."

Shaking his head, Ben laughed, Finn and Rey then agreeing. "Yeah, it's nice training these kids while not having to worry about a Jedi Killer." Rey said.

"We are very thankful for Y/N." Finn added as Ben took in a deep breath, sticking his hands into his pockets as he looked down at his feet, a faint smile on his lips.

"Me too..."

The small group talked for a good hour or so, Poe discussing changes and advances within the Resistance, Rey speaking about her students, Lando catching up with Leia and Ben as Finn and Chewie stood beside Rey.

After some time, Leia had gone to see the twins with Chewie, although having to stay very quiet as you—and the twins were napping—Leia handed over the twins to the Wookiee as he held both in either arm, eyeing them.

She remembered that look in his eyes and the way he quietly gazed at them. Just as he did when Ben was first born. It made her heart warm. She couldn't help but think about Han, how much he would've loved to have met the pair.

Leia could almost hear it, Han smiling down at his two grandsons, calling them _mini bandit one_ and _mini bandit two_ , saying how they are going to be so much trouble... But, he'd mention how much they reminded him of Ben. How precious they were and how much of a good grandfather he was going to be.

"Excuse me, I'm gonna check on Y/N." Ben said as the group nodded, walking back to the room you—and Leia and Chewie—were in.

Opening the door and quietly walking in, seeing you lying there, asleep, his eyes landed on Chewie. A smile grew on his lips as he watched the Wookiee hold the twins. So small in his arms.

Then, he looked over at his mother, seeing the tears in her eyes as she watched. He knew she was thinking about Han.

Walking over to the four, seeing the twins were fast asleep, he sucked in a small breath, more than glad he had found you in time after the events on the Supremacy.

Wrapping an arm over his mother's shoulder, Leia wrapped one around Ben's waist. "He would've been so happy to know... that you learned from it all and did what you did." She said. "And he would've thanked Y/N who knows how many times." Leia chuckled as Ben nodded.

"Yeah..." Ben breathed.

"They look so much like you when you were first born." Leia whispered over. "I know you'll do what's right. You'll do what Han nor I did... You'll be beside them through it all..." She said, nearly choking on her words as Ben stood there, silent. "You and Y/N will be wonderful parents." Letting go of Ben and smiling up at him, she then reached over to Liam, taking him from Chewie as she placed the twin back into his crib.

Watching Chewie put Luke into his crib, Leia moved back to Ben and gave him a tight hug, Chewie joining in and lightly speaking in his native tongue "take good care of them and her" before letting go and leaving with Leia.

Hearing a faint sound come from you, Ben looked over to see you waking up. Opening your eyes and seeing him, you reached your hand out as he walked over to you, leaning forward and kissing your cheek as you wrapped your arms around him.

"How'd you nap?" He asked as you hummed.

"Fine." You admitted. "Not long enough." You chuckled as you leaned back, kissing him before he got on the bed with you, moving you on to him. "I wanted to take advantage of them being asleep... I know this isn't going to be easy." Looking over to the twins as you buried yourself against Ben, his arms wrapped around you as he, too, eyed the twins.

"We'll get through it together." He nodded, you looking up for a moment and smiling before turning your attention back to the twins. "We can... Start our new lives here on Naboo. Raise them... Give them a good life, one they deserve."

Smiling, you nodded. "Mhm... Yeah. That would be perfect."

"And... we could get married." Feeling your eyes widen, your smile grew in size as you instantly sat up.

"Married?" You asked as you looked him in the eyes, Ben nodding. "Wait, is this your proposal?" You chuckled.

"Well, I mean... I just want to marry you already. We already have the kids-" Cutting him off with a kiss, Ben kissed you back before you held onto him, resting your head against his shoulder, heart filled with joy and excitement.

"I will _definitely_ marry you."


	56. Bonus I: Han Solo

The sound of gravel shifting beneath your feet filled your ears. Staggered panting filled your lungs as distant shouting was heard. You knew you were in a world of trouble. Yet again. "This is just great!" You exclaimed under your breath, looking over your shoulder. "I don't need this now I just got here not even five minutes ago!"

Pulling out your blaster and aiming it, firing it at the men following you, you instantly ducked as they fired back. You were trying to have a good day, maybe relax a little at a bar, but trouble always followed.

You had just smuggled a few goods, bowering a ship since you didn't have your own... It turned out that the ship you had _borrowed_ was actually from a well known gang that you should've stayed far away from. Especially when there was nothing but men now hunting you with deadly weapons.

Turning your head ahead and seeing a castle-like structure in the distance, surrounded by a lake, you were about to pick up your speed, only to feel a pair of hairy arms pull you behind a tree. "H- Hey! Get off-" Feeling the hand of the creature cover your mouth, your eyes squinted.

Looking over and seeing the group run right by, your shoulders slumped. The sound of a roar caused you to jump before a man walked in front of you. "You really should be careful, kid. You really don't want to mess with that gang. I've had a few run-ins... Not lovely." The old man before you said, easily in his fifties.

Lowering the hairy hand from you as you spat out the hairs that made it into your mouth, you turned and eyed the giant behind you. A tall, shaggy looking creature. One you've seen a few times around but never learned the name of the species.

Letting out a small roar, you tilted your head. "Chewie?" You questioned as they introduced.

"Ah, so you understand shyriiwook." The old man said as you turned your head to look at him.

"Uh, somewhat..." You lied. You just so happened to understand the creature... _Chewie_. "Who are you?" You asked.

Smirking, he stuck his hand out. "Han. That, is my buddy Chewie. Long time smugglers who can easily tell when other smugglers are about to get killed. You're lucky we found you in time." He said as your eyebrows narrowed.

"I could've handled myself perfectly fine." You crossed your arms, but that made him snicker.

"Ahh... Stubborn. You remind me of my son." He patted your shoulder as your arms dropped. "Let me get you something to drink. What are you, twelve? Maybe some water."

"Hey, I'm _fifteen_." You corrected. "Not twelve. And I am kind of new to the smuggling life..."

Looking over at you for a moment, Han took in a small breath. A young smuggler all on her own, he felt a hint of sympathy. You were alone and it was clear that you had no partner and lacked experience... "Come on, kid. Maybe I can teach you a few tricks." Nudging his head, you followed, the three of you aiming for the castle.

"Solo!" A short woman called out as you three entered. "It's good to see you."

"Good to see you, too, Maz." Han bowed his head.

"And my favorite Wookiee..." She grinned up to Chewie as your eyebrows lifted, Chewie roaring in response. "And... who is this young lady?" Maz asked, eyes shifting back to you. "Clearly not your daughter... She's too beautiful. Unless, of course, she looks like-"

"No, she's not my daughter. Just a kid I saved from being killed moments ago." Han waved a hand as your shoulders dropped. "A fellow smuggler." He smiled as you nodded.

"A smuggler? You're pretty young... But I sense much greatness within you. Hmm, maybe you'll be better than these two." She teased as you smiled. "Come, let me get you something to drink, you seem tired." Grabbing your hand in her small one, Maz guided you away as Chewie and Han followed.

Letting out a small sound, Han looked over at Chewie and nodded. "I'm sure her and Ben would get along if they met." Han chuckled.

"Here you go, my dear. Drink up. I'll get you something to eat." Maz handed over a cup as she gave you a table to sit at, one by a window that showed the lake.

"So, kid. What's your name?" Han asked as he sat beside you, Chewie doing the same.

"Y/N." You introduced as you looked over to him.

"What got you into smuggling?" Han leaned back in his seat as Maz came back with more drinks and your food, you thanking her.

"Oh, well... I needed something to do to get me by in the galaxy. I ran away from home... A long story that isn't all that settling." You chuckled as you looked down at the food, Han watching you. "Plus... Corellia isn't the best place to live on."

"Corellia?" Han asked, you taking a bite into your food before looking up and nodding. "A fellow Corellian."

"You're from Corellia?" Your eyes widened as he nodded.

"Mhm. Good to see you got out of there. There's so much in this galaxy to see." He smiled. "Do you have a ship of your own?"

Looking down, you shook your head. "I kind of... Took one... That's why that gang was chasing after me." Scratching your head as you kept your focus low, Han's face softened.

"Chewie and I can help remove the trackers from it so you can use it freely." Han offered as your head instantly lifted, eyes lighting up. "Just so you can be somewhat safe and out of harm's way."

"Really? Thank you..." You smiled, the three of you conversing for a bit longer, you finishing your food before thanking Maz again and leaving to where you landed the— _your_ —ship. "This is it." You presented.

Eyeing it, walking around as Chewie had done the same, Han nodded. "Not so bad. It's nice."

"Yeah... It's pretty roomy but not too much. Although it's just me." You said, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

Pushing the ramp button, Han pointed up, "Can we?"

"Of course." You nodded, following them after.

Watching the two eye the ship, Han and Chewie went for the canopy before working their way around. "It's a pretty new ship. Quite lovely. Nothing like my old beauty, but, she's a legend." Han said.

"Oh, maybe one day I can see it." You nodded as Han lightly smiled.

"Yeah, it'd be nice to see that you're still alive and doing well." He said as you laughed.

"I've survived a few things already... I'm sure I've got luck." You nodded again as you placed your hands on your hips, Han looking over.

"Well, then I guess you got lucky that we found you." He smirked as you shook your head. "And now that this is your ship, you should name it."

"Name it?" Your eyebrows narrowed.

"Yeah. Mine has a name. Yours should have a name, too." Han said as he worked away at the panel. "Like... Astrobleme or something."

"Astrobleme..." You nearly whispered. "It's nice. I like it."

"Astrobleme it is." Han spoke over his shoulder. "There... That should do it. Now they won't bother you." Han said, patting the panel.

"Thank you so much." You breathed.

"It's nothing, just promise me you'll take care of yourself and don't die." He pointed a finger as you nodded. "Maybe one day we'll meet again and I can introduce you to my son." He teased as you blushed.

"Thank you, Han. Thank you, Chewie." You bowed your head.

"You get going and explore the galaxy. And don't be late with your deliveries and payments!" Han pointed a finger as you chuckled.

"I won't!"

"Good." Walking over to the ramp, he looked over at you one last time. "Hey, kid."

"Yeah?"

"Hopefully our paths cross again in some way. Chewie likes you a lot." Han said as Chewie roared, you arching an eyebrow.

"Chewie, or you?" You crossed your arms.

"Both of us." Han shrugged.

"I hope so, too. You know, just so you know I'm not dead and all." You waved a hand as he gave you a small smile.

"May the Force be with you." He saluted as you smiled back.

"May the Force be with you."


	57. Bonus II: Jedi Knight

"Coruscant..." You said as you eyed the planet that was now in your line of vision, just about to enter its atmosphere. It was one of the closest planets to Corellia and was your first stop in "seeing the galaxy." You had Han to thank for this. If not, you probably would've been running still, or maybe dead.

Working your way around and finding a place to land in the insanely overcrowded planet, you found yourself on an outside landing platform. Exiting Astrobleme, you eyed your surroundings. All the buildings, zooming by speeders, the congested life. All the lights and signs. You wondered how someone could possibly live there.

Walking around, you heard a droid speak. "Welcome to Coruscant! 24 hours in a day, 365 days a year. The city life and political life. Try CoCo town or even Monument Plaza. Maybe even our lovely museums. Or maybe you're into the night life, check out Uscru district. One of our most famous points of interest is the Federal Public where you can find-"

Turning your attention away from the droid speaking, your attention was caught on a distant structure. It looked like a temple of some sort. Narrowing your eyebrows and walking ahead, your attention was caught by a zooming by speeder that made you stumble back. "Watch where you're goin!"

Looking at them, your eyebrows narrowed. Walking to them, the creature glared at you. "What?! Are you lost?! You want money!"

"I want your speeder."

"Huh? You're funny, little one-"

"You will get out and give me your speeder." You said, the creature instantly standing up and doing so. "And you will stay here all night until you realize you're lost." At that, you hopped into the speeder and flew off.

Finding yourself reaching closer and closer to the temple like structure, you landed in a nearby open area before hopping off. For some reason, it had caught your attention. Something about it drew you to it.

Walking towards it, hiding behind a pillar, your head tilted. It seemed abandoned, or as if it was hardly used. Just about to walk closer, a group of people walked by and made you instantly hide back, watching. There was someone leading them, someone really tall. They all seemed formal... Then, from afar, your eyes landed on someone watching.

Squinting your eyes and trying to draw them out from the distance between the two of you, all you could see was that they were wearing a beige robe and had dark hair.

Hearing talking, you looked back at the group, then back over to where the figure was... only to see they were gone. "What..." Narrowing your eyebrows, you were about to walk out, only to be pulled back.

"What are you doing?! Are you crazy, if they see you, they'll kill you!" Hearing the person speak, you looked up but could hardly see their face from the darkness all around you, their hood blocking their features.

"Wh- What?" You stuttered, something strange moving about you but you couldn't grasp onto as to what it was.

"Look, you need to get out of here." They said, but you shook your head, snapping out of your thoughts.

"Hey, I don't even know who you are! I am just eyeing that structure!" You pointed but they instantly covered your mouth.

"Shh, they'll hear you and come over here." He whispered as you shook your head.

Lowering his hand, you stood up straight. "Okay, mysterious robed one, then tell me what _that_ is." You pointed again to the building behind you.

Hearing them sigh, you bit your inner lip. "That was a Jedi Temple, then turned palace to the Galactic Empire. Now it's a disaster and it's not safe out here and you should _leave_."

"No way, I came to Coruscant to _see_ Coruscant, I'm not going to just leave!" You shook your head.

"Then go somewhere else! There are plenty of other places to look at-"

"But I want to see _that_!"

"But you cant!" Hearing distant footsteps, the man instantly pushed you back against the pillar as he nearly pressed against you. "Great, I'm going to lose them." He shook his head, you looking over and seeing the group.

"Wh- What is happening? Why are you so frantic?"

"Dammit..." He hissed, watching the group leave, only to pull you away, towards the direction of the speeder. "You need to leave. _Now_."

"But, I-"

"Leave!" He called out before running, leaving you standing there, confused. The feeling still moving in your veins.

"I don't even know who you are?! You're telling me to leave as if I should trust you!" You called over to them.

"I am a Jedi Knight and I think it's best you listen to me." He said, looking over his shoulder as you got a sudden glimpse of their eyes, the moons in the sky shining down and reflecting off of them as your heart suddenly skipped a beat. A strange sense of familiarity hitting you. "Get away from here and get somewhere safe." At that, he turned his attention back ahead and left your sight.

Standing there with a racing heart, a small breath left your parted lips. "Jedi Knight..."


	58. Bonus III: Force Ghosts

Hearing loud chanting in the distance, followed by music and the sight of a bright fire caught your attention. You walked closely beside Luke as the two of you were now approaching the Care Taker's village. "What... What is this all about?" You questioned, seeing all the Care Taker's grouped up, celebrating... something.

"The Care Taker's hold little... parties amongst themselves. A sort of tradition amongst them. Today... they are celebrating the Force Ghosts that roam amongst us. Past Jedi." Luke informed as you slowly nodded, now seeing that Yoda, Obi Wan, and Anakin were there. Amongst a few faces you couldn't recognize.

"Who... are they?" You pointed over, Luke following the direction you were looking in. "I've never seen them before."

"Ah, those are past Jedi Masters... That one over there, is Qui-Got Jinn. Obi Wan's master. The one beside him is Mace Windu... There's Plo Koon... Ki-Adi-Mundi, Aayla Secura... Shaak Ti and Kit Fisto..." Luke continued on as your eyes widened, not realizing there was a number of Jedi Masters... Rather than just one.

"There must have been a bunch of Jedi during the time of the Old Republic..." You nearly whispered as he nodded.

"Yes, plenty of men and women were a part of the Jedi Order. Plenty." He chuckled as you nodded, eyeing your surroundings. "Many were Padawan learners. Jedi Knights... Jedi Masters."

Eyeing Anakin, Obi Wan and Yoda, you spoke up. "Is Anakin a Master? Well, was?" You asked but Luke only shook his head.

"No, but he was a Jedi Knight. He did have his own Padawan." Luke said as you nodded.

"Ahsoka..." You remembered. "Where is she now?" You questioned, turning to face Luke.

"I'm unsure... No one really knows. She's still alive, out there somewhere, I'm sure..." Luke breathed as you turned back to face the celebration.

"I would've loved to have met her. She seems interesting." You smiled.

"Y/N, come over here!" Anakin called out to you, you looking over at Luke who nodded.

"Excuse me." You bowed your head to Luke before walking away, over to where the Force ghosts were. "Hello, Anakin. Yoda, Obi Wan." You greeted. "So... these are all Jedi Masters?" You said rather than questioned.

"Yes, of the Jedi Order. We worked closely with them back on Coruscant." Obi Wan said as your eyes widened.

"Coruscant?" You questioned, thinking about how almost a decade ago you had gone there, being the * _first_ * planet you visited with Astrobleme, being your own ship rather than a stolen one.

"Yes, Coruscant held a Jedi Temple. One of the biggest and greatest." Obi Wan nodded. "Home of the Jedi Order, of course, before it turned into an Imperial Palace." He said. "It was the headquarters for the Jedi. It was a monastery, a training center, and it held the government for the Masters. The Jedi High Council." Blinking, your eyebrows lifted. You couldn't help but think about the building when you had seen it.

"You've been there... haven't you?" Anakin asked with a skeptical look as you slowly nodded.

"Yes, a while back when I was fifteen. I had visited Coruscant and saw this... large structure and something about it had caught my attention." You stated. "I went to it, I wanted to go inside, but someone stopped me... Apparently it wasn't the greatest area to be in..." You sighed as Anakin looked over at Luke for a moment, then back to you.

Overlistening the conversation, Luke's eyebrows knitted. "When was this?" Anakin asked.

"A good ten years ago, well, more or less..." You said. "There was this group of people... Looked mysterious but it wasn't my problem. Apparently, it was someone else's." Furrowing his eyebrows even more, Luke walked towards you. "I don't know who they were... but they said they were a Jedi Knight."

"Jedi Knight?" Luke questioned as you then looked over at him, giving him a nod.

"Yes... I could hardly see their face... but, now that I think of it, I felt something from them. Must've been that they were Force sensitive." You said, taking in a deep breath before exhaling. "Maybe... it was one of your students?" You asked Luke but he stayed silent.

Seeing the look on Luke's face, the way his eyebrows scrunched up and how his jaw tightened, Anakin walked over to you. "Why don't I introduce you to some of the Masters? I think it'd be nice for you to meet them." Anakin said as you slowly looked over at him, sensing something was off about Luke.

"Oh, okay." You nodded, looking over at Anakin and giving him a small smile before walking off.

"A student of yours, it was." Yoda spoke up, looking at Luke as Anakin had left with you.

"Yes..." Luke sighed. "A student that snuck out more often than not... Now I know where he went." Swallowing and looking down, Luke took in a small breath. "Ben Solo..."


	59. Bonus IV: Sweet Dreams

The aches and the pains that were felt throughout Kylo's body kept him wide awake. Grunting, hissing, yelling at the nurses and droids that tried helping him. It had been hours since he was saved from the imploding of Starkiller Base, and hours since his defeat from the scavenger.

It pained him just as much mentally as it did physically. His failure. The fact that a day aware Force sensitive was able to defeat him—someone who had been training with the Force for _years_ on end. And he knew his Master would not be pleased with the loss.

But, the confrontation with Snoke wasn't the biggest of his worries, if anything, he was more upset in his own Master than he was fearful. He was feeling envious but also furious with the man... creature... _being_. Kylo knew he was meant for more than to just try and recruit another Force user or try to kill them. More than just a Commander and Knight. He was more and _deserved_ more.

Lying down, injuries wrapped up, Kylo gritted his teeth in frustration from being held down by restraints. He hated the position he was in, he wanted to be up and moving, doing _something_. But, he knew, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't.

After hours upon hours of struggling in his spot, finding ways to escape or to at least be left alone, he finally found himself asleep. Something he hardly did on the daily but so desperately needed.

If and when Kylo had the chance to actually get some rest, he usually woke up a few hours after, no thanks to his constant nightmares. Nightmares of his past, or even his worst fears. Things that haunted him or things that drove his anger.

But, instead of finding himself in a void of darkness, or reliving a memory he wanted no part of... he found himself surrounded by light. And nothing but it. A bright sun beaming down, nature sounding all around him, nature surrounding him as he sat there... holding someone close to him.

In the distance was a waterfall, roaring as the water came rushing down, crashing into the lake. It was so calming and soothing. Sucking in a deep breath, taking in the fresh air as he shut his eyes for a moment, Kylo reopened them and felt a pair of hands move into his own as he looked down. They had said something to him as they buried into his chest, but he couldn't make out as to what.

Then, they held onto him, fingers moving along his arm as they kept speaking—yet, he couldn't hear a thing. But, he didn't seem to question any of it. It all felt right. As if this had been real life and the life he was living was nothing but a long nightmare.

Seeing the person in his arms turn, he couldn't seem to see their face, almost as if it were blurred. They gently pushed him down as they laid beside him, looking up at the clouds and pointing at them as he held them close. An arm was wrapped around their waist, hand resting on... their protruding stomach.

It all felt so real, the way he could hear the distant birds and the winds pushing the grass around him, the distant waterfall... And the person resting against him, as if they were physically there. As if they were actually on him, resting their head on his shoulder, leaving gently kisses against his neck and jaw.

He could feel himself slowly slipping from that world, everything around him fading away. Kylo tried so hard to latch on, to keep himself in that world, but, no matter how hard he tried, he found himself waking up with tears in his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling before him. No longer resting on the ground with the person who seemed to have loved him, rather... he was lying on a cot. Half of his face was wrapped up as was his waist, a blanket up to his mid torso as his arms clutched onto the material.

For once, he had actually dreamt of something nice... something he hadn't known he longed for until he had found himself in it.

And, little did he know, that that would be his future.


	60. Bonus V: Great Escape

Standing amongst the disaster that was now the Supremacy, feeling its violent shakes and seeing the constant sparks spew from the erupting and burning fires, Kylo looked out the window that was sat beside the escape pod he ejected you in. Seeing you in the distance, he then heard beeping come from BB-9E. "We're going to get out of here." He said, turning away and rushing off, using his lightsaber to break apart fallen debris.

The constant shakes and tremors of the vessel caused him to stumble, the falling walls and panels making him duck as his eyes landed on a distant escape pod. "There!" Kylo pointed, rushing over and nearly tripping from the shifting floor panels.

Forcing the escape pod open, Kylo helped BB-9E in it before he got in, quickly ejecting it before seeing the Supremacy grow smaller and smaller, exploding into pieces that now scattered the starry sky. The sight before him being one of the last things he saw before feeling a sudden impact and being sent into oblivion.

Waking up in a hurried breath, Kylo kicked the door open of the escape pod before falling out, onto his knees as BB-9E fell with him. Trying to catch his breath as his muscles ached, he rubbed his face before lifting his head. Eyeing his surroundings, seeing distant lava and the dried molten beneath him, Kylo took in a deep breath before forcing himself to his feet, nearly falling. It felt like it was seconds ago that he left the Supremacy, but by the feeling of his jelly like limbs and throbbing head, it must've been far longer than that.

"Where the hell are we..." Kylo said as BB-9E stood beside him, eyeing its surroundings, scanning it before beeping. "Sullust? Of course..." He groaned. "A barren planet filled with lava streams..." Taking in a deep breath, he nudged his head. "Come on, lets see if we can find a ship or something."

Walking on, seeing a distant factory, Kylo rubbed his back and rolled his shoulders. Looking up at the sky, his mind then shifted to the thought of you. Wherever you were. He had hoped you were somewhere safe, okay and breathing. He knew you were alive, you must've been, he would've felt your loss within the Force... Or maybe even saw your Force ghost.

But, he tried keeping a clear mind, being optimistic in hopes that he'd find a way out of that planet and make his way over to you... wherever it was that you were. He would find you, somehow.

Making it to the factory, having to use his lightsaber to get into places, he saw abandoned starfighters, a few that looked completely destroyed, others breaking apart... and, to his luck, one that seemed decent. "Let's hope this one works." Walking over to it, going up the rigged steps and helping BB-9E, he found a way to open it before letting the droid in, first.

Eyeing the panel and making sure the fighter was working enough to get him somewhere, Kylo looked up and realized there was no way to release the ship while it being stuck inside. "Dammit." He hissed. "We need to find a way to get this outside." Hearing the droid beep, Kylo looked over. "No I am not going to burn a whole in a wall! Do you not see how big this thing is!" Shaking his head, Kylo got out of the ship before searching the area around him. "Come on, droid."

Looking around the area, in hopes there was an opening somewhere, BB-9E looked up and nudged Kylo's shin. "What?" Following where it was looking, Kylo's eyes narrowed for a moment. "Let's just hope that opens." Feeling the droid nudge him again and beep, Kylo looked back down and to the right of him to see a sort of control room.

Rushing over to it, eyeing the panel and the buttons, Kylo pressed away, unsure of what did what, hearing odd noises and metal screeching as he flinched. "Shit." Banging the panel and hearing the sound stop, he sighed. Hitting more buttons and hearing a rumble sound, Kylo looked up to see the roof slowly open, only to get stuck. "You have got to be shitting me..."

Beeping at Kylo, looking at him, then his lightsaber, BB-9E tilted its head as Kylo looked down at the droid, then his lightsaber. "What is destroying the panel going to do, it's the-" Hearing the droid snap, Kylo glared. "Fine!"

Igniting his lightsaber and slashing the panel, seeing the sparks fly everywhere as BB-9E stood there and watched in awe rather than cowering away, the roof opened up more as Kylo panted. "Alright, we're getting somewhere..." He said, looking up with a faint smirk on his lips. For once, destroying a panel actually helped him out. "Let's go, we need to find Y/N."

Chirping back, BB-9E quickly followed Kylo behind as the two made their way back to the starfighter, Kylo helping it in as he maned the small ship. Lifting it up as it roughly trembled, Kylo bit down and hoped it wouldn't breakdown on him. "Come on... come on..." Kylo muttered to himself, the ship finally steadying out and zooming straight for the sky. "AHA!" Jumping into warp-speed, Kylo was off.

He knew it was going to be a mission to find you, but he was going to do what ever it took to get to you. No matter how hard it would get.


	61. Bonus VI: Purge

Months had passed since Kylo had found himself on the lava planet of Sullust. After searching a factory alongside BB-9E and finally finding a TIE fighter, the two made their way off and began their journey. Sadly for them, their journey was going to be a long one.

The starfighter worked perfectly fine for a few rounds, making it to Malastare before leaving it after no sign of you. Then, they traveled to Takodana, Jakku, and even Coruscant but, still, no sign of you. _Anywhere_. And he couldn't even reach out to you through the Force for some reason.

After searching some of the expansion region, inner rim, Kylo found himself amongst the core worlds. But when they landed on their second stop in the core region of the galaxy, they ended up losing the ship from its overheating. Kylo, of course, was furious and BB-9E was just as irritated.

It had easily been over eight months since they had left Sullust, and they had not even an ounce of luck on them. Kylo was growing less and less patient with how much time was passing and still not finding you. His fear was starting to get to him, making his doubt grow stronger and stronger. What if you had died? What if someone found you or killed you? What if you were a slave? What if you were lost in open space? If his escape pod had landed on Sullust, shouldn't yours have, too?

Standing in disbelief after their only source of flight exploded before them, Kylo's jaw tightened as he clenched his fist. "Eight months, over eight planets... and no sign of Y/N." Kylo said, breathing growing heavy as his heart raced. He could feel the heat rushing to his head as he was reaching his tipping point. "No fucking sign of Y/N and we have no fucking spacecraft!" He shouted as BB-9E lowered its head, shaking it before scanning the area.

Beeping and rolling over to Kylo, Kylo huffed. "What?" Beeping in response, Kylo's eyebrows narrowed. "What do you mean we're on Corellia?" He spoke through gritted teeth. "Out of all planets we had to get stuck on, this is it?!" He exclaimed. "I swear to the stars above Y/N better not be here." Thinking about just how much you loathed the planet, Kylo had hoped that you were nowhere on that wretched planet. Not after what you had been through on it.

But then his mind went to a dark place. What if you were on there? What if you were stranded and someone found you... _People_ you did not want to see...

Your adoptive parents.

Tightening his fists even more, Kylo instantly turned in his spot. "No, they will not hurt her." Kylo huffed. With all the fury built within him from the fact that he _still_ hadn't found you, his fear was starting to blind him. What if they were holding you captive? What if you were being abused again? He couldn't take the what if's and the constant worry.

So, he searched. He searched and did everything he could to find _them_.

He remembered what you had told him, and he was able to see your past when you had allowed him into your mind. If they were foolish enough, the fiends that called themselves your adoptive parents, would be living in the same spot they were years ago. In the same city, in the same home.

" _I was born on Corellia_." Your voice echoed within his head as he was on the hunt.

" _And then I was taken in to this couple. Who, I would never consider in a million years, to be my parents_." Kylo had been treading with pure determination, remembering your visions, seeing your memories as his own... Knowing, _remembering_ , where you had once lived.

" _They were neglectful more often than not. Plenty of times I found myself lost in shoppes or roads, in the middle of forests... I was only a toddler when it first happened. Easily five years old. They left me behind at a busy road filled with vendors and I had never been so scared in my life_." Seeing a village amongst a forest appear, Kylo could see you when you were just a toddler, running through that same forest with pure fear in your eyes.

"... _the galaxy's most neglectful, abusive, and manipulative parents!_ "Hearing his breathing fill within his ears, storming through the village, Kylo removed his cape.

" _They made me steal for them_." Tightening his jaw, Kylo's chest heaved.

" _So, they adopted a child in order to get what they needed_." In his head, he could see your memories. The way your eyes brimmed with tears, the feeling of your fear coursing through your veins, how you tried so hard to stay locked up in your small room.

" _They made me do things my body couldn't physically take._ "

" _I was too young, my bones weren't all that strong, my muscles were thin. But that wasn't logic to them._ "

" _They saw it as weakness._ "

" _They yelled at me, made me cry, guilt tripped me._ " Latching onto his lightsaber and igniting it, he approached the familiar hut and kicked the door right down.

" _The older I got, the more and more they used me_." Hearing the sudden yells of the two figures within the hut, faces he recognized from your memories, your voice in Kylo's head tuned out their screams.

" _They made me work long hours_." Lifting his lightsaber, he swung. And he swung with every line he heard in his head.

" _They made me trade things they claimed they couldn't have_." He swung again.

" _They even still had me stealing_." Then again.

" _Up till the age of fourteen, when I decided it was enough. That my bones couldn't take it. That I couldn't take it_." He swung until their screams were no more. Nothing but grunts of pain as he went limb for limb. A slow death.

" _It was destined to happen, for me to run away and never look back. I've traveled far and wide and I have never returned to Corellia_." Staring down at the two as his chest heaved, a hunch in his back as his lightsaber crackled with its sparks flying, Kylo shut his eyes for a moment.

" _I ran and I kept running. And running. Until I found a place_ ** _here_**." Falling to his knees as his lightsaber slid from his grip, your face filled his thoughts. The sight of you, lying beside him, looking up at him, holding him close... kissing him... telling him you loved him. He felt his eyes burn with tears. You weren't on Corellia... You were nowhere to be found. And he was afraid he had lost you for good this time.

" _Nothing will harm you here, not even your adoptive parents_." His own words echoed in his head, the memory of him looking deeply into your eyes. The mix of fear and hope filled within them. And his urge to protect you, blooming.

Hearing a faint beep come from behind him, Kylo's watery eyes opened up as turned to look over his shoulder, BB-9E rolling up to him, presenting a small hologram of a blinking light. "The escape pod..." Kylo breathed, eyebrows narrowing. "You finally got a signal?" Bowing it's head, Kylo wiped his tears and stood up. "We need to find a ship."


	62. Bonus VII: The Story of Us

It was the first few weeks after the twins had been born. Ben was still adjusting to the fact that he was now actually living on a planet with a different time set and, well, the fact that he was on an _actual_ planet.

But, the adjusting wasn't so hard, not when he had twin babies to deal with.

It wasn't as hard as he expected it to be, not when he had you, his mother, and... well, plenty of aides in the palace. But, per your request, you wanted it to just be you, Ben and his mother to watch after the boys rather than a crowd. You didn't want them being confused as to who was who.

You and Ben had moved into a rather large room that felt more like an apartment than anything else. In the room, there was a study in it that connected to the bedroom, in which the two of you made into the babies room.

Ben knew that there'd be plenty of late nights, in which he tried preventing you from dealing with. It was enough that he was a light sleeper and sleeping was still a bit hard to deal with, so he didn't mind getting up for the twins. Although he did have his moments where he'd get worked up and you'd have to step in.

The first few nights were harder for Ben than they were for you. He would get mad for not knowing how to do something or for screwing up, but, your connection to him was stronger than ever and you were always there to give him a gentle touch and remind him that it was okay. That he'd get the hang of it eventually—in which he did. He was a fast learner and certain things had grown easy on him.

Possibly why he was always so quick to handle the twins; and you found this cute. You didn't think Ben would be so attentive, you thought he would've been a bit more distant. But, he was trying. He was trying to better himself for you and the babies, as well as for himself.

Holding you close to his chest, his hand in your hair as you were buried up against him, the distant sound of one of the babies whining woke him up. Most of the time, if it wasn't a cry, he'd feel the distress in the Force moments before—which usually saved him from hearing constant whining. Probably why either of you weren't as stressed as you should've been.

Carefully separating from you, Ben stood up from the bed and shivered from the lack of clothing on him, just in his underwear.

Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, he walked over to the lightly ajar door in the bedroom that lead to the twins room, pushing it and seeing Luke in his crib fast asleep as Liam whimpered. "Hey, little buddy..." Ben whispered, reaching into the crib and lifting the bundled up baby in his arms. "It's okay, I'm here." Checking his diaper and seeing that he was fine, Ben then heard faint sounds coming from Luke, looking over to seeing him wake up.

"It's way too early for you two to be up." Ben shook his head, resting Liam in one arm before grabbing Luke in his other, carefully, walking over to the rocking chair and taking a seat. The twins, for the most part, would wake up whenever the other would. They were highly in sync and Ben couldn't help but find that funny.

If one was hungry, the other more than likely was, too. If one was tired, the other was dozing off. If one was waking up, the other would moments later.

And both you and Ben dealt with that on the daily.

Rocking on the rocking chair as he held the babies in his arms, Ben took in a small breath. "Alright... what story shall it be tonight?" He said as he looked down at Liam, whose crying had faded away, watery eyes staring up into his father's as he had a small pout. "Let's see... I've told you about your great uncle... Your grandfather. Some of my Jedi training... As well as the Falcon..." Ben trailed, then getting an idea. "But I have not told you about how I met your mother..."

Hearing babbling and a coo come from Luke, Ben looked at him as the baby wiggled in his spot. "So you want to know about us?" Hearing a hiccup come from Liam, Ben turned his attention back to the twin as he saw a small smile. "Okay, I'm happy with that."

Rocking in the chair, Ben sucked in a breath. "Well, apparently your mother and I had met before we _actually_ met. She was on Coruscant as I was, too. She was—and still is—a curious one. She wanted to see the temple. The Great Temple. But, it was just a bad timing... I had stopped her in time, luckily. She was just so curious and I had sensed another presence. A strong one... I had never felt anything like it."

"When I went to stop her, and got a hold of her, I had felt something in my veins... A connection of some sort. But, naive me who was too focused on other stuff didn't pay it any mind and ignored it. I thought it was just the Force reaching out to me. Little did I know it was the potential start of a bond... A connection we'd soon have almost a decade later."

Reaching along the bed, feeling the lack of warmth against you, you let out a small groan. You knew Ben was near, you sensed him, but he wasn't in bed with you.

Opening your eyes and seeing the empty spot, you sighed, only to hear a faint voice in the distance. Standing up and hugging yourself to keep yourself warm, you grabbed a throw that was close to you and pulled it over your shoulders as you walked over to the babies room, catching Ben on his story telling—something you did here and there.

"There was this strange presence I kept feeling in the Force... It was like that for days. I even dreamt about her once, it was our future, but I had no idea it was her." Ben said as you listened in. "It was so peculiar. It was like something was reaching out to me in the Force. Like if someone was actually there. It was unsettling at first, I'll admit... But then we had our first Force connection. And I saw her."

"It was an odd experience. The world around me had silenced and it was just the two of us. No one else. I, of course, being the person I was... was very skeptical. A bit annoyed and irritated, it was my personal space... But, I was curious. Curious about the connection and curious about her..."

"Although I never admitted it to myself until some time later, she was a beautiful sight to see. So... fascinating. She was like a desert rose. A beauty amongst the barren. A beauty amongst the lack of beauty. Nothing was pretty about the First Order or the people in it. Not even myself. But then, there she was... I knew there was something about her, aside that I put together that she must've been Force sensitive. There was something within her eyes and her aura..."

"She wasn't physically there, that wouldn't happen until weeks later... But seeing her was becoming more and more often... and I'd be lying if I said I never thought about her. Day and night. She consumed my already cluttered thoughts." Hearing his words, you couldn't help but smile.

"I wondered a lot about her... Who she was, where she was from... How I never sensed her before. Where did she come from? What really was her job? What was she like? I just... I was infatuated with her. She was an enigma."

"But then, we grew closer and closer... She insisted. I, for one, was too hostile and timid to even think of such thing. But she wasn't. I had learn things about her that no one else knew. Her deepest and darkest secrets. Her past. Her life. And she hardly knew about mine. Or, at least I thought that. Little did I knew she did know who I was."

"And... little did I know that she... She sacrificed so much... to bring me home." His voice faltered as he sucked in a breath. "She likes to say that it was because of Luke and Leia, that she was just the connecting line that helped guide me back but I... I know it was her."

"My mother had a big part, of course... But Y/N... she helped me realize that there was more to the universe than just dark and light." Feeling your eyes fill up with tears, you bit down. "I don't like saying I returned to the light because I know there's still... something there within me. But I know there's a balance now. A balance she helped create."

"The dark and the light... It isn't just that. There's so much in between. A spectrum. And not everyone truly leans to one side. I didn't."

"The moment I was able to physically meet your mother... there was something there. Something so strong that, when I had found out the truth about her, I was afraid I was going to lose whatever _that_ was. That, whatever we had was all a lie. I was afraid that I'd lose my chance. I'd lose companionship... a friend. Someone who had wedged themselves into my life. A piece I needed."

"But, I didn't. I didn't lose her. No matter what had happened between us. No matter what Snoke had done, no matter if she was taken from me or I had lost her in this galaxy... We always found our way back to each other."

"We always ended up back in each others arms..." He breathed as you smiled, leaning against the door frame as you watched him. "We were meant to be..."

Feeling a few tears slip, you sucked in a quiet breath, lowering your head for a moment as you bit your inner lip. You turned away from the door and leaned against the wall as you thought about your story with Ben and how far you had come. So much had happened, and yet, you still were together... stronger than ever.

Seeing the twins falling asleep, faint coos leaving them as they rested in Ben's arms, he stood up and placed them back in their cribs. Fixing the blanket that had Luke wrapped up in like a burrito, Ben went back over to Liam and adjusted the small hat he had on to keep him warm. Pressing gentle kisses on either of the twins, he sucked in a breath, smiling. He never knew he could feel so much love and to have so much to give... especially to you and the twins.

Just about to turn around, Ben felt you and your emotions. He wondered if he had accidentally woken you up.

"I feel like there are not enough I love you's in the world to express how much I love you." Ben said, knowing very well you could hear him.

And, you did. Your heart had skipped a beat. You turned from the wall and walked back over to the doorway to see his back facing you. "I feel it in my bones, in my veins... in my soul. I love you, I really do... And you've given me so much to love. So much to appreciate... and I remind myself that, even if I believe I don't deserve any of it, that I'm so thankful to have it."

Sucking in a breath as you smiled, Ben then turned and faced you. "And I'm so thankful for you."

Feeling a few more tears slip, you smiled. "We were meant to be..." You slowly nodded as Ben smiled, walking over to you before getting a hold of your cheeks. "I love you, Ben Solo." You nearly whispered as he wiped your tears.

"I love you, future Mrs. Ben Solo." He smiled as you chuckled, Ben leaning forward to press a gentle kiss against your lips before wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.

"This is just the beginning for us... We have so much to live for." You muttered against him before he leaned back to look you in the eyes. "You and I..."

"We'll make it last." He nodded before kissing your forehead. "We always do."


	63. Bonus VIII: A Wedding on Theed

Standing on the balcony, overlooking the pair of moons in the night sky amongst the twinkling stars, Ben took in a small breath, a smile growing on his lips as he thought about the day to come. The big day. He was going to marry you.

Although a year had passed since the twins birth and Kylo—Ben—practically proposing, he found himself content. Relaxed. Happiest as he could be. For once in his life.

Hearing light footsteps from behind him, your arms wrapped around his waist as you rested your cheek against his arm. "Anxious?" You asked, but Ben shook his head.

"No... Surprisingly. Although I know my mother is making a very big deal about this..." He chuckled as you smiled.

" _Then_?" You trailed as he let out a small breath, gazing at the night sky.

"Just... thinking." He nodded. "About it all... My life, yours, how our paths met... Our children, our future." Feeling you rub your cheek against his arm, Ben slightly turned his head and looked down at you. "I had a dream a while back... the night Starkiller Base was destroyed. I was in the infirmary of the Finalizer..."

"A dream?" You questioned, Ben nodding as he turned to grab you, sitting you on the railing as he held your waist.

"Yeah... I thought it was just a nice dream. That the Force was being kind and allowing me to have something good for once." He said, looking you in the eyes. "And... I think about it often... and I've come to realize, it was my future."

"Your future?" You tilted your head, moving your arms around his neck.

"It was us. I didn't know it then, of course. I didn't know you at the time and I couldn't even see the face or hear the voice of the person. But now I know it was you. It was you and I, here on Naboo, out on Lake Country. On our picnic." He smiled down at you as your heart fluttered, your hands moving to rest on his cheeks, brushing the skin with your thumbs.

"You saw our future, Ben." You softly spoke, leaning towards him and planting a soft kiss to his lips. "You dreamt of it."

Nodding, he held you in a tight embrace. "If I only knew..."

Shutting your eyes for a moment as you took in a deep breath, you kissed the side of his head as he then lifted you and brought you back to bed. Lying you down before he fell beside you, Ben stroked your cheek as he looked at you. "Ben... when you were on Coruscant that time we... truly first met... Why were you there?"

Looking away, he sucked in a breath. Now that he knew it was you, he couldn't forget that moment. The girl who almost got caught by a group of First Order officers who were on the planet with Snoke. His paths had crossed with yours once before... and it nearly crossed with Snoke's. "Snoke..."

"Oh..." You swallowed.

"I-"

"It's okay, you don't have to explain." You shook your head as Ben lifted his head, looking you in the eyes. "That was in the past... What matters is that we were destined to meet again." You nodded, resting your hand on his cheek with a soft smile. "Did I ever tell you how I got Astrobleme?"

Shaking his head, Ben grabbed your hand from his cheek and kissed it. "No."

"Well, I was on Takodana on the run... Stole a vessel from a gang," You chuckled as his eyebrows lifted. "And, it was pretty bad, they were firing at me but... I was saved by this duo..." Biting your inner lip, you looked him in the eyes. "They helped me out of it, helped remove the tracker from the vessel and basically helped me have it as my own."

"That's nice." Ben nodded with a faint smile. "How did the name come to be?"

Swallowing, you looked down. "One of them gave me the name as an example and I took it..." You said. "Your father named my ship." Looking back up at him, Ben's heart sunk.

"My... father?"

"This was just before I ran into you on Coruscant. I obviously didn't know who Han or Ben Solo was... To me, both of you were nobodies. But, of course, nearly a decade later I'd find out who either of you were." Brushing your free hand through his hair, you held his chin.

"You've met my father?" Ben asked as you nodded. "That's how Chewie knew you..."

"Funny thing is, now that I think of it, he mentioned you a few times... Said he'd love for you to meet me..." You said as you could see the emotion in Ben's eyes the moment you confessed that. "It was a short encounter, but, he's the reason why I ended up traveling the galaxy."

Biting his tongue, Ben nodded before pulling you closer to him, lying you back down as he buried his face into your neck. "At least now I know you've met him." He mumbled into your neck as you softly smiled, wrapping your arms around him. "And... at least he knew you and I would've been nice."

"Mhm." You smiled. "You never told me how you escaped the Supremacy..." You breathed as Ben took in a deep breath, moving off of you as he lied on his side, eyeing your face.

"I wasn't going to let myself die there, not when there was a chance I could escape. So Beebee and I tried finding an escape pod—in which we luckily did—and, from there on, it was... a whole story for itself." He said as you eyed him. "We woke who knows how many days or weeks  later after we landed on this planet, Sullust. We found a TIE, it worked with us for a bit. We were trying to find you..."

Reaching out and running your fingers through his hair, his eyes fell from your own. "It was hard... It was getting me riled up by the fact that we couldn't find you. Nowhere. Not on any of those planets." Kylo tightened his jaw. "I was getting furious, I was growing afraid. I thought I wouldn't find you. I was losing hope and my doubt was getting the best of me."

"Then, our ship was going to shit and we had to land... It overheated and we lost it so wherever the hell we were was our last stop unless we found a way out of there... And I had hoped that you weren't on that planet, even if I was dying to find you already."

"Where was it?" You curiously asked, Kylo's eyes slowly looking up to meet yours.

"Corellia." He answered as you gulped, seeing the sudden shine in his eyes from tears that were building up.

He couldn't seem to look at you for what he was about to say. Although it felt like something he should've done, it didn't feel right... But a part of him reminded himself that, if he hadn't done it, _they_ would've still been alive, out there, probably abusing their next victim.

So, he fell on to his back, and looked at the ceiling instead as he sucked in a breath.

"Oh..." You softly spoke.

"I killed them." He grumbled, eyes now shut as your eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "I killed those two... bastards who hurt you. Who abused you. I slaughtered them." Seeing a tear slip from his eyes as his hands lifted to press against his face, you only pulled them off and moved closer to him. "I had to do it. I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to. I _needed_ to. Even if I'm trying to better myself."

"Ben..." Your soft voice filled his ears as he trembled there. "You didn't do it for no reason. You didn't... You didn't kill anyone innocent. I know, I know I shouldn't condone murder, but... You were acting on your emotions. On your loyalty. On my betterment. You were putting me above everything else." You said, wiping his tears.

"I- I know... I just, I couldn't stop myself." He gritted his teeth. "I went limb for limb, I obliterated them!" Ben shouted.

Looking down at him, you caressed his cheek. "They're gone and that's all that matters. They can't hurt me anymore. They never will. Ben, you were the one who freed me from Snoke and you are the one who rid those who harmed me from the galaxy." You lowly spoke. "Look where we are now... We're about to get married, we have beautiful twin boys who are absolutely wonderful... We have a family, we live on the most beautiful planet. Your mother's with us. And we have each other." You nodded, your own eyes watering as you blinked them away.

"Nothing, no one... can come between us—can ruin what we have. We are living the life we deserve. Beside one another, sharing the same air. Happy and free." Seeing him open his eyes as a few more tears slip, you wiped them away before kissing his cheeks.

Reaching up to you and bringing you into his chest, Ben held you close as he shut his eyes for a moment, feeling you against him, your heartbeat blending with his. The sound of your gentle breathing, the simplicity of your presence. Something to soothe his soul.

"I love you, Ben. Never forget it." You breathed as you lied against him, eyes shut as your hand rested against his cheek. "I love you so much."

Tightening his grip around you, he sucked in a breath, taking you in. "I love you, Y/N." He nearly whispered, turning his head to press a kiss against your head. "I love you..."

Resting easy that night, close to one another, you had woken up that morning to the sound of your twins rushing into your bedroom, trying to climb the bed as both you and Ben helped them up. "Good morning." You sweetly greeted, pulling Luke into your arms as Ben lifted Liam in his hands.

Pressing kisses against his face as he had his son hovered before him, giggles filling the air, Ben lowered him onto his chest. "Are you excited for today?" Seeing his son nod, reaching for his father's hair, Ben smiled.

Hearing a faint knock on the door, you looked over to see Leia. "Sorry, the little Ewoks slipped from my grip." She smiled as you shook your head dismissively.

"It's alright." You said, carrying your son on your hip as you stood from the bed.

"Come on, Ewoks, we've got a big day ahead of us!" Leia said to the twins, you handing over Luke as she took him.

"Give me a kiss." Ben said, pointing to his cheek as his son leaned forward and kissed it, Ben then tickling him as the little boy giggled. "I love you, buddy." He said before helping Liam down as the little boy with a head full of dark curls rushed to his grandmother. The twins were insanely identical, from the hair to the eyes, height and all. The only difference is the freckles and moles they had.

Liam had freckles like his father whereas Luke had scattered beauty marks. Everything else, nearly the same. It was like having a pair of little Ben's running around.

"Thank you, Leia." You smiled at her but she shook her head.

"Don't worry, I want this day to be perfect for the two of you." She smiled with a wink, grabbing Liam's hand as she walked away, you feeling your heart swell up. That is before you were picked up in Ben's arm as he kissed your neck.

You had shut the door seconds before he lifted you and held you to him, kissing up your neck as you let out a small laugh. "Ben, I have to get going..." You said, but he groaned against your skin, not wanting to let you go. "Look, you can hold me as much as you want once we exchange rings, okay?" You smiled as you leaned enough to a side, leaving a small peck to his cheek before he lowered you.

"Fine." He sighed, looking down at you as he grabbed your hands. "A wedding on Theed..."

"A wedding on Theed..." You nodded, smiling up at him. "I can't believe it. I for one never even thought I'd get married. I thought I'd live my life traveling the galaxy... nothing more."

"Well, I'm glad Luke found you." Ben nodded as you chuckled, tiptoeing and giving him a sweet kiss.

"Me too." Winking at him, you slid from his grip. "I'll see you later, don't get cold feet!" You pointed as he shook his head.

Watching you enter the washroom, giving him one last smile before shutting the door, he let out a sigh in content. "I promise you, I won't."

Hours had passed since that moment and Kylo found himself standing in front of hundreds of people. He knew it was his mothers doings. Especially since it was on Theed and he was—in fact—the grandson to one of the previous queens of Naboo. An excuse Leia used as to why the event was so grand and extravagant.

He wasn't as nervous by the fact that there were hordes of people and creatures before him, he was used to being before thousands of people in the First Order. He was more nervous about the idea of seeing you, walking down that aisle, and he would be too frozen to speak or even say 'I do.'

But, then, you walked down the aisle and his heart had stopped. It was just as he expected, if not, more breathtaking. He couldn't keep his eyes off of you and it almost felt as if he had forgotten to breathe. To think the woman he 'randomly' met through a Force connection would be the one he'd want to spend his forever with.

Keeping his eyes locked onto yours the entire ceremony as you had the biggest grin on your lips, your twin boys were both the ring bearers before they took either of your sides, you and Ben exchanging rings before you were announced husband and wife.

Pulling you into a strong kiss as you smiled into it, Ben then held you in his arms as he kissed your cheek, the audience cheering, music playing as petals and confetti was thrown into the air. Separating as either of you picked up one of your boys, walking hand in hand, you walked down the steps and saw the fireworks in the sky.

"This is too much..." You laughed, looking up at the sky as Liam reached up, watching in awe as Luke had done the same in Ben's arm.

"Yeah, well, I let my mother have at it. If it makes her happy, so be it. All I really cared for was getting married." He truthfully spoke, you looking up at him and smiling before he leaned forward to kiss you. "And I got what I wanted."


	64. Bonus IX: Lineage

"Good morning." Leia greeted with a smile, walking over to where you and Ben—along with the twins—had been eating for breakfast, out on the terrace, over looking the palace's scenery while enjoying the early morning. "It seems that, as they were processing the documentation for your wedding, they found something out about you Y/N..."

Looking away from Liam as you had been cleaning his face, your eyebrows lifted. "About me?" You questioned as Ben sat up and leaned towards you as Leia handed you a file. "What is it?" You asked as Leia shrugged.

"I'm unsure, I didn't look at it and they didn't tell me anything. They just said it was sensitive information." Leia nodded as you slowly nodded back, opening up the file and pulling out a few documents. "But... it seems as if it must be about you."

"About me..." You mumbled, eyeing the documents, seeing information about yourself—your name, age, height, all the obvious stuff you knew about yourself. Then, you saw a section for lineage. "Lineage?"

Looking over your shoulder, Ben read along with you. "You're not... from Corellia?" He said, as you read the same information.

"But... That's impossible? My parents are from Corellia..." You nearly muttered, reading on.

Walking over and looking at the document, Leia's eyes widened. "Sweetheart, you were born here... on Naboo..." She pointed out. "And your mother is from Naboo, too..."

Feeling your eyes widen as you looked through the papers, seeing information about your parents, your lips parted. "Naboo? But..." Stopping yourself, you took in a small breath. "Oh... My father is from Corellia."

"So it seems..." Leia said. "But, you were born here, it seems as if your parents must've moved to Corellia when you were young. Or, the possibility that they so happened to have passed away on Corellia."

"Shouldn't my adoptive parents have known about this?" You questioned, looking up at Leia as Ben took the file from you, looking through it.

"There's a chance they could have but lied to you." Ben considered. "A very high chance." Looking over at him to see him eyeing the files, you let out a small sigh.

"Is there... Is there a chance we could learn more about my parents?" You asked Leia as you turned back to face her.

"I'm sure there's a chance." Leia nodded. "I'll see what I can find."

Standing up, you pushed your chair in. "I'll help you, I really want to know more about them if I can." You softly smiled as Leia nodded in agreement before you turned to face Ben. "I'll be back." You said, leaning over and kissing his cheek before rounding the table to kiss the twin's heads. "Maybe papa can take the two of you to see the waterfalls?"

"Yes!" Liam nodded.

"Please!" Luke exclaimed, sitting up in his seat.

Shaking his head with a small laugh, Ben stuffed the files away before standing up. "Alright, alright. Let me know what you find out." He said, rubbing your upper arms before lifting the twins out of their high chairs and lowering them. "Maybe you're royalty." He teased with a wink as you rolled your eyes.

"Technically I am because of you." You shrugged, poking his nose before walking back over to Leia. "I'll see you loves in a bit." At that, with a small wave, you walked off.

Finding yourself beside Leia amongst the archives, looking through digital files, Leia called you over to her as you had been searching. "Y/N, honey... Look at this." She waved her hand as you walked over, leaning over her shoulder. "Your mother, she helped with the Rebellion."

Blinking, you read along the information Leia had found. "A rebel..."

"Yes... And your father worked with the Empire." Her voice softened as you swallowed. "It seems as if, from what I can comprehend, they fled to Corellia in order to start a new life but remnants of the Empire lingered and they tried to hide you... But-"

"They were caught..." You breathed, reading on as you bit down. "They were killed for treason..."

"It seems so..." Leia sighed, looking over at you for a moment to see your eyes shine with a hint of tears before you blinked them away.

"Well... At least now I know." You breathed, trying not to reminisce on the past. You had moved on and you started a new life from all the trouble you had gone through, and you knew your parents would've wanted that.

"I'm sorry..." Leia said, looking up at you, but you shook your head.

"It's okay. They died protecting me, they died for their love... It's not their fault. And- And I know, they wouldn't want me to dwell on it." You nodded. "They'd be happy to know that, out of all the hell I've been through, I've made a family of my own." You smiled, although a hint of emotion in your words, Leia smiled, too.

"They very much would be." She said, placing a hand on your back and rubbing it. "I know I am. I may not have known you for so long, but from all that I've heard... All that I've seen... It may not be much coming from me, but I am very proud of you, Y/N." Leia spoke from the bottom of her heart, searching your eyes. "You've done wonders for me and my family... And, most importantly, yourself." She smiled. "You've stopped at nothing, you've put others before you... You never allowed your past to keep you from succeeding. _You_ did this. And the one person who deserves to be the happiest, most proudest... is you."

Sucking in a breath as you smiled, Leia pulled you into a tight hug as you held her, back. "Thank you, Leia."

"Always, my dear. _Always_." Shutting her eyes and taking in a breath, a grin grew on her lips. The past was written in a certain way, but (if she could), she would've taken you in as her own. She saw so much within you. The light and hope. All so very bright no matter how much darkness you've seen and lived through. And she couldn't have thought of a better person to lover her son and mother her grandchildren... Let alone, a person who gained such a big spot in her heart.

"Why don't you go back to Ben and the twins, I'll handle things from here, okay?" She said as she now held onto your shoulders, giving you a warm smile.

"Okay." You nodded, giving her a kiss on the side of her head. "Thank you, again, really."

Shaking her head, Leia lifted a hand. "Just go and enjoy your family, okay? Nothing would make me happier knowing that you and my son are happy." Seeing you give her one last smile, she watched you walk away before she turned to eye the file.

Reading on for a bit more, Leia's eyebrows knitted. A family tree appeared for your mother, showing past family members and their ancestors. Some had information while others just simply had basic information.

Looking through them, Leia's head tilted the slightest. "A member of the Jedi council..." She read aloud, a distant blood relative catching her attention. "A Jedi Master... The only Force user in the family..." Lifting her eyebrows, Leia sat back. "You were always destined for greatness, Y/N."

Rushing along the grass as you could see Ben in the distance, using the Force and lifting Liam in the air as Luke watched in awe, jumping up and down, you smiled at the sight. You wanted nothing more than to just tackle Ben and hold your little boys close to you. To know that they were yours. That _that_ was your family.

Feeling your presence, Ben lowered Liam onto the ground before turning his head to see you, a big grin on your face as you ran towards him. "Y/N?" His eyebrows narrowed, but, as soon as you caught up to him, you tackled him onto the ground with a grunt from Ben.

Hearing giggling, the boys jumped on either of you as you fell beside Ben, holding Luke and kissing his cheek before reaching towards Liam. "I love you two so much!" You said as the boys moved to hold onto you, Ben watching with a smile.

"So, what happened?" He asked as you sat up, sitting the twins on you. "What did you find out."

"My mom was with the Rebellion and my father was with the Empire." You said as Ben's eyebrows narrowed. "They... They died protecting me..."

"Oh..." He said, but you shook your head.

"It's okay, because, I lose some... And then I gain some." You smiled, reaching over to him and pulling him into a kiss. "I have a family of my own... And that's all that matters."

Looking at you, Ben wrapped an arm around you as he kissed your forehead, then the top of the twins heads. "Our legacy." He said, placing his hand on your cheek.

"Mhm." You hummed, leaning into his touch. "I love you, Ben."

Smiling, seeing the tears in your eyes, he leaned forward and gave you a kiss before lowering his other arm to hold the boys before resting his head on top of yours. "I love you more than you possibly can imagine."


	65. Bonus X: Five Years Later

It was like any other day on Naboo; the sun was brightly shinning, the sounds of nature and the inhabitants of Theed filled the air as everyone moved on with their lives. It was like any other _afternoon_ where Ben had found himself busy, working alongside his mother—something he did from time to time. Except, now, he was headed back to see you and his twins.

Talented and skilled twins. Twins who, without a shock, were Force users.

You and Ben had taken it upon yourselves to train them when their abilities had woken up at the mere age of two. Of course, they were very young so it took time to teach them a few basic things like a sense of control and what _not_ do to.

But, now they were five and teaching them wasn't as hard as it once was. Ben, from time to time, would take them to Lake Country and would teach them there. Showing them how to wield the Force enough to lift and lower objects. Simple tasks for them.

And, to yours (and Ben's) relief, there wasn't a sense of darkness within either of them. They were overflowing with light and you couldn't help but believe that they had gotten that mainly from their grandmother and great uncle... Possibly, some from you.

Today was one of the days you had taken them to "train" for a bit. Showing them little things you knew how to do, like catch objects or to manipulate them. Like moving something away to benefit something else—in most of their cases, picking up their toys for the sake of a clean room and a happy you.

You had gotten an early start that morning and the twins were beyond eager to learn more, so (of course), you had gotten carried away and showed them what you could do—in which, they were completely stunned by. But, since you hardly used the Force, it exhausted you more than it normally had. You weren't all that old, you were just about to enter your thirties as Ben was midway through. It was the simple fact that you really didn't need to use the Force unless necessary. You lived a somewhat normal and stable life now.

Walking the halls and entering his shared chambers with you, Ben aimed for the bedroom—seeing as you weren't anywhere in sight—only to come to a stop. You and the boys were knocked out on the bed.

You, a little towards the center, had Luke resting against you as Liam had shifted in his sleep and was diagonal, resting his head against Luke's stomach, sprawled out. He was sure the kids had overworked you—and themselves.

Seeing your arm draped over Luke as Liam had his hand loosely holding onto your fingers, Ben walked over. Removing his shoes and carefully climbing onto the bed, he rested against your back as his arm lied over you and Luke, face in your hair after pressing a soft kiss to your neck. He could go for a nap, he had gotten up a little too early for that morning and a nap with his family seemed nice.

And, it was. Luckily for him, you and the boys had taken your nap not even half an hour before he returned to see you. The four of you napped for a good two hours before the twins got fidgety and you felt them... as well as the heat against your back. And the sound of faint snoring by your ear.

Opening your eyes and seeing the boys shift in their spots—Luke on his stomach as Liam had his legs over the bed, slowly in the process of waking up—you turned enough to face Ben. Wrapping you arm over his shoulder and bringing him to your chest, you ran your fingers through his hair as you kissed the top of his head. He, on the other hand, was still asleep.

Twirling the soft locks of hair around your finger, you heard faint whispering amongst the twins. Just about to turn, Ben's grip around you tightened as he held you closer, mumbling incoherent words as you let out a small laugh.

"Mommy..." Hearing Luke whisper, you turned your head enough to see him sitting on his knees beside you. "Can we go find gramma?" He asked as you nodded.

"Stick together, I'll know if you're doing something else." You pointed as they giggled. "And ask Dez for help, he should be at his usual post and always knows where Leia is."

"Dez!" They exclaimed in sync, hopping off of the bed and rushing out of the room.

"Hey!" You called out, hearing giggles as they instantly rushed back, standing just beside Ben where he had been laying. "Rey is coming tomorrow with her Padawans to train with you two so you have to go to bed earlier today." You pointed as they nodded.

"Okay!" They smiled, you sitting up enough to kiss their foreheads.

Hearing slight groaning, Ben had let go of you and turned, reaching for the twins with one arm and pulling them to him as they let out more giggles. "Behave good." He mumbled as they nodded, then using his free hand to point at his cheek, the two leaning over and kissing him. "And don't drive your grandmother insane."

"We won't!" They shook their heads as Ben had let go, turned them, and gently nudged them for them to go.

"For a pair of five year olds, they know their way around this palace too well." You said as Ben turned onto his back to look at you.

"They're smart. Plus, they've got a connection to Leia so she's easy to find for them." He pointed out as you nodded, moving to lie next to him.

"How was it today?" You asked him.

"It was good, you can easily tell my mother enjoys working with me. She's always smiling." He lightly smiled, reaching his hand over into your hair as he rested his forehead against yours.

"That's great." You smiled, leaning in to kiss him gently.

"How about you?" He asked.

"Well, the boys wanted to see what I could do and see if they could learn how to do it, but that was draining..." You said as Ben leaned back to look at you. "Exhausting, actually, I really need to use the Force more often... I feel like how I did when I first started training." You laughed as Ben's hand fell onto your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek.

"Maybe we should spend some time training together so we don't lose our _mojo_." He winked as you grinned.

"Yeah, maybe then we can play flash tag." You winked back as he rolled his eyes.

"Flash tag, really?"

"Mhm! We've never done it before, could be fun..." You shrugged. "Maybe tomorrow as the boys are with Rey?"

"Hmm... Fine." He sighed as you let out a small shriek, wrapping an arm around him and rolling onto him. "Let's go eat something, I'm hungry."

Walking along the palace's halls, Leia had found herself in between two overly energetic twin boys as they hopped in their steps, holding either of her hands. "Gramma, can you use the Force?" Luke asked.

"Somewhat, yes. But not as much as your parents can." She answered with a smile.

"Did you ever train?" Liam questioned as she then looked over at him.

"A little bit with my brother. Not enough, but, I was a very busy women." Leia nodded.

"Can we train you?" Luke smiled up at her as she let out a small chuckle. "Mommy and daddy taught us some things, and Rey will tomorrow! We could teach you!"

"That would be lovely." She smiled down at him as he eagerly tugged her along.

"Let's go now!" He rushed, Liam doing the same as they brought her outside towards the waterfalls.

Making their way into the grass and letting go of her hand, they stood before her. "Do you know how to lift rocks?" Liam asked.

"I haven't done it in so long... You'd have to remind me." She shrugged.

"Okay! It's easy, first, pick a rock..." Liam said. "I choose this one..." He pointed to one.

"And I choose this one!" Luke said.

"Alright, I'll choose that one." Leia pointed, walking over and showing the boys.

"Okay, now, you want to put all your focus on the rock. Focus everything onto it, and reach your hand towards it... like you're reaching into the Force..." Luke explained, biting his tongue as he and Liam stuck their hands out.

"Okay..." Reaching her hand out, towards the rock, Leia did exactly as told.

"And then... it should float!" Liam exclaimed as his began to float, then Luke's, then Leia's.

"See! You did it!" Luke cheered with a toothy smile.

"I have a pair of good Master's." She smiled over to them.

"Oh, let's show her how to move them!" Liam looked over at Luke as he nodded.

From afar, you and Ben had been sitting on the terrace, watching. Leaning your chin in the palm of your hand as you kept your eyes on the three with a small smile, you could easily feel Leia's happiness radiate off of her. Especially with how bright her own smile was from afar.

"She really loves the boys." You said.

"Yeah..." Ben nodded, arms crossed on the table as he looked over. "She's told me that they remind her so much of me... Their looks especially. She says it's like having two Ben's. Except, this time, she'd be able to watch over them more..." He said as you then turned your head to look at him.

Reaching your hand over to hold his, you gave him a kind smile. "She still has you here with her." You said as he slowly nodded. "She's just trying to do what's right... What she missed out on with you."

"Yeah... I don't think I could send our boys to train with Rey. I don't want them to be gone for too long." Ben breathed. "I don't want to miss anything. Not a beat." He said as he looked back over, seeing the twins cheering for Leia. "It's like I'm seeing myself as a child all over again, except, this time... They won't have to struggle like I did. I want them to live their best lives."

"They will." You nodded. "We're making it for them. So they can live better lives than we did." Standing up and walking over to him, you kissed his cheek. "They'll do just fine. Don't worry about them. The light will always be with them."

Nodding, Ben wrapped his arm around your waist and sat you on his lap, resting his head against you as he continued watching his mother and his boys.

Resting your head against his, you smiled. "And they will always have us by their side to guide them."

Watching as Leia played along with the twins, using the Force to tease them, a pair of familiar Force ghosts appeared in the distance—Anakin and Luke. The twins always got excited at the sight of them, but being so distracted by their grandmother, they hardly even noticed.

The simple sight before them made them smile. Anakin wore a bright grin on his lips, his daughter and her grandchildren... his very own great grandchildren. Something he knew Padmé would've loved to have seen. And the same went for Luke, the sight making him think about Han, wondering how it would've been if Han was there, too.

"Thank you..." You nearly whispered to Ben, resting your hand against his cheek as you kissed his other. "Thank you for all of this..."

Tightening his grip around you, he sucked in a breath, pressing a kiss against the side of your head before looking at you. "I have _you_ to thank." He said, you shifting your eyes over to him. "I may have had a rough past, but... if changing it means I wouldn't have met you, then, I wouldn't change it for the universe."

Smiling at him, you gave him a sweet kiss to the lips, then resting your cheek against his as you took in a deep breath. "Neither would I."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Kudos and comments are much appreciated :)


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